January 5, 2010

An actress has many ” title=”DANCES WITH WOLVES…. AND OTHER BEASTs”>Prince Charming yells, and before I can react, he grabs me by the waist. Then he turns to the bouncer and tells him, confidently, “She’s with me. Right, doll?”

“Oh,” I say, discretely returning my pepper spray into my pocket. “Sure.”

2010, here I come! I think to myself as the bouncer parts the sea in front of us, allowing my Gallant Knight and I to enter the club. This is my lucky night! If only I’d known that I wasn’t the only one getting through the barricade. ” title=”FROM HOLLYWOOD TO TEL AVIV… TOPLESS?”>“helpful hands”.

Okay, no big deal, I think logically. I’ll just make a couple of phone calls to cancel the credit cards. But of course, as I step out of the club to make the call, ” title=”GET RICH QUICK — THE DOCTOR DOLITTLE WAY”>200 shekel bill into my pocket for the cab-fare home.

During the next twenty minutes I learn there’s no such thing as a vacant taxi on Sylvester, so I prepare for the mile and a half walk home – in ” title=”OLD YEAR’S RESOLUTION FOR 2010″>surprised in 2010.

The teller, noticing I have exactly 8 shekels in small change, gasps excitedly and says: “Wow! This must be your lucky day!” She leans over and smiles knowingly: “You’d better go fill out a lottery form this instant!”

“I would,” I answer. “Except that I just gave you my last shekels.” 

I grab my drink as Murphy and I make our way back home to scrub some shit out of my shoes. We’ve got a date to prepare for, with a guy who makes me want to throw away my pepper spray.

Not that I will. I don’t trust Murphy. Or the universe.

As far as I’m concerned, I wear my poker face from here on in!

Follow ” title=”Follow HOLLYWOOD EAST on Twitter! (TiferetP)”>Twitter!

Illustrious film critic Roger Ebert has weighed in with his top ten films of the decade and an unlikely contender has made his list: Werner Herzog’s “The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans,” the first produced feature from newcomer brothers Alan and Gabe Polsky, who just so happen to hail from Ebert’s hometown of Chicago.

While the film received a healthy mix of criticism when released (David Denby of The New Yorker wrote, “The film is a mess, but it’s certainly not dull”), Ebert was unsparing in his praise and awarded the film four stars. Not a bad commendation for Hollywood’s hottest amateurs—who also graced our cover last December as “The Next Moguls”—question mark.

Last week, Ebert named ‘Bad Lieutenant’ one of the best films of the decade, among an eminent list of films that includes, Jason Reitman’s “Juno,” Charlize Theron’s Oscar-turn in “Monster,” Spike Lee’s post 9/11 pic “The 25th Hour” and one of this year’s top Oscar contenders, “The Hurt Locker.”

The Polskys ‘Bad Lieutenant’ is a wild, chaotic adventure that features the best Nicolas Cage performance since “Leaving Las Vegas” (and we all know how badly he needed a hit). But is it tops of the decade? We may have to chalk that one up to a bit of fatherly pride.

Read my profile of Alan and Gabe Polsky:

Two weeks before the theatrical release last month of their first feature film, “The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans,” producers Alan and Gabe Polsky threw themselves a coming-out ball.

As newcomers in Hollywood, the Polsky brothers sought a venue that would send all the right messages to all the right people: Bungalow One at the storied Chateau Marmont, the legendary hotel steeped in Hollywood history and glamour, where they could earn cachet simply by being seen there.

More on The Polskys