March 11, 2011 – Page 2 of 2

God and tsunamis

Leave a Comment / Uncategorized / Brad A. Greenberg

” title=”devastation in Japan” target=”_blank”>devastation in Japan</a>. The scenes are evocative of the Sumatra tsunami six years ago, though, thankfully, the death toll is currently much, much lower.</p> <p>I live a few blocks from the Pacific Ocean, so the tsunami watch for Southern California caught my attention. But I think that when disasters of this magnitude strike it’s difficult not to think about much bigger issues. Like, why if God is good does <a href="http://www.jewishjournal.com/thegodblog/item/a_world_of_hurt/ <view-source:http://www.jewishjournal.com/thegodblog/item/a_world_of_hurt/>” title=”He let such awful things” target=”_blank”>He let such awful things</a> happen to His people?</p> <p>I wrote a story about this back in 2005. As <a href="http://www.jewishjournal.com/thegodblog/item/god_and_hurricanes_20090827/ <view-source:http://www.jewishjournal.com/thegodblog/item/god_and_hurricanes_20090827/>” title=”I’ve seen fit before” target=”_blank”>I’ve seen fit before</a>, I think it’s relevant to excerpt it again here:</p> <blockquote> <p>A natural disaster is, for many, the ultimate test of faith. For others, it is dramatic validation that either God doesn’t exist or that he is a sadistic supreme being.</p> <p>In the past year, humanity has been rocked by a tsunami-spawning earthquake, two monster hurricanes in the U.S. Gulf Coast and the massive quake in Pakistan. In 2003, Southern Californians fell into their own hell when wildfires raged from Ventura County to eastern San Diego County, including the San Bernardino and San Gabriel mountains.</p> <p>“If there was a God, how come he let all that happen?’ Tom Cotton, 51, of Pinion Hills asked while finishing a burger at a Carl’s Jr. in San Bernardino.</p> <p>“If it’s his plan,’ Cotton said, scanning the restaurant as if he was going to curse, “he’s sure got a messed-up plan.’</p> <p>God only knows what that plan might be.</p> <p>“If God is wiser than we, His judgment must differ from ours on many things, and not least on good and evil,’ C.S. Lewis, the Christian philosopher and children’s author, wrote in “The Problem of Pain.’ “What seems to us good may therefore not be good in His Eyes, and what seems to us to be evil may not be evil.’</p> <p>Lewis begins the book by stating that when he was an atheist, he, too, believed God was either cruel or a farce.</p> <p>“If you ask me to believe that this is the work of a benevolent and omnipotent spirit, I reply that all the evidence points in the opposite direction.’</p> </blockquote> <p>Tsunamis, more than any other “act of God” raise questions about the Genesis story of the flood and God’s first covenant with all of mankind: that he would never flood the entire Earth again. So what to make of such destruction?</p> </div> <p class="ast-blog-single-element ast-read-more-container read-more"> <a class="" href="https://jewishjournal.com/uncategorized/90032/"> <span class="screen-reader-text">God and tsunamis</span> Read More »</a></p> <div class="entry-content clear" itemprop="text" > </div> </div> </div>  </article> <article class="post-90024 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-news ast-grid-common-col ast-full-width ast-article-post" id="post-90024" itemtype="https://schema.org/CreativeWork" itemscope="itemscope"> <div class="ast-post-format- ast-no-thumb blog-layout-1 ast-article-inner"> <div class="post-content ast-grid-common-col" > <div class="ast-blog-featured-section post-thumb ast-blog-single-element"></div><h2 class="entry-title ast-blog-single-element" itemprop="headline"><a href="https://jewishjournal.com/news/90024/" rel="bookmark">Tragedy in Japan Trumps TV’s Funniest Moments</a></h2> <header class="entry-header ast-blog-single-element ast-blog-meta-container"> <div class="entry-meta"> <span class="comments-link"> <a href="https://jewishjournal.com/news/90024/#respond">Leave a Comment</a> </span> / <span class="ast-taxonomy-container cat-links default"><a href="https://jewishjournal.com/category/news/" rel="category tag">News</a></span> / <span class="posted-by vcard author" itemtype="https://schema.org/Person" itemscope="itemscope" itemprop="author"> <a title="View all posts by Misha Henckel" href="https://jewishjournal.com/author/mishah/" rel="author" class="url fn n" itemprop="url" > <span class="author-name" itemprop="name" > Misha Henckel </span> </a> </span> </div> </header> <div class="ast-excerpt-container ast-blog-single-element"> <p>I’ve been immersed in the comedy world these past several weeks, working with one of our top women comics to develop the pilot for a new TV series. Consequently, with my eye on<i> funny</i>, I’d been planning to blog about <i>TVs five funniest moments this week</i>, at least three of which would have been claimed by the irascible Charlie Sheen. </p> <p>But then last night, I sat in front of the telly, gripped by the events playing out in Japan. As the news broke, I immediately called a close friend whose son is spending his junior year at college in Tokyo. He is fine…Thank goodness! But that is not the case for many, many others. </p> <p>It was truly horrifying to watch innocent people, in their cars, their homes, or perhaps simply making their way down the street, taken unawares and swept away in the giant wave of debris. </p> <p>Shocking, devastating, tragic…</p> <p>I cannot write about funny moments this morning. All I can think about is the tragedy playing out in Japan and what we can do to help.</p> <p><i>Your thoughts?</i></p> </div> <p class="ast-blog-single-element ast-read-more-container read-more"> <a class="" href="https://jewishjournal.com/news/90024/"> <span class="screen-reader-text">Tragedy in Japan Trumps TV’s Funniest Moments</span> Read More »</a></p> <div class="entry-content clear" itemprop="text" > </div> </div> </div>  </article> <article class="post-90023 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-united-states tag-john-mccain tag-jonathan-pollard tag-nation tag-netanyahu tag-pollard ast-grid-common-col ast-full-width ast-article-post" id="post-90023" itemtype="https://schema.org/CreativeWork" itemscope="itemscope"> <div class="ast-post-format- ast-no-thumb blog-layout-1 ast-article-inner"> <div class="post-content ast-grid-common-col" > <div class="ast-blog-featured-section post-thumb ast-blog-single-element"></div><h2 class="entry-title ast-blog-single-element" itemprop="headline"><a href="https://jewishjournal.com/news/united-states/90023/" rel="bookmark">McCain joins calls for Pollard release</a></h2> <header class="entry-header ast-blog-single-element ast-blog-meta-container"> <div class="entry-meta"> <span class="comments-link"> <a href="https://jewishjournal.com/news/united-states/90023/#respond">Leave a Comment</a> </span> / <span class="ast-taxonomy-container cat-links default"><a href="https://jewishjournal.com/category/news/united-states/" rel="category tag">United States</a></span> / <span class="posted-by vcard author" itemtype="https://schema.org/Person" itemscope="itemscope" itemprop="author"> <a title="View all posts by Jewish Journal" href="https://jewishjournal.com/author/aanoauthor/" rel="author" class="url fn n" itemprop="url" > <span class="author-name" itemprop="name" > Jewish Journal </span> </a> </span> </div> </header> <div class="ast-excerpt-container ast-blog-single-element"> <p>Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) is urging the release of Jonathan Pollard, the first active Republican politician to do so.</p> <p>McCain, the GOP presidential candidate in 2008, spoke with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s office on Thursday, according to a statement released by Netanyahu’s office and confirmed to JTA by McCain’s office.</p> <p>Activists seeking the release of Pollard, convicted of espionage in 1987 and sentenced to life, have garnered dozens of leading Democrats, both sitting and retired, and Republican former officials in recent months to seek Pollard’s release.</p> <p>Until McCain, however, they had failed to get the endorsement of a sitting Republican – considered critical to establishing broadbased support for clemency.</p> <p>McCain’s voice is also significant, because of his storied career as a Navy pilot. Pollard was a Navy analyst when he was caught.</p> <p>Pollard, who has been incarcerated since his 1985 arrest, is said to be ill.</p> <p>Netanyahu has formerly asked President Obama to grant him clemency; so have 39 Democratic Congress members, led by Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.).</p> </div> <p class="ast-blog-single-element ast-read-more-container read-more"> <a class="" href="https://jewishjournal.com/news/united-states/90023/"> <span class="screen-reader-text">McCain joins calls for Pollard release</span> Read More »</a></p> <div class="entry-content clear" itemprop="text" > </div> </div> </div>  </article> <article class="post-90020 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-japan_crisis category-worldwide tag-earthquake tag-how-to-help tag-huge-quake tag-israaid tag-japan tag-massive tag-quake tag-shake tag-tokyo tag-tsunami ast-grid-common-col ast-full-width ast-article-post" id="post-90020" itemtype="https://schema.org/CreativeWork" itemscope="itemscope"> <div class="ast-post-format- ast-no-thumb blog-layout-1 ast-article-inner"> <div class="post-content ast-grid-common-col" > <div class="ast-blog-featured-section post-thumb ast-blog-single-element"></div><h2 class="entry-title ast-blog-single-element" itemprop="headline"><a href="https://jewishjournal.com/news/worldwide/90020/" rel="bookmark">Jewish groups mobilizing response to massive Japan earthquake and tsunami</a></h2> <header class="entry-header ast-blog-single-element ast-blog-meta-container"> <div class="entry-meta"> <span class="comments-link"> <a href="https://jewishjournal.com/news/worldwide/90020/#respond">Leave a Comment</a> </span> / <span class="ast-taxonomy-container cat-links default"><a href="https://jewishjournal.com/category/news/worldwide/japan_crisis/" rel="category tag">Japan Crisis</a>, <a href="https://jewishjournal.com/category/news/worldwide/" rel="category tag">Worldwide</a></span> / <span class="posted-by vcard author" itemtype="https://schema.org/Person" itemscope="itemscope" itemprop="author"> <a title="View all posts by Jewish Journal" href="https://jewishjournal.com/author/aanoauthor/" rel="author" class="url fn n" itemprop="url" > <span class="author-name" itemprop="name" > Jewish Journal </span> </a> </span> </div> </header> <div class="ast-excerpt-container ast-blog-single-element"> <p><b><a href="http://www.jewishjournal.com/world/article/japan_earthquake_relief_how_you_can_help_20110311/" title="Japan earthquake relief: How you can help" target="_blank">Japan earthquake relief: How you can help</a></b></p> <p>Jewish organizations are mobilizing their responses to the massive earthquake and tsunami that struck Japan on Friday.</p> <p>IsraAid, an Israel-based coordinating organization for 17 Israeli and Jewish humanitarian groups, said Friday that it has two teams of rescue personnel, emergency medical officers and water pollution specialists ready to deploy to Japan but was looking for ways to reach the affected area.</p> <p>Because the airports in the affected area are flooded and Tokyo-area airports closed on Friday, IsraAid said it was exploring the possibility of flying to a nearby country and then trying to make it to northeast Japan, where the tsunami has killed hundreds and devastated cities and towns.</p> <p>“We’re in touch with local groups to check the situation in the area,” Shachar Zahavi, chairman of the group, told JTA in a telephone interview. “We’re trying to get to the closest airport and then get to the affected area from there.”</p> <p>The Chabad-Lubavitch movement reported that its emissary in Tokyo said the Jewish community there largely was spared any serious injury or damage from the 8.9-magnitude quake that rocked the city Friday morning.</p> <p>ZAKA, the Orthodox-led rescue and recovery organization, announced Friday that it would send a search-and-rescue team to Japan as soon as Shabbat in Israel ended on Saturday night.</p> <p>Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said Israel would help in whatever way possible.</p> <p>The Japanese consul in Israel, Mitoshiko Shinomya, told the Israeli news webstie Ynet that he was heartened by the Israeli government’s offer of assistance. “Israel officially offered its help an hour after the earthquake struck,” Shinomya said. “It is very heart-warming, but at this point we do not know exactly what the extent of the damage is, so it is difficult for us to say what can be done.”</p> <p>The Jewish Federations of North America is setting up an emergency relief fund to help those in affected areas, a spokesman said, and the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee, a federation partner, opened a mailbox Friday for donations to be used for Japan/Pacific disaster relief. Donations can be made at https://jdc.org/donation/donate.aspx.</p> <p>“JDC is now conducting an up-to-the-minute assessment of the situation in Japan and the Pacific Rim and has activated its network of partners to determine critical, immediate needs of the hardest-hit areas,” the organization said in a statement Friday.</p> <p>A spokesman for American Jewish World Service, which played a leading Jewish role in responding to the massive 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami that devastated parts of Indonesia, Thailand and Sri Lanka, said it would not be responding to the Japan tsunami because AJWS, which works in the developing world, does not have any partner organizations in Japan.</p> </div> <p class="ast-blog-single-element ast-read-more-container read-more"> <a class="" href="https://jewishjournal.com/news/worldwide/90020/"> <span class="screen-reader-text">Jewish groups mobilizing response to massive Japan earthquake and tsunami</span> Read More »</a></p> <div class="entry-content clear" itemprop="text" > </div> </div> </div>  </article> <article class="post-90019 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-uncategorized ast-grid-common-col ast-full-width ast-article-post" id="post-90019" itemtype="https://schema.org/CreativeWork" itemscope="itemscope"> <div class="ast-post-format- ast-no-thumb blog-layout-1 ast-article-inner"> <div class="post-content ast-grid-common-col" > <div class="ast-blog-featured-section post-thumb ast-blog-single-element"></div><h2 class="entry-title ast-blog-single-element" itemprop="headline"><a href="https://jewishjournal.com/uncategorized/90019/" rel="bookmark">Chicken nuggets vs. my kids school lunches, Oye Vay…</a></h2> <header class="entry-header ast-blog-single-element ast-blog-meta-container"> <div class="entry-meta"> <span class="comments-link"> <a href="https://jewishjournal.com/uncategorized/90019/#respond">Leave a Comment</a> </span> / <span class="ast-taxonomy-container cat-links default"><a href="https://jewishjournal.com/category/uncategorized/" rel="category tag">Uncategorized</a></span> / <span class="posted-by vcard author" itemtype="https://schema.org/Person" itemscope="itemscope" itemprop="author"> <a title="View all posts by Julia Bendis" href="https://jewishjournal.com/author/juliab/" rel="author" class="url fn n" itemprop="url" > <span class="author-name" itemprop="name" > Julia Bendis </span> </a> </span> </div> </header> <div class="ast-excerpt-container ast-blog-single-element"> <p>Today my 11-year-old son, Tyler shared a very interesting conversation that he had with his classmates.  It started during lunch time when he pulled out a peanut butter with bananas, and honey sandwich on whole grain bread.  After Tyler was done with it, he pulled out carrots, apples, and a low-fat yogurt.  Do you see where I am going with this yet?</p> <p>As he finished devouring my creation, he looked up and saw his friends watching him.  One of his friends wanted to know why I am always packing him such healthy lunches, and I quote: “There are never any cookies or chips or anything in your lunch!”  Tyler’s reaction was simple: “Because she loves me, and I will always be healthy.”  I was beyond thrilled to hear his response, and it validated every ounce of guilt I have had by not allowing junk food in the house.  Yes, I admit I actually have felt guilty for not buying my kids chips, sodas and other junk food items.  But today I got over it…</p> <p>Its not to say that when we go out for dinner, my boys don’t get to have a soda or chicken nuggets.  Of course they do, but at home we limit the amount of processed and sugary foods.  The way I look at it is this, my brother and I grew up with nothing but meat and potatoes, and an occasional apple that we picked from a tree on our way to Grandma’s house, only to find a worm in it when bitten, spit out the worm and keep eating.  We didn’t have chocolate chip cookies or Frito-Lay chips after school, we had stale bread with some jam on it, home-made by my grandparents the summer before.  Sure there was some mold on the bread, but you pick it out, throw it away and eat the rest of your delicious treat.</p> <p>Furthermore, not only did we not know about junk food, we also didn’t put ice in every drink.  One of the great memories I have is walking to a nearby store with my brother to buy Coca-Cola, one of those old-fashioned glass bottles that you just don’t see anymore.  There was only one store that carried them, and once in a while my parents would leave some change to treat ourselves to a bottle.  I clearly remember a clerk handing us each a warm bottle of Coca-Cola, and we gulped them down on the spot.  It was such a rare treat for us, which is what made it so extraordinary.  Sure it would have tasted a little better if it was colder or had ice in it, but we didn’t know any better. </p> <p>My point here is that if you don’t buy junk food, your kid won’t be overweight.  The whole country is fighting with childhood obesity, parents not knowing what to do with their fat-ass children, but yet they keep buying all the greasy foods their kids want, sending them to school with sodas and chips in their lunches, and then wondering why the hell their kid is fat.  How about buying less junk food, going outside with your child and playing ball?  How about you stop blaming the schools for their fatty school lunches, and get off your lazy ass to make a healthy one? </p> <p>In the meantime, my kids seem like aliens with their humus and whole wheat crackers lunches.  But you know what?  I am alright with that because they are alright with that.</p> <p> </p> </div> <p class="ast-blog-single-element ast-read-more-container read-more"> <a class="" href="https://jewishjournal.com/uncategorized/90019/"> <span class="screen-reader-text">Chicken nuggets vs. my kids school lunches, Oye Vay…</span> Read More »</a></p> <div class="entry-content clear" itemprop="text" > </div> </div> </div>  </article> <article class="post-90017 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-uncategorized ast-grid-common-col ast-full-width ast-article-post" id="post-90017" itemtype="https://schema.org/CreativeWork" itemscope="itemscope"> <div class="ast-post-format- ast-no-thumb blog-layout-1 ast-article-inner"> <div class="post-content ast-grid-common-col" > <div class="ast-blog-featured-section post-thumb ast-blog-single-element"></div><h2 class="entry-title ast-blog-single-element" itemprop="headline"><a href="https://jewishjournal.com/uncategorized/90017/" rel="bookmark">The Machlis Experience: Learning the True Meaning of Hospitality</a></h2> <header class="entry-header ast-blog-single-element ast-blog-meta-container"> <div class="entry-meta"> <span class="comments-link"> <a href="https://jewishjournal.com/uncategorized/90017/#respond">Leave a Comment</a> </span> / <span class="ast-taxonomy-container cat-links default"><a href="https://jewishjournal.com/category/uncategorized/" rel="category tag">Uncategorized</a></span> / <span class="posted-by vcard author" itemtype="https://schema.org/Person" itemscope="itemscope" itemprop="author"> <a title="View all posts by Masa Israel Journey" href="https://jewishjournal.com/author/masaisrael/" rel="author" class="url fn n" itemprop="url" > <span class="author-name" itemprop="name" > Masa Israel Journey </span> </a> </span> </div> </header> <div class="ast-excerpt-container ast-blog-single-element"> <p>by Gabriella Davidson, alumna of Masa Israel’s Bar Ilan Israel Experience</p> <p>It was a Friday night and I was sitting in a home in Jerusalem surrounded by over two hundred different kinds of people.  There were seminary girls, Asian men, hippies, black hatters, Christians, Israelis, non-practicing Jews, poor and wealthy, yet I have never before felt more united with a group of strangers. </p> <p>At the time, I was studying abroad at Bar Ilan University.  During the week, I engaged in studies right outside Tel Aviv and over the weekend, I liked to spend Shabbat traveling to different communities throughout country.  Other international students shared the names of excellent host families, and people consistently mentioned Rabbi Mordechai and Henny Machlis, who opened up their home to complete strangers for Shabbat meals at no cost.  Apparently, there was nothing like the “Machlis Experience.”  So one Friday night, I finally decided to experience it for myself and my friend and I made our way to 137/26 Maalot Dafna, Jerusalem.</p> <p>It was the Friday night before Pesach, one of the busiest Shabbats of the year in Israel when we arrived at a modest apartment jam packed with guests.  Not only were the guests seated against the sefarim (Jewish books)-lined walls, but they were even spilling out onto the doorstep. We were debating whether or not to leave, when suddenly a woman greeted us excitedly. “Shabbat shalom!” she said, kindly leading us through an obstacle course to their tiny kitchen where chairs and a table were set for us. </p> <p>It took me a few moments to process the beautiful sight taking place before our eyes. As the diverse group of guests patiently engaged in conversations, while waiting for the meal to start, the Machlis children joyously set dishes on each table. Not only did they serve a delicious three-course meal, but they also made sure to welcome and talk to each of their guests, showing a genuine interest in their lives.  </p> <p>At one point during dinner, while the hot soup was being served, all of the lights went out.  Sitting in a pitch-black room with complete strangers, I expected people to experience a state of panic. Instead, numerous non-Jews exclaimed that they were gentiles and would be happy to turn the lights back on. Mrs. Machlis smiled at her girls and told her guests that they were G-d sent.  </p> <p>Seated in the kitchen was like having a backstage pass to the “Machlis Experience” and my friend and I decided to take advantage of our VIP seating. We learned that Rabbi and Mrs. Machlis began hosting people for Shabbat when they first got married and gradually it turned into what it has become today. For 30 years, they have hosted these meals every Shabbat, with the exception of two Shabbats out of the year. I was astonished, considering the fact that they have been blessed with 14 children. </p> <p>“Did you take a couple of months off after each child was born?” I asked.  </p> <p>Mrs. Machlis looked at me in surprise. “Why would we need to take a break? I would be with my baby for the first two Shabbats in my room…and then I’d come back out!” I felt so inspired by her continued devotion to these acts of altruism.  </p> <p>Not only was Mrs. Machlis an excellent cook, but she was an inspiring speaker as well.  In the middle of the meal, she announced that because her husband was out of town, she would share words of Torah with everyone.  She delivered a beautiful speech filled with words to which all of her guests could relate. </p> <p>At the end of the night, my friend and I thanked the Machlis family and started walking back to my friend’s dorm, completely speechless for the first ten minutes. As cheesy as it may sound, I truly believe that G-d sent the Machlis family into this world to engage in tikkun olam, repairing the world and touching the lives of complete strangers. EVERYONE is welcomed into their home, regardless of their race, religion, or social status. In our society, it is typical that when you invite a family over for a Shabbat meal, they will likely reciprocate.  However, the Machlis family is the exception: they endlessly give and expect nothing in return.  </p> <p>All my life I have learned about the great mitzvot of hachnassat orachim (hospitality) and tikkun olam, as seen through Avraham.  I was lucky enough to witness them firsthand in the Machlis’s home. </p> </div> <p class="ast-blog-single-element ast-read-more-container read-more"> <a class="" href="https://jewishjournal.com/uncategorized/90017/"> <span class="screen-reader-text">The Machlis Experience: Learning the True Meaning of Hospitality</span> Read More »</a></p> <div class="entry-content clear" itemprop="text" > </div> </div> </div>  </article> <article class="post-90014 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-news ast-grid-common-col ast-full-width ast-article-post" id="post-90014" itemtype="https://schema.org/CreativeWork" itemscope="itemscope"> <div class="ast-post-format- ast-no-thumb blog-layout-1 ast-article-inner"> <div class="post-content ast-grid-common-col" > <div class="ast-blog-featured-section post-thumb ast-blog-single-element"></div><h2 class="entry-title ast-blog-single-element" itemprop="headline"><a href="https://jewishjournal.com/news/90014/" rel="bookmark">Grown-up Proms</a></h2> <header class="entry-header ast-blog-single-element ast-blog-meta-container"> <div class="entry-meta"> <span class="comments-link"> <a href="https://jewishjournal.com/news/90014/#respond">Leave a Comment</a> </span> / <span class="ast-taxonomy-container cat-links default"><a href="https://jewishjournal.com/category/news/" rel="category tag">News</a></span> / <span class="posted-by vcard author" itemtype="https://schema.org/Person" itemscope="itemscope" itemprop="author"> <a title="View all posts by Tamara Shayne Kagel" href="https://jewishjournal.com/author/tamarak/" rel="author" class="url fn n" itemprop="url" > <span class="author-name" itemprop="name" > Tamara Shayne Kagel </span> </a> </span> </div> </header> <div class="ast-excerpt-container ast-blog-single-element"> <p>This Saturday night, I was at a fundraising dinner at the Beverly Hilton for my graduate school.  As a screenwriter who writes often about teenagers, you should trust me when I tell you just about every movie about teenagers culminates with a prom.  Prom is a big deal in high school partly because you’re told that this is the one chance to go to your prom and you’re not supposed to miss it. This is one of the huge lies adults tell teenagers and we’re just naive enough at the time to buy into it.  If you’re a social person, especially in the middle-upper class world of college-educated professionals, you’re going to be going to proms the rest of your life.</p> <p>Nobody told me in high school that two years later in college, I’d be getting bussed to my sorority formals at some fancy hotel downtown in a poofy dress.  If you were lucky, you got asked to the fraternity formals of a Delt or Lodge kid.  If you were socially rejected by the Greek system, you could always go to your dorm formals. Then there are grad school formals – barrister’s ball or law school proms or business school dinners.  There are fundraisers where your company has purchased a table, there are fundraisers where you get set up on dates. Then there are alumni formals and bar association dinners and military dinners.</p> <p>You get my point. I’ve been doing these for a while now and really they’re pretty much the same as high school prom – minus the breathalyzer test we had to take to get into my prom (gotta love rich suburbs).  Mostly everyone looks nice and holds their liquor or drug of choice.  But the most exciting and memorable parts of the evening comes from the people who don’t.  </p> <p>But in addition to seeing whose dress will be shorter than mine and what girl has just discovered Long Islands, I love watching the coupling off that always occurs at these things. There’s a predictable social choreography that is unfolding at every one of these events.  Here’s essentially who is usually attending these things:</p> <p><u></p> <p>Three-legged Couples</p> <p></u></p> <p>These are to be distinguished from the majority of couples who by and large are delightful to be with. Three-legged couples are obsessed with being a couple – they do everything together and the whole evening is about how into each other they both are.  They act like they are physically attached, going to the bar together and insisting that they never engage in separate conversations. We’re all a little guilty of this right at that part of a relationship when you’re falling in love with someone. But for the most part, these couples are just annoying and often rude. My best advice is to stay away from them. They can be unusually hard to get away from because once they found someone who will converse with both of them, they’ll try to keep you all night so they don’t have to pretend to care about finding someone else to talk to.</p> <p><u></p> <p>Goal-getters</p> <p></u></p> <p>There’s a girl that you’ve thought was the prettiest in your class all year or since you started at this job. You’ve never really hung out outside of the office or school though, so finally you get to be around her with alcohol in the evening. These goal-getters have one person they want to hook up with and making a connection with her is his one and only goal. I love watching these guys operate because it’s like watching a hunter pursue its prey but I hate being someone’s goal. The problem is if you’re not into him, you realize you essentially have a sidekick all evening because the guy is following you around everywhere and joining every conversation you strike up. A girlfriend of mine last Saturday couldn’t wait to hook up with this German exchange and was hoping he’d be at our dinner. He was and so she knew where he was and whom he was talking to at all times. When they weren’t together she was trying to figure out how to get back over and talk to him. The good thing about these guys is that sometimes the goal can be accomplished without ever hooking up. If the two of you end up in a great conversation for hours but part at the end of the evening, it’s a great basis to continue a relationship from.</p> <p><u></p> <p>Prowlers</p> <p></u></p> <p>Prowlers are like walking male libidos (even the plentiful female prowlers too).  Prowlers want to hook up with someone – anyone. They have one goal which is not going home alone. So they are pretty much just looking for opportunities and usually drinking heavily to get up the courage to be a prowler. There are some men and women who are like this all the time but the trouble comes with the dayplayers – the people who don’t usually hook up like this but put them in a suit or a cocktail dress and suddenly they’re ready to rumble. The good thing about these guys is that you can get rid of them fairly easily. If you make any excuse to get away from them during the conversation, this is usually a sign that you’re not interested.<br />     (It’s amazing how subtle some of these signs can be but it’s true. If you let one guy monopolize your time, as in you spend the entire evening talking with him and you never try to leave or talk with other people, you’re definitely sending out some vibes. So be wary – I once thought I was just grossed in one of the best debates I had ever had arguing strenuously with someone who thought that Nikola Tesla was more responsible for discovering electricity than Thomas Edison. Two hours into the debate, the boy thinks he’s taking me home. I was in a relationship at the time and rather shocked I had given him the wrong idea. But my point is, giving someone all your time at these sorts of things can be misconstrued.)</p> <p><u>Flirting Consummators</u></p> <p>You’ve been flirting with him for months. You’ve been out with groups together and you’ve spent a lot of time at work on the same projects. You’re shocked by how much the two of you get along. You know he’s going to the dinner and he asked if you were but you’re just not sure if it’s going to be another great time with a friend or if it might turn into something. Flirting consummators are the most satisfying coupling off because the relationship has been building for a while.<br /> Although, this blew up in my face once.  I’m a bit of a flirtatious person by nature – less in the sultry sexpot kind of way and more in the Bill Clinton kind of working a room way – or at least I tell myself so. Two years ago at this same dinner, I found myself in this situation. So Ian showed up late to the dinner and I saw him but I was having fun talking with a whole slew of people I don’t normally talk to. Plus, I tend to revert to playground rules: to keep a boy interested flirt with as many other boys as possible in front of him (I strongly do not recommend this).  So by the time the dance floor was out and people were grooving with the Dj, I had barely talked to Ian. I’ll never forget, I saw him look like he might be leaving and chased after him on the balcony overlooking the pool asking him where he was going. He said he was leaving. I pouted and asked him not to. He said he had come mainly to talk to me and hang out with me but he wasn’t having fun and now he just wanted to leave. I think we ended up going out on our first date the following week so it ended up ok but I really regretted my behavior that night. </p> <p><u>The Surprises</u></p> <p>These are my favorite hook-ups to watch for. These are the couplings no one can plan for. Usually, both parties are drunk and random circumstances have pushed these two fated people together – usually because friends have ditched them or they were too drunk to follow their friends or they were just completely lost. I can’t say, I’ve ever really been a party to this, but I know some people who have ended up in long-term relationships from these sorts of events.</p> <p> PS – Male/Female roles in the above blatantly stereotypical overgeneralizations are interchangeable.</p> <p> <i>Tamara Shayne Kagel is a writer living in Santa Monica, CA. To find out more about her, visit <a href="http://www.tamarashaynekagel.com/Tamara_Shayne_Kagel/Home.html <view-source:http://www.tamarashaynekagel.com/Tamara_Shayne_Kagel/Home.html>” title=”www.tamarashaynekagel.com” target=”_blank”>www.tamarashaynekagel.com</a> and follow her on twitter <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/TamaraSKagel <view-source:http://twitter.com/#!/TamaraSKagel>” title=”@tamaraskagel” target=”_blank”>@tamaraskagel</a>. © Copyright 2011.</i></p> </div> <p class="ast-blog-single-element ast-read-more-container read-more"> <a class="" href="https://jewishjournal.com/news/90014/"> <span class="screen-reader-text">Grown-up Proms</span> Read More »</a></p> <div class="entry-content clear" itemprop="text" > </div> </div> </div>  </article> <article class="post-90013 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-united-states ast-grid-common-col ast-full-width ast-article-post" id="post-90013" itemtype="https://schema.org/CreativeWork" itemscope="itemscope"> <div class="ast-post-format- ast-no-thumb blog-layout-1 ast-article-inner"> <div class="post-content ast-grid-common-col" > <div class="ast-blog-featured-section post-thumb ast-blog-single-element"></div><h2 class="entry-title ast-blog-single-element" itemprop="headline"><a href="https://jewishjournal.com/news/united-states/90013/" rel="bookmark">Oy Gay Bloggers Unite To Create An Artist Initiative</a></h2> <header class="entry-header ast-blog-single-element ast-blog-meta-container"> <div class="entry-meta"> <span class="comments-link"> <a href="https://jewishjournal.com/news/united-states/90013/#respond">Leave a Comment</a> </span> / <span class="ast-taxonomy-container cat-links default"><a href="https://jewishjournal.com/category/news/united-states/" rel="category tag">United States</a></span> / <span class="posted-by vcard author" itemtype="https://schema.org/Person" itemscope="itemscope" itemprop="author"> <a title="View all posts by Tera Greene" href="https://jewishjournal.com/author/terag/" rel="author" class="url fn n" itemprop="url" > <span class="author-name" itemprop="name" > Tera Greene </span> </a> </span> </div> </header> <div class="ast-excerpt-container ast-blog-single-element"> <p>Hey all!</p> <p>As many of you may know, there’s a contest going on to find – and fund – the Next Big Jewish Idea (<a href="http://www.thenextbigjewishidea.com <view-source:http://www.thenextbigjewishidea.com/>” title=”The Next Big Jewish Idea” target=”_blank”>http://www.thenextbigjewishidea.com</a>) and fellow bloggers Kalil Cohen, Kadin Henningsen and myself have entered! There are so many great ideas, so we encourage you to view them all… and while you are at it, please also take a second to click the link below and vote for our idea, ‘GenToGen’:  </p> <p><a href="http://www.thenextbigjewishidea.com/ideas/entry/gentogen <view-source:http://www.thenextbigjewishidea.com/ideas/entry/gentogen>” title=”NBJI – GenToGen” target=”_blank”>http://www.thenextbigjewishidea.com/ideas/entry/gentogen</a></p> <p><b>Voting ends March 31st.  Please vote and tell 5 others to do the same!</b></p> <p><u>About our Idea (in a nutshell):</u></p> <p><i><b>GenToGen</b> is a pluralistic and dynamic Artist initiative that provides the next generation of Jewish Artists and their peers with a way to make better their world through implementing systems to build community in both virtual and actual life. In order to create a paradigm that is sustainable, cooperative, easily duplicated and able to run, support and nurture a more permanent long-term Artist Communal Living Gathering, GenToGen’s focus is on gluing old and new ideals together alongside the strategic engagement of every generation via the Arts. </p> <p><b>Through</b> new and enterprising social media platforms, a live-performance/open-mic series, and two signature outreach and in-reach programs, namely the Veggie Bus Program and the GenToGen Mentorship Network, respectively, GenToGen is THE premiere Hub for Artists who understand the power and reach of the online global community as well as the importance of reaching out, and being reached out to, within their local community.  Whether you are a writer, painter, singer-songwriter, rapper, composer, educator, activist, you name it,  GenToGen is a vehicle for those dynamic and progressive individuals who approach life through a lens of the Arts and whom passionately feel that Art can – and will -repair the World. </i></p> <p> Please make sure to join our FanPage with a ‘Like’ to stay up to date on how you can be involved: <a href="http://ow.ly/466f9 <view-source:http://ow.ly/466f9>” title=”Facebook Fan Page – GenToGen” target=”_blank”>http://ow.ly/466f9</a>.  </p> <p>Thank you for taking the time to read about our project!</p> <p>Sincerely,<br /> Kalil, Tera and Kadin</p> <p><a href="http://gentogen.podomatic.com <view-source:http://gentogen.podomatic.com/>” title=”The GenToGen Podcast” target=”_blank”>gentogen.podomatic.com</a> | <a href="http://twitter.com/gentogenla <view-source:http://twitter.com/gentogenla>” title=”Twitter – GenToGenLA” target=”_blank”>twitter.com/gentogenla</a> | <a href="http://gentogenblog.wordpress.com <view-source:http://gentogenblog.wordpress.com/>” title=”Wordpress – GenToGen Blog” target=”_blank”>gentogenblog.wordpress.com</a> | <a href="http://youtube.com/gentogentube <view-source:http://youtube.com/gentogentube>” title=”Youtube – GenToGenTube” target=”_blank”>youtube.com/gentogentube</a></p> </div> <p class="ast-blog-single-element ast-read-more-container read-more"> <a class="" href="https://jewishjournal.com/news/united-states/90013/"> <span class="screen-reader-text">Oy Gay Bloggers Unite To Create An Artist Initiative</span> Read More »</a></p> <div class="entry-content clear" itemprop="text" > </div> </div> </div>  </article> </div> </main> <div class='ast-pagination'> <nav class="navigation pagination" aria-label="Post pagination"> <span class="screen-reader-text">Post pagination</span> <div class="nav-links"><a class="prev page-numbers" href="https://jewishjournal.com/date/2011/03/11/"><span class="ast-left-arrow">←</span> Previous</a> <a class="page-numbers" href="https://jewishjournal.com/date/2011/03/11/">1</a> <span aria-current="page" class="page-numbers current">2</span></div> </nav></div> </div> </div>  </div> <footer data-elementor-type="footer" data-elementor-id="354962" 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