As seen at ” title=”www.send-email.org”>www.send-email.org to merissag[at]gmail[dot]com.
Dear Yenta:
I recently started seeing a man who has a repertoire of “fetish”
delights. He likes toes, he likes big booty ho’s and he also likes
to lick brown eye hole. I am of course conflicted. While I try to
judge no one for the way the world delights them, I find a strange
blend of pure joy and pleasure from his escapades “back there,” as
well as a subtle form of judgment about his predilection. I mean,
who actually likes to stick their face in ass? It makes me suspect of
him as a person which is a bit judgmental really. And besides, it’s
not unheard of. But I question his psychology too – like is he into
being HUMILIATED? or is this just the trick that makes his stick tick?
Help Yenta!
-Bootylicious
Dear Bootylicious,
The truth is, LOTS of people enjoy this practice in a million forms. “Fingers in the ass again,” is how The Notorious B. I.G. referenced it in his song “Get your grind on.”
When I was in high school someone once told a nasty hurtful rumor about me and this practice, which I certainly had not engaged in at 16. The reason it was nasty was because of the outward associations we have with this part of the body. The rumor was meant to degrade me so I see where you are coming from with your trepidation.
In reality, though, annilingus is a common practice among sexually active adults for a simple reason: it covers an erogenous zone full of millions of sensitive nerve endings that provoke intense pleasure. See www.whitelotuseast.com for a tutorial.
Your partner may simply be excited about entering this taboo space, not associating it with defilement as you might. In addition, he might be elated at the idea of pleasuring you, which is not such a sin.
Generally, like you said, it is best not to judge or emotionally assess people’s sexual needs. A healthy sex life can look a million ways, and sexual behavior does not always correlate to surface emotions. But, that is not to say that you don’t have a right to your own discomfort. Is this someone you are both emotionally and physically intimate with? Is there space for a conversation between sexual acts? It is possible you need to hear him out as to why he loves doing this.
Also, you might want to revisit your own relationship with your rear. Why would wanting to kiss you there be something humiliating for a man? Your vagina floods with blood every month, and I don’t know if human waste is so repulsive when puritan attitudes are ditched. And what about this practice reflects his psyche? I wonder if you like or respect the man to begin with. It is possible that he repulses you, and you are projecting all that repulsion on what he is doing to your body.
Ultimately, communication is key in bed. Communication and some feeling of trust, either long-established or gutteral. Either way, your own view of your own body and the things done to it, knowing your pleasures and repulsions, will keep you from asking too many questions about the sanity of your partner. Knowing your own limits in bed takes a lot of stress away from awkward tongue-tickling moments. I recommend Aphrodite’s Daughters : Women’s Sexual Stories and the Journey of the Soul by Jalaja Bonheim as a way to start cultivating your bedroom self-image. Also, this odd site: www.sexwithoutshame.com.
| ReASSessing Read More »
As Havdallah winds down and a few minutes lapse before dinner, the LimmudLA conference contains the same energy as previous years, but with perhaps more diversity within the ranks and more intensity in the classrooms.
Two years ago, when I was last here for the first LimmudLA, my first experience of the weekend-long Jewish learning experience, I found myself running from Torah study to marketing study group to comedy hours. And at that time, the largest number of participants in the all-volunteer experience were modern Orthodox; this time that group remains well represented, but there are more Conservative, Reform, secular and alternative types. More talk of Tikkun Olam (healing the world and social justice), of equality for women (a session on the Agunah, for example) and much talk of Israel, but from new angles.
I have been to four different sessions on Israel, Zionism, Plurality, and all boiled down to one theme – if Israel doesn’t confront the religious unrest among Jews, to create a more pluralistic approach to Judaism, the country could become deeply compromised economically as well as ethically. The religious Right has a stronghold on the politics of the state that seems disproportionate with their numbers. I am sorting through the words I heard all day, Shabbat, when I couldn’t take notes, but tried hard to remember.
I will write more about this, but I’m left with the question of why there’s so much talk of this domestic issue now, when I haven’t heard it so much before.
And the answer I got from Dr. Ariel Picard, director of the Center for Education at the Shalom Hartman Institute in Jerusalem was quite encouraging: Israel is maturing, and it’s time to look inward. The issue of safety and strength may not be settled, but in many quarters, Israelis are feeling more secure.
The issue of respect for religious differences may be the great civil rights fight of Israel’s future. And we’re hearing a lot about that here at LimmudLA. In Costa Mesa.
Live From LimmudLA: Shabbat Winds Down Read More »
It was already close to midnight Saturday night when I pushed myself to go downstairs—with the draw that Dov Rosenblatt, singer, songwriter of the band ” title=”Matt Barr”>Matt Barr, a rapper from Jerusalem joined the band, and I am not equipped to describe the magic that followed, that would take someone more musical and knowledgeable about rap than me, but I would just say Watch for this Guy.
Informal and often a bit jumbled, the session was far more musically professional and funny and emotional than I’d expected. Partly due, in fact, to Dov Rosenblatt’s generous spirit and soulful hosting of all concerned. He has been a favorite of mine for years, for his music and mix of spirituality and pop.
There is a very new Jewish music happening, and I felt that I was witnessing it. Live from Limmud.
Update: I’ve learned that the mom’s name is Linda Korn…Glad to give her the recognition!
LIVE From LimmudLA: Jammin’ JEWS Read More »
The New York Times had a cute and quirky but ridiculous trend story recently about cagefighting taking over evangelical churches as a new vehicle for outreach and evangelism. Here’s an excerpt:
Mr. Renken’s ministry is one of a small but growing number of evangelical churches that have embraced mixed martial arts — a sport with a reputation for violence and blood that combines kickboxing, wrestling and other fighting styles — to reach and convert young men, whose church attendance has been persistently low. Mixed martial arts events have drawn millions of television viewers, and one was the top pay-per-view event in 2009.
Recruitment efforts at the churches, which are predominantly white, involve fight night television viewing parties and lecture series that use ultimate fighting to explain how Christ fought for what he believed in. Other ministers go further, hosting or participating in live events.
The goal, these pastors say, is to inject some machismo into their ministries — and into the image of Jesus — in the hope of making Christianity more appealing. “Compassion and love — we agree with all that stuff, too,” said Brandon Beals, 37, the lead pastor at Canyon Creek Church outside of Seattle. “But what led me to find Christ was that Jesus was a fighter.”
Uh huh … Read the rest here or a bit of criticism on the theological foundation and journalism for this story over at GetReligion.
The above video is only so relevant. But it’s really funny.
Cagefighting with the pastor Read More »
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