Looking Back to Look Forward for Rosh Hashanah

Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, is approaching just as the new school year begins for our children. I could really use some NEW this year and I have a feeling that a lot of parents feel the same way. The last year and a half has been taxing on parents in ways that none of us could have imagined. Home schooling, hybrid schooling, distanced schooling—none of the options were easy.

Toddlers running naked through zoom meetings, teenagers on video games for 24 hours per day, kids bored and lonely—I don’t need to enumerate the many things on this list because we all lived it. And when I think back to spring and the beginning of summer this year, it really did feel like we were entering a new phase. Things were changing, opportunities were opening up. But now, at the time of the new school year and the new year in the Jewish calendar, NEW is feeling pretty elusive.

One of the things I have always loved about the High Holidays is that it gives us an opportunity to reflect backward and set intentions for moving forward. And this year, this ritual is going to be more important than ever.

If I were to take a true inventory of COVID times with my kids, I would say that there are moments that I will cherish forever, and I also spent a lot of time being a mom in a way that I didn’t love. I know “New Year’s Resolutions” are clearly for January 1 and aren’t exactly part of the Jewish tradition, so, instead, here is my list of “New Year’s Reflections and Recommitments.”

I know “New Year’s Resolutions” are clearly for January 1 and aren’t exactly part of the Jewish tradition, so, instead, here is my list of “New Year’s Reflections and Recommitments.”

1.  Listening—At a fundamental level, this is the biggest gift we can ever give our children—just being there to listen-listen with our ears, our eyes, our hearts. In the past year, I know that there were times that my kids needed me to listen and be present with their thoughts when I was distracted by or prioritized getting dinner on the table or answering one last work email. I often found myself saying “I’m listening” as a way to justify my multi-tasking. As we enter this new year, I am recommitting to listening, not as a passive process but as an action.
2. Tikkun Olam—This part of Judaism, meaning “Repair the World,” has depth and opportunities for growth at every turn for my kids and me. When we go camping we always say, “leave the site better than how you found it” and I want to teach my kids that it is our job to leave this world a better place than when we found it. This past year, there were so many opportunities for Tikun Olam, but I sometimes allowed myself to be overwhelmed by how much healing and repair is needed, and so I would freeze up, put on my mask and keep moving forward. My recommitment this year is to keep Tikkun Olam at the forefront of our family conversations and activities. This could look like all of us reading the same book and discussing it, attending protests together or simply going down to the beach and picking up trash on a weekend.
3. Gratitude—The studies are clear, there is no single act that can help build a joyous life more than a regular gratitude practice. For many years, we have had “Friday Night Gratitude Night” as part of our Shabbat dinner—even if we are blessing pizza crust because I didn’t have time to get or make a Challah. But after living through this past year, it is clear that weekly gratitude isn’t enough. It’s daily, hourly, minute by minute. I recommit to including gratitude as a practice in our home, just like we practice kindness and I practice yoga and we practice cleaning up our messes.
4. Self-Compassion—You know, we did the best we possibly could over the past year. Did my kids watch more screens than ever before? Absolutely! Is that the end of the world? Maybe not? Over the past year, I have become deeply aware of how often I say things to myself that are far crueler than anything I would ever say to another human being. And, guess what? My kids are little empaths and they will pick up on it, even if I’m not saying it out lout. I would be so sad if they ever said these kinds of negative things to themselves, and the only way I can prevent that is by living and demonstrating self-love and self-compassion. This year, I am going to recommit to loving all parts of myself: the parts that come easily, like when I take the time to have a kitchen dance party with my gang, but also the parts that are harder to love, like when I lose my patience and say something sharp.  

This New Year is a perfect moment for renewal. What are your recommitments? How are you reviewing the past year? It was certainly a year like we never imagined, so let’s make the next one as sweet as possible.

Nina Meehan is an award-winning director, producer and an internationally recognized expert in arts education and youth theatre through her role as the CEO and Founder of Bay Area Children’s Theatre. Prior to having her three beautiful children, Nina was a featured Jewish Storyteller and is now the co-founder of The New York Times-featured “K’ilu Kits,” a company dedicated to audio-storytelling adventures for Jewish Holidays.