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September 21, 2011

The Art of Being a Wife

In case you were interested in some burning man pics, one of the friends I went with has posted some pics of our trip on her blog ” title=”etiquette which you can get to here.”> etiquette which you can get to here.  I can also personally vouch for her cooking.  I had some of her strawberry-rhubarb jam bars last week and they were simply delectable. 

I consider myself a feminist, career-oriented, and ambitious but one day I also want to be a good wife.  I love that someone of my generation has embraced the idea that being a good wife is still important.  The Art of Being a Wife Read More »

Rosh Hashanah: A day of insight not atonement

What is the difference between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur?  We often refer to both as days of judgment, yet they seem as different as night and day.  Rosh Hashanah is a Yom Tov, a joyous holiday, on which we eat and drink and have simcha, joy.  In contrast, on Yom Kippur we are filled with awe and perhaps anxiety, asceticism, and standing for long periods of time, almost the opposite of the Yom Tov of Rosh Hashanah. 

The Rambam, Maimonides, writes that the shofar (ram’s horn) is like an alarm that wakes us from the everydayness of the year, the wasting of time, the banal passage of day in and day out.  The sound of the shofar shocks us into evaluation, into reflection upon the rest of the year. 

But if Rosh Hashanah is such a day of reckoning, why not say vidoy, confession, on Rosh Hashanah as we do on Yom Kippur?  Indeed according to the halacha, Jewish law, there can be no tishuvah, no repentance, without all of its steps, one of which is verbal confession before God. 

Rosh Hashanah, according to the Talmud is the main Day of Judgment.  Yom Kippur is a kind of last resort for those not forgiven on Rosh Hashanah.  As the Talmud says, “On Rosh Hashanah all pass in judgment like sheep…the righteous are judged for life, the wicked for death and the judgments of others are suspended until Yom Kippur.” Then why is Rosh Hashanah a holiday filled with food and drink?  Why not have Yom Kippur on the first of Tishrey (the Hebrew date upon which Rosh Hashanah falls) and be done with the process of judgment? 

Perhaps Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are fundamentally different and necessary modes of doing tishuvah (repentance and return).  We see this I think from Maimonides.  According to Maimonides Rosh Hashanah with its shofar sound is not a day of achieving atonement, of the steps of repentance, but of waking up, of coming to terms with life.  Rosh Hashanah lacks the four steps of tishuvah, one of which is formalized confession, yet it is indeed a day of judgment. 

There are two stages to tishuvah one which is achieved on Rosh Hashanah and one on Yom Kippur.  One is not complete without the other.  If we had only Yom Kippur, we would go through the formalized steps of repentance, regretting our sin, stopping it, asking and receiving forgiveness, verbal confession, and becoming someone who will not do it again.  But this would be an incomplete tishuvah.  This would be a tishuvah, though real and transformative with regard to each sin itself, of formality.  The tzadik, the completely righteous person, who has no sins to speak of does not require Yom Kippur and is, according to the Talmud forgiven on Rosh Hashanah, but the righteous individual still does require Rosh Hashanah.  Why?

The tishuvah of Rosh Hashanah is not atonement for individual sins but an essential day of waking and reckoning, of evaluation and insight, which even the person who has not sinned must undergo.  As Maimonides points out, this day with the sound of the shofar, and not Yom Kippur with its atonement, conditions the rest of our year, makes us see the rest of our year as one in which every moment is significant, one in which every moment is a test of making choices, of being at a spiritual crossroads. 

Before we can engage in the formalities of the tishivah process of Yom Kippur, we must experience the more global life changing insights of Rosh Hashanah.  To do tishuvah on all of our sins, to feel regret for each of them, ask forgiveness, confess them and not do them again is not enough.  The New Year must be a time of whole life insight and existential transformation.  Such is the call of the Shofar.

My blessings for a New Year of insight, light and transformation,
Rabbi Hyim Shafner

Rosh Hashanah: A day of insight not atonement Read More »

Moving In. Or Up and Out.

About a month ago, my friend Dominique had an informal housewarming party.  She had just moved into a great new house with her boyfriend and we were all christening the backyard patio area with some light fun.  She and her boyfriend had been dating for a year and half and seemed like they could not be happier about the move.  At some point, I got into a conversation with four other girls, all of whom I’ve written about it here, about whether or not you should live with someone before getting engaged.  They were evenly divided: two of them thought it was absolutely necessary to live with someone first and they would never want to marry someone they hadn’t worked out the day-to-day kinks with.  Two of them thought they would never move in with someone without a ring on their finger because a guy just puts off marriage if he’s living with a girl and they didn’t want to wake up one day in their late thirties five years into a relationship realizing they were dating someone who was afraid of commitment.  The argument got pretty heated and eventually we all had to abruptly change the subject because we realized we might as well be arguing over whose religion was better.  No one was going to convert anyone that night and apparently people feel pretty passionately about the subject. 

My opinion on the subject has softened over the years but I have always leaned more towards the idea that living together is not a prerequisite for me to get engaged.  I used to be of the hardcore I-will-never-live-with-someone-till-I-have-a-ring ilk.  Some of this is a result of my mother’s years of proselytizing that living together first is a bad idea.  In the words of my Minnesotan college roommate why buy the cow when you’re gettin’ the milk for free?  Some of this is a result of my first long term relationship.  I thought he needed goading to get over his fear of commitment and if I stuck to my guns one day he’d propose.  Now, I’m glad I didn’t give in and move in with him because it just would have been a more prolonged complicated break-up if I had.  I fear that relationship made me a pessimist on the subject so that now I think all men need a little motivation to get married instead of putting it off.  But nonetheless, that rule served me well early on in life because it was the reason I didn’t move in with him and thank god for that.

Over time though, I started to realize that maybe that one ex had left me jaded.  Maybe the rule was totally obsolete if I was with the right guy.  I still believed in true love, whatever that means, and so I started to think isn’t there a guy out there who wants to propose to me because he loves me and not because he’s sick of coming to my place?

My friends who were fans of the cohabitation stage made some really good points.  Beth said that when you move in with anyone there are going to be some natural wrinkles in the path and she’d prefer to iron those out before the marriage stage so that after the wedding it could be smooth sailing.  Dominique said what I’ve heard a lot of people say – that you can’t really know someone till you live with them.  Plus, marriage is such a gamble anyway why not give yourself the chance to be a little bit more sure.  And only after living together will you really know if you can deal with each other at their worst.  60 to 70% of couples nowadays will live together before marriage and yet the ” title=”www.tamarashaynekagel.com” target=”_blank”> www.tamarashaynekagel.com and follow her on twitter Moving In. Or Up and Out. Read More »

Jolson is the mensch at The Winter Garden by Mike Burstyn

Born in New York to a famed family of actors, Mike first walked out on stage at the age of three, stole the show from his father and hasn’t looked back since. He has enjoyed a unique international career entertaining audiences on stage, screen and television, in nightclubs and on concert stages throughout the world. “The Komediant,” a documentary about Mike and his family, won the Israeli Oscar and is available on DVD and video.

Mike just enjoyed standing ovations in “Jolson at the Winter Garden,” the new musical he co-wrote and created, at the Maltz Jupiter Theatre, and Off-Broadway and in Los Angeles as Meyer Lansky in “Lansky,” receiving his 2nd Outer Critics Circle Award nomination. He received his 2nd Drama Desk Award nomination and rave reviews in New York for his performance in “On 2nd Avenue.”  He recently completed a sold-out concert tour of Israel celebrating his 50th Anniversary in Show Business and co-starred with Valerie Harper in the National tour of “The Tale Of The Allergist’s Wife.” Prior to that he starred in a National tour garnering rave reviews as Al Jolson in the musical “Jolson.” He won his 1st Outer Critics Circle Award nomination starring as Mike Todd in the Broadway musical “Ain’t Broadway Grand” and his 1st Drama Desk Award nomination for his portrayal of Mayer Rothschild in the critically acclaimed Off-Broadway revival of “The Rothschilds.” Mike starred on Broadway as P.T. Barnum in the Tony Award winning musical “Barnum” (a role he recreated in the Dutch language production in The Netherlands). Other Broadway credits include “The Megilla” and “Inquest,” in which he was hissed and booed eight times a week as Roy Cohn.

“>Find more photos like this on EveryJew.com

Off-Broadway Mike acted as host-narrator for the 92nd Street Y’s famous “Lyrics & Lyricists” series, inaugurated City Center’s popular Encores series in “Fiorello” and starred in “The Fishkin Touch,” in Murray Schisgal’s “Circus Life” and in the revival of Neil Simon’s “The Prisoner of Second Avenue.”

His recent regional credits include acclaimed portrayals of Tevye in “Fiddler On The Roof” at Salt Lake City’s Pioneer Theatre and at the Westchester Broadway Theatre; as Nathan Detroit in “Guys & Dolls” with Vic Damone; “1040,” a new musical by Jerry Bock (“Fiddler On The Roof”) and Jerry Sterner (“Other People’s Money”) at the University of Houston; as Kurt Weill in “Berlin To Broadway” at the Coconut Grove Playhouse (Carbonell Award Nomination); “Hatikva,” his tribute to Israel’s 50th Anniversary and the national tour of the Broadway musical “Those Were The Days.”

Recent U.S. TV appearances include “As The World Turns,” “The Cosby Mysteries,” “Law & Order” and HBO’s “Dog Watch” with Sam Elliot and Paul Sorvino.

Overseas, Mike has been one of Israel’s all-time popular stars since settling there with his parents and twin sister, Susan, in 1962. He is the winner of two Israeli “Oscars” for his screen portrayal of Kuni Leml, a kind of Israeli Forrest Gump. The Israel Cinematheque saluted his achievements in the Israeli film industry by honoring him at a special ceremony in 1997. Over the past decades he has had several successful television shows and been a recording artist for CBS Israel.

From 1978 to 1981, Mike hosted and starred in his own TV variety show in Holland. “The Mike Burstyn Show” was rated among the ten most popular shows in The Netherlands, Belgium and Luxembourg. Among the many guest artists to make their Dutch television debuts on the show were Mike’s friends Ben Vereen and Chita Rivera, who recommended him to the producers of “Barnum.” Since then he has divided his time between the US, Holland and Israel.

Among his other numerous achievements: Mike had the honor of performing before President Reagan, Queen Beatrix of The Netherlands, and the Presidents and Prime Ministers of Israel; starred in a Royal Variety Show at London’s famed Paladium; and as a soldier in the Israel Defense Forces entertained the troops both in peacetime and during three wars, hosting and performing with Danny Kaye on his month-long tour of army bases and hospitals following the Six Day War. He is fluent in and has performed in eight languages.

Mike’s father, Pesach, was one of the great stars of the Yiddish theatre. His biography, “What A Life,” has been published by Syracuse University Press.

Mike’s late mother, Lillian Lux, partnered her late husband on and off stage for nearly 50 years. Mike recently brought her to Israel where they marked what would have been his father’s 100th birthday by mounting one of his legendary musicals, with Mike playing his father’s original role.

“>Find more photos like this on EveryJew.com

Mike has been honored through the years with numerous artistic, cultural and humanitarian awards. He is an honorary board member of Gilda’s Club, a Regent of the American Friends of the Hebrew University, President of American Friends of Yedidim and served as Honorary President of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation of Israel.

Mike is the husband of a beautiful angel and the proud father of two incomparable sons and the very proud grandpa of one princess of a granddaughter.

Jolson is the mensch at The Winter Garden by Mike Burstyn Read More »

Palestinians rally for Abbas’s U.N. statehood bid

Flag-waving Palestinians filled the squares of major West Bank cities on Wednesday to rally behind President Mahmoud Abbas’s bid for statehood recognition at the United Nations despite U.S. and Israeli objections.

“We are asking for the most simple of rights, a state like other nations,” said Sabrina Hussein, 50, carrying the green, red, black and white Palestinian national flag at a demonstration in Ramallah.

Abbas’s Palestinian Authority, which exercises limited self-rule in the Israeli-occupied West Bank under 1990s interim peace deals, gave school children and civil servants the day off to attend events in Ramallah, Bethlehem, Nablus and Hebron.

A large mockup of a blue chair, symbolizing a seat at the U.N., and giant Palestinian flags hanging from buildings provided a backdrop for the Ramallah rally, where attendance peaked at several thousand.

The main venues were far removed from Israeli military checkpoints on the perimeter of the cities and the rallies were peaceful.

But in incidents away from the gatherings, Palestinian youngsters threw rocks at Israeli soldiers at a checkpoint on the edge of Ramallah and in the divided West Bank city of Hebron. The soldiers responded with tear gas, and in Ramallah also used a so-called “screamer”—a device that emits an ear-splitting high-pitched sound—to disperse stone-throwers.

Palestinian leaders have pledged that demonstrations for statehood would be peaceful.

Later in the day in New York, U.S. President Barack Obama was due to meet Abbas to urge him to drop plans to ask the U.N. Security Council to recognize a Palestinian state. Washington says statehood should be achieved through peace talks.

Abbas has said he will present U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon with a membership application on Friday. The move requires Security Council approval and the United States, one of five veto-wielding permanent members, says it will block it.

At the Ramallah rally, Amina Abdel Jabbar al-Kiswany, a head teacher, said the U.N. bid was a step on the road to statehood, not a solution to the decades-old Israeli-Palestinian conflict, which direct negotiations have failed to resolve.

“It’s a cry of desperation,” Kiswany said.

Reflecting anger with U.S. policy, a Palestinian, his face covered by a scarf, climbed the stage scaffolding and set ablaze an American flag. Earlier, some of the demonstrators had tried to stop the flag burning.

Washington’s pledge to veto the bid for U.N. membership has added to deep Palestinian disappointment in Obama. The Palestinians have long complained of what they see as Washington’s complete support for Israel at their expense.

“America talks about human rights. They support South Sudan. Why don’t they support us?” said Tamer Milham, a 26-year old computer engineer, referring to the new state of South Sudan which was admitted to the United Nations in July.

U.S.-brokered peace talks collapsed a year ago after Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu refused to extend a 10-month limited moratorium on construction in Jewish settlements in areas Palestinians want for a state.

Netanyahu has called the Palestinian demand of a halt to settlement building an unacceptable precondition and urged Abbas to return to negotiations.

The Israeli leader was due to meet Obama, with whom he has had a strained relationship, later in the day on the sidelines of the U.N. General Assembly.

Palestinians hope to establish a state in the West Bank, East Jerusalem and Gaza Strip, territories captured by Israel in the 1967 Arab-Israeli war.

The Palestinian Authority has held sway only in the West Bank since Hamas Islamists opposed to his peace efforts with Israel seized Gaza in a brief civil war in 2007.

Hamas has dismissed the U.N. bid as a waste of time and there were no rallies in the Mediterranean enclave, where Palestinians argue that Abbas should be devoting his energies to bridging the internal political divide.

Israel cites historical and biblical links to the West Bank, which it calls Judea and Samaria, and to Jerusalem. It claims all of the city as its capital, a status that is not recognized internationally.

Writing by Jeffrey Heller in Jerusalem; Editing by Mark Heinrich

Palestinians rally for Abbas’s U.N. statehood bid Read More »

Obama to UN: Consider Israel’s security

President Obama appealed to the United Nations to recognize Israel’s security concerns in considering the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

“We believe that any lasting peace must acknowledge the very real security concerns that Israel faces every single day,” Obama said in his address Wednesday to the U.N. General Assembly plenary.

Obama repeated his administration’s calls on the Palestinians not to use the United Nations as a vehicle for achieving statehood, and called for Israel and the Palestinians to return to talks based on the parameters he outlined May.

“Peace will not come through statements and resolutions at the United Nations,” he said.

“Let’s be honest: Israel is surrounded by neighbors that have waged repeated wars against it. Israel’s citizens have been killed by rockets fired at their houses and suicide bombs on their buses. Israel’s children come of age knowing that throughout the region other children are taught to hate them. Israel, a small country of less than 8 million people, looks out at a world where leaders of much larger nations threaten to wipe it off of the map. The Jewish people carry the burden of centuries of exile, and persecution, fresh memories of knowing that 6 million people were killed simply because of who they are,” he said.

“Those are facts. They cannot be denied. The Jewish people have forged a successful state in their historic homeland. Israel deserves recognition. It deserves normal relations with its neighbors. And friends of the Palestinians do them no favors by ignoring this truth, just as friends of Israel must recognize the need to pursue a two-state solution with a secure Israel next to an independent Palestine.”

Obama also called for U.N. Security Council sanctions on Syria. Unlike his references to insurgencies in Bahrain and Yemen, he did not repeat his earlier calls for a democratic transition in Damascus, a sign that his administration has given up on trying to broker a transition with Syria’s current ruler.

Obama to UN: Consider Israel’s security Read More »

Agriprocessors’ Rubashkin denied new trial


Former Agriprocessors executive Sholom Rubashkin was denied a new trial by a U.S. appeals court.
 The St. Louis Court of Appeals ruled Sept. 16 that Rubashkin did not prove in his bid for a new trial that the presiding judge in the original case, Linda Reade of the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Iowa, should have recused herself because she was involved in planning the May 2008 federal immigration raid on Agriprocessors that led to the company’s bankruptcy later that year.

 

Rubashkin, the former head of what once was the nation’s largest kosher slaughterhouse and packing plant, located in Postville, Iowa, was convicted of financial fraud in 2009 and sentenced to 27 years in prison. Rubashkin is in a federal prison in New York state.

In the federal raid on the plant, 389 illegal immigrants were arrested, including 31 children.
The appeals court also disagreed with Rubashkin’s contention that the sentence was too long.

A Rubashkin attorney told the Des Moines Register that his client would appeal the decision to the U.S. Supreme Court.
 


Agriprocessors’ Rubashkin denied new trial
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Teach For America trip gives teachers taste of Israeli schools

The daughter of a Jewish father and a Catholic mother, Rachel Swift Linn always felt Jewish, even after her parents divorced when she was young and she began living with her mother.

But that’s not how Linn is perceived by much of the organized Jewish community. 

“I’d tell people I’m Jewish, and they’d say, ‘No, you’re not,’ ” Linn said, frowning at the memory.

Despite the negative feedback, Linn continued to identify herself as Jewish and became more determined than ever to find meaning in her Jewish background.

That determination led Linn, a 23-year-old Spanish teacher at the New Millennium Secondary School in Carson, Calif., to apply for the REALITY Israel Experience.

A part of the Teach For America (TFA) program, which taps recent college grads to teach in economically distressed communities, Linn was one of the 57 TFA educators — including several from Los Angeles — who visited Israel this summer on a trip of professional development and personal discovery.  

Funded by the Charles and Lynn Schusterman Family Foundation (CLSFF) and the Samberg Family Foundation in partnership with Teach For America and the ROI Community of Young Jewish Innovators, the visit introduced TFA corps members to Israel’s education and social justice systems through the prism of Jewish values.  

To qualify for the all-expenses-paid program, participants needed to demonstrate “an affiliation or interest in Jewish life,” Adam Simon, associate national director of the Schusterman Foundation explained during an encounter with pluralistic Israeli schools at the Keshet School in Jerusalem.

While some of the participants have two Jewish parents, others have one Jewish parent or another Jewish family member. Still others aren’t Jewish but have Jewish partners and want to learn more about Jewish life and culture.

Only 4 percent of the participants had previously visited Israel, organizers said.

Throughout their time in Israel, the young educators explored how Jewish values such as tikkun olam inform social justice, activism, education, charity and other contributions to the larger community.

At the much-depleted Dead Sea, the director of EcoPeace/Friends of the Earth Middle East explained how Israeli, Palestinian and Jordanian environmentalists are working together to tackle Israel’s water shortage. In Yerucham, a development town, they learned how the organization Atid BaMidbar has helped heal divisions between Sephardi and Ashkenazi Jews.  

A day devoted to inclusiveness included a unique meal at the Blackout Restaurant, where the participants dined in total darkness, served by blind waiters; and a performance by a troupe of deaf-blind performers.

A tutorial on physical accessibility brought the participants to Jerusalem, where they tried to navigate a busy street on crutches, blindfolded or in wheelchairs.

The participants also spent time talking shop with their counterparts from Teach First Israel — a TFA-like program — at Israeli schools. 

In Jerusalem, the participants received a living lesson in tolerance by speaking with students from the Keshet School, where Jewish kids from every religious stream study together; and at the Hand in Hand School, a bilingual Hebrew/Arabic school; and in Tel Aviv at the Bialik-Rogozin School, which (as conveyed in the Academy Award-winning documentary “Strangers No More”) has opened its doors and hearts to the children of refugees and foreign workers.

While acknowledging that their programs are unique, educators from the three schools emphasized that with the right vision and values, with enthusiastic people at the helm, and with a good head for fundraising, educational models that foster pluralism, equality and inclusiveness can be created anywhere.

“The trip’s goal has been to present Jewish life as relevant and meaningful, no matter where you teach,” Simon said.

Teach For America viewed the Israel trip as a pilot, according to Andrew Mandell, TFA’s vice president of interactive learning and engagement.

Although the young teachers receive training to prepare them for their two-year commitment, “we haven’t done any programming to help our corps members process the experience and to reflect on their values and strengths.”

Mandell called the REALITY experience “a special and unique opportunity.” Israel, he said, “is a great place to talk about leadership, Jewish values and how to create an equitable society.”

Like the group as a whole, the TFA representatives from Los Angeles said they would bring the lessons they learned back into their classrooms in the fall.

“I learned a lot about the way conflicts in Israel are created and resolved,” said Katherine Devries, a 23-year-old sixth-grade teacher at the Lakeview Charter Academy. Devries, who was raised Catholic and has “a half-Jewish” boyfriend, said she hopes to challenge her students more after meeting “Israeli kids so articulate about their identity and their relationships to each other.”

Julianna Malogolowkin, who just completed a year teaching in South Los Angeles, found it “amazing” how Israelis deal with hardship.

“We’re working in low-income communities, and we think things are quite bad. They are, but in Israel we’ve come to see how they deal with similar problems.”

Spending time in Israel also sparked Malogolowkin’s interest in Judaism. Both her parents are Jewish, she said.

Now, she said, “I want Judaism to be a larger presence in my life, and I’m looking into studying at the Hebrew University,” she said.

Becky Weinstein, who encountered anti-Semitism during her childhood in Massachusetts, “even though just about the only Jewish thing about me was my last name,” was moved by the many concrete examples of tikkun olam she encountered in Israel.  

The realization that Jewish values are so consistent with her own ideals motivated Weinstein, a special-education teacher at the KIPP Academy of Opportunity in South Los Angeles, to seek out a Jewish community — for the very first time — upon her return home.

For Linn, the Spanish teacher, the trip was a valuable way to explore how Israelis, who are required to learn English, and sometimes Arabic, succeed with bilingualism.

It was also a chance to be embraced as a Jew.

“The reaction [to my Jewish status] here has been the total opposite of the reaction back home,” Linn said. “In Israel, Jewishness is as much about being a people than a religion, and I have a place in it.”

In Los Angeles, she said, “I want to become more involved in the Jewish community.”

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Apples and honey

One of the most meaningful customs at each Rosh Hashanah meal is the dipping of apples into honey. By doing so we make a sweet fruit, the apple, taste even sweeter.

Obviously this symbolizes our yearnings for a very sweet year for us, our loved ones and, indeed, for everyone.

The use of two sweet objects may echo the biblical use of doubling for emphasis and the later rabbinic interpretive use of plural forms not merely for emphasis but also to evoke multifold and even untold multiplication — in this case, the multiplication of the realization of our unspoken hopes for the coming year. Nonetheless, we gain more insight by examining the specific choices here.

First, the apple: We received the Torah at Mount Sinai, which the midrash compares to an apple tree. Our sages comment that just as the apple tree ripens its fruit in the month of Sivan, so the Torah was given to Israel during Sivan. Indeed, when the Bible states, “under the apple tree I awakened you” (Song of Songs 8:5), the Talmud claims that this refers to Mount Sinai (Shabbat 88a). The apple, then, connotes all the mystery and majesty of the Sinai experience, all spiritual wisdom and insight we can glean from Torah, and the possibility of a relationship with God.

The rabbis further suggest a comparison of the apple tree to the Holy One. They cite Song of Songs 2:3, “As an apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my Beloved.” The mystical tradition expands upon this, suggesting the various ways in which the comparison is apt (Zohar, Leviticus 74a).

The apple, compared to the Mount Sinai experience and to Hashem, thus symbolizes the “spiritual,” the search for God, for Torah, for meaning, for holiness, for spiritual encounter, for direction for our life’s path.

Honey, on the other hand, symbolizes the search for the “material,” for security, for comfort, for home, for livelihood, for physical health. As the psalmist writes, “They will be fed the best of the wheat; and with honey from the rock, I will satisfy them” (81:17).

This week we read Nitzavim, the portion always read on the Shabbat preceding Rosh Hashanah, where the Holy One assures us that the possibility of holy living is not unattainable, but is “in our mouth” (Deuteronomy 30:14). On Rosh Hashanah,  we dip the apple into honey to symbolically fulfill this verse, a verse that also hints at the possibility of the fulfillment of our deepest spiritual yearnings.

So we dip the apple, symbolic of the spiritual, into the honey, symbolic of the material, and thereby sweeten that which is already sweet. But notice that the material blessings of honey mean nothing unless and until they attach themselves to the solid, pleasing, emotional and spiritual core of the apple, one of the hardiest fruits. Our spirituality, like the apple, must have a nurtured core, for it, not our accumulation of material goods, is what truly and enduringly sustains us.

Our dipping thus expresses our hope that we can combine our more immediate concern for comfort, for home, for livelihood and for health with our more primal quest for the spiritual, for God, for Torah, for connection, for meaning. A full life combines both while recognizing that the spiritual is primary.

And since each person dips his or her own apple into the honey, we symbolically declare that we shall each take responsibility for our own spiritual direction and for our personal sense of wholeness. This dipping into our own potential to chart our lives thus raises the act beyond a mere hope: The charting of our lives this year, the potential for spiritual moment, holy encounter and balanced living is “in our mouths,” a project whose realization is attainable — a challenge, surely, but one that grants us our dignity and the sense that life is precious.

Yehi ratzon mil’fanecha Adonai Eloheinu veilohei imahoteinu va-avoteinu, she-t’chadesh aleinu shanah tovah u-m’tukah um-lei-a v’rachah.

May the Holy One grant you and yours a year in which you will feel spiritually as hearty as the apple tree, where through seeking God and Torah, your branches grow rich fruits of holy connection and deep spirituality. And may your souls be drenched in the honey of home, comfort, health and livelihood. And finding the apples of your souls drenched in the sweet honey of your surroundings, may you experience this year — and all of life — as one of goodness, sweetness and blessing. Amen.

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Pop Quiz: Are You A True Bargainista?

These questions will test your thriftyhood. (Hint: the correct answer is always B.)

1. You are about to leave a restaurant, and there is still some bread left in the basket. You

    A. Are not at all agonized by the thought that it will all be dumped into the garbage.
    B. Wrap the remaining slices in a napkin for tomorrow’s breakfast. This is why you always carry a large bag.

2. You see a quarter lying on the sidewalk. You

    A. Walk on by without sullying your fingers.
    B. Bend down, pick it up, put it in your pocket – and hand it to the next homeless person you come across.

3. You bring home a pound of potato salad from an overpriced deli. I’m not mentioning any names, but if I were, it would be Whole Foods.  At dinner, you discover that the potatoes are sorely undercooked. You

    A. Force it down, pretending that the crunchiness comes from carrots.
    B. Return it the next day and demand a refund, which you use on something safe like a jar of chopped sun-dried tomatoes.

4. Your friend is moving out of town, and offers you two huge boxes of kitchenware. You do not like or need any of it. You
A. Politely refuse, explaining that you have limited storage space.
B. Gratefully accept, and then sell it all at your next garage sale.

5. The restaurant charges an extra $7.95 to add a salad buffet to your steak dinner. You and your husband
A. Both pay the additional charge.
            B. Get just one buffet, and let the other person have a few little tastes.

And I do mean “little.” Otherwise it’s stealing.  This way it’s only stealing a teensky-weensky bit. I once got nailed – unfairly, I thought – for a similar attempt on an airplane.  Benni had heroically offered me all his miles, so I was traveling First Class, and he was stuck in Coach.  His only request was that I bring him a mimosa.

When the steward offered drinks, I felt it would be chintzy to ask for two, so I took only one and brought it back to Hubby.  I was severely chastised by the attendant, who said that it was unfair for my spouse to receive a free drink when the people around him had to pay.  I failed to see the logic of this one, but offered to bring back more drinks for Benni’s seat-mates.  The attendant was not amused.

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