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March 7, 2010

List of things I plan on changing or making better this year:

List of things I plan on changing or making better this year:

1. All my towels are crusty. I need new ones. Tj Maxx better have a good sale.
2. Stop writing cheesy lines like: “Years ago I heard a caller chime into the Dr. Laura program complaining about a girlfriend….” Did I actually just quote Dr. Laura on my blog?  No wonder I only get 200 readers a day- I suck.
3. Work on self- esteem.
4. Buy a pair of Ray Bans to avoid eye cancer and look cool at the same time. (This may help w #3)
5. Eat flaxseed daily.  (My cousin’s a nutritionist and told me it will help with hunger pangs. So far I’m still craving all of aisle four in the supermarket.)
6. Get a spray tan. (I’m a little afraid of wasting away in a white glaze of sorrowful pasty Goth that could be confused with a low blood count and writing indoors for several hours hinting to not having a life.  Am I nervous about standing naked in front of a powerful sprayer inside a small airless cramped booth while inhaling the fumes?  Oh G-d yes. Yes I am. But as Aunty Rose always said, “Beauty takes pain”.)
7. Make an appointment with the therapist to get over being in small spaces.
8. Stop writing shallow lines like “beauty takes pain.” Stop being shallow.
9. Buy a dairy pot big enough to make onion soup. Get recipe for onion soup.
10. Take on an art project like refinishing my dining room chairs. Oh who am I kidding?
11. Replace hot dog night with vegan night. (So not gonna happen.)
12. Buy a new crock-pot, since the old one just exploded in the plug socket. Not good.
13. Take one day at a time. Live, love, laugh.  Have an attitude of gratitude. Let go or be dragged.  Basically, work on collecting as many Alanon and AA quotes so I don’t forget how to be normal.
14. Get normal.
15. Buy more paper for my purse. Get a new pen.
16. Compliment husband more.
17. Try not to glaze over when one of my children decides to share their long school stories that don’t really have a beginning middle or end.
18. Watch Avatar in the theater because if I don’t I may have missed a monumental 3D occasion. (I don’t really have a desire; this is more out of obligation than anything else.  Three hours of sitting with glasses while floating in another world, which could start up a bout of vertigo is just so unappealing when the other theater has a another flick playing with a lot less commitment.  I show up to the theater think about going, know it is my screenwriting obligation but just can’t bring myself to buy a ticket.  Why? Why? Maybe if I brought a tub of ice cream with I’d be more inclined.)
19. Buy ice cream.
20. Buy, rent, or just do something with my house that will require having a little more stability in my life. (Geeze, I sound like a person who lives in a box on the blvd.)
21. Make amends to Dr. Laura.

 

 

List of things I plan on changing or making better this year: Read More »

Sandra Bullock And All That Razz

“When I said I will show up, I miraculously won,” said Sandra Bullock, accepting her award for worst actress at the 30th annual Razzie Awards, which honors

dishonors Hollywood’s worst on the eve of the Oscars, March 6 at Hollywood’s Barnsdall Gallery Theatre.  Bullock is the first actress ever to be nominated for both a Razzie and an Oscar in the same weekend.

Bullock was welcomed with a standing ovation at the award ceremony as she both surprised and delighted the audience by making an appearance.  She came equipped with a shooting script from “All About Steve,” the film in question.  She told the audience, “I’m willing to go through page by page, read the line the way I did it in the film and, if anyone wants to give me a line read of how I could’ve done it better.”  She also brought in a wagon filled with DVDs of her film to give to the audience members and asked that everyone actually watch the film and rethink their decision.  “I’ll show up again next year if you promise to watch the movie and really consider if it was the worst performance of the year and if it isn’t, I’ll give back the Razzie,” said Bullock.

Bullock picked up a second Razzie as well for her and costar Bradley Cooper for worst screen couple. 

Bullock left a fundraising event with Jeffrey Katzenberg to attend the Awards and added, “Now I’ve got to get back to that event, because you know, it’s Jeffrey Katzenberg and he can basically prevent me from ever working again.”

Along with Bullock, the big winner of the evening was “Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen” which won in three categories for worst picture, worst screenplay and Michael Bay for worst director. 

Other winners included “Battlefield Earth,” which is based on an L. Ron Hubbard novel, won worst picture of the decade.  Eddie Murphy was honored as worst actor of the decade and hailed “the Energizer bunny of bad movies.” 

Paris Hilton won for worst actress of the decade for her unknown roles in “The Hottie and The Nottie,” “House of Whacks,” and “Repo: The Genetic Opera.”

Disney’s Jonas Brothers (all three of them) won for worst actor(s) for “Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience.”

In the supporting actor category, Billy Ray Cyrus won for “Hannah Montana: The Movie,” while Sienna Miller won for best supporting actress for her role in “GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra.”

No less than thirty two films were considered for the category of ‘worst prequel, remake, rip-off or sequel,’ where the winner was “Land of The Lost.”

Perhaps tonight at the Oscars, Bullock can continue her winning streak and be

dis

honored this time.

Nominees and Winners for the 30th Annual Razzie Awards

WORST PICTURE OF 2009

“All About Steve”

“G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra”

“Land of the Lost”

“Old Dogs”

“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” (a.k.a. “Trannies, Too”)
 


WORST ACTOR OF 2009 

All Three Jonas Brothers, “Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience”
Will Ferrell, “Land of the Lost”  

Steve Martin, “Pink Panther 2” 

Eddie Murphy, “Imagine That” 

John Travolta, “Old Dogs”

WORST ACTRESS Of 2009 

Beyonce, “Obsessed”

Sandra Bullock, “All About Steve” 

Myley Cyrus, “Hannah Montana: The Movie” 

Megan Fox, “Jennifer’s Body” and “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” 

Sarah Jessica Parker, “Did You Hear About the Morgans?”

WORST SCREEN COUPLE OF 2009 

Any Two (or More) Jonas Brothers, “The Jonas Brothers 3-D Concert Experience” 

Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper, “All About Steve” 

Will Ferrell and any co-star, Creature or “Comic Riff,” “Land of the Lost”  

Shia Lebouf & Either Megan Fox or Any Transformer, “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”

Kristin Stewart and either Robert Pattinson or Taylor Whatz-His-Fang, “Twilight Saga: New Moon”

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS OF 2009 

Candice Bergen, “Bride Wars” 

Ali Larter, “Obsessed” 

Sienna Miller, “G.I. Joe” 

Kelly Preston,“Old Dogs” 

Julie White (as Mom), “Trannies, Too”

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR OF 2009 

Billy Ray Cyrus, “Hannah Montana: The Movie” 

Hugh Hefner (as himself), “Miss March” 

Robert Pattinson, “Twilight Saga: New Moon” 

Jorma Taccone (as Cha-Ka), “Land of the Lost”  
Marlon Wayans, “G.I. Joe”

WORST REMAKE, RIP-OFF OR SEQUEL (COMBINED CATEGORY FOR 2009) 

“G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra”

“Land of the Lost” 
“Pink Panther 2” (A Rip-Off of a Sequel to a Remake)

“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”
“Twilight Saga: New Moon”

WORST DIRECTOR OF 2009 

Michael Bay, “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”
Walt Becker, “Old Dogs” 

Brad Silberling, “Land of the Lost”  

Stephen Sommers, “G.I. Joe” 

Phil Traill, “All About Steve”

WORST SCREENPLAY OF 2009   

“All About Steve,” screenplay by Kim Barker

“G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra,” screenplay by Stuart Beattie and David Elliot & Paul Lovett, based on Hasbro’s G.I. Joe Characters.

“Land of the Lost,” written by Chris Henchy & Dennis McNicholas, based on Sid & Marty Krofft’s TV series

“Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen,” written By Ehren Kruger & Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, based on Hasbro’s Transformers Action Figures 

“Twilight Saga: New Moon,” screenplay by Melissa Rosenberg, based on the novel by Stephenie Meyer

WORST PICTURE OF THE DECADE (3 SPECIAL 30TH RAZZIE-VERSARY AWARDZ)

“Battlefield Earth” (2000)—Nominated for 10 Razzies, “winner” of 8 (including Worst Drama of Our First 25 Years)
“Freddy Got Fingered” (2001)—Nominated for nine Razzies, “winner” of five

“Gigli” (2003)—Nominated for 10 Razzies, winner of seven (including Worst Comedy of Our First 25 Years)

“I Know Who Killed Me” (2007)—Nominated for nine Razzies, “winner” of eight

“Swept Away” (2002)—Nominated for nine Razzies, “winner” of five

WORST ACTOR OF THE DECADE 

Ben Affleck —(Nominated for nine “achievements,“winner” of two Razzies) “Daredevil,” “Gigli,” “Jersey Girl,” “Paycheck,” “Pearl Harbor,” “Surviving Christmas” 

Eddie Murphy—(Nominated for 12 “achievements,” “winner” of three Razzies) “Adventures of Pluto Nash,” “I Spy,” “Imagine That,” “Meet Dave,” “Norbit,” “Showtime”

Mike Myers—(Nominated for four “achievements,” “winner” of two Razzies), “Cat in the Hat,” “The Love Guru”

Rob Schneider—(Nominated for six “achievements,” “winner” of one Razzie) “The Animal,” “Benchwarmers,” “Deuce Bigalo: European Gigolo,” “Grandma’s Boy,” “The Hot Chick,” “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry,” “Little Man,” “Little Nicky” 

John Travolta—(Nominated for six “achievements,” “winner” of the Razzies) “Battlefield Earth,” “Domestic Disturbance,” “Lucky Numbers,” “Old Dogs,” “Swordfish”

WORST ACTRESS OF THE DECADE 

Mariah Carey – (The Single Biggest Individual Vote Getter of the Decade: 70+% Of ALL Votes For Worst Actress Of 2001), “Glitter”

Paris Hilton (Nominated for five “Achievements,”  “Winner” of four Razzies) “The Hottie & The Nottie,” “House of Whacks,” “Repo: The Genetic Opera”
Lindsay Lohan—(Nominated for five “achievements,”  “winner” of three Razzies) “Herbie Fully Loaded,” “I Know Who Killed Me,” “Just My Luck” 

Jennifer Lopez—(Nominated for nine “achievements,” “winner” of two Razzies) “Angel Eyes,” “Enough,” “Gigli,” “Jersey Girl,” “Maid in Manhattan,” “Monster-in-Law,” “The Wedding Planner”

Madonna—(Nominated for six “achievements,” “winner” of four Razzies) “Die Another Day,” “The Next Best Thing,” “Swept Away”

 

 

 

 

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Saving LA, or The Front Yard Artichoke [RECIPE}

Over the weekend, I was mulling my second list—Nine Ways To Make LA an Ultimate Food City—as well as the comments it provoked, and it occurred to me that by making LA a better food city, we will make it a better city in general.  Cleaner, more prosperous, more just, more accessible, more fun, with healthier, smarter children to boot. Just by focusing on something too many of us see as indulgent—the quality of our food—we can effect great and much-needed changes throughout our whole society. 

Consider this thread: I want to eat plenty of fresh artichokes.  Three years ago I ripped out the front lawn that came with our Venice house, and planted it with artichokes.  I get two crops each year.  Last summer I estimated my artichoke harvest at 130 pounds. Today, looking out my window, I see the plants are ready to bud out.  The goat manure they’ve gobbled—another post on another day—has thickened their ribs and sent their spear-shaped leaves out four fee in each directions. The buds themselves are sweet as Cynar, as delicious raw as cooked.  Here’s the benefit to the city: my food-centric landscaping uses less water—but produces food with the water it does use.  It attracts bees, especially when I let some of the buds blossom, and my front lawn is studded with bursts of blue choke thistle.  I share the harvest with neighbors, many of whom I’ve met as they stop to admire the stretch of farm interrupting the street’s lawn lawn lawn scape. In sum: we eat better, our home looks better, our neighborhood feels closer, and we put less strain on the environment. A better city through better food.

Years ago in an essay, author/eater Jim Harrison called for the betterment of America’s restaurants.  He wanted America to be more like France, where even truck stops served memorable meals. “We’re not necessarily talking the fate of nations here….” he wrote. But maybe we are.  Maybe how we eat has more to do with our city’s and our nations’ fate than we know.  We do know that it directly determines our body’s fate, so why not that of our body politic?  Improve our food, improve our city.  Better food, a better country.  There’s a Green Party, why not a Food Party?  Better yet, a Slow Food Party? Just think about it, a party platform that comes with recipes…

Roasted Artichoke Buds

By the end of the artichoke season, I have bags full of the smaller artichoke buds, and I needed to find a way to clan, cook and serve them quickly, while they were still fresh, but without a lot of hassle.  This is that way.  Eating them is a messy, finger intensive process, the same as picking through Dungeness crab hearts on Fisherman’s Wharf or Chesapeake Bay crabs down by the Potomac in Washington DC.  But um, kosher.  I pick off the smaller buds—though this works for even larger ones—and leave them to soak in salted water for an hour. The earwigs that inevitably crawl out go straight to the chickens.  After a careful rinse,  they are ready to use.

Artichoke Buds

Olive Oil

Fresh Thyme

Fresh Bay leaves

Garlic, crushed

Splash of white wine

Salt and Pepper

Preheat oven to 500 degrees. In a large roasting pan or tray, toss ingredients together in a proportion that makes sense.  You want to flavor without overpowering, and you want enough oil to shine up each choke.  Cover and place in oven until soft, about 40 minutes.  Remove cover and finish roasting, stirring occasionally, until the edges are brown and crisp, about 20 minutes.

Serve hot, warm or cold.  You eat this by picking off the inedible parts and sucking up the soft meaty ones.

 

Saving LA, or The Front Yard Artichoke [RECIPE} Read More »

Jewish leaders meet with University of California president

 

University administrators don’t envy Mark Yudof these days. The UC president has been under heavy fire for tuition hikes and faculty pay-cuts stemming for California’s fiscal insolvency; he’s had to written letter to the entire university system promoting diversity after that “Compton Cookout”; and he’s still dealing with the Israeli-Palestinian conflict—at UC Irvine.

Last week, a day before massive protests at Berkeley and UCLA, Orange County Jewish leaders brought their concerns about the climate at UCI to Yudof’s Oakland office. According to a press release from the group—Shalom Elcott, president and CEO of the Jewish Federation Orange County; Gerald Solomon of the Samueli Foundation; and Jeff Margolis and Dr. Jim Weiss of the Jewish Federation’s Rose Project—Yudof told them he was unhappy with the way students involved with the Muslim Student Union repeatedly disrupted a recent speech by Israeli Ambassador Michael Oren and that:

These students should be prosecuted for violating the student code of conduct and breaking the law.

He agreed that, pending an investigation with full due process, the Muslim Student Union (MSU) should be disciplined for their violations of campus codes of conduct.

As for the future of the University of California and my tuition of $40,000 next year …

Jewish leaders meet with University of California president Read More »

Chile’s Jews providing comfort

I left Santiago, Chile, with my wife and four children exactly two months before the massive earthquake hit on Feb. 27. My wife and I had founded NCSY in South America (Chile and Argentina) seven years ago while living in Chile.

Earthquakes were a topic of conversation in my eight years in Chile. Those who experienced the last major earthquake in 1985—now it sounds minor—could never forget the sound and terror. There was always talk of another impending quake.

We heard of the 8.8 magnitude quake as Shabbat ended here in Los Angeles, nearly an entire day after it happened. We started speaking to friends and former students immediately after Shabbat.

Their stories were the same:

“We woke up at 3:34 Shabbat morning as our beds began to shake. Everything shook tremendously for 90 seconds, but it seemed like forever. We made our way to what we hoped was the most secure part of the house and said Shema Yisrael.”

In the words of Rabbi Efraim Sauer, director of the very successful Morasha outreach kollel (institute for advanced Jewish studies) and a close friend, “Everyone I have spoken to—friends, students, everyone—said the Shema during those 90 seconds.”

Efraim’s wife, Chava, describes a flurry of activity—hiding, praying, children running. Most people ended up in the streets in their pajamas until they could work up the courage to go back inside their homes.

Looking at videos online of the destruction in Chile paints a picture of a desperate situation. Speaking to close friends creates a different feeling.

During the Musaf service of Yom Kippur we pray, regarding the earthquake-prone Sharon Valley of Israel, that “their homes should not become their graves.”

The Jewish community of Chile is located almost entirely in the newest part of Santiago. Leaving the question of why aside for a moment, it appears that the Jewish community of Chile escaped, at least physically, nearly unscathed. Some 185 miles from scenes of desperation and despair, the Jewish community began immediately to play the role of helper instead of victim.

Another close friend, Rabbi Chaim Waissbluth of Aish Hatorah in Chile, is leading one campaign. The community is being urged to bring clothing, pillows, blankets, medicine, food and water to the local Aish center. At the same time, the community gathers together to say tehillim (psalms) on behalf of the rest of Chile.

Further south, the brother of a close friend awaits reinforcements on their way from Santiago. He lived in a port town that was destroyed by the quake and the rising tides that followed. Instead of heading back home to Santiago, he has chosen to stay put, to help recovery efforts while Jewish university students are recruited to drive his father’s truck to him with supplies and reinforcements.

True to our increasingly well-known nature, the Jews of Chile look outward to see who and how to help.

There is a more difficult side to talk about. The livelihood of many Jews who live in Santiago comes from businesses located in some of the hardest-hit regions. I have many friends, for example, who work making kosher wines in the Maule Valley of Chile. Others own businesses in or near Concepcion, the area hardest hit by the quake.

At this point it is hard to know what will happen to these family businesses, which are an integral part of the Jewish community.

I have said many times that there is something special about the Jewish community of Chile, which according to estimates runs from 12,000 to 15,000, most of whom live in Santiago. There is an incredible amount of Torah learning and mitzvot performing growing exponentially each year.

So it’s not surprising to me that an integral part of the community’s response to the tragedy and challenge of the quake would revolve around spiritual growth.

Chana Bengio, who took over operations of NCSY in South America, explained the contrast between how the Jewish community dealt with the quake during the first hours.

Chana also teaches in the religious day school, and after asking the non-Jewish secular studies teachers about their first post-quake day she said, “Their entire day was running to the car trying to find a radio signal to hear what was going on, while we said ‘Baruch Hashem, we are OK,’ the men went to shul and it was Shabbat.”

NCSY in South America works predominantly with students who attend Jewish community schools that lack any serious Torah curriculum. Karen Brilovich, an 11th-grader with whom my wife and I remain very close, told me the following story:

She was in Vin del Mar, a popular vacation site on the Pacific Coast 75 miles northwest of Santiago. It was Friday night, and she and her boyfriend felt bad about joining her friends for a typical night of dancing at the local discos on the beach. For some reason she was brought to tears by the thought that she was at a club on Shabbat.

Karen and her boyfriend decided to return to the condo where she was staying to salvage what was left of erev Shabbat, to create some semblance of the Shabbat that is becoming an increasingly important part of her life. She remembers leaving the front door open because she and her friend were alone together in the house, and she wanted to keep the laws of proper behavior while waiting for her friends at the club to come home.

At 3:34 the house began to shake. While the condo shook, they said the Shema with an intensity reserved for such moments. As soon as the shaking stopped, they ran out the open door and found their way downstairs to the lobby of the condo, where others now gathered. Karen remembers hearing soon after that many people were trapped behind doors that would not open as she conveys her conviction that her concern for Shabbat and the laws of behavior helped her through this situation.

Her thoughts quickly turned to the friends she left at the club near the beach. There was little else to do but wait. They wandered outside and happened across other friends, but there were no sign of the ones she left behind. Finally they arrived after walking all the way.

Karen remembers their first words as they reunited: “They said they thought of me the whole time, that they should have left the club with me, and that they never want to go out to clubs again on Shabbat. They said that they feel that God touched them from above showing that He is in complete control.”

While I and my family are now physically thousands of miles away, emotionally we are with the incredible Jewish community of Chile—our students and dear friends. We pray that they continue to find the strength to reach out and help each other and the general community of Chile, and that those whose livelihood has been affected, with the help of God, find an abundance of blessing and success.

Rabbi Shimon Vinger, director of the West Coast region of NCSY based in Los Angeles, formerly was the director of NCSY, the Orthodox Union’s international youth program, in Chile for seven years.

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Webcast: Iranian Jewish Attorney Yebri recognized by PJA

Photo
Iranian Jewish attorney and activist Sam Yebri, photo by Karmel Melamed

Nearly two years ago 20-something L.A. area Iranian Jewish attorney Sam Yebri made a name for himself by forming the now popular “30 Years After” organization among Southern California’s emerging successful young Iranian American Jewish professionals. Today the larger Jewish community in the city has taken noticed of his remarkable efforts as the Iranian Jewish community in L.A. which was once afraid of political activism has now embraced the concept of participating in our democracy. On March 4th the L.A. based Progressive Jewish Alliance (PJA) recognized Yebri with their Young Changemaker award for his efforts in encouraging young Iranian Jews to become socially and politically activity through his group “30 Years After”.

While our blog and podcast have been following the activities of “30 Years After” since their formation two years ago, our webcast recently caught up with Yebri for a one-on-one interview about this new honor, his activities with the PJA and where he sees the future of social activism among Iranian American Jews. The following is our webcast interview with Yebri….

Even though a number of younger Iranian Jewish professionals attended the PJA gathering that was honoring Yebri, the organization’s left leaning views regarding a whole host of topics including labor unions, gay marriage or immigration may not be all that popular among the generation of older Iranian Jews who tend to be more conservative. Nevertheless, Yebri, who is also among one of the most eligible bachelors in L.A.’s Iranian Jewish community, will most certainly attract attention for the PJA among younger folks in our community. No doubt the Iranian Jewish community has its eyes on Yebri as he continues his community activism and perhaps may even enter the public sector in the not to distant future.

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