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May 6, 2022

Jennifer Grey’s Memoir “Out of the Corner” Is Courageous and Empowering

Actress Jennifer Grey wrote her new memoir “Out of the Corner” to take ownership of her life story. Up until now, she’s felt as if everyone else has dictated her story.

The book starts in the late 1980s with a prologue that clarifies misconceptions about the infamous rhinoplasty that left her virtually unrecognizable—despite her being a high-profile actress at the time.

“In the world’s eyes, I was no longer me,” Grey, who starred in “Dirty Dancing” and “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” writes. “I had unwittingly joined the Witness Protection Program.”

Though she addressed the incident with grace, compared to the rest of the book, Grey’s retelling of the nose job story felt like her fist pounding on the metaphorical lectern of her life. She’s declaring that she will no longer be defined by the trolls that have chastised her appearance for the past three decades.

“Out of the Corner ” is Grey’s process of “owning” her entire life story that too often has been mischaracterized and lampooned by those who don’t know her. And the throughline of the book is a deeper dive into how Grey seeks to exorcise her propensity for people-pleasing.

“I was born and bred to please and to not hurt anyone and not disappoint anyone,” Grey told the Journal. “I don’t want to hurt anybody ever.”  

“I was born and bred to please and to not hurt anyone and not disappoint anyone.” – Jennifer Grey

The opening chapters chronicle her early life living at Central Park West in New York City with her brother and parents Jo Wilder and Joel Grey—both prominent stage performers at the time. She proudly details her Jewish upbringing in the chapter “Who Jew You Think You Are?”

Although she describes being born into a family of “Broadway royalty,” they downplayed their Jewishness in public so it wouldn’t affect their professional prospects. Joel would go on to win an Academy Award for his 1972 performance in “Cabaret.”

While Grey has much love and affection for her family, she does not shy away from recalling conversations with them and other adults in her life that left her feeling insecure for years to come.

When she was 13, her mother said to her, “Your brother is beautiful. You are…interesting looking,” Grey writes. Then, when she was 14, her grandparents’ landlord grabbed her from behind and began to lick her neck. Her parents and grandparents dismissed Grey’s distress when she told them what happened.

Even as she proved to be a talented actress as a teenager, the belittling added up. She recalls one of her first headshot sessions, which was filled with hurtful snarky comments from the photographer that left her doubting her own smile.

“Out of the Corner” engages the reader on Grey’s journey of discovery and doubts about herself. It started as a collection of essays about “change everything” moments in her life, and evolved into an opus of triumphing over self-doubt. It came at the cost of having to relive the many hurtful words hurled at her over the years.

“I never put something in quotes [in the book] that was not exactly the words that were burned into my head,” Grey said. “They were seared because of the shock of it, or because it was, it was very, impactful.”

The book chronicles her experience with Matthew Broderick in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” that became a secret romance between the two. Grey also looks back at the production of “Dirty Dancing” and the dynamic between her and Patrick Swayze. She opens up about being jealous of Swayze for getting the bulk of the acclaim, even though she was in almost every scene.

Grey then circles back to the day she felt “reduced to a punchline” following the surgeries that she refused to let define her.  

“One of the things I want to do better is be more honest and be able to own my story and be able to tolerate people’s displeasure or disappointment or hurt feelings or people’s dislike of me,” Grey said. “I feel like what I’ve dealt with in my life has created a lot more resilience about the fact that people are gonna say whatever they wanna say about me, and if I’m at the mercy of that, then I’m just screwed.”

Grey is far from screwed, and her memoir serves as proof that Jennifer Grey won’t let anyone put Jennifer Grey in a corner again. Anyone who has ever lamented that they listened to others too much will find “Out of the Corner” a cathartic story of taking a stand.

Jennifer Grey’s Memoir “Out of the Corner” Is Courageous and Empowering Read More »

Be Holy – The Holy Order of the Heart of the Six Pointed Star

 

Be Holy – The Holy Order of the Heart of the Six Pointed Star

(thoughts on Torah Portion Kedoshim 2022)

A holy person acts differently from other people. A holy person is separated off from other people. A holy person knows something that a regular person does not know. A holy person knows things if a different way from others. A holy person is connected to something far beyond this mundane level. A holy person might seem to be connected to that unseen realm more than this one.

When God said to the Israelites in our portion, Kedoshim, to “be holy,” the people of Israel were called into being in order to from a new holy order, the United Israelite Fellowship of the Six-Pointed Heart of the Star. We were to act differently from the general population, pursue holy knowledge, connect ourselves to the Source of Holiness.

Anyone can join, as long as they accepted upon themselves the rules of the Holy Order. As members of this order, we are given a moral behavioral code, a code of honor, and a spiritual code, to establish a relationship with the Source of Holiness. We work to be kind to each other, to help each other, to strengthen each other and all humankind.

A few of the rules of the holy order are given in our Torah portion:  Revere your parents, don’t worship idols, leave harvest gleanings to the poor and strangers, don’t steal, don’t deny the truth, don’t swear falsely by the Divine name, don’t cheat other, don’t rob, pay your workers on time, don’t curse the deaf, or put stumbling block before the blind – you shall revere God. No perversion in justice: don’t the favor the poor or honor the great, but judge with righteousness. Don’t gossip, don’t stand idly by in the blood of your neighbor, don’t hate others in your heart.  Make sure to hold others accountable, otherwise you share in their wrongdoing. Don’t take revenge or bear a grudge against the others in the holy order, for people in general, for that matter. Love each other as yourself.

When you sign up for this United Israelite Fellowship of the Six-Pointed Heart of the Star, you get your own set of tassels, made of pure white strands of cotton with one thread of sky blue, tied into special symbolic knots. The knots we will be explained to you. You’ll wear these tassels every day.

You’ll make an inscription on your doors and gates. We’ll show you how.

You’ll eat a certain way, and mark time a certain way. You’ll engage in a daily ritual, uniting head and heart, uniting thinking and feeling, uniting intellectual and physical power, dedicating it all to the Holy God who has called you into holiness.

You’ll be told the sacred stories, and you should memorize them. We will set times for gatherings – you should study and attend. You’ll be taught practices of cultivating mind, soul, and spirit, and you’ll be expected to practice them.

You’ll rest once a week, connect with other members of the holy order, discuss and teach the nature of this order, understands its rules and stories, and contemplate together the divine source of holiness.

Not every practice of mind, soul and spirit will mean as much to you as another, but you’ll try all of them as you find the ones that sing directly into your soul. You’ll work this path with all your heart, soul and might. Take it seriously. A lot of effort has been put into forging this path and keeping it alive. Honor it. Earn it.

And you will learn that part of the founding self-understanding of this Holy Order is a story of liberation and a story of the revelation of the rules of the holy order of the United Israelite Fellowship of the Six-Pointed Heart of the Star. You will study the connection between the liberation and the revelation.

Here is the caveat:  You will encounter a force within you that does not want to measure up to the demands of this holy order. This force will cause you to become cynical of the beliefs and become ornery to each other. In fact, one reason this order was established was to expose that hidden force of resistance to what is good and true, and bring it out into the foreground. That hidden force plots, plans and paces deep in the inner chambers of human beings.  That hidden force ruins lives and can ruin everything. We are dedicated to taming it. That hidden force is terrified of this Holy Order. We are in constant battle with in. You’ll discover that we are a Holy Order of spiritual warriors. We’ll teach you how to fight the hidden force of resistance to all that is true and good, but you’ll have to train. In fact, much of what we do is train. You’ll see.

We have alliances with many other Holy Orders, dedicated to fighting resistance to what is right, and true and beautiful. We all share what we know.

What do you get out of it?  A life of holiness with other seekers and warriors of the Holy. If you think you measure up, contact a member of the order and they’ll walk you through it.

Be Holy – The Holy Order of the Heart of the Six Pointed Star Read More »

Harvard President Won’t Comment on Crimson Editorial Endorsing BDS, But Expresses Opposition to “Academic Boycotts”

Harvard University President Lawrence Bacow has declined to comment on the Harvard Crimson’s recent editorial endorsing the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) movement but has voiced his opposition to general boycotts of Israel.

The Washington Free Beacon reported that during a meeting on May 3, Harvard Professor Eric Nelson told Bacow that over the past the couple of weeks, the Harvard Jewish community was “confronted with a massive display, allowed to stand throughout the Passover holiday in the middle of Harvard Yard, declaring with willful absurdity that ‘Zionism is white supremacy’ and using Holocaust imagery to suggest that Israel is to the Palestinians what the Nazis were to the Jews,” said Nelson. “The student group responsible for this display likewise invited to campus as a featured speaker Norman Finkelstein, who has made his negligible name by defending Holocaust denial. Then came the repeated vandalism of posters put up by Jewish students in response to these outrages, which in turn may or may not have been connected to the appearance of a swastika etched into a bulletin board in [the student dormitory] Currier House.” Additionally, the Crimson “officially pronounced itself to be in full support of this eruption of anti-Semitism on our campus and has furthermore called upon Harvard to join the BDS movement directed against the State of Israel,” Nelson said, asking Bacow on how the university should respond.

Bacow replied to Nelson by saying that he won’t comment on the editorial because “it is independent of the university, and, I think it is fair to say, the Crimson does not represent, or certainly the editorial board does not represent, the views of the university. The Crimson editorial board represents the views of the Crimson editorial board.  We believe in a free press.” Regarding the recent antisemitic incidents on campus, Bacow said: “I would hope that every member of our community would condemn hatred and bigotry on our campus in any form, whether or not it appears as a swastika or a noose.  Second, I think it is fair to say that I have been disappointed in the quality of discourse that we have seen expressed on campus on a variety of issues.  I would hope that we could model the behavior that we would like to see in the rest of the world when we discuss difficult, challenging issues. Universities are places where we should be able to debate the great issues of the day and to do so with civility and respect.  Calls to endorse individual or particular positions on these issues do not encourage debate; they actually quash it.”

Bacow concluded his response to Nelson by stating: “Let me be unambiguously clear: I think academic boycotts have absolutely no place at Harvard, regardless of who they target.”

The Crimson editorial endorsing BDS has come under fire. Former Harvard President Lawrence Summers denounced the editorial in a May 3 New York Sun op-ed and called for “all members of the Harvard community, including its current leadership, to make clear their righteous opposition to BDS’s antisemitism and those organizations who support it.”

Harvard Law Professor Emeritus Alan Dershowitz told the Free Beacon that the editorial “reflects a deep bias and ignorance of history” and is “sloppy journalism.” “One striking example is that it refers to Israeli police killing Palestinians, without mentioning that most of the Palestinians who were killed were engaged in terrorism against Israeli civilians,” he said.

Dershowitz elaborated further in a Letter to the Editor published in the Crimson on May 6, stating that while criticism of Israel is not inherently antisemitic, the editorial crossed the line into antisemitism because it indirectly supported “the end of Israel and its replacement by a Palestinian state ‘from the river to the sea.’ That is the goal of the BDS movement.” He added that BDS Co-Founder Omar Barghouti “refused to debate me precisely because I am a Jew who supports Israel’s existence? BDS singles out one nation from among the many with serious human rights issues, namely the nation-state of the Jewish people? That is antisemitism.”

The Harvard Law Professor Emeritus went onto argue that “no country faced with dangers comparable to those faced by Israel – both internal threats of terrorism and external threats of nuclear annihilation by Iran —has a better record of human rights, compliance with the rule of law, and concern for the lives of enemy civilians. Israel’s record is not perfect, but it is better than other nations facing comparable threats.” Dershowitz also noted that “no country in recent history has made peace with more of its enemies than Israel: Egypt, Jordan, Morocco, United Arab Emirates, and others” and that Israel has offered to provide statehood to the Palestinians several times through its existence, yet every time the Palestinians have rejected the offers.

Dershowitz further criticized the editorial for saying that Israeli government policies are an impediment to a two-state solution, but omitted the fact that the BDS movement opposes a two-state solution. Even Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas doesn’t support boycotting Israel, Dershowitz wrote. “Were this editorial submitted as a course paper, it would deserve a grade of C- — with grade inflation,” he wrote “Not for its points of view, but for its lack of honesty and selective presentation and omission of facts.”

Natalie L. Kahn, Associate News Editor for the Crimson and President of Harvard Hillel, also expressed her opposition to the editorial in a May 3 Crimson op-ed. “How many members of the Editorial Board can tell me the story of Israel’s history — numerous peace treaties the Palestinians have rejectedhuman shields used by Hamas to gaslight Israel, and thousands of Israeli civilians murdered by terrorists?” she asked. “What about the millions of dollars used by the Palestinian Authority in the West Bank for the “Pay to Slay” Program, rewarding terrorists for crimes against Israelis?”

She added: “Israel is not perfect, nor is any other country. But this editorial is part of a larger trend of singling out Jews, conveniently neglecting our half of the story — and by extension our right to self-determination — while claiming to ‘oppose antisemitism.’” Kahn wrote that despite her disagreement with the editorial, she will not be resigning from the paper.

Harvard President Won’t Comment on Crimson Editorial Endorsing BDS, But Expresses Opposition to “Academic Boycotts” Read More »

The Journey of a People, the Creation of a Nation, the Sorrow and the Celebration—From Passover to Independence Day

The below is adapted from a speech given at my synagogue’s celebration of the transition from Yom Hazikaron (Israel’s Memorial Day) to Yom Ha’atzmaut (Israel’s Independence Day).

We have now arrived at the end of an incredible three weeks. A period of time that starts with Passover and ends with Yom Ha’atzmaut.

On Passover, we retell and relive the figurative birth of the Jewish people as a nation, the creation of “Am Yisrael” (the “people of Israel”) and we conclude our Passover Seder as we have done for millennia with the famous words, “Shana Haba’a Be’Yerushalayim” (“next year in Jerusalem’), making Passover arguably our most Zionist religious holiday.

It’s no accident that shortly after Passover we go through the incredible and turbulent rollercoaster of emotions of Yom HaShoah (Israel’s Holocaust Remembrance Day), Yom Hazikaron and Yom Ha’atzmaut.

Yom Hazikaron is a reminder of the cost we have paid, and sadly continue to pay, in order to have a Jewish State, while Yom HaShoah is a reminder of the cost of not having a Jewish State.

In honor of Yom Hazikaron, I watched a special from Channel 11 in Israel (Kan 11) featuring one of my favorite musicians, Hanan Ben Ari.

In the special, Ben Ari, one of Israel’s most popular and successful singers and songwriters, met with children of some of the men who recently died serving in the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF). Ben Ari spoke with the children about the loss they experienced, and he composed songs with the children to honor their fathers.

One of the children interviewed had lost her father, who was a helicopter pilot. As she described her father and why he chose to continue to serve in a combat role long after he had to, she also spoke movingly about her sapta (grandmother)—about how she was a Holocaust survivor and how her grandmother’s experiences and losses always served as a motivating factor for her dad.

In that moment, on the screen appeared an image of her sapta at an Israeli Air Force ceremony, with her arm, bearing a Nazi concentration camp tattoo, waving up at her son (this girl’s father) flying in an Israeli Air Force helicopter above her.

What a powerful image.

When I saw it, I was immediately struck by how incredibly this image encapsulates and exemplifies both the miracle of, as well as the need for, Israel.

It also reminded me of a moment back in June of 1982, when Menachem Begin famously said, to then U.S. Senator Biden (who was threatening Begin that the U.S. might cut off aid to Israel):

“I am not a Jew with trembling knees. I am a proud Jew with 3,700 years of civilized history. Nobody came to our aid when we were dying in the gas chambers and ovens. Nobody came to our aid when we were striving to create our country. We paid for it. We fought for it. We died for it. We will stand by our principles. We will defend them. And, when necessary, we will die for them again, with or without your aid.”

In that statement, Menachem Begin provided me—as a then 18-year-old about to join the IDF—with the verbal equivalent of that image of the Israeli Air Force pilot and his Holocaust survivor mother waving at him. It was the very essence of why we have a Yom Hashoah, a Yom Hazikaron, immediately followed by a Yom Ha’atzmaut, where we exuberantly celebrate the return of Jewish independence and sovereignty in the land of Israel.

Seeing that sapta with the concentration camp tattoo on her arm, made me think about my sapta, who along with my saba (grandfather), helped to found Kibbutz Tirat Zvi near Beit She’an in 1937. While she was, as ardent Zionist, literally draining swamps and getting malaria over and over again, the rest of her family remained in the European Diaspora.

My sapta did not yet know it, but by the time WW2 was over she had lost every one of her family members to the Nazis. From her parents and her baby sister, all the way to her third cousins, because she was in Eretz Yisrael she was the only person in her family to survive the Nazis’ planned “final solution.”

Over one third of the world’s Jews, including everyone in my sapta’s family were murdered in barely five years because, as Menachem Begin said, there was no sovereign Jewish country to fight for us, or even one willing to provide us with a safe haven.

A mere three years after the Nazis failed at their final solution, my sapta and saba and every one of the people living in Kibbutz Tirat Tzvi were facing another enemy determined to wipe them off the map. This time it was the Arab Liberation Army put together by Fawzi al-Qawugji.

The battle for Tirat Tzvi, which was fought on February 20, 1948, is viewed by many historians as the first official battle of Israel’s War of Independence. And in many ways, it exemplifies Israel’s entire War of Independence.

In the battle for Tirat Tzvi, a tiny kibbutz with only three dozen adults of fighting age, fought off a far larger and well-armed enemy sworn to destroy it. Just as Israel, with little more than 600,000 citizens, fought off five Arab armies and multitudes of Arab militias, representing an Arab League with over 75 million citizens, in order to win Israel’s War of Independence.

This may explain why Ben Gurion famously said, “In Israel, in order to be a realist, you must believe in miracles.”

Today, notwithstanding how miraculous Israel’s very survival was in 1948, most of us are now used to the idea of a strong and successful Israel.

But the Yom HaShoah and Yom Hazikaron sirens that ring throughout the country and stop everyone in their tracks in Israel are there to remind us that this reality is nothing short of the miracle Ben-Gurion described (and that Israel’s war of Independence exemplified), and that while it may be our “normal,” in the history of the Jewish people it is a very “new normal.”

It is a normal that we should never take for granted and that we should understand is not only necessary to prevent future Holocausts, but was also hard-earned with the blood and sacrifice of heroes—many heroes.

This is why Israel’s founders designed Yom Ha’atzmaut to immediately follow Yom Hazikaron—so that all of us, before we turn to the joy of celebrating sovereignty and freedom in our indigenous, historical and religious homeland, as well as us having that safe haven (which Jewish history has tragically proven is so necessary), we pay homage to those who sacrificed and lost so much in order for Jews to have our miracle of a state, after nearly 2000 years of dreaming, longing and praying for it (including at the end of every Passover Seder).

After nearly 2000 years of exile, after nearly 2000 years of persecution, out of the ashes of the Holocaust, the worst attempted genocide in modern history, we, the Jewish people have our own state. It is a miracle worth celebrating joyfully and gratefully.

After nearly 2000 years of exile, after nearly 2000 years of persecution, out of the ashes of the Holocaust, the worst attempted genocide in modern history, we, the Jewish people have our own state.

But when we think about the totality of Jewish history—our journey to becoming a people and receiving a national identity as well as a purpose at Mount Sinai; our development of our nation-state and our indigenous culture and language in the land of Israel for over a thousand years; our repeated battles against Babylonian, Greek and Roman colonialism; our brutal defeat by the Romans; and the fact that we have maintained, unlike other nations defeated by the Romans, our tribal faith, culture and language for nearly 2000 years—it is clear that when it comes to Jewish history, the expression “against all odds” is an extraordinary understatement.

The fact that the Jewish people not only have a sovereign state, but also that state is today ranked by U.S. News and World Report as the eighth most powerful country on earth, with the ninth happiest population according to the UN is, again, nothing short of miraculous.

It is a miracle that all of us are blessed to witness and to play a role in as a part of Am Yisrael. May each of us, to the best of our abilities, continue to play a role in that miracle.

Chag Atzmaut Sameach. Happy Independence Day.

The Journey of a People, the Creation of a Nation, the Sorrow and the Celebration—From Passover to Independence Day Read More »

A Yom Ha’atzmaut Reflection and Response

Last week, several of the children on the Harvard Crimson Editorial Board officially endorsed the antisemitic BDS movement, specifically referencing the Palestine Solidarity Committee, an organization that proudly displays a banner reading “Zionism is Racism Settler Colonialism White Supremacy Apartheid.”

Unfortunately for them, words have meaning, and every word in that sentence is nonsensically wrong. But instead of explaining for the umpteenth time what Zionism isn’t, in honor of Israel’s birthday here is what Zionism is.

Zionism is the movement for the re-establishment, and now the development and protection, of a sovereign Jewish nation in its ancestral homeland. It is not just a political movement; for the vast majority of Jewish people across time and space, Zionism is and always has been an integral part of their Jewish, often religious, identities.

For thousands of years, Jews across the world have prayed to God at least three times a day for a safe return to Zion. The Pentateuch itself references this ancient Jewish hope while the Prophets and Writings repeatedly record this ambition. Over half of the biblical commandments are specifically tied to Israel, and belief in/hope for the return to Zion is part of the 13 Principles of Jewish Faith.

Jews were Zionists before there were Muslims, and even before there were Christians. In multiple places throughout the New Testament, for example, the yearning for redemption is expressed in terms of the familiar and by-then-already-classic formulation of Jewish Zionism (see Matthew 21:5 and John 12:15, paraphrasing Zechariah 9:9). The Quran itself is also quite clear about the long history of Jews in the Holy Land—and especially in Jerusalem. (See, for example, Surah Bani Isra’il, verses 1-7). While it is true that the Jews were twice expelled from their ancient kingdom of Israel, it is also true that they never fully left; since biblical times there has always been a Jewish community living in the eternal Jewish homeland. In the late-19th and early-20th centuries, Jews from around the world came to buy and cultivate land to further expand those existing Jewish communities that had remained in Israel as a continuous presence throughout all of the exiles.

On Yom Ha’atzmaut it is worth remembering that Israel’s legitimacy is not rooted in the beneficence of others; the Jewish people’s rightful claims to the land long predate the United Nations and precede the horrors of the Holocaust. Israel’s modern re-birthday commemorates when other nations recognized our Zionistic determination. But no one ever gave Israel to the Jews, and no one can ever take her away.

Israel’s modern re-birthday commemorates when other nations recognized our Zionistic determination. But no one ever gave Israel to the Jews, and no one can ever take her away.

As it relates to the editorial, any form of “anti-Zionism” that calls for discrimination against Jewish people or their allies because of their support for the biblical/prophetic/historical/ethnic/cultural/Jewish ideal of Zionism is antisemitic. That is demonstrably what the BDS movement does, as one brave student dared write in dissent.

As described in Israel’s national anthem, “Hatikvah” (literally, “The Hope”), Zionism represents the aspiration of moving toward an ideal. Of course, Israel is not perfect, and it is fine to criticize the country. But as the only democracy in the Middle East that protects the rights of all peoples and religions, Israel has a lot to teach the world about the dignity of difference, the power of coexistence, and the strength that comes from tolerance. Israel’s narrative should be empowering, with a focus on the valuable principles Israel consistently models, including civil liberties, religious freedom and a healthy self-respect that marries an undeterred optimism for peace with an unapologetic need for guaranteed national security.

Too often Jews are put on the defensive, responding to the shameful crimson claims of the inexcusably ill-informed. Sometimes we forget the simplistic beauty of what Zionism actually stands for.

It was “Zionist rhetoric,” stories of the city on a hill and a promised land, that inspired the Founding Fathers and later the leaders of the Civil Rights movement to try to make our world a better place. Birthdays are a time for reflection and appreciation, and whether they realize it or not as they sit in the comfort of their Zionist-inspired freedoms (likely typing on computers full of Israeli-made technology,) the Crimson editors should be wishing Israel a happy birthday and thanking God for her existence.


Dr. Mark Goldfeder, Esq. is an international lawyer and Director of the National Jewish Advocacy Center

A Yom Ha’atzmaut Reflection and Response Read More »

Jewish Groups Condemn Elad Terror Attack

Jewish groups issued condemnations of the latest terror attack in Israel as well as their condolences to the victims and their families.

The attack took place in the Haredi-dominated city of Elad on May 5, Israel’s Independence Day. It reportedly involved two Palestinian terrorists armed with an axe and a knife killing three people and injuring at least four others. The terrorists have been identified as As’ad Yousef As’ad al-Rifa’i, 19, and Subhi Emad Subhi Abu Shqeir, 20. Both are from the Palestinian village Rumana––just northwest of Jenin in the West Bank––and reportedly entered Israel illegally through a gap in the West Bank security barrier. Residents were ordered to shelter in place until the two terrorists are caught.

The victims have been identified as Boaz Gol, who was in his 40s, Oren Ben Yiftah, 37, and Yonatan Havakuk, 40. The three men left behind 16 children. Havakuk’s widow wrote in a Facebook post that he had fought the terrorists so others could escape.

Israeli Prime Minister Naftali Bennett said in a statement, “Our enemies have set out on a campaign of murder against Jews. Their goal is to break our spirit, and they will fail. We’ll put our hands on the terrorists and their collaborators, and they will pay the price. I send my condolences from the depth of my heart to the families of the murdered.”

Israeli Foreign Minister Yair Lapid similarly said in a statement, “The joy of Independence Day is cut short in an instant. The murderous terror attack in Elad is terrifying to the heart and soul. Three murdered and another three wounded by lowly terrorists. I send condolences from the depth of my heart to the families that lost a loved one this evening, and pray with all of Israel for the safety of the injured.” He vowed that the Jewish state “will not let the terrorists scare us.” “The security forces will catch the murderers and stand them on trial,” Lapid said. “We will continue to fight together for our independence and the safety of Israeli citizens.”

United States Ambassador to Israel Tom Nides tweeted, “Heartbreaking end to Yom HaAtzmaut in Elad. I share the grief of families of those murdered in the terrorist attack & wish speedy recovery to the wounded. This must STOP!”

Jewish groups weighed in.

“We are following reports of a suspected terror attack in the Israeli city of Elad, killing 3,” the Anti-Defamation League tweeted. “Our hearts break for the victims, and our prayers go out to the injured. This terrorism is depraved and cowardly, especially as millions of Israelis celebrate #YomHaAtzmaut.”

The American Jewish Committee similarly tweeted, “As Israel celebrated its independence—a day after Yom HaZikaron—at least three people were murdered in a terror attack in the city of Elad. This is another reminder that even today, 74 years after its founding, Israel is still fighting for peace and stability.” In a subsequent tweet, they lobbied Congress “to continue to stand by Israel and strengthen the vital U.S.-Israel alliance as the Jewish state celebrates its 74th birthday.”

Rabbi Abraham Cooper, Associate Dean and Director of Global Social Action Agenda at the Simon Wiesenthal Center, said in a statement: “No current peace partner in Holy Land. Palestinian leadership continue to praise, support terrorists, and reward them and families for murdering and maiming Jews. It will stop when [the] world holds [the Palestinian] leadership accountable for their incitement and support for terrorism.”

StandWithUs Israel Executive Director Michael Dickson tweeted, “To be Israeli is a dizzying thing. We mourn our dead; we celebrate life with equal strength. Such is the transition between Remembrance and Independence Day. This year a deadly attack plunges us back into mourning immediately. We grieve deeply, but resolve to survive and thrive.”

B’nai Brith International tweeted, “As #Israel celebrates its Independence Day, and following the day of remembrance of fallen soldiers and victims of terrorism, we are heartbroken by yet another deadly attack that killed 3 in Elad – in a suspected terror attack.”

J Street that the terror attack was “horrific and heartbreaking.” “This must stop,” they wrote. “There can be no justification for such violence. Our hearts are with the victims and their families and we hope the injured make a full recovery.”

Americans for Peace Now tweeted that they “strongly” condemn the terror attack. “We send condolences to the victims and wish fast and full recovery to the injured,” they wrote. “We stand in solidarity with the people of Israel.”

The European Leadership Network (ELNET) tweeted that the “heinous terror attack” occurred “a day after Memorial Day for fallen soldiers & terror victims. Hamas cynically ties attack to Temple Mount despite Israel consistently upholding the status quo.”

American Jewish Committee Managing Director of Public Affairs Avi Mayer tweeted that Palestinians in the Gaza Strip were handing out sweets in celebration of the Elad terror attack. “Various propagandists claimed several weeks ago, when Palestinians were handing out sweets to celebrate the deadly terror attack in Tel Aviv, that they were merely marking the end of that day’s Ramadan fast,” Mayer wrote. “That was obviously a lie, as we all knew it was. And here’s the proof.”

Both Hamas and Islamic Jihad praised the terror attack. Joe Truzman, a research analyst for the Foundation for Defense of Democracies’ (FDD) Long War Journal, tweeted that Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar had recently “called on more attacks against Israelis whether by cleaver, gun, axe or knife.” “Difficult to ignore the connection between Yahya Sinwar’s recent urging to murder Israelis & tonight’s terrorist attack in Elad,” he wrote.

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Our Divisive Search for Holiness

It is both the cause of exceptional inspiration and nasty dispute. The commandment at the beginning of our parsha, “kedoshim tehiyu” (“you shall be holy”),  touches the soul but confuses the intellect. Our potential for holiness is enthralling, but what exactly is holiness? The lack of clarity opens the door for multiple interpretations, and every commentary seems to have an alternate explanation of what “you shall be holy”means. Some see holiness as a radical, otherworldly pursuit. The Ramban connects holiness to asceticism, and says this commandment asks us to exercise personal restraint and diminish physical pleasure in general. Others argue that holiness begins in the heart and is based on one’s ambitions and attitudes. Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch says it exhorts us to “strive and endeavor to reach the highest degree of human moral perfection.” The Meshech Chochmah sees holiness as the act of devotion, for “the very definition of ‘holy’ is to give something over to a higher realm, and (in this case) it is that one devotes themself completely to the service of God.” The Rashbam has a simple, no-frills definition of holiness: Keep all the commandments listed in the coming parsha, and you will be holy. You simply need to follow the mitzvot carefully, and that is holy enough. No need for extra piety or practices.

While these interpretations sit together nicely on the same page of our chumashim, they have been the cause of much upheaval throughout history. Religious passion very often leads to religious battles, and the open-ended nature of the commandment “you shall be holy” invites dispute.

A prime example of this is the Musar controversy of the late-19th and early-20th centuries, which divided communities and destroyed friendships. One of the leading yeshivot in Lithuanian Jewry, the Slabodka Yeshiva, split during the controversy. Some of the episodes in this battle were particularly shocking. In 1904 and 1905, (which were years of revolution in Russia), an anti-Musar student pulled a gun on a rabbi of the Slabodka yeshiva, and another group of students gathered all the Yeshiva’s Musar books and tossed them into the sewage-filled latrines.

At first glance, this controversy seems extremely strange. The Musar movement was dedicated to ethical and spiritual growth. How could something so innocuous start a battle that lasted over 30 years?

The Musar movement began with an intellectual giant, Rabbi Yisroel Salanter, who was concerned by what he saw as a lack of character in the Jewish community. Rabbi Yisroel would explain the importance of Musar by recounting an incident that occurred to him one Yom Kippur eve. In the synagogue that night, he saw a man reciting the Al Chet prayer. (Al Chet is a list of every possible sin, some quite remote, written to ensure that everyone’s confession on Yom Kippur is thorough.) The man was praying with incredible intensity and had tears rolling down his cheeks. Rabbi Yisroel approached the man, hoping to join him in this moving prayer. But when Rabbi Yisroel came near, the man violently pushed him away! As Rabbi Yisroel would put it, the man was crying about sins he never committed, but had no idea what Yom Kippur was all about.

To fill this communal gap in moral and spiritual development, Rabbi Yisroel began to advocate for the study of Musar; books of Musar had been part of rabbinic literature for centuries but were often neglected. Rabbi Yisroel also felt that the study of Musar was not enough, because dry, intellectual study would not bring about change. So, he created immersive techniques. He instituted separate “Musar houses,” where everyone was devoted to Musar, and where there were intense, inspirational talks on the topic. People were encouraged to undertake a serious self-examination and engage in self-criticism. There were additional techniques that were unusual, such as discussing death, repeating specific phrases over and over, and intentionally becoming emotional during the study of Musar. Taken together, these techniques would engage a person on a deeper level and help them transform themselves. (Rabbi Yechiel Yaakov Weinberg argues that many decades before Freud, Rabbi Yisroel understood the importance of the human unconscious, which does not readily respond to reason alone.)

The opposition to Musar had two primary themes. First, there was opposition to perceived extremism in the Musar movement. The most famous statement of Musar’s opponents was a public letter by nine prominent Lithuanian rabbis, which was published on May 10, 1897. In it, the rabbis criticized Musar methods as phony and artificial; it was mere religious theater, which enabled otherwise ignorant students who excelled at Musar methods to be considered role models. They also criticized the method of repeating phrases, deriding the way it was done “with great and terrible cries, with a grief filled, bitter voice, in a sad melody, accompanied by weird and strange movements.”

In other letters, critics took aim at Rabbi Yosef Yozel Horwitz, the founder of the Novardok Yeshiva. Rabbi Yosef Yozel was a well-known Musar personality, who had abandoned his home and business to study with Rabbi Yisroel Salanter. When Rabbi Yosef Yozel’s wife passed away, he left his children with relatives, and enclosed himself in a room. His meals were passed in through two windows, one for meat and the other for milk; he did not leave the room for nearly two years. The yeshiva Rabbi Yosef Yozel later established reflected his personality and included strange and extreme practices as well. Students at Novardok shared all belongings in common; they would intentionally act strangely, such as wearing clothing inside out or making bizarre requests in stores to invite the insults of others. Critics of Musar wrote dismissively of “the one with windows”; the strange behavior associated with Musar, and the Novardok Yeshiva in particular, was unacceptable to them.

The other concern with the Musar movement is that it considered Musar more important than Torah. For many in Lithuanian Jewry, the tradition of pure Torah study, Torah lishmah, was the very essence of Judaism. Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik explains that this concern motivated the opposition of his grandfather and great-grandfather to Musar. Rabbi Soloveitchik writes that “one must not waste time on spiritual self-appraisal, on probing introspections, and on the picking away at the ‘sense’ of sin. Such a psychic analysis brings man neither to fear nor to love of God, nor, most fundamental of all, to the knowledge and cognition of the Torah … Man’s entire psychic being must be committed to the regime of the cognition of halakhah.” To Rabbi Soloveitchik, Musar was rejected because it replaced Torah at the center of Jewish practice.

These two camps, for and against Musar, were searching for the correct path to holiness. And this highlights how divisive the commandment of “you shall be holy” can be. Is holiness simply following the Torah, or does it require extreme and extraordinary behavior? Is holiness found in embracing halakhah, or changing one’s inner outlook? Both sides in the Musar controversy pursued holiness; but at the same time, their passion for holiness led to intense anger and debate.

As the Jewish world becomes more diverse, there is a need for a different approach to holiness. We need to learn how to be connoisseurs of holiness, rather than critics. When confronting those with a viewpoint different from our own, we need to take a moment to appreciate their idealism and passion before criticizing them and stretch our souls to recognize goodness wherever it may be. Perhaps this is why the commandment “you shall be holy” is so vague; there will be 70 faces to holiness, and it is our obligation to cherish all of them.

We need to learn how to be connoisseurs of holiness, rather than critics.

This past week on Yom Hazikaron, I was thinking of an anecdote that reflects what authentic appreciation of holiness is. Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach was the leader of the ultra-Orthodox Yeshiva world in Israel for much of the 20th century. When a student asked his permission to take a short leave from the Yeshiva in Jerusalem to travel up north to pray at the “graves of the righteous,” Rabbi Auerbach told the student that he didn’t need to travel to visit holy graves; the student could cross the road and go to Mount Herzl, the military cemetery of the IDF, where there are the graves of holy soldiers who gave their lives to protect the people of Israel.

This insight is particularly powerful because even those of us in the religious-Zionist community would probably turn first to visit the graves of great rabbis to pray. Yet Rabbi Shlomo Zalman knew otherwise; he appreciated holiness wherever it was found. And it is certainly found at the graves of holy soldiers on Mount Herzl.


Rabbi Chaim Steinmetz is the Senior Rabbi of Congregation Kehilath Jeshurun in New York.

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