A Message of Gratitude for a Rabbi Who Rescued Us in Our Time of Grief
Our beloved daughter Shani, who was kidnapped, violated, and murdered by Hamas on Oct. 7, has left us with a grief that defies words.
It is for this reason that we, as the parents of a victim of that horrible day of Oct. 7, are taking the rare step of making a public statement in favor of someone who has played a special role in our time of grief, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach.
After Shani’s murder, Rabbi Shmuley scrambled through his contacts at the IDF to find us—and he immediately became like family, including his wife Debbie and their nine children. Shmuley’s unwavering support and tireless efforts helped us navigate the horror of those early days of uncertainty and grief. All we saw was a man of character, competence, and compassion.
In the days following our tragedy, when we were frantic, unsure of what was happening and whether or not our daughter was even still alive, Rabbi Shmuley didn’t just offer comforting words—he took action. Through his network of contacts in the U.S., Israel, and around the world, he helped us bring international attention to our situation, seeking out any possible information on Shani’s whereabouts, and, later, amplifying our grief and her memory to a global audience.
He leveraged every possible resource, from the U.S. government to America’s foremost celebrities, in his efforts to help our family and immortalize Shani, even when we were essentially strangers to him.
What stood out most about Rabbi Shmuley was not just his ability to mobilize people in high places, but his empathy for our daily lives. As he talked to prominent people on our behalf, he never forgot the small details. Rabbi Shmuley took steps to comfort and assist us at all times of day, visiting us at our home and comforting our remaining children.
When he said, “Shani is not just your daughter, she’s all of our daughter,” it showed us his sense of shared humanity.
Before Shani’s body was found by the IDF, he flew us to New York City where he arranged a Torah dedication at the famous “Glass House” where thousands came to listen to his friend Robert F. Kennedy, Jr and dedicate a Torah to the memory of Shani, Bobby’s father RFK and Rabbi Shmuley’s mother Eleanor, whom he had just lost. Dana White, the first ever woman of color to serve as global spokesman for the Pentagon and US Military worldwide, also addressed the gathering, placing a Magen David around her neck which she, as a devout Christian, has never since removed.
We then stayed with the Boteach family at their home for two weeks. Amid our period of mourning they did everything possible to show us that life would continue, including taking us ice-skating in Bryant Park which, as inhabitants of a desert country, was quite a challenge.
At Shabbat dinner Rabbi Shmuley invited the head of Carnegie Hall, Sir Clive Gillinson, where we could discuss Shani’s favorite thing in the world – music and dance.
Rabbi Shmuley’s personal commitment to fighting antisemitism runs deep. Three of his nine children have served as IDF soldiers and two of his sons are currently fighting in the war, in Israel, Gaza, and Lebanon. In 2012, when he won the Republican nomination for Congress, he had a public meeting with Prime Minister Netanyahu. The press asked how a candidate for the US House can have children serving in Israel’s army. Netanyahu insisted on answering the question. “Anyone who fights to defend Israel,” the PM said, “is fighting to defend the United States of America. We face the same enemies.”
As consumed with grief as we still are, we haven’t forgotten that big, existential questions will face Israel in the coming years. What to do about Gaza? Turn it over to the Palestinian Authority, exchanging one evil for a slightly lesser one? And what of Judea and Samaria? Annex the ancient Jewish Biblical homeland amid international condemnation and possible boycotts? Should our soldiers completely retreat from Lebanon, allowing Hezbollah to build its forces and tunnels once against right up against our northern border? And how do we expand the Abraham Accords and normalize relations with Saudi Arabia?
Those questions can’t be answered without the partnership of Israel’s greatest ally, America, and its great friend in the White House, President Donald Trump. And whoever becomes America’s Ambassador Against Antisemitism (known as US Special Envoy for Monitoring and Combating Antisemitism) will be required to have a special understanding of Israel and the world Jewish community’s security and diplomatic needs.
This is why we are writing this statement of gratitude. With the American holiday of Thanksgiving just around the cover, this is a perfect time to publicly express our deep thanks for one man and his family who took us in and rescued us in our time of unspeakable grief.
We have seen him in action at all levels. Of course we are biased, but we must share our truth: We can’t think of a better representative to fight antisemitism around the world, with grace, passion and dignity.
This statement is our way of saying thank you.
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