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March 23, 2011

The benefits of making mistakes

“Writers don’t die of typhus,” goes one of my favorite quotations from the work of Isaac Bashevis Singer. “They die of typos.”

Alina Tugend, however, is one writer who sees errors as an opportunity for redemption and improvement both for individuals and institutions. Indeed, as she argues persuasively in “Better by Mistake: The Unexpected Benefits of Being Wrong” (Riverhead Books, $25.95), the world is actually a much better place when we acknowledge — and learn from — our mistakes.

“[T]he fear of making mistakes is a cudgel that hangs over so many of us,” Tugend writes, “preventing us from not only taking risks in our personal and professional lives, but even more important, really accepting — not just giving lip service to — the truth that we are all human and imperfect.”

Tugend, a New York Times columnist and daughter of Jewish Journal contributing editor Tom Tugend, is quick to concede to that “[n]ot all mistakes are alike,” and the consequences can vary from trivial to catastrophic. “We usually judge the severity of a mistake by the outcome,” she explains, pointing out that a typo ranks lower on the “scale of consequences” than, say, a mistake by a surgeon or an airline pilot. But she insists that “the odds against an error-free performance of any kind seem overwhelmingly high.” For that reason, she challenges us to consider why and how we make mistakes, what we can learn from our mistakes, and why mistakes are essential to avoiding yet more mistakes.

Tugend is interested in what she calls “the ‘good’ part of mistakes,” which she regards as essential tools for detecting and correcting problems. “That doesn’t necessarily mean that the mistakes themselves are good, but their aftermath — tracing back why we made them and what we learned from them — can be very helpful in avoiding mistakes in the future.”

But Tugend also addresses the most intimate aspects of our attitudes about making mistakes. She confesses to her own tendency to blame herself not only for her own mistakes but for her children’s mistakes, too. “Not only do I feel bad about my children paying a price for their blunders, but I suspect that other parents are judging both me and my children, and finding us wanting,” she writes. “Intellectually, I know it’s ridiculous, but deep down, where I scold myself over every mistake, where a persistent belief that I should be perfect clings tenaciously, I believe it.”

Fear of making a mistake, in fact, can be crippling. “[W]hat psychiatrists call maladaptive perfectionists need to be the best at everything, and if they make a mistake, it’s a crisis,” she explains. “Even worse, they don’t learn from their mistakes because if, God forbid, one occurs, it should be concealed like a nasty secret.”

The same phenomenon is at work in every aspect of family and work life, as Tugend points out. The CEO of one company was distressed to find an approval process that required every new idea to be subjected to “275 checks and sign-offs,” all because of the institutional fear of making a mistake along the way. When he streamlined the process to a mere 75 decision points, “the result was a higher innovation rate.”

Paradoxically, a more relaxed approach to errors can actually make us safer in some circumstances. At one hospital, for example, administrators encouraged staff members to “figure out how the system failed” by, among other things, replacing “error reports” with “an ‘Improve the Process’ form.” The “no-blame culture” resulted in a sharp increase in the number of medication errors that were reported, and the disclosure meant that the underlying problems could be addressed and resolved.

Finally, the author considers the function of apology in a culture that is so resistant to admitting error. Apology and remorse are not necessarily one and the same thing: “Nothing offended commentators about President Clinton’s ‘apology’ in the Monica Lewinsky case more than its lack of regret.” She prescribes a formula for an effective apology: “[A]cknowledgment of a fault, regret for it, and responsibility.”

Throughout her charming and illuminating book, Tugend displays a winning sense of humor even as she fearlessly examines more serious aspects of making mistakes. “As much as people hate to make mistakes, they love point out ones others have made,” she cracks. “A number of readers couldn’t resist gleefully pointing out an editing typo. To those folks, I simply say: ‘Read this book.’ “

Jonathan Kirsch, author and publishing attorney, is the book editor of The Jewish Journal. He blogs on books at The benefits of making mistakes Read More »

Calendar Picks and Clicks: March 24-April 1, 2011

THU | MARCH 24

“UNCOVERING JEWISH MOROCCO”
Travel agent and blogger Lisa Niver Rajna discusses Jewish roots in the region, from following Maimonides’ footsteps to the Marrakech Synagogue, and Vanessa Paloma performs Sephardic songs in Ladino and Spanish. You can also enjoy the flavors of a Moroccan Passover. Thu. 7-8 p.m. Free. RSVP recommended, wesaidgotravel@gmail.com.  Udko Annex, Stephen S. Wise Temple, 15500 Stephen S. Wise Temple Drive, Los Angeles. (310) 405-1788. wesaidgotravel.blogspot.com.


SAT | MARCH 26

JAMES CARROLL
The best-selling author (“Constantine’s Sword”) and former Catholic priest returns to Valley Beth Shalom to discuss his recently released book, “Jerusalem, Jerusalem,” a nonfiction work that explores how the ancient holy site became an incendiary fantasy of a city. Sat. 10 a.m. (Torah service), 12:30 p.m. (Shabbat Shiur). Free. Valley Beth Shalom, 15739 Ventura Blvd., Encino. (818) 788-6000. vbs.org.


SUN | MARCH 27

“ESTHER, THE PLAY”
Keep the Purim spirit alive another week with this contemporary retelling of the heroine who saved the Jewish people, starring Israeli American actress Ellie Nahmani. Sun. 11 a.m. $18 (advance), $23 (door). Also April 3 and 10. Whitefire Theatre, 13500 Ventura Blvd., Sherman Oaks. (323) 445-6649. esthertheplay.com.

MARTHE COHN
The Holocaust survivor and decorated French army spy discusses her memoir, “Behind Enemy Lines,” during the Jewish Studies Sunday Book & Discussion Group at Loyola Marymount University. Sun. 2-3:30 p.m. Free. William H. Hannon Library, Loyola Marymount University, 1 LMU Drive, MS 8200, Los Angeles. (310) 338-4584. libguides.lmu.edu/jewishbooks.

JOSHUA FOER
After training with mental athletes for one year, the journalist and author of the new book “Moonwalking With Einstein: The Art and Science of Remembering Everything” found himself in the U.S. Memory Championship finals. Foer, brother of novelist Jonathan Safran Foer, recounts how he tamed his chronic forgetfulness and learned techniques to memorize entire books. Sun. 3 p.m. Free. Vroman’s Bookstore, 695 E. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena. (626) 449-5320. vromansbookstore.com.

“THE LAST SURVIVOR”
Four survivors of genocides — the Holocaust, Darfur, Rwanda and Congo — struggle to make sense of tragedy by working to promote awareness of mass atrocities in this 2010 character-based feature documentary. A panel discussion follows with co-directors Michael Kleiman and Michael Pertnoy, Tzivia Schwartz-Getzug, executive director of Jewish World Watch, and Rabbi Shmuly Yanklowitz, president of Uri L’Tzedek. Museum of Tolerance Director Liebe Geft moderates. Sun. 7 p.m. $8. Museum of Tolerance, 9786 W. Pico Blvd., Los Angeles. (310) 772-2505. museumoftolerance.com


WED | MARCH 30

COMMUNITY RESOURCE FAIR
If you’re looking for work, needing financial assistance or just hoping to network, don’t miss out on this day of workshops on topics like job searches and debtor’s rights; face-to-face meetings with staff from social service and governmental agencies; and information and referrals to local resources. Janet Spiegel, a consultant and social media expert, delivers the event’s keynote speech. Kosher refreshments provided. Wed. 9:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Free. Jewish Federation Valley Alliance, 22622 Vanowen St., West Hills. RSVP required, (323) 761-8239. jewishla.org/resource-fair.

CULTIVATING A SELF-RELIANT CHILD
Parenting expert Betsy Brown Braun, author of “You’re Not the Boss of Me,” leads tonight’s discussion on cultivating character traits that are tried-and-true brat-busters. Braun appears in dialogue with Rabbi David Wolpe. A book signing follows. Wed. 7:30 p.m. Free. RSVP to park in building. Sinai Temple, 10400 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles. (310) 481-3243. sinaitemple.org.

“THE SOUL OF JEWISH MUSIC”
Violin virtuoso Itzhak Perlman and Cantor Yitzhok Meir Helfgot perform live, accompanied by a klezmer ensemble and a chamber orchestra. Comedian Elon Gold introduces the evening’s program, and proceeds benefit the Bet Tzedek Holocaust Survivors Jewish Network. Wed. 6:30 p.m. $75-$350. Saban Theatre, 8440 Wilshire Blvd., Beverly Hills. (323) 655-0111. ticketmaster.com. To read Journal writer Tom Tugend’s article on the concert, click here.


FRI | APRIL 1

VIDAL SASSOON
Spend an evening with the man who has been on the cutting edge of hairstyling since the 1960s. Sassoon discusses and signs “Vidal: The Autobiography,” his recently released memoir, which follows his youth in a London Jewish orphanage, his time spent fighting in the Israeli army and, of course, his wildly successful career. Fri. 7 p.m. Free. Book Soup, 8818 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles. (310) 659-3110. booksoup.com

UPCOMING

PASSOVER DESSERT TASTING
Tired of Pesachdik cakes that feel like bricks and taste like sand? Los Angeles-based pastry chef and “The Dessert Architect” author Robert Wemischner offers fresh ideas for a sweet finish to your Passover seder. Recipes and a tasting menu of four desserts (including wheat- and dairy–free options) included. A book signing follows. Sun. April 3, 3 p.m. $35 (general), $30 (Skirball members). Advance ticket required. Sales close March 30. (310) 440-4500. skirball.org.

Calendar Picks and Clicks: March 24-April 1, 2011 Read More »

One woman killed, over 30 injured in bomb explosion in Jerusalem [UPDATE]

One woman was killed and at least three dozen people were injured when a bomb exploded in central Jerusalem.

Two of the injuries in the attack, which took place shortly before 3 p.m. Wednesday, were considered serious, according to news reports citing Magen David Adom, Israel’s version of the Red Cross. One of the injured went straight to surgery at Hadassah Hospital; five others are reported in moderate condition, injured by shrapnel packed into the 2- to 4-pound bomb.

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said following the attack that he would delay a planned trip to Moscow.

President Obama in condemning the Jerusalem bombing stressed that “Israel, like all other nations, has a right to self-defense” and “in the strongest possible terms.” In the same statement, Obama offered condolences for the deaths Tuesday of Palestinian civilians in Gaza that were caused by Israeli tank fire.

“There is never any possible justification for terrorism,” Obama said. “We stress the importance of calm and urge all parties to do everything in their power to prevent further violence and civilian casualties.”

Similarly, Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas in a statement issued from Russia, where he is on an official visit, condemned the attack as well as the Israeli military’s attacks in Gaza that killed eight Palestinians, including the three civilians.

Palestinian terror groups in Gaza praised the bombing. Islamic Jihad spokesman Abu Ahmed called the attack a “natural response to the enemy’s crimes. It is a clear and powerful message to Israel that her crimes won’t be able to break the resistance.”

Police said the bomb was left in a bag either in a telephone booth next to a busy bus stop or at the bus stop itself, along a main artery in central Jerusalem, near the International Convention Center and about a block from the city’s central bus terminal. The blast blew out the windows of two buses picking up passengers.

The entrance to the city of Jerusalem was closed following the explosion.

Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat called on citizens to return to their normal lives, so that the terrorists could not score a victory in the attack, The Jerusalem Post reported. He also asked Jerusalem residents to keep their eyes open in order to prevent future attacks. Barkat called the explosion a “cowardly terrorist attack.”

A marathon through the streets of Jerusalem is scheduled for Friday. Barkat told reporters that he still planned to participate in the run.

Jerusalem during the second Palestinian intafada was the site of dozens of attacks that targeted buses.

Meanwhile, Deputy Prime Minister Silvan Shalom threatened to launch a new operation against Gaza in the wake of increased shelling on Israel’s South.

“The period of restraint is over; we must do everything we can to strike out against those who wish to hurt the innocent,” said Shalom on a visit to a site in Beersheba struck by two long-range Grad rockets on Wednesday. “I hope it won’t come to another Operation Cast Lead, but if there is no other choice we will launch another operation.”

Shalom, of the Likud Party, grew up in the Beersheba residential neighborhood hit by the rockets, which left one man wounded. The attack followed a Grad rocket attack Tuesday on the port city of Ashdod; that rocket landed near the center of the city of 200,000. Ashdod schools were closed Wednesday following the attack.

At least seven mortars and one other rocket were fired into southern Israel on Wednesday morning. Israel’s Home Front Command called on Israelis living in the country’s south to go about their daily routine, despite the increasing rocket fire.

Earlier Wednesday, Israel’s Air Force said it bombed the rocket launcher from which the rocket was fired into Ashdod.

Defense Minister Ehud Barak said that Israel will continue to take pre-emptive action to protect its citizens, including acting along the Gaza border.

“There will be highs and lows,” Barak said. “Not everything will end tomorrow, but we are determined to return the quiet and security.”

J Street President Jeremy Ben-Ami and board chair Davidi Gilo, who are in Jerusalem for a Knesset debate, condemned the Jerusalem bombing and the increase of rocket attacks on the South in a statement issued Wednesday.

“We support the state of Israel in taking the steps necessary to respond to today’s attacks, to protect all its citizens, and to bring those who perpetrated today’s attack to justice,” the statement said.

Meanwhile, an 8-year-old Gaza boy injured in an Israeli attack was taken to an Israeli hospital Wednesday for treatment. The transfer was coordinated with the Palestinians.

One woman killed, over 30 injured in bomb explosion in Jerusalem [UPDATE] Read More »

Kenneth Schaefler, Special-Ed Proponent, dies at 68

Kenneth Schaefler, longtime director of psychological and special education services at BJE: Builders of Jewish Education (formerly Bureau of Jewish Education), died March 10 at 68.

After earning a doctorate at the University of Southern California, Schaefler joined the staff of BJE in 1970 and devoted 38 years to making Jewish education available to students with diverse learning needs. He championed disabilities awareness, special education services at Jewish day schools and at regional centers (for afternoon religious school students), early detection and intervention as well as professional development for teachers.

Partnering with the Harold and Libby Ziff Foundation, Schaefler helped initiate resource rooms at 14 area Jewish day schools. Building on the “Kids on the Block” disability awareness program — using life-size puppets to help elementary school students understand diversity — Schaefler educated generations of students about individual uniqueness and the importance of inclusion.

Schaefler served as a consultation and referral service for thousands of families until retiring due to illness in 2008. He was a founding member of a national consortium of special education professionals at BJEs across the country.

He is survived by his wife of 33 years, Natalie, and sons Jonathan and Miles.

Kenneth Schaefler, Special-Ed Proponent, dies at 68 Read More »

Birthdays in Israel, then and now

Birthdays with a zero have a special purchase on the imagination. Whether one turns 40 or 70, that zero marks a turning point, the end of an old decade and the beginning of a new one, a chance to take stock: what in Hebrew is called cheshbon ha-nefesh — literally, an accounting of your soul. And if that birthday takes place in Israel, where you once lived for years — and where you might have stayed, had you chosen to — you have a formula for cascading, competing visions of what was and what might have been.

This past October, I celebrated my 70th birthday in Israel, at my in-laws’ backyard in Zikhron Ya’akov, about 22 miles south of Haifa. Those at the gathering were all part of my wife’s family. There were cakes and hugs and singing “Happy Birthday” in three languages: Hebrew, Spanish and English. It was pleasant and gratifyingly low-key.

I stood and thanked my in-laws for hosting this event, telling the group that I couldn’t imagine any place I’d rather be for my 70th birthday. And that was true, as far as it went. But during much of that night, my mind floated back in time and space.

When Betty and I went to Israel in the early 1970s, we thought we were going to remain there for the rest of our lives. We lived for two years at Kibbutz Netiv HaLamed Heh, in the Valley of Elah, and then more than five years in Jerusalem. We learned the language and became citizens. We had not gone to Israel to fulfill a Zionist dream, but little by little we became Israelis, as nosy and noisy as our neighbors. For the most part, we felt at home.

The last few years we were in Jerusalem, we lived in a suburb where, after the school day was over, we could let our older son, Rafi — born in Israel in 1974 — run free with his neighborhood pals. Before it got dark, we’d go look for him.

Years later, while living in Los Angeles, Rafi would write of his childhood in Israel: “I remember playing with my friends in the chaparral and the caves as the sun was setting. We found pottery shards and imagined that we were ancient Israelites battling against the all-powerful Romans. It felt like an adventure, though home was only a few yards away.”

It was an ideal life for a 6-year-old, but difficult for Betty and me: We barely eked out a living. I picked up odd jobs as a writer, working on documentary films, audiovisual shows and fundraising movies, while Betty was a high school math and science teacher.

By late 1980, we came to the reluctant conclusion that leaving Israel was an economic necessity for us. Our plan was for me to go to Los Angeles by myself first, find a place for us to live and look for work. Betty and Rafi would join me later. The decision to leave Israel was a painful one. (What made it more painful, perhaps, was the language. In Hebrew, going to live in Israel is aliyah, “going up”; leaving Israel is yeridah, “going down.”)

So when my 40th birthday rolled around in October 1980, we knew that our life in Israel was about to end. When our friends came to our apartment that night, it was with the unspoken feeling that this might be the last time we would see one another.

For us, Jerusalem had been a magical place. In the documentaries I worked on, I told stories about a unique city whose stones breathed a kind of sanctity. But the world in which I lived was also infused with the spirit of the age: sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll. For those of us living a secular life there, it was a time of crazy, all-too-human adventures.

At my 40th birthday party in 1980, there were friends whose personal stories outstripped mine for audacious behavior. There was 25-year-old V., who, after receiving a diagnosis of terminal cancer, set out to live her every fantasy, artistic or erotic. (She would miraculously survive and have to deal with the consequences of her bust-out behavior.) There were A. and M., a married couple who had an arrangement: On alternate nights, A. would be with his other wife. A lovely young woman, R., showed up with her German (non-Jewish) boyfriend and his Israeli-born wife. Apparently, they functioned as a trio. And so on. These were my Jerusalem friends, exploring internal and interpersonal boundaries.

At 3 a.m., under the influence of God-knows-what, I led the group on a hike to Nebi Samuel, a hilltop a few miles away. We got there shortly before dawn, in time to see Bedouin shepherds waking up to tend their flocks. We looked out toward the Old City, imagining that on this very spot in 1099, the Crusaders — inspired by Peter the Hermit and led by Godfrey of Bouillon — planned their assault on Jerusalem. 

As we walked back home, I knew that soon there would be new friends, a new landscape, a new life. Did I feel I was abandoning Israel and my friends? Yes, on both counts.

Fast forward to my 70th birthday party in Zikhron Ya’akov. Here is my sweet 90-year-old mother-in-law, there my wife’s brother and his children and grandchildren — toddlers kicking balls and wearing funny hats. A happy, joyous scene. As I take it all in, my mind races back to my 40th birthday and the decision we made then, 30 years ago.

What would have become of us had we stayed in Israel? Would we have found a way to thrive economically? Would we have held on to the same friends? What about our two sons, Rafi, who was born in Israel while we were living on kibbutz, and Zeke, who was born two years after we arrived in Los Angeles — what would they have been like had they grown to manhood in Israel? Would they have had different values, followed a different path? They would have gone into the Israel Defense Forces, but how would that have affected them?

These thoughts were not a reaction to pain and suffering. Los Angeles has treated Betty and me well. We’ve been blessed with a comfortable life and a wealth of family and friends. We and our two sons are healthy, keinahora. No, what animates these “what if” questions is the inescapable fact that I lived this life and not that one. 

Thirty years ago in Israel, at my 40th birthday, I looked forward to a new life, wondering what the future had in store for me and my family. And now, on my 70th birthday — again in Israel — I looked backward, both to the life I had lived …  and to the life I hadn’t.

Birthdays in Israel, then and now Read More »

Silverado facility confronts elder abuse

Elmore Kittower was 80 when he died in November 2007 at Silverado Senior Living, an assisted-living facility in Calabasas. His death was initially attributed to natural causes; at the time, a sheriff’s deputy told Kittower’s wife of 49 years, Rita, that her husband had “just stopped breathing.”

But after an anonymous whistle-blower tipped off authorities, Kittower’s body was exhumed, and experts found that he had suffered multiple broken bones and blunt- force trauma. The injuries were cited as a contributing factor in his death, and it was soon revealed that a Silverado employee had inflicted them.

The grieving family was left devastated, and the company — one of the premier senior living facilities in the country — was left to sift through the facts to figure out what went wrong.

“We had to look at what we have in place: hiring practices, retention, training,” said Anne Ellett, Silverado’s senior vice president. “We had to put everything on the table, and had weeks-long self-reflection as a company.”

Silverado Senior Living, which has 20 assisted living facilities in four states, is priced well above the national average — residents pay nearly $6,000 a month, compared to the national median cost of $2,575 per month, according to the Assisted Living Federation of America, for a one-bedroom apartment in an assisted living facility. Silverado residents, many of whom have dementia, are given more control over decisions about what to do and how they spend their time, and registered nurses are on site 24 hours a day.

But after Kittower’s death, it became clear that even upscale amenities can’t ensure residents’ safety. Subsequent revelations in court found that Kittower wasn’t the only resident abused by former employee Cesar Ulloa, who was accused of slamming his body into an elderly woman and laughing as he punched another resident in the stomach.

In May 2010, Ulloa received six years in prison for elder abuse and a life sentence for torture.

Steve Winner, Silverado’s chief of culture, said that elder abuse is a tragedy that’s nearly impossible to prevent. Ulloa passed all the tests given by the company in advance of his hiring, he said, including a background check and tests that screen for drug use.

He was so adept at “faking it,” Winner said, that families of other residents hoped he would be acquitted of the abuse charges and given his job back. 

“We had families that said, ‘If he’s cleared, can you bring him back on?’ ” Winner said.

Elder abuse is a problem that’s getting worse nationally. Between 2000 and 2004 alone, reports of elder abuse increased 19.7 percent — from 482,913 to 565,747 — according to the National Center on Elder Abuse, a government agency. The organization estimates that for every one case of abuse reported to authorities, another five go unreported.

If outright prevention is difficult to achieve, though, Silverado claims to be doing everything it can to catch abuse sooner.

Among the company’s initial efforts to ensure swift reporting of abuse was the installation of an anonymous 24-hour hotline for staff (it later came out in court that other employees knew about Ulloa’s actions but never reported them). The facility also implemented new background checks and personality tests for prospective employees.

“It’s amazing how some people answer” the honesty tests, Winner said. “Sometimes bad behavior is so ingrained in your personality that you no longer even recognize it as being a negative trait.”

The facility will also work to uncover personal issues that might be affecting employees.

“Caregivers can be affected by outside stressors — and when we know that that is happening, we can be sure that those people aren’t working with” residents who might trigger those stressors, said Shannon Ingram, Silverado’s senior director of marketing and communications.

The organization now offers staff one-on-one meetings with social workers, during which staff members can talk about pressures they’re facing in their personal lives and learn ways to handle feelings that might be triggered at work. 

Even with all these precautions, finding the right kind of employees to work with dementia patients isn’t easy, said John Danner, clinical social worker at the Memory and Aging Center at USC.

“It’s extremely difficult to recruit people to work in assisted living and nursing homes,” he said. “Since most of jobs are pretty low-paying, it’s a challenge to get people who are good at it and who see it as a career.”

Recently, Silverado also added a somewhat irreverent component to its approach, inviting author Derek Munson to speak to the staff. Munson is the author of “Enemy Pie,” a children’s book that deals with bullying.

While the book may be a bit far-fetched in terms of its link to elder abuse, executives at Silverado — as well as Munson himself — believe that the collaboration represents a mutual philosophy.

“ ‘Enemy Pie’ is about bullying for kids, and it talks about how to recognize a bully, how to react to it — and, in many ways, abuse is a bullying tactic as well,” Winner said.

When it comes to helping people with dementia, though, the most important qualities in caregivers may simply be compassion and patience.

“I believe that everyone with dementia is trying to make sense of the world, and it’s a frightening situation,” Danner said. “If someone isn’t able to handle that, then they shouldn’t be hired.”

Silverado facility confronts elder abuse Read More »

My Single Peeps: Ameenah K.

I am married with a kid and living in Los Angeles. Many of my friends are single. They like to complain to me about how hard it is to find someone to love. (I like to complain about how hard it is living with someone you love.) This is my way of trying to get them off of my back. Every week I’ll post a new single peep, or someone new I meet who might be good for one of my peeps. If you’re interested in anyone you see on My Single Peeps, send an e-mail and a picture, including the person’s name in the subject line, to {encode=”mysinglepeeps@jewishjournal.com” title=”mysinglepeeps@jewishjournal.com”}, and we’ll forward it to your favorite peep.

I met Ameenah when I was in sixth or seventh grade at “Jew camp.” She stuck out like a sore thumb … because she’s so funny. Oh, and she’s black. And there weren’t many black Jews at Jew camp.

No matter where we were in our lives, Ameenah and I always managed to stay in touch. And we often ended up living in the same cities. We’ve both been in Los Angeles for years now, struggling as artists … that is, if you can call having more money than you know what to do with a struggle. I just bought a Maserati and then cut off the top and let the homeless people in my neighborhood use it for a bathroom. That’s just how I roll. Don’t ask me why there are so many homeless people in my neighborhood — I don’t need you people finding holes in my logic. This is about Ameenah, not me … so focus.

Ameenah worked for years performing in the original cast of “Stomp” on Broadway. When we were 15, I showed her how to do a drum lick called a paradiddle. Since then, she’s turned into a sick drummer, and the only thing I still know how to do is a paradiddle. I walk around tapping my hands on my chest, and she’s playing percussion with Rihanna on the American Music Awards. TomAYto, tomAHto.

She can be intense. She’s opinionated and is not afraid to speak her mind. She’s really serious about what she does and tends to use terms like “my craft” when referring to acting. I just call it by the term my wife always uses — “The stupidest decision I’ve ever made.”

Although very much a tomboy and the kind of girl who can “roll with the boys,” she’s all woman. She’s got big, beautiful eyes, and she’s in unbelievable shape, with every muscle clearly defined. She dances and choreographs and has won more awards than I can mention.

She likes her men confident, and she doesn’t discriminate against race, creed, color or religion. But she does discriminate against stupid. So, don’t forget to bring your brains.


Seth Menachem is an actor and writer living in Los Angeles with his wife and daughter. You can see more of his work on his Web site, sethmenachem.com, and meet even more single peeps at mysinglepeeps.com.

My Single Peeps: Ameenah K. Read More »

Refining Our Souls: Parashat Shemini (Leviticus 9:1-11:47)

The aphorism “you are what you eat” first appeared in French and then in German in the 1800s, and was then brought into English in the 1920s by nutritionist Victor Lindlahr, the inventor of the “catabolic diet.” Hippie foodies later adopted the phrase in the 1960s.

But the original place where we find the idea that people and food are intimately connected is in this week’s parashah, Shemini.

The Torah lays out the framework for the original “you are what you eat” manifesto, known to Jews as kashrut. However, kashrut is a real mystery in many ways because it is part of chukim, laws given without any rational reasoning as to why we should follow them.

Throughout our history, from the famous debates of Maimonides and Nachmanides to modern times, commentators, rabbis, scholars and many others have sought to find reasons — medical, spiritual, biological or otherwise — to ascribe meaning to why these limitations were given. We continue to come back to the same answer: Keeping kosher is one of the mitzvot of our tradition that defies logical reason. But this doesn’t mean that there is not great meaning and value in making the choice to eat certain foods and not eat others.

I like to call it spiritual discipline, which is how I describe all mitzvot, especially in an age when the majority of Jews don’t feel commanded by God in this regard, yet are searching for meaning in our wonderful ritual traditions. And, actually, the argument that “God wants us to act in this way” was already rejected by none other than the ancient authors of the classical midrash: “The mitzvot were given to Israel in order to refine people. For what does the Holy One care whether a person kills an animal by the throat or the nape of the neck? Hence the purpose of the mitzvot is to refine people” (Genesis Rabbah 44:1; Leviticus Rabbah 13:3).

Kashrut is important because of the connection between eating and our souls. Not because eel is evil, but because limiting what we eat, for a holy purpose, for the sake of connecting to the mysterious aspects of life, for the sake of connecting to our ancestors, for the sake of connecting to other Jews, are all valuable contributions to the “refinement of our soul.”

My own personal kashrut has changed over the past 19 years. I used to be incredibly strict, eating only in kosher restaurants, eating only foods with OU hekshers. As my own understanding of mitzvot and Jewish practice began to shift, my kashrut has become more of a personal choice. I don’t expect everyone to agree with this, for sure, but I eat vegetarian dishes or fish in any restaurant, in anyone’s home, worrying less about what the food was cooked next to and more about what ends up in my body. I make the conscious choice to not eat the foods prohibited by the Torah, to not mix milk and meat (I don’t eat meat, so that makes it easy) and to keep a spiritual discipline around eating. I believe that this approach is very doable, and I would urge those not keeping any sort of kashrut to try it, connecting to the ancient wisdom of our Torah and our people. Limiting what we eat, especially in today’s world of gluttony, can bring much spiritual depth and reward. In fact, Maimonides does say “that the purpose of kashrut … is to put an end to the lusts and licentiousness manifested in seeking what is most pleasurable and to taking the desire for food and drink as an end” (“Guide for the Perplexed III,” 35).

Lastly, I want to say a word about the emerging Jewish food movement, led by my good friend Nigel Savage at Hazon. To be sure, the ethical practices of humane treatment of animals has gotten lost in modern, billion-dollar agribusiness, which includes some of the major kosher farms. There are those who are questioning whether free-range, organic meat is not more kosher than the industrial-style kosher meat. These are good questions. There are those pushing us to look at the treatment of the workers who grow our food and how that affects its kashrut. This is good. Jewish groups are part of the movement to eat locally grown foods, and many synagogues participate in community-supported agriculture, which is great.

Kashrut is much more than a heksher or a mashgiach, and it is precisely the midrash’s call to “refine our souls” that should be inspiring us to look deeper at this ancient practice. If you are just beginning, start by limiting some of your choices as a spiritual discipline and grow from there. For the Torah was the first to coin the slogan, “You are what you eat.”

Shabbat Shalom and happy kosher eating!

Joshua Levine Grater is senior rabbi at Pasadena Jewish Temple and Center (pjtc.net), a Conservative congregation in Pasadena.

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Philip Glass’ ‘Akhnaten’ at Long Beach Opera

Who was Akhnaten? For composer Philip Glass, this mysterious Egyptian pharaoh, said to be Queen Nefertiti’s husband and the father of King Tutankhamen, was a rebel-hero. In the 14th century B.C.E., Akhnaten defied tradition by attempting to forge a monotheistic religion, and even tried to change Egyptian artistic culture by moving the capital city and building a new one, Amarna, now a ruin.

Glass’ 1983 opera, “Akhnaten,” the last in his trilogy of portrait operas — the others are “Einstein on the Beach” and “Satyagraha,” about Gandhi — was given its West Coast premiere by Long Beach Opera (LBO) at the Terrace Theater on March 19. A repeat performance is scheduled for March 27.

Speaking by phone from New York, Glass projects an undiminished enthusiasm for “Akhnaten.” “You could go into the Metropolitan Museum and see this very weird-looking dude,” Glass recalled, referring to androgynous representations of the pharaoh.

“Akhnaten did something that no one else had done. He flew in the face of a completely traditional society that worshipped the past, and he tried to change it. And, of course, 17 years later [the period of Akhnaten’s reign], they killed him.”

Whether counterrevolutionary powers had Akhnaten assassinated has never been proven, but evidence shows they did try to destroy his memory. “Akhnaten had a short, but very dramatic life,” Glass said. “His name was erased from the list of kings. They vilified him to such a degree that they wanted to eliminate him from their own history.”

It is tempting to politicize the Akhnaten story, as Achim Freyer did for the world premiere in Stuttgart, Germany, in 1984, with the bad guys who overthrow Akhnaten dressed in leather and stomping around the stage in jackboots. And, a few months later, David Freeman’s American premiere for the Houston Grand Opera took a more overtly sexual and literal approach, with sexy dances, an Oedipal subtext (Akhnaten’s mother is a bombshell) and tons of sand brought on stage to evoke Egypt.

The efficient LBO production avoided such political-sexual angles on this historically and metaphorically loaded story, conveying instead a timeless, almost floating, quality. In terms of dress, Akhnaten’s androgyny is only suggested. Counter-tenor Jochen Kowalski wears a white jacket and pants with some skirtlike material draped around him. And video designer Frieder Weiss’ tastefully phantasmagoric images are refreshingly free of Egyptian visual clichés — no mummies, pyramids or sand.

Not that going full Egyptian on the set and costume design is anathema to Glass. The composer, in Atlanta a few years ago for what he thought would be a concert version of “Akhnaten,” suddenly found himself faced with the mother lode of Egyptian clichés.

“When I got there, they discovered a storage room with all the Egyptian costumes and sets from an old production of ‘Aida,’ ” Glass recalled. “And they said, ‘Why don’t we just do the opera with them and see what happens?’ ”

Glass was wary. “Because ‘Aida’ is one of the most widely performed operas in the repertoire, everybody has to deal with this Egyptian kitsch.” But the “Aida”-ized “Akhnaten” turned out well. “It looked great,” Glass said. “You didn’t think of it as kitsch at all, because the music wasn’t. The music took you to a certain place. It was kind of funny, because it was a really traditional ‘Aida,’ but it worked.”

For LBO’s artistic and general director, Andreas Mitisek, “Akhnaten” needed “a totally different approach” than that of a regular opera. “It’s a highly stylized work, as Egyptian art was,” Mitisek said. “There is metaphorical imagery that you can interpret as being related to Egypt, but the further you stay away from being too literal, the more you can portray the timeless meaning of the story.”

Shalom Goldman, a professor of Hebrew and Middle Eastern studies at Emory University, who worked on the Egyptian, Akkadian and Hebrew texts of “Akhnaten,” sees the pharaoh as a figure of both myth and history, like Gilgamesh, Alexander the Great and Cleopatra.

“He lives on in the mythic imagination,” Goldman said, “which may not dovetail exactly with the strict historical description. He is important to scholars, adventurers and romantics, because Egyptians wiped out his name, destroyed his statues and buried his city. In the 1880s, parts of the city were discovered. For thousands of years, nobody knew about this guy.”

Goldman said Akhnaten started to become a cultural hero in the West around 1904. And by 1937, in “Moses and Monotheism,” Freud was speculating that the monotheistic ideas of the Hebrews may have come from Akhnaten.

“Because the Hebrews were slaves in Egypt, it would be natural to think so,” Goldman said. In the opera’s centerpiece, Akhnaten sings a “Hymn to the Sun,” based on a text said to be either written or authorized by him. “And then the chorus sings in Hebrew from Psalms about the glory of God. So that’s where we’re suggesting that in the ancient world, these ideas could go underground for a while and then resurface again.”

But was Akhnaten really the first monotheist?

Goldman, who also teaches a “Discovering Ancient Egypt” course at Emory, said that’s no longer accepted as fact. “He simplified the Egyptian religion,” Goldman said. “He took it down to one god, symbolized by the sun. It’s not quite the monotheism of a transcendent god in some other dimension. Rather, Akhnaten said there’s a god on earth, and I’m his human manifestation. And you need to worship him through me.”

For Goldman, the portrait of Akhnaten in Glass’ opera is not inaccurate. “Though there is now more uncertainty about it, some of this is academic fashion — a portrait of the past gets constructed, and a new generation feels that it is its job to ‘deconstruct’ the work of their intellectual forebears.”

Glass said the Akhnaten story has become “part of our collective unconscious”; then he corrected himself. “I would say it’s part of our collective conscious, because it’s not unconscious. Somehow, by really good luck, my ‘Akhnaten’ fell into the wake of this big ship, which is Egyptology, and got swept into some kind of, well, I would say, respectability almost.”

“Akhnaten.” March 27, 2 p.m. $25-$110. Long Beach Opera, Terrace Theater, 300 E. Ocean Blvd., Long Beach. (562) 436-3661. longbeachopera.org.

Rick Schultz writes about music for the Los Angeles Times and other publications.

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Milken Institute brainstorms funding for Israel heritage sites

Jerusalem — It’s one thing to unearth ancient artifacts, remnants of glorious past civilizations; it’s another thing to pay for their excavation, maintenance and conservation.

That’s long been the challenge for Israel — and other nations with historically deep roots — whose archaeological and other heritage sites far outnumber the financial means to support them.

The Milken Institute, a Santa Monica-based economic think tank, has come up with a plan to alleviate the problem. Its recent report, “Cultural Heritage as an Economic Development Resource in Israel,” says the kinds of start-up financing models used in the private economic sphere “could not only help preserve and protect” the country’s 30,000 identified archaeological sites, “but also provide local and national economic growth.”

The outgrowth of a Milken “Financial Innovations Lab” that brought together three dozen researchers, policymakers and professionals, the report notes that the entire 2008 budget for the Israel Antiquities Authority was a mere $36 million.

Even worse, Israel’s Nature and Parks Authority, which maintains the sites once they are excavated, received just $4 million in 2009 to spend on site development.

Without assigning blame, the authors call these sums “woefully low,” given that archaeology “is arguably one of the country’s most valuable asset pools.” Today, they say, two-thirds of Israel’s 64 developed archaeological sites operate “in the red.”

This despite the fact that, a year ago, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu announced the creation of a $100 million National Heritage Infrastructure Plan to renovate 150 biblical and archaeological sites over a five-year period.

The authors propose a number of funding models, most involving some sort of private investment.

One option is community micro-financing that would leverage loans and donations to finance local heritage sites. Another option: venture capital funding that links archaeological conservation with the tourism, small business and retail industries.

The authors also recommend the sale of low-risk archaeological development bonds to provide long-term project financing. Funding could come from antiquity leasing, media content, intellectual property, artisan crafts and replica merchandise.

In an interview with the Jewish Journal in Jerusalem, Glenn Yago, Milken’s director of capital studies and the report’s co-author, said a handful of Israeli archeological sites and attractions, such as Masada, are already self-sustaining, even profitable.

“The Dead Sea Scrolls generate a great deal of income,” Yago said, noting that, like the King Tut artifacts housed in the Egyptian Museum in Cairo, the scrolls generate income through visitor entry fees to the Israel Museum, touring exhibitions, reprints and documentaries, to name a few.

Yago gave especially high marks to the city of Rome’s award-winning Rome Reborn Project, a three-dimensional virtual tour of ancient Rome that is, by all accounts, a great success. It was developed by academics at UCLA and other universities.

Bernard Frischer, who spearheaded the project, said the initial funding came from “some enlightened philanthropists in Los Angeles, especially our first sponsor, Kirk Mathews and the Creative Kids Education Foundation.”

Intel, Microsoft, Alitalia, Google and the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation also have been among its sponsors. Today the model is commercialized, and the company responsible has borne development costs, Frischer said from Rome.

Today, a Rome-based company uses the 3-D film in a theater near the Colosseum. Another company is developing an iPhone app so tourists can get information as they walk around the city. Several game companies are considering the use of  Rome Reborn’s model.

“Here, archaeology created an enormous amount of value,” Yago said. “Intellectual property became commercialized into an array of products that became income-producing properties.

Yago said Rome Reborn has generated “a tremendous amount” of income via tourism; video game development;  movies; education; and products and services relating to Rome Reborn.

A Jerusalem Reborn project, which would depict the city in the time of the Second Temple, is being developed.

“All that’s missing is financial support,” Frischer said.

There are many places the money for Jerusalem Reborn and other projects could come from, Yago said.  

“Private investors don’t have to be venture capitalists. They can be churches, museums, foundations. Restaurants, boutique shops. Something that employs people.”

At the ancient city Caesarea, for example, the wondrous archaeological ruins, including a Roman amphitheater that hosts concerts, is one part of a larger complex of beachfront restaurants and one-of-a-kind shops. There’s also an immaculate little beach, which charges a small fee.  

Yago believes hundreds, even thousands of Israeli cultural sites have commercial potential.  For one thing, he would like to see the Judean Desert, the scene of so many biblical events and the home of several monasteries, developed into a major pilgrimage route.

“There is a huge cultural heritage right outside Jerusalem,” Yago noted. “All three monotheistic religions have roots in the Judean wilderness.”

While he wishes he had the resources to develop and conserve many more sites, Yosi Bordovitch, northern regional head of the Parks Authority, expressed concern that private investment could harm national treasures.

“True, we don’t have enough money, but there’s an ethical question. It’s a question of where to draw limits. These sites belong to the nation and people of Israel. “

Today, private businesses are prohibited from operating in sites run by the Parks Authority, Bordovitch emphasized.

“On the top of Masada, you can’t buy a bottle of water,” he noted. “Instead, there are water faucets.”

At the base of Masada, however, there is a youth hostel, a restaurant and a museum.

“Hundreds of thousands of people visit Masada every year, and you must give them some services,” Bordovitch said.

The parks administrator said he would not rule out private investment to preserve Israel’s cultural heritage.

“It all depends on what each side will receive in return. If the heritage sites are protected and people receive something they can enjoy, in a good way, then I’m in,” Bordovitch said.

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