December 21, 2000

I Wish It Were More

Leave a Comment / Womans Voice / Marlene Adler Marks

I am a lousy gift-giver. I’m bad enough on birthdays, when gift-giving makes me so nervous that my gifts never arrive on time. But I’m absolutely awful in December, when I feel so pressured by Chanukah expectations that I buy gift after gift for three of the people on my list, inadvertently leaving out everyone else. Maybe it’s a new kind of learning disability, Adverse Gift Disorder. But I mean well, I do.
It’s not that I don’t like gift-giving — or getting; it’s that I’m best when I’m spontaneous. I’ll pay for your dinner if the spirit moves me or buy you the perfect eyebrow brush because it’s just what you need. But gifts on demand … no, I never do it right.

As a single mom, all of my gift-giving idiosyncrasies are raised to new heights. Either I’m overcompensating for the father who isn’t there, being wildly extravagant, or I refuse to overcompensate for the father who isn’t there, giving nothing until my daughter suggests that a winter coat is what she needs. Even after all this time, time is out of joint.

My married friends don’t have it any easier, frankly. How could it be otherwise? Children read presents like Alan Greenspan reads the markets. They read a robust economy in Playstations or computers and a coming depression in a gift certificate from Blockbuster.

That’s why gift-giving is as difficult to manipulate as the interest rate and why a fixed financial position can best protect the most generous heart. All of which makes me think of my grandfather, who was, in this one regard, surely Greenspan’s equal.

His solution to the gift-giving dilemma was simple: Grandpa gave me the identical gift, year after year, season after season. Whatever the special occasion, in good times or in bad, he’d hand me a check for $25, written in pen in his shaky, arthritic handwriting. Then he’d say immediately, “I wish it were more.”

Of course, $25 meant a lot to me when I was 8, but after I rubbed his stubbled cheek, I found his apology disconcerting.

“What’s wrong with Grandpa? Why does he wish it were more?” I asked my father, as if this was the last gift from him I’d ever receive. But it was just the first float in a long parade.

When I was 10, the check was still $25. With it, I could buy all the magazines I’d ever want, a year of milkshakes after Hebrew school, or a pair of shoes with small heels. “I wish it were more,” Grandpa said. But I didn’t hear him, thinking that my new shoes should have ankle straps.

When I was 15, the check was once again $25. We had entered the era of limits.

“I wish it were more,” he said. My friends had wealthier grandparents, and I knew what $25 meant by then. I’d imagine his bank account and consider that Grandpa had somehow totaled up all his grandchildren and divided it by the sum he had available and came up with $25 no matter what. He seemed a lot shorter by then.

But when Grandpa went home, I had time to consider. The check and the apology were one package by now — the check symbolizing constant familial love, the apology indicating that such love could never be counted or measured.

And, over time, I came to think that he was right. A gift from Grandpa, after all, was not just a gift, but a statement, a mandate, about the nature of life and what could be expected from it, a drumbeat of urgency telling me to get on and discover what life had in store: I wish it were more. I wish it were more. I wish it were more.

Soon I’d stop thinking about the money altogether, even forgetting to cash the check. And I understood why he apologized. For if he fulfilled every one of my dreams now, what is there left for tomorrow?

One year, my brother and I didn’t go to Brooklyn to visit him, and the check came via mail: $25. “I wish it were more,” he said, when I called to thank him. I felt embarrassed and ungrateful, for I had given him nothing in return, not even the pleasure of my company.

So the point of the gift is not the giving or the receiving; it’s the pleasure of the company. There can never be enough time together. There can never be love fully expressed. Whatever I give or receive, I always wish it were more.

I Wish It Were More Read More »

Calendar

Leave a Comment / What's Happening / Mike Levy

23/Saturday

Temple Emanuel: 10 a.m. Meditative Shabbat service followed by a potluck
dairy/vegitarian lunch. 8844 Burton Way, Beverly Hills. For more information,
call (310) 274-6388.

Congregation N’vay Shalom: 10 a.m. Minyan and Torah study with potluck
dairy lunch at the rabbi’s home. For directions or more information, call
(323) 463-7728.

Los Angeles Yiddish Culture Club: 7:30 p.m. Chanukah program of Yiddish
songs featuring Cindy Paley. Free (members); $4 (guests). 8339 W. Third
St., Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 655-1341.

Beit Hamidrash Synagogue and West Valley Hebrew Academy: 7 p.m. Comedy
Night and benefit auction featuring Gary Owens and singing group The Platters,
with special guest Percy Sledge. $25. Warner Center Marriott Hotel, Woodland
Hills. For reservations or more information, call (818) 712-0365.

24/Sunday

Congregation Mishkon Tephilo: 4 p.m.-9:30 p.m. Cafe Latke Chanukah celebration,
with games, food, menorah lighting and musical entertainment by RebbeSoul.
$12 (members); $18 (nonmembers). 206 Main St., Venice. For reservations
or more information, call (310) 392-3029.

Congregation Shaarei Torah: 5:30 p.m. Family Chanukah dinner and candlelighting.
$15 (adults); $10 (children ages 6-12); free (children 5 and under). 550
S. Second Ave., Arcadia. For more information, call (626) 445-0810.

Chabad of Mt. Olympus: 4 p.m.-6 p.m. “Chanukah Extravaganza,” with live
entertainment, hypnotist, olive press demonstration, food and more. $5.
Franklin Canyon Park Auditorium. For more information, call (323) 650-1444.

Chabad of Greater Los Feliz: 1 p.m.-5 p.m. Chanukah celebration and
dedication of the new Chabad center, with rides for children and music
by D.J. Abehsera. 1727 N. Vermont Ave. No.107, Los Angeles. For more information,
call (323) 660-5177.

Chabad of the Conejo: 11 a.m.-4:30 p.m. “The Chanukah Wonderland,” with
game booths, pony rides, petting zoo, jugglers, music and kosher food stands.
Conejo Creek Park. For more information, call (818) 991-0991.

Chabad of South Bay and Chabad of Palos Verdes: 3 p.m.-5 p.m. “Chanukah
on Ice” event includes skating, face-painting, and Chanukah treats. $6.
Skating Edge, 23770 Western Ave., Harbor City. For more information, call
(310) 326-8234.

Congregation Adat Israel: 4:30 p.m. Chanukah party with dinner, special
entertainment and games for children. 5052 Warner Ave., Huntington Beach.
For more information, call (714) 846-2285.

Temple Etz Chaim: 4 p.m.-5:30p.m.Â Chanukah celebration with the
temple youth choir Shir Magic, and family entertainment by Diana Shmiana.
1080 Janss Road, Thousand Oaks. For more information, call (805) 497-6891.

Temple Beth Shalom: 6 p.m. Chanukah dinner and celebration. $7.50 (adults);
$5 (children). 3635 Elm Ave., Long Beach. For reservations or more information,
call (562) 426-6413.

B’nai Tikvah Congregation: 7 p.m. Bunco party. $7 (adults); $3 (children).
5820 W. Manchester Ave., Westchester. For more information, call (310)
645-6262.

Westside JCC: 8 p.m.-midnight. Israeli folk dancing with David Dassa.
$4 (members); $5 (nonmembers). 5870 W. Olympic Blvd., Los Angeles. For
more information, call (323) 938-2531 ext. 2225.

Jews for Judaism: 10 a.m. “Chanukah, computers, college, your children
and Christian missionaries,” lectures by Rabbi Bentzion Kravitz and Rabbi
Aaron Parry. Yavneh Hebrew Academy, 5353 W. Third St., Los Angeles. For
more information, call (310) 854-2281.

Westwood Women’s Tehillim Group: 8:45 p.m. Monthly meeting. For location
or more information, call (310) 470-3516.

Temple Beth Torah: 9 a.m. “Yule at the Shul,” pancake breakfast and
bingo fundraiser. 7620 Foothill Road, Ventura. For more information, call
(805) 647-4181.

25/Monday

Temple Israel of Hollywood: 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Holiday dinner for the hungry
and homeless of Hollywood, at Hollywood United Methodist Church, 6817 Franklin
Blvd. To donate or volunteer, call (323) 937-5275. For more information,
call (323) 876-8330.

Jewish Family Service of Orange County: 10 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Weekly issues-oriented
discussion group. 250 E. Baker St., Suite G, Costa Mesa. For more information,
call (714) 445-4950.

Congregation Mishkon Tephilo: 7 p.m.-9 p.m. Prayerbook Hebrew class.
206 Main St., Venice. For more information, call (310) 392-3029.

Yeshiva of Los Angeles: 9 p.m.-10 p.m. Mishna Sukka for beginners with
Rabbi Rafael Stefansky, men only. Beit Midrash, 9780 Pico Blvd., Los Angeles.
For more information, call (310) 229-0958.

West Valley JCC: 10 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Torah study group. 12:30 p.m.-2
p.m. Yiddish music and conversation class. Each class, free (members);
$4 (nonmembers). 22622 Vanowen St., West Hills. For more information, call
(818) 464-3300.

Robertson Recreation Center: 10 a.m. – 11:30 a.m. International and
Israeli folk dance class with Tikva Mason. 1641 Preuss Road.Â For
more information call (310) 278-5383.

North Valley JCC: 9 a.m. Beginning bridge class. 10 a.m. Pan classes.
11 a.m. Senior friendship club with lunch followed by entertainment. 16601
Rinaldi St., Granada Hills. For more information, call (818) 360-2211.

26/Tuesday

The Knitting Factory: Jewish Music Festival begins today, featuring
the Hollywood Klezmers, Joshua Natural Sound and more. Six shows, through
Dec. 29. $25 Festival pass for all shows. 7021 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood.
For more information, call (323) 463-0204.

The Kabbalah Centre: 7 p.m. Lecture on the power of kabbalah every
Tuesday and Thursday. 1062 S. Robertson Blvd. For reservations or more
information, call (310) 657-5404 ext. 1017.

Shomrei Torah Synagogue: 8 p.m.Â Talmud class with Cheryl Peretz,
focusing on obligations of parents and children. 7353 Valley Circle Blvd.,
West Hills. For more information, call (818) 346-0811.

27/Wednesday

Chabad of Simi Valley: 7 p.m. Chanukah festival with a clown show, live
music and latkes. Mountaingate Plaza Shopping Center, Simi Valley. 8 p.m.
Chabad Women’s Group hosts a Chanukah party with comedy and musical entertainment.
Conejo Jewish Academy, 30345 Canwood St., Agoura Hills. For more information,
call (818) 991-0991.

Calabasas Shul: 7 p.m. Chanukah concert featuring Shlock Rock, with
a children’s choir presentation and fireworks, at the Calabasas Commons.
For more information, call (818) 591- 7485.

Democrats for Israel, L.A.: 7 p.m.-9 p.m. Chanukah party. Eilon Shahar,
Israeli Consul for Communications and Public Affairs, will give an update
on Israel. Workman’s Circle, 1525 S. Robertson Blvd., Los Angeles. For
reservations or more information, call (310) 285-8542.

Yeshiva of Los Angeles: 8:15 p.m.-9:15 p.m. “Laws of Blessings,” class
for women with Rabbi Rafael Stefansky. Mogen David Congregation, 9717 W.
Pico Blvd., Los Angeles. For more information, call (310) 229-0958.

Zimmer Discovery Children’s Museum: 1 p.m.-3 p.m. Craft project, designing
and creating dreidle boards. Class also offered on Thurs., Dec. 28. $6.
6505 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles. For reservations, call (323) 761-8991.

28/Thursday

Valley Beth Israel: 7 p.m. Chanukah candlelighting event, featuringÂ
musical performances by Cantor Mark Goodman and the children’s choir of
Congregation Beth Emet of Burbank. 13060 Roscoe Blvd., Sun Valley. For
more information, call (818) 782-2281.

29/Friday

West Valley JCC: 1 p.m.-2:30 p.m. Likrat Shabbat, discussion and refreshments
with Rabbi Tsafreer Lev. 22622 Vanowen St., West Hills. For more information,
call (818) 464-3300.

Temple Beth Am: 4:45 p.m. The Neshama minyan, a soulful egalitarian
service using the melodies of Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach. 1039 S. La Cienega
Blvd., Los Angeles. For more information, call (310) 652-7353.

Temple Ahavat Shalom: 10:30 a.m. Shabbat service with Rabbi Barry Lutz.
5 p.m. Shabbat service with Rabbi Debbi Till. 18200 Rinaldi Place, Northridge.
For more information, call (818) 360-2258.

Singles

23/Saturday

Jewish Association of Single Professionals: 8:30 p.m.-1:30 a.m. Chanukah
dance party, with D.J.,Â appetizers, games and prizes. $20. Shalom
Hunan kosher Chinese restaurant, 5651 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles. For
more information, call (323) 656-7777.

New Age Singles (55+): Chanukah dinner dance. Bring a menorah and a
$2 wrapped grab-bag gift. $25 (members); $28 (guests). Radisson Hotel,
15433 Ventura Blvd., Sherman Oaks. For reservations or more information,
call (310) 473-1391.

Sephardic Jewish Singles (40’s-50’s): 6 p.m. Potluck Chanukah party
at private home in Santa Monica. $5 and potluck dish. For more information,
call (323) 936-1882.

Jewish Singles of Los Angeles (25-40): 7 p.m. Chanukah singles party
at private home in the San Fernando Valley. For more information, call
(818) 713-0999.

Jewish Singles of the San Gabriel Valley (40-65): 6:30 p.m. Chanukah
potluck, game night and conversation at a private home in Monrovia. For
reservations or more information, call (626) 284-5451.

24/Sunday

Conejo Jewish Singles Connection: 10:30 a.m. Moderate six-mile hike
on the Mush Trail in Topanga Canyon State Park. $2 (members); $5 (nonmembers).
For more information, call (818) 707-1270.

Classic Jewish Singles (30+): 11:30 a.m. Sunday brunch at the Skirball
Cultural Center. $5 plus cost of meal. 2701 N. Sepulveda Blvd., Los Angeles.
For reservations or more information, call (818) 753-6661.

Stephen S. Wise Temple Social Circle (35-59): 8:30 p.m. Holiday Hoopla
dance party. $15 (members); $18 (guests). Lunaria Restaurant, 10351 Santa
Monica Blvd. For more information, call (310) 889-2345.

Synagogue for the Performing Arts: 6 p.m. Chanukah in the Hollywood
Hills singles party, with dinner, dreidels and music. $15 (members); $20
(nonmembers). For reservations or more information, call (310) 472-3500.

Klutz Productions and SpeedDating (21-40): 7 p.m.-2 a.m. Two events:
7 p.m.-9 p.m., World’s Largest SpeedDating Event. Then, 9 p.m.-2 a.m. Klutz
Productions Holiday Party. $20 (for just the party, at the door); $25 (for
SpeedDating and party). The El Rey, 5515 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles. For
more information or to register in advance for SpeedDating, call (310)
247-7477.

Jewish Federation of Orange County, Young Business and Professionals
Division (25-45): 7 p.m.-midnight. Winter Gala Under the Stars Chanukah
party, with dinner, dancing and silent auction.Â $70. Orange Hill
Restaurant, 6410 E. Chapman Ave., Orange. For reservations or more information,
call (714) 755-5555 ext. 255.

Jewish Singles Meeting Place (30’s-40’s): 6 p.m. What’s a nice Jewish
guy/gal doing on Dec. 24? party at a private home in North Hills. $8. For
reservations or more information, call (818) 893-4879.

25/Monday

Jewish Single Parents and Singles Association:Â 5 p.m. Potluck
Chanukah party at a private home in Laguna Hills. $8 plus potluck dish
and $10 gift to exchange. For reservations or more information, call (949)
581-4788.

ACCESS/Tikkun L.A. (25-40): Volunteering across Los Angeles, serving
meals, delivering toys, planting trees and more. For reservations or more
information, call (213) 683-3433.

Eden Outdoor Adventures: 9:45 a.m. Hiking in Will Rogers State Park.
$5. For more information, call (310) 459-4020.

26/Tuesday

Westwood Jewish Singles (45+): 7:30 p.m. Coffee, cake and conversation.
Professionally led discussion and support group. Also meets Sun., 8 p.m.
$8. For more information, call (310) 444-8986.

27/Wednesday

JeffTennis (25-37): 7 p.m. Social-Vintational, with tennis rallying
and mixed-doubles play, near Beverly Hills. $5. For reservations, call
(818) 342-9402.

28/Thursday

Conversations!: 7:30 p.m. Singles group with a guest speaker every Thursday
night. Light dinner served. $15. 820 Harvard St., Santa Monica. For reservations,
call (310) 315-1078.

29/Friday

Singles Helping Others: 3 p.m.-8 p.m. Decorating Rose Parade floats
in Pasadena, followed by dinner. For reservations or more information,
call (323) 769-1307.

Travelling Shabbat Singles (20’s-30’s): 8 p.m. Group
attends Shabbat services at a different synagogue each week and socializes after
services. This week: Adat Shalom, 3030 Westwood Blvd., West L.A. Followed by
Kabbalat Shabbat at 10 p.m. with RebbeSoul at The Knitting Factory. $7. 7021
Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood. For more information, call (310) 712-3402.

Calendar Read More »

Steimatzky in Tarzana

Making Light

Leave a Comment / Up Front / Michael Aushenker

Looking to buy something kind of demented this Chanukah? Faithful Journal readers may recall Up Front’s dish on the Punching Rabbi Puppet earlier this year. Since then, Archie McPhee & Company has greatly expanded its line of Judaicus nonsensicus.

Featured alongside the davening, duking “Semite with might who fights” in this year’s Archie McPhee catalogue is a bag of 145 “Testamints” (in peppermint, spear-mint and wintergreen) with each candy individually enshrouded in Bible-verse wrapping. You can store these holy breath enhancers inside a tiny, gold-painted replica of the Ark of the Covenant. Oh yeah, and for people who couldn’t get enough of those rabbinical trading cards, Archie McPhee is back with Torah Cards II.

But before the thin-skinned among you take to pen and paper in protest, keep in mind that the twisted minds behind the Seattle-based novelty company are equal-opportunity offenders. In fact, the Cat Buddha statue, the Nunzilla, and the multi-armed Hindi Bendy might be the perfect gag gifts for your non-Jewish friends. — Michael Aushenker, Staff Writer

For more information on novelty Judaica, go to www.mcphee.com.

Making Light Read More »

A Gift That Keeps on Giving

Leave a Comment / Up Front / Marilyn Brown

Chatter Matters is the kind of present one person gets and the whole family benefits from. The board game is the brainchild of Kathryn Retsky, former director of the Stephen S. Wise Temple Parenting Center. Each player rolls the dice, moves along the board, and picks a card. The point is not winning or losing, but conversing. The cards pose questions such as, “A dream comes true. You are invisible for a day. What will you do?” The conversation that follows allows adults to hear their children’s responses and vice versa.

Participants — grandparents, parents, children, grandchildren — open up to each other. Dilemmas, concerns, wishes and dreams get put out, quite literally, on the table. More topical game cards ask questions such as, “If someone in your family was running for political office, what winning campaign slogan would you suggest?” These connect the outside world to the inner world of the participants.

The game is set up so that every answer is right and each player feels successful. Conversation is stimulated a new ideas are shared. Retsky, who is now authoring educational CD-ROMs that promote understanding of children’s health and development, hopes Chatter Matters will provide a thought-provoking vehicle to open up the hearts and minds of each player.

Her company, Parenting Solutions, has joined with Mattel to produce the game, which is available at Toys R Us and Target.

Finally, a gift that really does keep on giving.

A Gift That Keeps on Giving Read More »

Mural, Mural on the Wall

Leave a Comment / Up Front / Jewish Journal Staff

A new mural joins the A-list of great Jewish murals in Los Angeles. At Kehillat Israel, the Reconstructionist congregation in Pacific Palisades, local artist and temple member Wanda Warburton-Peretz recently unveiled “The Jewish Holidays,” a 16-foot by 8-foot mural depicting Judaism’s annual celebration cycle.

The bright, almost kinetic work uses child-friendly designs and splashy colors, while the words “Shabbat Shalom” glow warmly in the center.

The mural took two years to design and about 200 hours to execute on a curved wall in the rotunda that joins –appropriately — the Early Childhood Center and the religious school classrooms. Warburton-Peretz based her design largely on what she learned while attending Rabbi Neil Weinberg’s Introduction to Judaism class at the University of Judaism.

“Learning about the ethical principles, historical and agricultural significance, the symbolic foods and objects associated with each of the Jewish holidays was so amazing during my conversion process,” she said. “The idea of a mural started percolating in my mind even before I went into the mikvah. I am so pleased to have finally completed it in a place where kids of all ages can enjoy the colorful characters and scenes, and educators can use it as a teaching tool.”

The artist worked with both of Kehillat Israel’s rabbis, Steven Carr Reuben and Sheryl Lewart, as well as religious school director Nancy Levin, to personalize and fine-tune the overall design, weaving in pictures of the main sanctuary’s Torah covers and a ceramic tzedakah box that is presented to each new bar and bat mitzvah. It also features the Reconstructionist Press’ machzor and siddur and its newly published Passover haggadah, “A Night of Questions.”

The mural was dedicated on Oct. 20, just before Kehillat Israel’s Simchat Torah celebration. During a brief ceremony, Warburton-Peretz was honored for her “creative Jewish spirit.” Kehillat Israel’s senior staff presented her with a beautiful handmade tallit. Rabbis Reuben and Lewart, along with Cantor Chayim Frenkel, officiated at the ceremony and gave Warburton-Peretz the honor of carrying the first Torah around the sanctuary during the Simchat Torah processionals.

Mural, Mural on the Wall Read More »

Briefs

Leave a Comment / United States / Michael Aushenker

Righteous Honor

“I don’t feel like a hero,” said 91-year-old Annie Schipper. “I did what I had to do.”

What Annie and her husband Pieter “had to do” in 1942 was to hide a young Jewish couple with a baby son in their small apartment in Amsterdam, at the risk of their own lives.

For their bravery and humanity, Schipper and her late husband, as well as a second Dutch family, were honored Dec. 14 as “Righteous Among the Nations” by local Israeli diplomats and the American Society for Yad Vashem.

Schipper, now a resident of Santa Barbara, was joined on the stage at Sephardic Temple Tifereth Israel by the young mother she had saved, Leah Lopes Diaz van den Brink, and her now middle-aged son, Wulfert.Honored posthumously with the scroll and medal of Yad Vashem were Josef “Jupp” Herinx, who in 1943 found clandestine foster homes for Jewish children in his hometown of Kerkrade, Holland, and his mother, Theresa.

Theresa Herinx hid one of the children, Andre Neuberger, in her home. The cover story was that Andre was an orphan who had lost both parents during the German bombing of Rotterdam in 1940.

Neuberger was present Dec. 14, as was Theresa van Wortel of Costa Mesa, Jupp’s daughter and Theresa’s granddaughter.

The role of the Dutch people during the Holocaust is somewhat ambiguous, Fred Kort, president of the West Coast Friends of Yad Vashem, pointed out in his talk.

On the one hand, 75 percent of Dutch Jews perished during the Holocaust, the highest percentage of any country in Nazi-occupied Europe, except for Poland.

On the other hand, among the 18,000 Righteous Gentiles officially recognized by Yad Vashem, 4,000 are Dutch, by far the largest national contingent among all European countries.

Also participating in the ceremony were actor Mike Burstyn as emcee, Israeli Consul General Yuval Rotem, and deputy consul general Zvi Vapni, who organized the event.

Consular officials from Austria, Holland, Canada and Belize were in attendance. — Tom Tugend, Contributing Editor

Requiem for a Survivor

As Angelenos, we’ve all grown accustomed to watching high-speed police pursuits splashed across our local TV news. Yet even by L.A. standards, last weekend’s police chase, which ended in Encino with the horrific crash that took the life of 77-year-old Charlotte Lenga, was difficult to witness. The sad twist to the whole story is that Lenga lost her life years after having survived the unimaginable horrors of the most infamous of Nazi concentration camps.

Lenga, who was remembered Saturday by family and friends as a woman of strength and conviction, was born Sept. 28, 1923, in Jasina-Korosmezo, in the former Czechoslovakia, and survived concentration camps at Auschwitz and Bergen-Belsen. According to the Los Angeles Times, Lenga was transported from a Jewish ghetto in Mateszalko to Auschwitz, where she arrived on May 21, 1944. There, Lenga was forced to work for German industry under inhumane conditions, ordered to sift through the personal possessions of prisoners for precious metal items to be melted. Lenga endured much suffering in the concentration camps, where guards beat her until she was bloody and swollen, then forced her to work 12-hour shifts. In early 1945, Lenga was sent on a “death march” to Bergen-Belsen, from which she was liberated.

Last year, Lenga was among the seven Holocaust survivors who, with the Simon Wiesenthal Center and Gov. Gray Davis, filed a lawsuit in California Superior Court against American companies Ford Motor Co. and General Motors Co. and German institutions Deutsche Bank, Dresdner Bank, Deutsche Lufthansa, and Viag. The lawsuit against the named companies regarded the use of slave labor during the Holocaust.

Neighbors at the Zelzah Avenue condominium complex where Lenga and husband David had lived for the last decade remembered Charlotte as a woman devoted to her loved ones and to her faith.

“She was very family-oriented and very concerned about everyone who lives in the building,” Sema Smith, 72, told the Los Angeles Times. “She was preparing for Chanukah and may have been going to the post office to mail some cards.”

Said another neighbor of Lenga, “I understand that she had survived the Holocaust, and for her to come to such a tragic end is a double tragedy, it’s heartbreaking.”

Briefs Read More »

Dream On

Leave a Comment / Torah / Rabbi Michelle Missaghieh

Just as the morning light begins to shine through my windows, my dreams become vivid movies. They combine images from the past, worries of the present, and a confusing dialogue that takes place in a strange but familiar parallel universe in time.

Sometimes, like Jacob’s, my dreams are a wrestling match between my superego and my id. Sometimes, like Joseph’s in this week’s Torah portion, my dreams are messages from God that stir up feelings of anxiety and discomfort.

More than a year ago when I first found out I was pregnant, my dreams turned very vivid. They began as what I now know was a revelation from God, but at the time they only increased my anxiety. My first dream was of a tall, thin girl, about 11 years old. She was standing outside. She had long straight light-brown hair with bangs, and as I looked up at her from below, I said, “Oh, so this is what our daughter will look like.” That was the entire dream, and even today I can still conjure up the image of that angelic creature, standing above me. When I woke up I first thought that I must be carrying a girl. But rather than feeling calmed by my revelatory experience, I questioned its legitimacy. As a result, all of my subsequent dreams were about the anxiety of having a boy. In one dream I actually remember looking at our new baby child and saying “Oh well, it’s a boy,” accompanied by a sigh of sadness.

They say that for an onlooker, the eyes are the windows into another’s soul. If that is true, then I believe dreams are the window into our own souls. In the Talmud, Rabbi Chisda teaches that “the dream that is not interpreted is like a letter that is unread” and that “a dream is a prophecy in miniature”(Berakot 55a). Rabbi Bana’ah taught that “there were 24 interpreters of dreams in Jerusalem. Once I dreamed a dream, and I went around to all of them, and they all gave different interpretations, and all were fulfilled, thus confirming: All dreams follow the mouth [of the one who is doing the interpreting]” (Berakot 55b). If that is so, what are we to make of the four dreams in this week’s portion: two of Joseph’s, one of the cup bearer and one of the baker?

The Torah teaches that as soon as Joseph had his dreams, he told his brothers: “Once Joseph had a dream which he told to his brothers, and they hated him even more” (Genesis 37:5) and “He dreamed another dream and told it to his brothers” (Genesis 37:9). Did Joseph follow the Talmud’s teaching by telling his brothers his two dreams to seek their interpretation, or did he have another reason?

In order to answer this question, we have to admit that we usually treat dreams as private pearls, sharing them only with those we trust. They are personal and often kept as secrets. Sometimes they embarrass us, other times their messages confuse us and we shrug them off as nonsensical. But Joseph seems certain about his interpretations and is either unaware of or indifferent to his brother’s and later the cupbearer’s and baker’s reactions to his interpretations.

Why such certainty on Joseph’s part? Why did he continue to tell his brothers his dreams even though he saw their anger? Perhaps Joseph, unlike myself and the “24 interpreters of dreams in Jerusalem,” was able to look beyond his own filters of anxiety, hope and uncertainty and just hear God plainly. Though he risked being arrogant, the fact that he seemed untouched by other people’s reactions may indicate his certainty that God had spoken to him. How simple, if only we were that open to God’s messages in our own dreams.

Rabbi Michelle Missaghieh is rabbi of Temple Israel of Hollywood.

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Eight Gifts

Leave a Comment / Singles / Teresa Strasser

This weekend, my mom drove in from Las Vegas to deliver my Chanukah gifts. As I’ve mentioned before, the woman is a gift maven. There are odd-shaped boxes and bags awaiting me for the eight days of Chanukah. Seeing the gifts stuffed under a table in my living room has started me thinking about the best gifts I’ve gotten this year. In the interest of blessing-counting, I’ve made a list.

1. Silver Tiffany bracelet
I bought it myself. After I rolled the dice for a family friend shooting craps, he threw me a $100 chip. I was so tickled I marched over to Tiffany & Co. to buy the bracelet I’d secretly hoped someone else would buy me. I had it engraved with the phrase “Do I dare?” from the poem “The Love Song of Alfred J. Prufrock” by T.S. Eliot. Whenever I see it on my wrist, I feel lucky.

2. I made a new friend
She’s very emotional. I told her a story about a guy offering me work if I slept with him and she actually cried in empathy. She’s breast-feeding and it might just be the hormones, but it felt like a gift. I think she’s what my mother would call “a keeper.”

3. Therapy
I had a little meltdown this year about my career and I went back to San Francisco to see my former therapist. She made time for me on a Saturday, her office cozy and familiar. During that session, she gave me two things. First, she gave me the mantra: “It’s not life or death.” It sounds simple, but it’s changed my life. It reminds me that work is work, not a reflection of my total value in the world. The second thing she gave me is the concept of a “thought stop sign.” When my mind starts into an anxiety spiral, I just see the red sign in my head and stop. She diluted my anxiety with two parts perspective.

4. “The Inner Game of Tennis”
This is a classic 1970s self-help book, ostensibly about tennis but really about life. A friend recommended it, and I loved it. The basic idea is to stop observing and judging yourself, just see the ball bounce and hit it. There’s no gift like a great book recommendation.

5. A health scare
You don’t notice how good you feel until you don’t. As it turns out, there’s nothing seriously wrong with me. Still, I don’t bother feeling chubby or unattractive as much these days because I’m so grateful all the parts are working. Also, a guy I’ve been seeing for a few months came with me to the emergency room. You really see what a guy’s made of when he doesn’t flinch while watching you carry a urine specimen. I got the chance to be taken care of, and I think that’s what all great gifts make you feel.

6. Great advice
“Never reject yourself,” said a friend. “Your job is to put yourself in a position to be rejected every day.” I love that. Not that I do it, but at least I consider it.

7. A new car
This one seems shallow, but my used Taurus is the first car I’ve ever bought myself. The rest were family hand-me-downs. As my old junker rotted at the mechanic’s and my savings poured into a rental car, I faced the carnival of confusion that is used car buying and did it in one long, soul-sucking day. When I think about that goal met, I’m inspired — not to mention air-conditioned.

8. A box of “Almond Roca”
Made by my mother, it was among the gifts she brought me. She has been making her own knockoff of Almond Roca every holiday season as long as I can remember, and even though my folks recently sold the family home and moved, the candy reminds me that the sweetest traditions travel.

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Sitting Idle

Leave a Comment / Other Voices / Leonard Fein

Africa is not much on our minds these days. We have obviously been preoccupied by America’s election and by Israel’s chaos. Many of us have long since stopped reading the news from Africa, since it is almost always gloomy — Africa as the world’s basket case, the one continent that seems irretrievably trapped by misgovernment and murder, and now by a horrendous pandemic of AIDS.

Sen. Russell Feingold (D-Wis.), of campaign finance reform, is among the more interesting members of the Senate. A few weeks ago, in explaining his opposition to the death penalty to a synagogue audience in Wisconsin, he carefully reviewed traditional Jewish views of capital punishment. More recently, Feingold spoke at a World AIDS Day reception in Milwaukee, and his disturbing speech warrants a larger audience than the occasion provided.

Worldwide, 21 million people have died of AIDS so far, and another 36 million are infected. Of those 36 million, more than 25 million live in Africa — which is to say that more than two out of every three people in the world infected by AIDS live in sub-Sahara Africa. Every day, another 11,000 people — men, women and children — become infected there; every day, more than 5,500 Africans die of AIDS-related illnesses, many without ever having been treated.

As Feingold put it, “In Africa, people are dying from AIDS alone in numbers comparable to the number of deaths in the United States from heart disease, and cancer, and stroke, and accidents, and pneumonia, and diabetes and nearly all other causes of death combined.”

By the year 2010, some 20 million children, most of them African, will have lost one or both parents to the diseases. In Zimbabwe, where one out of four teenagers between the ages of 15 and 19 is HIV positive, some reports have suggested that life expectancy has dropped from 65 to 39.

It is true that Africa is very far away from us and Africa’s problems are hard to think about. It is also true that we have other problems much closer to home, and what happens in Africa doesn’t have much immediate impact on our lives.

But here are two things that are not true: There’s nothing to be done about the crisis of AIDS in Africa. And racism is irrelevant as an explanation of why, so far, so little has been done. (Imagine, for example, that a pandemic of similar scope were unfolding in Europe. Would there not be a nearly immediate response?)

The central issue in our own public policy agenda regarding the crisis has to do with making low-cost medications available to the people of Africa. Average annual income in Africa often barely exceeds $1,000, while life-saving medications can easily cost as much as $12,000 a year. The issue: The $12,000 price tag is the conventional cost charged by the pharmaceutical industry; around the world, there are dozens of companies eager to produce and market the very same drugs at a fraction of that conventional cost.

Last year, Feingold, along with Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.), introduced a modest piece of legislation that would have prohibited the United States from taking action against countries trying to make low-cost AIDS medications available. The Senate accepted the proposal, but in committee, after heavy lobbying by the pharmaceutical industry, the proposal was stripped out of the bill to which it had been attached. As a result, poverty and Africanness are conditions that render AIDS vastly more lethal than it would be otherwise.

It is disturbing to be the object of an effort to force yet another crisis onto our personal agendas, so crowded with crisis as they are already. And if the crisis that’s being forced upon us is so remote, it is easy enough to respond with a “tsk tsk” and to go on about our business. Where and how shall we make room for this distant problem?

“Where” and “how” are very real questions, but “why” is not. The answer to the “why” question is in the eyes of the orphans, in the eyes of all the bereaved; it is in the collapse of gross domestic product in sub-Saharan Africa, and in the collapse of life expectancy; it is in the national security implications of the crisis; above all, it is in the shame with which our inaction will be recorded, the shame that quite properly attaches to a people that watched passively while millions of people needlessly died.

When we speak of the Holocaust, we sometimes wonder how many Einsteins, how many Sabins and Salks, how many Amichais and Bernsteins there were among those who perished. That’s a fair question, and a painful one. The same question, of course, applies in the case at hand, as does the classic stricture we are so fond of citing: “Thou shalt not stand idly by the blood of thy neighbor.”

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