Tipping is Not a City in China

Years ago, I read a terrific book by Mark L. Brenner called “Tipping for Success,” or in Yiddish, “the Schmear.” Brenner taught me that if you want the parking valet to get your car fast, tip them when you pull up. If you want it out front, peel off a $20 bill.

Gail Stocker, a woman who booked my stand-up comedy, once told me how important it is to over-tip service people. She said, “if, at the end of my life, I calculate I over-tipped $10,000, so what?” You can make so many people so happy by giving them a little extra. People need money, and a little extra can go a long way. 

Dennis Prager has a rule: “If they touch it, I tip them.” When on an airport shuttle, if the driver helps me with my bags, I’ll sit on the shuttle with bills popping out of my hand to remind everyone else to tip. If I’m with someone who is paying for my meal and I don’t think they tipped enough, without embarrassing them, if I can secretly drop some cash on the table, I’ll do it. On my last trip to the hospital, I handed out a couple of fifties and a box of chocolates to a few of the nurses. My care went up a few notches, and I had access to unlimited Jell-O.  The mail carrier, gardener, manicurist, doorman — all get Christmas or Hanukkah tips.

There are certain people you never tip. You never say to airline pilots, “Here’s a hundred for getting us in early” or to a surgeon, “Good job with the gallbladder.” 

There are certain people you never tip. You never say to airline pilots, “Here’s a hundred for getting us in early” or to a surgeon, “Good job with the gallbladder.” 

At birth, God gifted us certain sensitivities and the potential to develop and refine them. Part of our mission is to nurture and expand that inborn gift. By being aware of others’ needs through tipping, we can expand that gift.

I love tipping. It makes me feel good, and I know it might immediately be helpful to the person receiving it. Some people have the rap, “It’s their job. They get paid.” That’s true, you’re right.  But so what?

For me, I have a need to tip, and I don’t care what my deep psychological reason might be for tossing a couple of extra bucks to total strangers. I’d rather give out a handful of fives and tens than $300 an hour to a shrink to find out why I need to tip. I’d rather find out why I need to give a shrink the three hundred. 

A while back, I was in Dallas, and I went into a salad place and ordered one to go. I asked the kid making the salad if he’d been busy. His answer was, “It’s been dead quiet.” I immediately felt bad for him, knowing that meant no tips coming in. He bagged my lunch, rang me up, and thanked me. I paid with my credit card and then handed him a fiver in cash. Five extra dollars for an eight-dollar salad. You would have thought I handed him a thousand dollars. My salad tasted better knowing that kid was a bit happier. 

And even though it’s not tipping, if someone helps me and if I don’t buy on the spot, I find out if they work on commission. If they do and I decide to buy later, I come back, and if they’re off that day, I leave a message to make sure they get their commission.

I’m not talking about handing out 50s and 100s, unless of course, you can afford it and want to. I know people who do hand out hundreds. I love watching the face of the person who gets a $100 tip. For most of us, though, an extra shekel or two is all it takes to tip the scale in a good direction. 

Rabbi Yisroel Belsky said on Torah.Org, “The Talmud says the tip is mandatory for those whose entire income comes from the tip – such as the innkeepers in Jerusalem.” So, you see that giving a tip is an obligation in such cases. This is a Halacha (Jewish law) that the Gemara (Talmud) states clearly. Tipping is not just a nice way to behave. And where it’s not mandatory, it’s a darn nice thing to do.

Mark Schiff is a comedian, actor and writer, and host of the ‘You Don’t Know Schiff’ podcast. His new book is “Why Not? Lessons on Comedy, Courage and Chutzpah.”