A short time ago, in a galaxy all too familiar, a smart, adorable guy I\’d been chatting with for months faded — like one too many others — into oblivion. The red flags were raised from day one.
I thought I had struck social gossip gold when my friend Paula let slip a delicious bit of intelligence straight into my eager ears. But as it turns out, Benjamin Franklin was right: \’Two can keep a secret, if one of them is dead.\’
\”Men in their 30s are like milk,\” a rabbi recently said to me as I told him some stories about my dating life. \”The longer they sit out the more spoiled they get.\” For once, someone wasn\’t telling me, \”What\’s wrong with you?\” and was trying to say, \”What\’s wrong with all of them?\” Still, it was disheartening.
A little embellishment here and there isn\’t so bad — creativity and a sense of humor are always great things. But there are just certain things that you should never lie about.
I\’m drinking at a bar called the Dirty Horse on Hollywood Boulevard. Well, that\’s not the real name, but I never got a look at the sign and that name seemed right.
If you\’re a single 24-year-old gal looking to meet a preferably Jewish single guy in Los Angeles, you\’d think a good pick-up line might include the words \”I work for The Jewish Journal.\” After all, what better way to convey to the guy-of-interest that you\’re a fellow MOT? But you\’d be wrong.
I had been dating my girlfriend for a month when I told her that my parents were coming to town for their yearly visit from the East Coast. \”Do your parents know I\’m a shiksa?\” Laura asked, smirking sincerely. \”Not yet,\” I said. \”I haven\’t told them about you yet. But don\’t worry, they\’ll be cool with you not being Jewish.\” I said this, unsure if that last statement was completely true.
As the years have gone by, I realize I\’d just as soon be alone than continue to go through cycles of head-spinning effort with someone in exchange for a couple of moments of grace. So I don\’t do that anymore. And though this kind of spiritual honesty has created an ease in my nervous system (and a welcome death to that horrible intimate uncertainty of giving myself where it\’s not appreciated), I have to stop and wonder, have I become overworked and underplayed?
And people tell me I\’m neurotic. They say, \”Don\’t think about it so much,\” and \”Just let it happen.\” They think, \”God, she\’s never going to get married if she is going to get hung up on that,\” and \”Where does she even come up with these things?\” Well, let me tell you something: I\’ve got nothing on the minutia of relationships. I\’m a lightweight on the subject, I\’ve decided, after reading two new books on relationships written by Jewish Journal singles columnists.
Now retired from the dating game, Teresa Strasser happily enjoys her new role as love coach. Journal readers have long been treated to her insights on being single in these pages. Strasser, an Emmy winner and news reporter for Adam Carolla\’s show on KLSX 97.1 FM, now takes on the role of co-dating adviser on the new ABC reality show, \”How to Get the Guy.\”
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