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J.D. Smith

J.D. Smith

Hit the Road, Jeff

I have heard people refer to the process of meeting someone as "the dating minefield."

Cable Vision

I\’m seeing someone. Let\’s call her Alison. We\’re dating. We\’re in that very gray area between being total strangers and celebrating our silver wedding anniversary. Three months into it and people are already asking when we\’re getting married. At this point, we\’re cautiously optimistic, still prefacing all our plans with the phrase: \”If you\’re still speaking with me,\” as in: \”If you\’re still speaking with me in two weeks, would you like to go to the theater on Thursday night?\”

If we\’re still speaking on Sunday at 9 p.m., you will generally find us parked in front of the television set watching \”Sex and the City.\”

The Parking Spot Theory

Here\’s my \”Parking Spot Theory\”: Let\’s say you\’re driving around, looking for a parking spot and you can\’t find one. You drive around the block again and, still, nothing. You look up ahead at the other cars circling the block and no one is getting a parking spot. Frustration builds. Then, suddenly, a spot opens up and the guy ahead of you pulls into it. The first thing you think is, \”Damn, that could\’ve been my parking spot.\” Disappointment. Anger.

Generation Ex

My editor recently suggested that as long as I was writing something called \”Singles,\” it might be helpful if I actually went out on a date every once in a while. Research. Give the column the ring of verisimilitude.

Bundles of Joy

The stork has been awfully busy lately. It seems as though everyone I know is having a baby. A couple I haven\’t heard from in months sent a postcard with a picture of what I thought was a Sharpei puppy — it turns out the little boy\’s name is Jesse. I didn\’t even know they were expecting.

Self-Improvement for Dummies

Some of the letters we get here at the Jewish Journal are quite flattering. Some people relate that they find my biweekly musings to be pithy and funny (thanks, mom!). If these people can be trusted, they are laughing out loud, weeping with laughter, dying of laughter. I\’ve killed six by the latest count.

The Age of Reason

I thought I had exhausted every possible way to meet members of the opposite sex: blind dates and JDates, fishing for invitations to big Hollywood parties and intimate dinner gatherings. I joined art groups in the hopes of finding like-minded women while shrouding myself in a veneer of respectability.

My Sister Julie, Queen of the Jews

My sister Julie was not bat mitzvahed. She does not read Hebrew. She attends synagogue exactly four times a year, observes the first night of Passover and celebrates Purim. She lives in Montecito, a lovely suburb just south of Santa Barbara, where she is known by the title: \”Queen of the Jews.\” She earned it.

Crazy for These Guys

Evan and Jaron Lowenstein aren\’t your average rock stars. The identical-twin heartthrobs are Orthodox Jews whose contract includes a Sabbath clause.

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