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Jewish Journal

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April 17, 2013

Obituaries

Leave a Comment / California, Obituaries /

Judith Aarons died March 12 at 65. Survived by husband Michael; sons Brett (Lenka), Kelly; 4 grandchildren; father Allan Adler; sisters Edie Bogoff, Melony (Gary) Linza, Terry (Bill) Rogoway; brother Craig Adler. Mount Sinai

Leonard Adelman died March 6 at 90. Survived by wife Belle; son Alan (Juanita); 2 grandchildren; and brother Seymour. Mount Sinai

Ida Ardell died March 17 at 100. Survived by daughter Elaine Brandenburg; son Gene (Sharon); 3 grandchildren; 3 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Gerald Belinkoff died March 11 at 74. Survived by partner Daniel Fidelman; brother Alan (Sigrid). Mount Sinai

Edwin Berman died March 12 at 68. Survived by brother Myer (Joan); 2 nieces. Mount Sinai

Lillian Bloom died March 8 at 89. Survived by son Perry. Mount Sinai

Charles Brucker died March 6 at 90. Survived by wife Rita; daughters Linda Dreyfuss, Michelle (Joe) Millstone, Maria; son Barry (Sue); 8 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Anne Cherman died March 8 at 103. Survived by sons Mel (Marilyn), Stephen; 4 grandchildren; 10 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Roslyn Collender died March 9 at 96. Survived by sons Jack (Ellen), Michael (Phyllis), Robert (Susan); 4 grandchildren. Malinow and Silverman 

Zvia Devito died March 7 at 70. Survived by daughter Sharon (Sanford); son Tomer; 5 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Arlene Dick died March 13 at 75. Survived by son Leonard (Lisa); 3 grandchildren; brother Murray Balshin. Mount Sinai

Ronald Drucker died March 15 at 79. Survived by wife Sari; daughter Pamela (Lindsay Mann) Drucker Mann; son David (Jennifer); 3 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Marcia Edmond died March 7 at 75. Survived by husband Stanley; sons Donald (Susan), H. Allen (Dawn), Richard (Valerie); 4 grandchildren; sister Jackie (Peter) Kuyper; brother H. Edward Silver. Mount Sinai

Linda Gabriel died March 20 at 64. Survived by husband Allan; daughters Allyson (Jeremy Blumberg), Amanda (Randy Mitzman), Melissa (Jordan Cassel); 2 grandchildren. 

Abraham Greenwald died March 16 at 100. Survived by daughter Ethel Epstein; son Steven (Shelley); 2 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Beverly Handler died March 21 at 87. Survived by son Edward (Fran); 4 grandchildren.

Jacob Hershkowitz died March 5 at 77. Survived by wife Miriam; daughter Smadar (Mordechai) Hershkowitz-Brafman; sons Alon (Ana), Eric (Sandy), Isaac (Mira); 6 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Gertrude Horwitz died March 10 at 97. Survived by son David (Estelle); 7 grandchildren; 4 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Rose Josephson died March 18 at 99. Survived by daughter Bonnie Lerner; cousin Arnold Gillis. Mount Sinai

Adam Krispow died March 11 at 89. Survived by son Jeff (Paula); 2 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Robert Lieberman died March 9 at 72. Survived by wife Susan; son Matthew; brother William London. Malinow and Silverman 

Martin Mandell died March 7 at 94. Survived by sons Lee, Rick. Malinow and Silverman  

Sidney Papel died March 10 at 93. Survived by son Richard Papel. Mount Sinai

Ezra Parsakar died March 13 at 87. Survived by wife Farzaneh; son Simon. Malinow and Silverman  

Carl Reitzenstein died March 20 at 91. Survived by wife Miriam; daughter Anne (Larry) Hopp; son Henry (Cindy); 4 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Sylvia Rothschild died March 9 at 90. Survived by daughter Melanie (Larry Garf); 2 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Fira Salganik died March 8 at 86. Survived by husband Efim Salganik; daughter Ada Rozenblat; 2 grandchildren; 1 great-grandchild. Mount Sinai

Louisca Seidel died March 13 at 92. Survived by sons Arthur, Ernest (Diane), Ken; 7 grandchildren; 7 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Selma Shpall died March 16 at 77. Survived by husband Murray; sons David, Joel (Marina); 1 grandchild. Mount Sinai

Rani Sitty died March 13 at 33. Survived by mother Dasi; father Eli; brothers Barrak, Gal. Mount Sinai

Jerome Urfrig died March 12 at 75. Survived by wife Suzanne; daughter Julianne (Neal) Shanblatt; son Stuart (Shelly); 5 grandchildren; mother Anne; sister Wendy (Michael) Temple; brother Donald (Carole). Mount Sinai

Sarah Weiner died March 13 at 84. Survived by son Michael (Irene) Jarett; 4 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Albert Weiss died March 6 at 92. Survived by daughter Diane. Malinow and Silverman 

Gail Willingham died March 9 at 74. Survived by husband Bob; daughters Gloria (Richard) Frankie, Diane Gordon. Mount Sinai

Renee Zamost died March 9 at 77. Survived by daughter Tracy; son Donald (Nanette); daughter-in-law Diane; 5 grandchildren.

Maria Zelyony died March 7 at 89. Survived by son Michael. Mount Sinai

Sandra Zimmerman died March 13 at 58. Survived by husband Harry; sons Evan, Zachary; brother Harold (Amy) Masor. Mount Sinai

Obituaries Read More »

About

Leave a Comment / Blogs, Health, Mobile, Mobile Sections, News /

Mark Eshman is co-founder, Chairman and Chief Investment Officer of ClearRock Capital.  ClearRock's mission is to grow clients' money, not their anxiety.  They serve wealthy families, women investors, foundations/endowments, and 401-k plans through sound financial planning and a proprietary investment platform using low-cost index funds.  Mark Eshman brings over 30 years of experience in the financial services industry to the firm. In addition to managing client relationships, he oversees the core investment strategies of the firm.

In 2000, Mark opened a branch office for Smith Barney in Sun Valley, Idaho where he managed portfolios for private families, non-profit organizations, trusts, estates, and retirement plans. He consistently ranked among the most productive advisers in the firm.

In 1990, he joined Dabney/Resnick/Wagner, a boutique broker/dealer, where he was a partner responsible for private clients. In 1981, Mark joined the Beverly Hills, California office of Drexel Burnham Lambert where he became a Vice President and shareholder.

He has served on non-profit boards for over 25 years, and currently serves as Chairman of the Ketchum Urban Renewal Agency.

He received an A.B. in Public Policy from Duke University, and studied Economics and Art History at the University of London.

About Read More »

8 SUPER FAST Ways to Lose Weight for Summer

Leave a Comment / Blogs, Health, Mobile, Mobile Sections, News /

Believe the hype! Fast ways to lose weight do exist! In fact, you might be surprised at how many quick, effective ways to lose weight quickly there actually are. All you need to do is read and implement:

1. Prepare Your Own Meals
Preparing your own meals is the #1 step in fast and successful weight loss. This way you can control your portions, that are usually two to three times larger in restaurants. Start simple by making one meal a day. (ie: breakfast) A nutritious yet low-calorie breakfast, like oatmeal or eggs with yogurt or fresh fruit on the side.

2. Eat Normal Serving Sizes
It’s pretty important to know how much food a normal size serving is. One serving of meat or fish should be about the size of the inside of your palm. A serving of carbs should be the size of your fist. Open up both hands and your serving of veggies should fit right in there, and any healthy fats should be about the size of the top of your thumb. More importantly, if you feel full do not make yourself eat up everything you have on your plate. Your body knows when it’s the right time to stop.

3. Eat More Fiber
Fiber is absolutely essential for healthy weight loss! Your digestive system will run more smoothly, your body will be able to naturally detox, your metabolism will go up, and you will feel healthier overall. Make oatmeal your daily breakfast, and have a few vegetable salads during the day to get all the fiber you need, and you will be amazed at how fast those pounds start falling off!

4. DO NOT Skimp on Protein
It’s important to have a balanced diet when trying to lose weight FAST. Protein helps build muscle, and muscle burns fat! That’s why you need to make sure that you consume an adequate amount of protein with each meal. Eggs, white meat, and fish are always the best natural sources of protein. But if you are vegetarian, you might enjoy tofu, beans, asparagus, and quinoa. Protein helps you feel fuller, and repairs your muscles after workouts. As a bonus, it contributes to the beauty of your skin, nails, and hair.

5. Never Starve Yourself
This is a common mistake when trying to find a way to lose weight. I’ve been there, and from my personal experience I can tell you that skipping meals in order to lose weight DOES NOT WORK. First of all it’s distracting, as you can not stop thinking about food. Second of all, the few pounds I managed to lose came back in abundance the week I started eating normally again. The thing is, starving yourself immediately sends your body into “starvation mode” which basically means the body is trying to reserve the very same fat that we are trying to burn off. And don’t forget what a toll it takes on your overall health and your metabolism… Eek!

6. EAT 3 Small Meals and 2 Snacks Rather Than 3 Big Meals
The more often you eat, the less you eat and the less hungry you feel before each meal, which inevitably leads you to consuming less overall. Just make sure the 2 snacks you have in-between meals are actually healthy. Boiled eggs, a handful of almonds, an apple, a piece of string cheese, a Lara bar, or a piece of chicken breast will be the perfect choice.

7. Schedule Your Snacks
We’ve already covered the reasons why eating 5 times a day is an absolute must for all of us who want to lose weight fast and keep it off. What we also need to do is to make sure we snack on a schedule too! To make it easier to remember when to have your snacks, schedule them 3 hours after breakfast and before lunch, and 3 hours after lunch, which would also be about 3 hours before dinner. Eat at the same time every day and your body will know exactly when to expect its next meal. That translates to no unnecessary cravings, emotional eating, and off-schedule snacking, which are just a few things that prevent us from taking the weight off fast!

8. Don’t Bring the Enemy Home (AKA: Junk Food)
This is also one of the most effective ways to lose weight, ladies. Don’t buy junk food and don’t bring it home! It’s that easy! You won’t eat what you don’t have around. When I start craving french fries, for example, I simply microwave a nice big yam and sprinkle it with a little cinnamon (which is touted as a miracle spice, because it increases your metabolism). And for all the rest, make sure you do your shopping after a nice big healthy meal so you don’t reach for impulse items.

8 SUPER FAST Ways to Lose Weight for Summer Read More »

Party planning from A to Z

Leave a Comment / Bar & Bat Mitzvahs, Culture, News /

Preparing for a bar or bat mitzvah is hard work, involving years of intense study and the courage to lead an entire congregation in prayer. Organizing a party to celebrate this milestone — well, that’s no picnic either.

It can require meticulous planning and research so that the day represents the personality of the young person and is enjoyable for everyone. Before getting too caught up in the process, remember that the occasion is a religious observance for a 12- or 13-year-old, and the celebration should be consistent with such values. 

Where to begin? From the caterer to the DJ to your budget, here are some hints to help you get started. 

Thinking Ahead

Families should be members of a synagogue and enroll their child in Hebrew school three years prior to a bar or bat mitzvah. This will provide enough time for the serious preparation necessary for the big day — and for the celebration afterward. 

At Stephen S Wise Temple, a Reform congregation in Bel Air, b’nai mitzvah students pick a community service project they are passionate about a year in advance. 

“There needs to be focus on the meaning of the day and not getting too caught up in the celebration,” said Jennifer Smith, b’nai mitzvah and social justice coordinator at the synagogue. “Focus more on the ‘mitzvah’ and less on the ‘bar.’ ” 

It is possible to book the ceremony and celebration three years in advance, but one to two years ahead of time usually is sufficient. Choosing a date well in advance lessens the chance that your target date and time becomes unavailable. 

During this time, start thinking about your child’s style and what he or she thinks is important, so you can pick a theme that reflects this. 

First Things First

Once you have a date, estimate a general guest count and choose a desirable location. The number of guests can determine whether your venue is fitting. The first thing to reserve is the venue for the celebration and the caterer. If you don’t have these, then there’s no point in coordinating flowers, balloons and party favors. 

The date and location also are necessary information for the invitations, which should be sent out six to eight weeks prior to the event. If you book everything early enough, then it’s possible to send save-the-date cards to friends and family six to 12 months ahead of time. If you’ve already chosen a theme, this can also be incorporated into the invitations. 

How to Budget

Start by gauging a budget that is reasonable and prioritizing what is important to you. The party shouldn’t be about keeping up with the Joneses or require a large financial setback, but it should be carefully thought out. 

“People tend to think that they can do a lot of it on their own, but toward the last month or so they get overwhelmed,” said Vanessa Kovac, owner of 2K Event Productions.

Party planning from A to Z Read More »

A survival guide for parents of b’nai mitzvah kids

Leave a Comment / Bar & Bat Mitzvahs, Judaism, News /

So you’re planning a bar or bat mitzvah? Mazel tov! You may feel overwhelmed by decisions and details. I certainly did when it was time for my son, Steven, to take part in the ritual this past December. I asked experienced parents for advice and promised to “pay it forward” once I became a seasoned veteran. Here is some of the wisdom I gleaned, along with issues you’ll need to consider. 

Why Is This Day Different From All Other Days?

Before diving into logistics, pause to consider the meaning of the day. Your child is not having a bar mitzvah, he is becoming one — a child of the commandments who is now old enough to participate as an adult in Jewish ritual life. A Jewish child automatically becomes a bar or bat mitzvah upon coming of age, but by having a ceremony, you affirm your family’s link to those who have come before, and those yet to be.  

This event is a major milestone, whether you have one child or several. If you are fortunate, it will be a gathering of those you care about most from many facets of your life. That’s something to savor and appreciate.

This is not to say there won’t be family dynamics at play — there will. (Just ask my husband!) I recommend “Whose Bar/Bat Mitzvah Is This, Anyway?” by Judith Davis. It helps you understand and deal with the day’s emotional and psychological undercurrents. 

Also, be sure to take your child’s wishes and expectations into account, and include him in as many decisions as possible. Yes, parents have the ultimate say, but this day should be about your child, not impressing your business associates or Aunt Bernice from Brooklyn.

The Service

Although the celebration tends to involve more logistics, don’t overlook the service. It is, after all, what the day is all about. By giving it the attention it deserves, you can make the experience richer for you, your child and your guests. 

You will need to choose whom to honor with aliyot, ark openings and the like. These can be difficult decisions, especially when you have more potential honorees than honors. Be aware that different synagogues have different rules. For example, ours allows no more than two people to be called to the Torah at once. Find out about these things early. 

If you wish to include non-Jewish friends or family, an English reading can be a good option. Older siblings or cousins may wish to read a Torah portion; give them plenty of time to prepare. My husband, Neal, and I both read from the Torah at Steven’s bar mitzvah. We wanted him to know this was something important to us, and he could take solace in knowing that Mom and Dad also needed to study.

Consider preparing a program explaining Jewish rituals and customs. For example, some guests might not know that the Torah doesn’t include punctuation, vowels or trope marks (the symbols that indicate how the words are to be chanted). The program can include the names of honorees and their relationship to the bar mitzvah child.

Although your rabbi or another teacher will work with your child on his drash (speech), it doesn’t hurt to provide some resources ahead of time. Steven enjoyed watching G-dCast (g-dcast.com), short, animated cartoons about each Torah portion. While he eventually consulted more scholarly sources, it was helpful for starting him off and providing context. Try to get your child to relate something in the portion to his life and experiences. And if your child is like mine, he might respond better to another authority figure than to you. We recruited his religious school teacher to help him write his drash. 

Most synagogues require that b’nai mitzvah students complete a mitzvah/community service project. Encourage your child to do something meaningful and relevant to him. My son is a technology whiz, so he volunteered at the Culver City Senior Center’s computer lab. If you’re lucky, you can link the project to the child’s Torah portion. For example, if the portion talks about a famine, your child could collect food for the SOVA Community Food and Resource Program or another hunger relief organization.

The Celebration

Let’s talk about themes: Are they necessary? Isn’t the theme of a bar mitzvah, well, “bar mitzvah”? We struggled with this and ultimately decided to incorporate a theme that reflected Steven’s interests. 

A theme provides a fun way to give your event its own style and decor. With a little creative thought, you can probably link it to Judaism. Because Steven loves technology, we eventually came up with smart phone apps as our theme. We tied the idea to his bar mitzvah by creating apps such as Torah, Joseph (the protagonist in Steven’s Torah portion) and a menorah, because it took place during Chanukah.

Among the biggest decisions — and sources of stress — are the nature of the celebration and whom to include. Obviously, budget plays a role in these decisions. 

Will you have a luncheon right after the service? If so, will that be the sole celebration, or will you have an additional event that evening or the following day? Does your synagogue allow music on Shabbat? Photography? Do you have time and ability to do some things yourself or will you hire professionals?

Remember to consider your child’s preferences. I know a boy who dislikes dancing whose family held a reception at a bowling alley. For Steven’s bar mitzvah, we had a luncheon right after the service and an evening party for a smaller gathering consisting of Steven’s friends, our relatives and out-of town guests. It was difficult deciding whom to invite and worrying about offending those who weren’t invited. If you’re like me, you’ll lose sleep over this. A lot of sleep. You can only hope that people understand.

My son has attended a range of celebrations, including parties on a boat, at Dave & Buster’s, at Hillcrest Country Club and in a family’s home. Some had a DJ and dancing; others didn’t. He enjoyed them all.

What about swag? It can be fun to come up with a party favor that reflects your theme, but you may also decide that it’s an unnecessary expense. We skipped them — though we caved when it came to cheap, it-will-be-thrown-out-or-broken-by-morning novelties for the DJ to give away. -(RINovelty.com and WindyCityNovelties.com have great deals on things like glow-in-the-dark necklaces, funny hats and blinking rings.)

Beyond the Day

You’ve planned the service and the party, but you’re not done. Especially if you are having out-of-town guests, your celebration may not be limited to just the day of the bar mitzvah. You may want to host a Shabbat dinner on Friday night or a brunch on Sunday. Will you do this at your home? A hotel? The temple?  

Don’t forget transportation. If your guests are Shabbat observant, you’ll need to find lodging within walking distance of the synagogue. If they are not, you may need to arrange transportation to and from the synagogue, party and/or airport. 

Consider preparing a welcome packet for your guests. It can be as simple or elaborate as you’d like. Include a schedule of the weekend’s activities, bottled water and snacks.

Yes, it’s a lot of work. You’ll spend months planning this special day, and it will be over in a flash. But a bar mitzvah has the potential to be a transformative event for your child and your family — one that provides treasured memories for years to come.

Helpful Hints

• Talk to friends who have already been through it. They can offer perspective as well as referrals to DJs, photographers and
videographers. 

• Be organized. Use a binder or accordion file to keep papers, ideas and notes. 

• Make a comprehensive to-do list that includes due dates.  Check with your temple for important meetings.

• See what your child wants, and include him or her in as many decisions as possible.

• For the day of the bar mitzvah, have a list of all the things you need to bring with you, including tallit, kippot and speeches. Don’t forget bottled water.

• Banish all thoughts of logistics, and enjoy yourself on the big day. Trust the professionals to do their jobs, or delegate authority to a trusted friend or relative

A survival guide for parents of b’nai mitzvah kids Read More »

The Birthright Israel flip side: Fewer high school students traveling to Israel

Leave a Comment / Israel /

With the summer travel season fast approaching, providers of Israel programs for teenagers are bracing themselves for what several say could be a season of historically low travel in a year unaffected by major security concerns.

Over the past decade, Israel travel among those aged 13 to 18 has seen a dramatic falloff. Though exact figures are difficult to come by, leaders of several leading North American teen programs say they have seen drops of 30 percent to 50 percent in participation in their Israel trips since 2000. Two recent studies point to a roughly 40 percent drop in the number of North American 13- to 18 year-olds going to Israel.

“I think every year [the overall number of high schoolers going to Israel] is getting smaller and smaller,” said Avi Green, the executive director of BBYO Passport, a provider of travel programs for teens. “And there's no reason to believe this year won't be the smallest.”

Though leaders of teen programs acknowledge the role of Middle East violence during the second intifada and the 2007 financial crisis in depressing participation, they unanimously point to one central cause of the decline: Taglit-Birthright Israel, a program created to provide free Israel trips for Jews aged 18 to 26.

Founded in 2000 to counter the decline in Israel attachment and Jewish identity among North American Jews, the program has brought hundreds of thousands of Jewish young adults to Israel on the 10-day trips, including a projected 20,500 North Americans this summer alone. Yet the promise of a free Israel trip seems to have had a flip side: thousands of parents of Jewish high schoolers deferring Israel travel until their children are eligible for Birthright.

According to an internal survey conducted in 2008 by BBYO Passport, 30 percent of parents whose children were BBYO members said they preferred sending their kids on Birthright. Another 28 percent said they preferred high school trips, while 40 percent were undecided.

“Birthright is an extraordinary experience,” said Paul Reichenbach, the director of Union for Reform Judaism's Camping and Israel Programs. “We're a big supporter of it. Yet at the same time it's made it difficult for sponsors of high school trips to get traction.”

According to a 2010 report, the overall number of 13- to 18 year-olds traveling to Israel from around the world dropped from a record 20,000 in 2000, the year of Birthright's founding, to 12,000 in 2009. Elan Ezrachi, a fellow at the Center for Jewish Peoplehood Education and the study's author, said approximately half of those participants are North Americans.

Ramie Arian, who conducted a separate 2011 study focusing specifically on teen travel from North America, came to a similar conclusion: the number of high schoolers going to Israel has dropped 40 percent since 2000, though the numbers have since stabilized. Meanwhile, Birthright participation has surged, with the program struggling to keep up with demand.

Len Saxe, a Brandeis University professor who has done extensive research on Birthright, acknowledged that some programs have taken a hit, but claimed the overall numbers of teens traveling to Israel may have risen — particularly if one includes the Poland-Israel March of the Living trip, which the two studies did not.

“Based on the available data, I believe what's happened is that there has been a shift,” Saxe said. “The shift is toward shorter programs that engage younger people — middle school trips, in particular, have grown and there are other short-term programs, including March of the Living. Instead of the normative programs [being] six weeks during the summer late in high school, there are more two-week trips.”

With no central body tracking data, it's hard to evaluate such claims. But several academics said the move away from longer term high-school travel is both clear and detrimental. Experiencing Israel as an adolescent rather than as a young adult, Ezrachi said, is more impactful. And teenagers have more follow-up opportunities through synagogue youth groups or Jewish day schools than those who return to college campuses, a drawback Birthright has belatedly sought to address.

“Its not enough for the Birthright people to say this is not my problem,” said Jack Wertheimer, a history professor and former provost at the Jewish Theological Seminary. “The question is whether they are willing to invest their resources to maintain these teen trips. The summer teen trips are much longer, much more impactful, and may end up bringing teens to Israel to study and work there. Something ought to be done.”

Proponents of teen travel have offered a number of ways to level the playing field, including distributing philanthropic dollars more equally between trips for adolescents and young adults, or creating an Israel voucher that could be used for any number of travel options.

Gideon Shavit, the head of Lapid, a coalition representing 30 providers of teen programs to Israel, said the Israeli government should be supporting teen travel as it supports Birthright — to the tune of $40 million in 2013. But sending kids on a costly multi-week Israel summer trip in high school is a tough sell when there's a free trip in the offing a year or two down the road.

“Given the choice of spending $7,000 or $8,000 on a two-week trip or nothing on a 10-day trip,” Reichenbach said, “it's a no-brainer.”

Birthright Israel declined to comment.

The Birthright Israel flip side: Fewer high school students traveling to Israel Read More »

A gift of hope

Leave a Comment / Bar & Bat Mitzvahs, Culture, Health, News /

Cotton caps in shades of pastel pink and sky blue are standard go-to gifts for a newborn baby. But for Steven and Jodi Zimelman, whose now-13-year-old daughter, Taylor, spent the first three months of her life in an incubator in Cedars-Sinai’s neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) at the Maxine Dunitz Children’s Health Center, one particular pink cap will remain an everlasting symbol of comfort and hope.  

“[Taylor] was a sick baby, born five weeks premature, weighing 3 pounds, 4 ounces and with a multitude of health problems, including two holes in her heart,” Jodi Zimelman said. “She had to stay [at Cedars-Sinai] until she was 6 pounds — big enough to undergo heart surgery. You see all these little babies in their incubators and you just want them to be OK. We had good days and bad days, and it was a very scary, very tenuous time.” 

Few friends came to visit them in the hospital during that long, lonely period, but one bright spot came in the form of a little pink hat given to them by Dorothy Williams, who was the parent liaison in the NICU during Taylor’s stay, acting as a connection between the parents, doctors and hospital staff. 

“People are often overwhelmed by the situation and aren’t sure what to do,” Williams said, referring to the lack of support given to parents of infants in the NICU. “They don’t want to give gifts in case the baby doesn’t live because they don’t want to make things even harder for the family. They can’t imagine that pain and often they’ll just go away. The cap gives a statement of affirmation to the parents. It says your baby is worth enough for somebody else to go out of his or her way and do something special for them. It’s a way to say, ‘Welcome, little one; we care deeply about you — whatever length of life you have.’ ” 

But not only did Taylor live, she thrived. The baby that doctors predicted would suffer lifelong debilitating health problems (including not being able to walk) is now a state champion gymnast competing on the national level; last year she placed seventh on uneven bars in her age group. The only evidence of her surgery is a small scar running down her chest. 

“Taylor’s cardiologist calls it her ‘line of courage,’ ” Jodi Zimelman said. 

Last month, Taylor celebrated her bat mitzvah at Temple Isaiah, and, as part of her required mitzvah project, decided to help other newborn babies in need. In the months leading up to her big moment on the bimah, Taylor kickstarted a global initiative to collect handmade baby hats to donate to the NICU at Cedars-Sinai.

“Now that I’m healthy, I felt like I should give back to Cedars-Sinai, and donating caps seemed the perfect way to do that,” Taylor said of her philanthropic undertaking. Family and friends also formed a knitting circle and made their own caps. 

Taylor posted her project on the knitting and crocheting social network site Ravelry.com. Soon, hats came pouring in from knitters living all over the world. So far, Taylor has collected more than 625 caps in all shapes, colors and sizes; 500 of them have been delivered to Cedars-Sinai, with more to come. 

“Someone sent one cap with little ears that is really cute, and another person made a cap that was like a cupcake with a little red pompom on the top for a cherry,” Taylor said of her favorites caps. 

“Posting her project on the site took it to a whole other level,” Jodi Zimelman added. “We received caps from Japan, Canada, Hawaii. One Jewish woman sent us 10 caps plus a sterling silver Jewish star. The project has really illustrated the goodness of people in the world. It’s also taught Taylor the meaning of performing a mitzvah and of helping others perform the mitzvah of giving back.” 

Cedars-Sinai NICU parent liaison Linda Rosenberg, who is also in charge of facilitating donations to the center, works with a team of volunteers to distribute the baby caps, which are washed and bagged and available at the NICU’s Good Beginnings Library, a home away from home for patients and their families. 

“It’s such a caring, sweet thing to want to give back and let these families know that someone cares,” Rosenberg said. “What makes it extra special is that Taylor is a graduate of the [NICU]. It’s truly a pay-it-forward gesture. Taylor is touching the lives of so many that are here now.”

For Williams, and all the nurses on staff, Taylor is more than just an inspiring NICU success story — she’s a survivor. 

“It’s just very exciting to see that kind of change and to know how fragile she had been and how beautifully she’s grown up,” Williams said. “To be facing her bat mitzvah and also coordinating a whole project like this is just huge. She’s turned into such a lovely young woman. She has weathered it all in terms of her health, her compassion and caring for other people.”

As for Taylor, these caps are just the beginning of what she hopes will be a lifelong journey filled with many mitzvot. 

“My project has inspired me to give more,” she said. “I saw many families with happy, smiling faces, and I got to show them that their babies are going to make it and grow up to be healthy. I want to make more people smile because that will make me feel that I am doing an important thing in their lives — giving them the gift of hope.” 

A gift of hope Read More »

Bat Mitzvah at the Kotel: Is it possible?

Leave a Comment / Bar & Bat Mitzvahs, Is Featured?, Judaism, Mobile, Mobile-Homepage, News /

Every week, dozens of bar mitzvah boys from Israel and the Diaspora celebrate their rite of passage at the Kotel, also known as the Western Wall, which, after the Temple Mount, is Judaism’s holiest site.   

Many Diaspora families, especially from the more liberal streams of Judaism, are therefore surprised to learn that Israel forbids women and girls from doing the equivalent — celebrating a bat mitzvah at the Kotel. 

According to Israeli law, “No religious ceremony shall be in held in the women’s section of the Western Wall.” Women are forbidden to read from the Torah, to wear prayer shawls or to blow the shofar there. 

Several members and supporters of Women of the Wall (WOW), a multidenominational group of religious-activist women who come to pray at the Wall every Rosh Chodesh, the start of the Jewish month, have been detained and sometimes arrested for wearing prayer shawls in the women’s section. 

For those girls who wish to celebrate their bat mitzvah near the Wall, without these restraints and scrutiny, there is an attractive alternative: Robinson’s Arch, a part of the Southern Wall, a remnant of the Second Temple. 

Named after Edward Robinson, the scholar who identified the remains of the site in 1838, the arch historically served as an overpass at the southwestern corner of the Temple Mount. 

Part of the Jerusalem Archeological Park & Davidson Center, it is a tranquil, picturesque site just outside the Western Wall Plaza. It is the place designated by the Israeli government for religious ceremonies that do not meet the strict ultra-Orthodox standards established and enforced by the Ministry of Religious Services. 

It is commonplace to see egalitarian or women-only groups praying here, in prayer shawls and reading from a Torah scroll.  

It is also an option for some Modern Orthodox families of boys becoming b’nai mitzvah who feel uncomfortable with the total gender segregation at the Kotel: the mechitza (divider) between the men’s and women’s sections has been built higher and higher in recent years, due to Ministry of Religious Affairs directives, making it difficult for some women to feel part of the simcha taking place in the men’s section.   

Non-Orthodox Jews have held egalitarian prayers at Robinson’s Arch since 2000, and Women of the Wall has often read from the Torah here (though not in recent months), following prayers at the Kotel. 

Photo by Michele Chabin

Both WOW and the non-Orthodox movements would prefer to be allowed to pray according to their own traditions at the Kotel, and not have to turn to Robinson’s Arch, and, in response, the government has appointed Jewish Agency Chairman Natan Sharansky to study the issue. He recently proposed a plan to expand the Western Wall Plaza to includ a space for egalitarian prayer. It would include Robinson’s Arch, but be separated by several walls and a bridge, according to media reports.

Some have proposed allocating non-Orthodox groups one hour per week, or per month, at the Kotel to pray the way they feel comfortable. The Ministry of Religious Services has so far rejected this idea, believing it violates Jewish law and would hurt the sensibilities of ultra-Orthodox worshippers. “We hope and pray to welcome women and girls for b’not mitzvah at the Kotel some day,” said Shira Pruce, WOW’s director of public relations.

“Right now, it would be impossible for a woman to be bat mitzvah at the Kotel. She and her family would be interrupted, harassed by police and detained. She wouldn’t be able to complete the service, certainly not with a Torah, as of right now.”

Although WOW at one time welcomed bat mitzvah girls and women to Robinson’s Arch, that isn’t an option through them at the moment, Pruce said. WOW’s board of directors recently voted to hold future Torah readings from a Chumash at the Kotel, as an act of civil disobedience, Ha’aretz reported. 

Those wishing to hold a simcha at the Arch should contact the Masorti/Conservative movement in Jerusalem, which manages the site for this purpose, 12 to 18 months prior to the simcha.

More often than not, it is the prospective bar/bat mitzvah’s rabbi who contacts the movement, which will issue an entry permit (ishur) and schedule a time, almost always in the early morning. Entrance is through the Davidson Center, which charges for admission — even to bar/bat mitzvah families — after 9:15 a.m. 

The Masorti movement maintains a list of rabbis (also Reform) with experience working at Robinson’s Arch. Their fees range from $300 to $1,500, depending on what services they render and whether they serve as tour guides the rest of the day. 

Ivette Schirelman, the movement’s director of resource development, said certain restrictions apply at the Arch, due to its status as an archeological site. 

These include a prohibition against bringing musical instruments or candy (to throw at the bat/bar mitzvah) into the park. Also, there is no seating, but if given advance notice, a few chairs can be arranged. If wheelchair lifts are needed, the movement needs time to ensure they are unlocked and functional.

Once the simcha is complete, many families head to the Kotel to take photos. It’s also possible to take guided tours of the Davidson Center and southern wall excavations and/or visit the wonderful City of David archeological park, both for a fee.  

Another option is to explore the Western Wall Tunnels at the Kotel (book way ahead) and the winding alleyways of the Old City’s four quarters before stopping for brunch in the Jewish Quarter or one of the restaurants in the Mamilla shopping district outside Jaffa Gate (reservations are strongly advised, especially in upscale Mamilla). 

“Linda from Florida,” a mother whose son, Xander, celebrated his bar mitzvah at Robinson’s Arch, wrote in a blog how much she appreciated the ability to personalize the ceremony. 

“I wrote a blessing for my son and read it to him, my older kids participated in saying prayers, along with my brother, mom and aunt. For us it was very meaningful and positive. It was the highlight of our trip to Israel.” 

Robinson’s Arch “was beautiful as it provided a peaceful and spiritual setting,” Xander’s mother wrote. 

For more information, contact Rabbi Sandra Kochmann at kotel@masorti.org.il. 

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The sky’s the limit

Leave a Comment / Bar & Bat Mitzvahs, Culture, News /

Preparing for the complete bar or bat mitzvah experience — the ceremony, the food, the entertainment — can feel like a three-ring circus. So maybe it shouldn’t come as a surprise that carnivals are one of the hottest themes these days as kids prepare for the biggest party they’ve thrown in their 13 years on the planet.

No matter what theme for a reception that you choose, be sure to make the most of it. In other words, don’t settle for a Big Top — make it bigger and better.

“When it comes down to it,” said Linda Vogel, owner of Dream Makers in Pasadena (dreammakersparties.com), “no matter what the theme is, it’s immersive. Going all out, whether it be Hawaiian-themed, -Hollywood-themed or casino-themed, is the biggest trend right now.”

These days, a popular way to do that is by taking a theme and applying it to everything from the invitations to the food at the reception, advised Allyson Levine, event coordinator at Bob Gail Special Events in Los Angeles (bobgail.com).

 “A major trend is keeping the reception theme completely immersive and cohesive. For instance, if the kid chooses a vintage carnival theme, a theme that’s very popular this year, we want to appeal to all five senses from start to finish,” Levine said. “We’ll erect a full circus tent to hold the event, serve corn dogs and funnel cake out of carnival carts, have real carnival games for the kids to play and [have] circus performers. 

“We can take practically any venue, and turn it from a blank canvas into the perfectly unique experience each family aims for.”

According to Joel Macht, owner of Spotlight LA in Simi Valley (spotlightla.com), an event-planning company that focuses on new media and technology, interactive media visuals and décor are finally gaining widespread popularity after nearly a decade of existing on the fringes.

“It’s taking an experience, like an awards show, and making every moment at hand have an aural, visual and interactive component: entrances, parent dances — everything. We have a visual jockey mixing with the disc jockey,” Macht said.

Immersive is in, says Dream Makers in Pasadena. Photo courtesy of Dream Makers

One of the largest trends this year is a “lounge and club” theme, he explained. That involves creating a space that feels like the glamorous clubs celebrities frequent: plush, modular seating, mood lighting and, of course, a DJ and dance floor.

“Our visual and aural artists work to synergize a seamless experience for the bar or bat mitzvah and make sure the event utilizes technology in a way that reallyimmersive sets it apart,” Macht said.

The party maestro pointed out that one theme that’s popular is the “no theme” reception — one that aims to capture the personality of the young man or woman who’s coming of age. It’s all about taking the bar or bat mitzvah’s interests and tastes in décor and music, and creating an environment that is unmistakably the child’s personal “brand.”

“People want something that’s really special and unique and an experience that’s very intimate and meaningful,” Macht said. “For us, as a company, no matter the cost of the reception, we want the families to know that this is a celebration, and that we approach it with respect and compassion, and understand the importance of this event. We want to celebrate with them, as part of the community.”

Laurie Camacho, owner of Party Planners USA in Los Angeles (partyplannersusa.com), said there are ways to make any party theme exceptional.

Technology meets mitzvah with Spotlight LA in Simi Valley. Photo courtesy of Spotlight LA

“A lot of what’s big now is neon and that craze of everything being in 3-D. We’re still doing a lot of casinos, carnivals, circuses and club themes, but we try to make it look totally different by using professional sets and scenes,” Camacho said. “Even when we do a table design, we can make it so it looks 3-D when you look down. The first thing clients ask for is the wow factor.”

According to Camacho, people are spending $10,000 to $50,000 for something spectacular. Before you hyperventilate, take a deep breath.

“We help them make this event as amazing as we can with any budget. We just try to keep the cost/expectation ratio realistic,” Camacho said. “We’ve done everything from renting out penthouses, warehouses and soundstages to creating a very special space at the child’s synagogue. Wherever it is, we don’t want to take away from the religious aspect of the ceremony.” 

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Former JFS director of children and family services rejects report she shielded Australian abuser

Leave a Comment / California, Mobile, Mobile-Homepage, News /

When veteran social worker Debbie Fox’s name appeared in Australia’s Sydney Morning Herald on April 10, the story about her claimed she was doing the unthinkable: protecting a known abuser of children.

The story purported to quote from an e-mail she wrote to an unnamed sex offender in November 2011. “I have no idea how anyone found out,” she was quoted as saying, “but calls are coming daily from many sources. So far, we’ve been protecting you.” 

Fox worked at Jewish Family Service of Los Angeles (JFS), until budgetary pressures led her to resign late last year. Most recently she was the agency’s director of children and family services. She also served as director of the Aleinu Family Resource Center, an arm of JFS serving the local Orthodox community. 

Fox, who is internationally known as a leading authority on child abuse prevention within Orthodox communities, confirmed in an interview with the Journal that she wrote the e-mail quoted in the Herald, but said the Australian newspaper took it out of context in a way that misrepresents its intent. 

Speaking on April 14, Fox stated that her e-mail was not about protecting the offender from prosecution or from the local Orthodox Jewish community. 

Rather, Fox said she was informing the offender of what he already knew: that if he did not follow through with the evaluation and treatment that he and JFS had come up with, the victim, who had first brought the offender to Fox’s attention, would go public with what the offender had done to him 20 years earlier in Australia. 

The complete chain of e-mails, Fox said, make clear that she and Aleinu had no intention of protecting the offender from such exposure, and Fox said that each e-mail she sent to the offender also was copied to the victim and to a rabbi on Aleinu’s Halachic Advisory Board (HAB), a group of Orthodox rabbis who work with Aleinu on its cases and protocols. 

“The victim, the offender and the rabbi were all notified of every communication,” she said. 

The Herald’s story is just one of many published about abuse within the Australian Jewish community, and it comes at a time when revelations and prosecution of sexual abuse within Orthodox Jewish communities around the world are on the rise. 

This story could draw further scrutiny of the work of Los Angeles’ HAB, which has been considered by many Orthodox experts as a model for treating abusers because of HAB’s close cooperation with law enforcement. Critics, however, see HAB’s work as undermining reporting requirements by presenting itself as an alternative to law enforcement. 

Since the early 2000s, when three sex abuse scandals in Los Angeles’ Orthodox Jewish community received broad press coverage, Fox has been working on a number of fronts to prevent sex abuse. 

A licensed clinical social worker, Fox created a program that aims to educate children, parents and educators about how to prevent and respond to child abuse. She worked with the HAB rabbis to devise a “conduct policy” that has been introduced in Jewish schools and camps. And she oversaw the growth of the HAB to its current size, with 11 local rabbis from across the Orthodox community now working on a volunteer basis on some particularly sensitive issues.

Fox is herself a mandated reporter — if she has reason to suspect child abuse, she must inform authorities — as are JFS and Aleinu. But the HAB, Fox said, only intervenes in cases of child abuse where there is no reportable offense, and has taken on between 25 and 30 cases of alleged or confirmed child abuse in the past eight years. 

Fox said she was contacted in 2011 by a victim who was seeking to force the man who abused him decades earlier in Australia to go before the HAB. 

The offender, now living in Los Angeles, admitted to the abuse, but Fox said that when she called the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services, she was told there was nothing to report locally because the offense took place decades earlier and in another country. Fox said she also encouraged the victim to call police in Australia, but he declined to do so at the time, citing personal reasons. 

For a victim of abuse to decline to report an offense, even years later, is not unusual in insular Orthodox communities. That is, Fox said, what drives the HAB in the work that it does. 

In 2011, both the victim and the offender — both of whom provided statements to Fox, but declined to be interviewed by the Journal either by phone, e-mail or in person — were in “100 percent agreement,” Fox said, both about what took place decades earlier and what had to happen going forward.

Under threat of exposure, the offender underwent an in-depth assessment to determine whether he was still a danger to children. 

Such evaluations, used frequently by the HAB, can last up to 50 hours and involve lengthy questionnaires, a lie-detector test and other examinations. 

This one, however, ended up being atypical, Fox said: The assessment found the offender had offended in the past but had not reoffended in “more than 20 years.” 

The outside evaluators recommended the offender undergo therapy with an expert in the field, Fox said, and in accordance with the victim’s wishes, disclose his past offenses to his own rabbi. The offender is now required to meet with that rabbi on a monthly basis. 

The offender complied, Fox said, and the victim told her he was completely satisfied with the results of the HAB’s involvement. 

The other unusual aspect of this case, Fox said, was that the offender took, in his words, “a significant period of time” to complete the evaluation and to get set up with treatment. 

Too long, as Fox made clear in her e-mail of Nov. 21, 2012. 

“We have NEVER had any evaluation take nearly this long,” Fox wrote in the e-mail obtained by the Herald, reminding him that he had to complete it “for [his] security.” 

Fox declined to share the entire e-mail chain with the Journal, but read the text of those that preceded the one obtained by the Herald to a reporter over the phone. The e-mails were insistent that the offender move forward with the agreed-upon assessment and treatment regimen. 

“Every communication was about following through with the protocol,” Fox told the Journal. “When he [the offender] did not follow through in a timely manner, what I said is, ‘I can’t protect you.’ 

“The victim is going to just let everybody know that this is what you’ve done 20 years ago, and I’m not going to stop it,” Fox added. “I can’t protect that. That is what the e-mail said.” 

Fox has many supporters within the Orthodox Jewish community, but some advocates for the sexual abuse victims are critical of her work with the HAB. 

 “Why do you need an advisory board? Why do you need gatekeepers?” asked Ben Hirsch, a spokesperson for Survivors for Justice, an organization that educates and advocates on issues related to child safety. “Duplicating the job of trained law enforcement professionals serves no purpose other than the occasional cover-up.

“The only thing rabbis should be doing is to tell people to report all incidents of abuse directly to the authorities — even when there is no legal requirement to do so — and to offer public moral support to victims who do report,” Hirsch added. 

Richard Baker, one of the reporters who wrote the Herald article, said this week that the unnamed offender is now under investigation by detectives in Sydney for acts committed against four victims when they were children. 

Australia has no statute of limitations on criminal charges of sexual abuse against children. 

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