Cell Phone Safety Is a Parental Responsibility

“No, you can’t have a cell phone, or at least not until you reach bar mitzvah!” After 11 years in the field of Internet security and 14 as a parent, you’d think I’d be ready with a snappier comeback to my child’s request for a phone. In my career I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how to make technology easier to use, but I have also spent a lot of those years thinking about how to keep kids safe when they use almost any form of technology.

Communicating with friends is important to all of us, so it shouldn’t be a surprise when our children wish to mimic adult behaviors. They must have pretty good arguments to convince their parents, because by age 13, half of American children have a cell phone. “I think that parents should think of cell phones in stages,” says Vanessa Van Petten, an expert on kids and technology. “I think it is appropriate for a child to have a cell phone just for emergencies and calling parents at age 7. You can get a plan and device that allows for only three or four numbers to be programmed into it (e.g. Mom, Dad, Grandma, emergency) and have very few total minutes.”

This staged approach demonstrates that cell phones, like most powerful tech toys, come with responsibility.

The financial reality of monthly billing may cause you to delay allowing your preteen their first phone, but with many pay-as-you-go or prepaid options, the cost can actually be relatively low. Beyond the financial risks, cell phones bring actual safety considerations.

First, there’s the concern that with a cell phone and unique telephone number, people can directly communicate with your child. Do you know everyone your child chats with on the phone? Do you recognize all the numbers on the bill? With that phone disappearing into your child’s backpack or their bedroom at night, you’re giving up some of your direct control over your child’s life. It’s good to help your child develop independence but you shouldn’t do so without considering whether or not it’s right for your family.

Your first action items are to make sure the bill is in your name, you have the password to the phone, you check the call log and talk to your child about whom they call and how long they are on the phone.

Next, cell phones today are so jam-packed with features, they are almost minicomputers, capable of texting, instant messaging and Web browsing. Kids sometimes send nasty messages to one another and engage in the more severe forms of Internet harassment called “cyberbullying.” In fact, 43 percent of American teens have been victims of cyberbullying in the past year, and the cell phone is one of the common tech toys used to distribute mean messages or embarrassing photos.

A newer problem is when children (usually girls) are asked for a sexy photo of themselves and use the cell phone to take the picture while in the privacy of their own bedroom. They then send the photo to other people. There’s even a slang term for this — “sexting.” A recent study conducted by Teen Research Unlimited found that 20 percent of American teens have already sent or posted a nude or semiclad photo of themselves to others. In some cases, the recipient sent the image on to other friends — the rest of the school or, worse, actually sold the image to child pornographers. When distributed to other people, those photos cause terrible humiliation and regret that can deeply scar a child’s developing self-esteem.

Within our criminal justice system, sexting is a poorly understood phenomenon. We have seen cases in several U.S. states where children are being prosecuted for sexting under child pornography laws. Even where the cases are settled, the prospect of a child going to prison or being registered as a sex offender for a lapse in judgment is truly frightening to any parent. And if the statistic is valid that one out of every five youths are taking these sexy photos and sharing with friends, you’re likely thinking to yourself, “wow, that could be my kids.”

If you mention the sexting issue to your teens, you’ll get some serious eye-rolling and “MOM!” comments. I did. It’s hard to even suggest to our kids that their beloved cell phone could ever cause them regret or harm. In fact, another study, this one from Harris Poll, found that nearly half of U.S. teens say their social lives would end or be worsened without their cell phones. And when it comes to texting, those same kids prefer it to actual real-life conversations. No surprise to those of us with teens! With 1 billion text messages zinging back and forth each day, how is a parent to keep up with the conversation (let alone pay the monthly bill)?

Many parents are unaware of the variety of inexpensive parental controls and services available from most cell providers. Some of these limit access to Web sites, block usage for all but emergency numbers during school hours or help you limit services like texting.

Lastly, there is scientific research to indicate that the radiation our cell phones gives off is dangerous, and particularly so to children. Make sure your child takes safety precautions such as using the speakerphone or a wired earpiece to talk on the phone. They shouldn’t sleep with the phone on the pillow next to them. Ask them to carry the phone in their backpack or purse, rather than in their pockets.

With some parental awareness, boundaries and rules, cell phones can remain the valued new members of our families they’ve become.

For more information, visit onlinefamily.norton.com.

Marian Merritt is Symantec’s Internet safety advocate and a parent of three school-age children. She has spoken at the Jewish Community Library of Los Angeles and area day schools about Internet and cell phone safety for kids.