Despite our tradition that sets the 13th year as the start of adulthood, 13 is not the end of childhood or the beginning of adulthood. Instead, it is the start of a new stage — teenager. Neither an adult nor child, a teenager is like Dr. Doolittle\’s Push-Me, Pull-You: Sometimes he seems to be pushing toward adulthood, and at other times he is pulling back toward childhood.
Having a son on the bar/bat mitzvah circuit myself, I\’ve been privy to many horrific tales of the disrespectful and downright out-of-control behavior that can take place at these meaningful celebrations. While some of the more extreme stories may simply be suburban legend, there\’s no doubt that disorderly conduct at bar and bat mitzvahs is a recurring problem.
Getting kids involved with giving isn\’t just for wealthy families. On the contrary, middle-class kids tend to have much more than they need — and can benefit from the values and insights they will get from charitable activities. It\’s up to parents to get them going, and to figure out the best structure for the entire family\’s charitable activities
Â
More than 30 years after Gloria Steinem founded Ms. Magazine and Sally Priesand was ordained a rabbi, more than 25 years after Judith Resnick became an astronaut and more than 10 years after Ruth Bader Ginsburg was appointed to the United States Supreme Court, Jewish women, along with their non-Jewish counterparts, have discovered that they can have it all — at a steep price.
Shlepping around with swollen feet, a growing belly and mounting exhaustion is a challenge for any mom-to-be, but Beth Saltz is determined to go to Shabbat services as often as she can for the rest of her pregnancy.
\”I feel I need to do it now before the baby is born,\” said Saltz, a Woodland Hills resident who is five and a half months pregnant with her first child. \”Sometimes parents don\’t work on their own spirituality and beliefs until the child is older, but I think it\’s important to do it now.\”
At this turning point in her life, Saltz views Judaism as more important than ever — and she\’s not alone.
\”If a cure helps one disease like diabetes, it will be a burden off our health-care system. Even if one treatment comes out of this, then we will have made a difference,\” said Temple Beth Am member Carol Eisner, whose 13-year-old daughter Emma Klatman has type-one diabetes.
It was the first day of preschool and 2-year-old Jessica didn\’t know any of other children in her new class at B\’nai Tikvah Congregation Nursery School. But the child\’s anxiety paled in comparison that of her mother.
\”Mommy, will you read to me?\”
My 10-year-old daughter asks me this question every night. Even if I\’m exhausted, or just want some time to myself, I almost always say yes. Before I turn around, she\’ll be 11, then 12, then a teenager.
She will no longer need her reading fix with Mommy. \”Time will not be ours forever,\” as Ben Jonson wrote back in 1607, when the printed word was still a new invention. I want to make this time with my daughter last.
More than any one single thing, parents want each of their children to grow up to be a mensch. I have asked parents and educators across the spectrum of Jewish observance and belief what they want most for their children, and this is the answer that comes up more often than any other. Interestingly, when I ask the same question to non-Jewish parents, I get the same answer, though they don\’t use the same word. Parents want their children to grow up to be knowledgeable, responsible, nonviolent and caring. They want their kids to be concerned for others, their families and communities; good team players, yet also possess good leadership skills; decent and ethical; to love justice; to feel compassion for others and to act on those feelings; and be the kind of person one can count on, an all-around complete human being. In other words: a mensch.
More news and opinions than at a Shabbat dinner, right in your inbox.