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September 22, 2009

The Simpsons Do Israel

Good news from Haaretz. Not as good as if “South Park” did an episode in Israel. But good enough: “The Simpsons” are going to Israel, and there they will be led by a rude tour guide (voiced by Sacha Baron Cohen) and Homer will fall victim to Jerusalem Syndrome.

“Messiah? Don’t mind if I do!”

Simpsons producer Al Jean told Entertainment Weekly that Baron Cohen will partake in aggressive dialogue with Marge Simpson. “He’s trying to get Marge to give him good grades on the comment card, and she goes, ‘You people are pushy,’ and he goes, ‘What do you mean, you people? You try having Syria for a neighbor! What do you have -Canada?’” Jean said in an interview.

The episode, named “The greatest story ever D’ohed,” is scheduled to coincide with Palm Sunday. “It’ll be a show that all faiths can come together and be offended by,” Jean promised fans of the show.

I sure hope so.

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Kate Gosselin and the nanny

It’s hard to believe that only four months ago Jon and Kate Gosselin were the epitome of evangelical sweethearts, as beloved by the godly as they ostensibly were by each other. It’s been some summer.

Friday on “The View,” Kate responded to the reports that Jon and the nanny had nine sexual liaisons, starting with a “naked soak in the family hot tub.” (Coincidentally, I’m married to a Kate and playing to hit the hot tub after playing basketball tonight. Coincidentally.) More from HuffPo, who seems to be enjoying this as much as the grocery gossip raps:

“I’m not saying it’s true or false,” she said. “All I’m talking about is what my intuition is saying. And bottom line of this background story is I had never met this babysitter and it made me uncomfortable.”

Anybody else feel like vomiting?

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AJC’s campaign against a nuclear Iran

This ad is running on the American Jewish Committee website under the headline “Iran Nuclear Weapons. Not Now. Not Ever.”

“This is a truck. This is what Iran does with a truck.” That’s followed by an image of the Argentinian JCC bombing. Try not to laugh when you see what Iran does with a crane (public hangings). Obviously you don’t want Iran to have the button—if for no greater reason than you can’t imagine the world ending to such a hokey soundtrack.

I don’t either. But there has to be a better way to spread that message.

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J Street should rescind its invitation to Al-Marayati

Is J Street a pro-Israel group? The lobbying organization never tires of claiming it is., Yet what pro-Israel group would invite a man to speak at its forthcoming conference who has called for Israel’s destruction,  stating that “the establishment by force,  violence and terrorism of a Jewish state in Palestine in 1948” was “unjust” and “a crime, ” and vowed to “work to overturn the injustice”?

The man who signed this Sept. 17, 1993 statement by the Muslim Public Affairs Council was its executive director, Salam Al-Marayati, who will be speaking next month at J Street’s Oct. 25-28 conference.

Marayati and MPAC have made numerous other hateful anti-Israel and anti-American statements:

* A few hours after the 9/11 attacks, Marayati said on a radio show in Los Angeles, “We should put the State of Israel on the suspect list” of possible 9/11 perpetrators.

* After a suicide bombing at a Jerusalem pizzeria on Aug. 8, 2001, his organization issued a statement calling the attack “the expected bitter result of the reckless policy of Israeli assassination that did not spare children and political figures.”

* Marayati’s group condemned the U.S. strikes against al-Qaeda in Afghanistan and Sudan following the bombings in 1998 of the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania as “illegal, immoral and illogical.”

* He has likened Israel’s supporters to Hitler.

Marayati also has condemned France’s fining of Roger Garaudy for Holocaust denial as “persecution of his right to express an opinion” and in 1997 gave a chilling, anticipatory justification for anti-American terrorism, saying, “Where Israel goes, our government follows. … What is important is whether the American people are aware of and ready for the consequences.”

Some of these statements caused Marayati’s 1999 appointment to a U.S. congressional committee on terrorism to be rescinded.

J Street’s invitation to Marayati makes one wonder whose side the organization is on.

J Street pressures Israel to make concessions, yet says virtually nothing specifically about the 16-year failure of the Fatah-controlled Palestinian Authority to dismantle terrorist groups. The lobby group also said nothing about Fatah’s recent conference, which proclaimed the legitimacy of terrorism against Israel and honored, by name, killers of Jews as heroes.

Additionally, J Street showed its animus toward Israel by citing polls inaccurately to bolster its claim that Israelis and American Jews want greater Israeli concessions and agree with President Obama’s pressure on Israel to stop Jews building in eastern Jerusalem and Judea and Samaria—the land known as the West Bank.

In June, J Street’s campaign director, Isaac Luria, misleadingly claimed that “Israelis want the president to stand up to the settlers.”

Luria said, “A poll recently showed that 52 percent of Israelis want a freeze on settlement construction and 56 percent want Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu to agree to President Obama’s call for an end to settlement construction.”

In fact, the Dahaf Institute poll to which Luria referred actually showed that Israelis favor continued natural growth of Jewish communities by 54 percent to 42 percent, and that they believe that Obama’s policies are not good for Israel by a margin of 53 percent to 26 percent.

J Street simply buried the evidence of actual support for natural growth and cited only a contradictory general finding of support for a construction freeze. More damning still, the only other partial truth in J Street’s claim—that 56 percent of respondents said they wanted Netanyahu to agree to Obama’s demands—left out the major point that they favored this only if the alternative meant U.S. sanctions.

J Street misrepresents polling data and ignores other polls that show majority Israeli and American Jewish opposition to Obama’s demands. For instance, a recent Smith Research Institute poll shows that Israelis, by a decisive 69 percent to 27 percent margin, oppose freezing construction within large Jewish communities in Judea and Samaria and that only 4 percent of Israelis favor Obama’s policies.

Additionally, a July Global Marketing Services poll of American Jews who are Democrats shows 55 percent believe that Obama is naive in thinking Palestinians want peace. Only 27 percent supported Obama’s promoting of a Palestinian state and 52 percent said Israel should be allowed to build in existing settlements.

While the poll also showed that 58 percent of Jewish Democrats believe Obama is “doing a good job promoting peace in the Middle East,” the question isn’t specific to Israel and may include Obama’s policies on Iraq, Iran, Egypt, etc. The poll also showed 55 percent of respondents believe Obama is not “too tough on Israel”—but they disagree with Obama’s specific policies on Israel, as other answers in the poll indicate.

Most disturbing, despite strong support by most Israeli and American Jews for Israel’s campaign last January to stop Hamas’ rockets from Gaza, J Street opposed the operation. It even has challenged the adoption of more robust sanctions against Iran right now.

All these issues have enhanced relevance in view of the fact that J Street receives tens of thousands of dollars in donations from dozens of Arab and Muslim Americans, according to the Federal Election Commission filings cited by the Jerusalem Post, as well as money from individuals connected to Palestinian and pro-Iranian advocacy groups.

J Street continues to relentlessly display its support for the Palestinian cause. We urge the group to start doing the right thing by rescinding its invitation to Salam Al-Marayati and ceasing to accept donations from those hostile to Israel.

Morton Klein is the president of the Zionist Organization of America.

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U.S. Jews, Muslims must look forward, not back

LOS ANGELES (JTA)—In the 25 years I have served as a leader in the Muslim American community, I have watched and sometimes participated as the pro-Israel and pro-Palestinian camps have put all their energy into trying to convert each other to their own ways of thinking—ideologically, not theologically.

The conclusion I have reached is that agreement cannot and should not be a pre-condition for engagement. As Muslims, Jews and Christians who believe in peacemaking as a social and religious responsibility, we must be the drivers of change at the grass-roots level.

I agreed recently to speak at next month’s first-ever J Street conference, which is titled “Driving Change, Securing Peace.” This is a historic occasion on many fronts.

The Muslim Public Affairs Council and J Street both engage progressive thinkers and activists in our respective communities to address tough issues, work on Middle East peace as a priority issue, and strive to develop mutual respect between Muslims and Jews. For the first time in American history, American Jews and American Muslims who don’t agree on the narrative of the Middle East conflict are working together to determine their future—not just in the Middle East, but in America.

I am an American Muslim who believes that Islam plays a critical role in shaping the minds and hearts of more than 1 billion Muslims to serve the divine value of justice. I believe in one God, one human family and one set of core values that can improve all lives. Those values are mercy, justice, peace, human dignity, freedom and equality for all.

MPAC is committed to working with members of the U.S. Congress and government agencies to formulate effective policies to counteract terrorism and extremism. I am proud of our two-decade record of contributions to policymaking, interfaith dialogue, Muslim integration and civic participation. I’m also proud that we’ve played a part in helping Muslim Americans embrace the idea that being American and Muslim go hand in hand.

The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is a key issue of U.S.-Muslim world relations. My position on the conflict—and that of MPAC—centers on the two-state solution whereby Israel and Palestine exist side by side with security and opportunity. I believe also that the injustices that the Palestinian people have endured for more than 60 years as a result of the ongoing occupation must be addressed and rectified through negotiation, not violence. Middle East wars have not resolved anything in the 20th century or in the first decade of this century.

This is why a conference like the one J Street is planning is so crucial. As leaders of diverse and divergent communities, we have a responsibility to meet, discuss the issues and share our multiple perspectives. This exchange will only enrich the national conversation around the prospects for a durable solution to the conflict.

If I’ve learned anything in 25 years, it’s that working across differences is not easy, and certainly not popular. So it’s no wonder that naysayers will question and attack those who are attempting something new and different. I’ve experienced this myself more times than I can count.

When I was nominated to serve on the U.S. National Commission on Terrorism in 1999 by then-House Minority Leader Richard Gephardt, attacks and outright lies began cropping up almost immediately.

Because I stated that we needed to look at the root causes of terrorism, I was accused of supporting terrorism. Yet in 2001, President George W. Bush made exactly the same assertion, which led to the creation of U.S.-sponsored initiatives for democratic reform in Muslim countries and a robust public diplomatic effort led by then-Undersecretary of State Karen Hughes.

Because of my public criticisms of Israeli government policies related to the occupation, I also was labeled as anti-Semitic. When Ambassador Daniel Kurtzer, an Orthodox Jew, and Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton criticized the occupation, they were labeled anti-Israel.

The biggest weapon of the detractors? On 9/11, just hours after the horrific terrorist attacks, I was interviewed on a local radio show in Los Angeles right after a guest “expert” stated that Islam was the prime suspect. In reacting to that awful stereotype, I made a mistake. I said that if we were going to look for suspects, then we should also put Israel on the list.

It was wrong and I apologized for it on the same radio show the very next day, as well as directly to Jewish leaders. It is a shame that people today continue to exploit that mistake and do not want to accept my apology.

What detractors of the peace process want to do is their business, but the future belongs to those who want to engender hope for America, especially for the crucial role it can play in the Middle East. What the J Street conference represents is a defining moment.

I aim to follow the following Koranic verse in dealing with hostilities, both here and abroad: “Good and evil are not equal. So repel evil with good and the one with whom you have enmity will become a close friend.”

Far too often we find ourselves in the position of calling for cease-fires in the Middle East. It’s high time we call for one now, in the United States, so that we can move on with the important business of working together to explore possibilities that can secure our shared future.

(Salam Al-Marayati is the co-founder and executive director of the Muslim Public Affairs Council.)

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MacArthur Jews

The MacArthur Foundations released its list of recipients of this year’s MacArthur Grants, popularly known as the “genius grants.”

The Foundation awards its 24 recipients $500,000 over 5 years in unrestricted funds to continue his or her work. Typically, as The Times wrote:

With her fifth book of stories, Ms. Eisenberg has achieved the kind of grand attention usually given to novelists. The New York Times Book Review pronounced her “one of the most important fiction writers now at work” and praised her stories as “machines of perfect revelation deftly constructed by a contemporary master.”

The characters in Ms. Eisenberg’s stories are full of hidden sorrows and anxieties. She approaches them obliquely, circles around, then comes in for the kill. Their emotions rise inexorably to the surface, bubbles on molten lava.

Beth Shapiro, 33, an evolutionary biologist at Pennsylvania State University. Per Wikipedia:

Beth Shapiro is an evolutionary molecular biologist in the department of biology at the Pennsylvania State University. She was formerly a researcher in the department of zoology at Oxford University.

Shapiro is notable for a number of publications in ecology in journals including Science, and has carried out mitochondrial DNA analysis of the dodo.

She was born in the United States and grew up in Rome, Georgia, where she served as the local news anchor while still in high school. She was awarded a Rhodes Scholarship in 1999.[1]

In 2007, she was named by Smithsonian Magazine as one of 37 young American innovators under the age of 36. [2]

Elyn Saks, 53, a law professor at the University of Southern California, has written of her own mental illness and fights for the rights of the mentally ill. Of her book, “The Center Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness” , Publishers Weekly wrote: 

“In this engrossing memoir, Saks, a professor of law and psychiatry at the University of Southern California, demonstrates a novelist’s skill of creating character, dialogue and suspense. From her extraordinary perspective as both expert and sufferer (diagnosis: Chronic paranoid schizophrenia with acute exacerbation; prognosis: Grave), Saks carries the reader from the early little quirks to the full blown falling apart, flying apart, exploding psychosis. Schizophrenia rolls in like a slow fog, as Saks shows, becoming imperceptibly thicker as time goes on.- Along the way to stability (treatment, not cure), Saks is treated with a pharmacopeia of drugs and by a chorus of therapists. In her jargon-free style, she describes the workings of the drugs (getting med-free, a constant motif) and the ideas of the therapists and physicians (psychologist, psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, cardiologist, endocrinologist). Her personal experience of a world in which she is both frightened and frightening is graphically drawn and leads directly to her advocacy of mental patients’ civil rights as they confront compulsory medication, civil commitment, the abuse of restraints and the absurdities of the mental care system. She is a strong proponent of talk therapy (While medication had kept me alive, it had been psychoanalysis that helped me find a life worth living). This is heavy reading, but Saks’s account will certainly stand out in its field.”

 

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Out Of Control – Rabbi Barry Gelman

This past year has been a very frustrating, scary one for many people. The economic crisis has left many people feeling helpless and out of control. Not only in the realm of the economic crisis, but in many other areas of life, we may feel that we are not in control.

There are some who have put much effort in to raising their children to follow a certain path, yet they choose a different, often a heartbreaking path. As a result, we feel helpless, out of control.In our relationships, especially our marriages, many feel that there is no time to work on a marriage under stress and that our marriages are just sort of limping along.

I spent time talking to my congregation on Rosh Hashana about feeling out of control and at least one spiritually and religiously positive aspect of this feeling. I am happy to share it with you.

Events in life that humble us altogether bad. They supply a needed corrective for a sense of arrogance that leads us to believe that everything is in our control and that we can correct any problem if we only wanted to.

This shocking awareness of our limitations and our helplessness is part of the spirit that Rosh Hashanah seeks to instill in us. On this day do we say: ve’yeda kol pa’ul ki attah pe’alto ve’yavin kol yetzur ki attah yetzarto, “May every existing being know that Thou hast made it; may every creature realize that Thou hast created it.” Spirituality consists in the acknowledgment that we are pa’ul not only Po’el; that we are the objects of events, and not the subjects who determine them. Theologians have called that “Kreatursgefuhl”, the awareness of our creatureliness, of our severe limitations in the face of God and the world. And it is true that we are limited in what we can do — sometimes tragically so. (I gleaned this insight from a Drasha given by Rabbi Normal Lamm)

This idea is the essence of petitional prayer. When we ask God for things it is an admission o need and a call for help.

So the recent crisis, and the unsettled areas of our life, may have a positive impact on our souls as they compel us to realize that we are not all powerful and that there are forces greater than us.

In ancient times, when humanity was ravaged by weather, and disease, humility was in abundance. People felt humbled in the face of those great forces. In our time and society when we able to protect ourselves from weather and fight disease we no longer feel that sense power nor the humility that comes with it.

Perhaps the economy, we are now realizing, is also a powerful force, not always in our control. Not all aspects of human relationships are in our control either. Perhaps our current feelings of helplessness will help us regain our sense of humility.

I think this idea specifically relates to the morethodox as we pride ourselves on our modern sense of self sufficiency and being in control. We consider ourselves part of society that has accomplished so much that we may, at time, loose perspective on what we really can control and who really is in control. While we should not trade away our intense involvement in the world of science, medicine and technology nd business,we should be aware that our successes in those areas come with potentially dangerous spiritual side affects.

We should embrace the lesson of humility that difficulty and distress bring. Humility is a good thing even if it is born from negative experiences.

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California attorney general to sue Stanley Chais

Stanley Chais can’t catch a break.

California Attorney General Jerry Brown will hold a press conference downtown in about 75 minutes to announce that he’s suing the former Beverly Hills investment guru for directing “hundreds of millions of dollars in clients’ investments to Bernard Madoff, while actively concealing the link between the two.”

Brown jumped the gun last night, writing at the Huffington Post:

For his so-called expertise, Chais charged his clients a whopping 25 percent of their annual profits—pocketing some $270 million over the decades—and he was careful to conceal his connection with Madoff. So when Madoff’s empire collapsed late last year, Chais’s clients were shocked to find that their life savings had vanished virtually overnight.

When this information came to light, investigators from the California attorney general’s office jumped in immediately. Seven months later, we are now able to file legal action in Los Angeles Superior Court against Chais for securities fraud, unfair business practices and making misleading statements. The suit seeks an injunction, restitution for victims, disgorgement of profits and at least $25 million in civil penalties.

Sadly, the rise of super-sized swindlers like Madoff and Chais was inevitable given the mindless deregulation-mania of the last decade—abetted and made possible by a complicit Congress, SEC, and inattentive White House.

There were clear warning signs. Chais had only three months of negative returns between 1996 and 2007. Madoff’s balance sheet did not reflect the normal fluctuations of the market, nor did he report a loss on a single trade made on behalf of the Chais funds between 1999 and 2008.

But regulators and federal officials were lulled to sleep by a pervasive ideology that private vice on Wall Street would always be transmogrified into public virtue. America is paying the price for this noxious doctrine in unprecedented job losses and an avalanche of foreclosures.

Let’s not wait for the next Chais or Madoff to be exposed.

Read the rest here.

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Blast Your Breakfast

My son loves pancakes.  Who doesn’t?  Anything with “cake” in the name has to be good, right?  But making them, that’s another story.  Whether you are making one or fifty, you still need a bowl, a measuring cup, a spoon or whisk, a ladle, a frying pan and a million paper towels to wipe off the entire counter and stove top from the batter you have splashed in an attempt at flipping the damn things.  (Ok, maybe it’s just me.)

So you can imagine how excited I am when I discover new “instant” pancake mixes.  (I don’t get out much, can you tell?)  Instant is not always so instant, of course.  The instant mixes usually require adding eggs, oil and water.  How is that saving me time, when I have to hunt down the extra ingredients and make sure my fridge is always stocked with eggs?  (Ok, got the water part down, but running to the market for eggs if you’re out, defeats the whole “instant” notion.)

So, leave it to Israel to come up with an “add water” version.  Wow, like those little plastic pegs you drop into water and miraculously turn into dinosaurs or giraffes or pancakes?  Well, not quite that simple, but simple enough.

It’s Kahan’s Instant Pancake Mix.  You just add water and stir, but still have to ladle the right amount of mix, of course, fry and flip.  Now, I know that I can have pancakes ready any time.  Tap water is always on hand and best for us…or so we are told.  No plastic bottles to recycle.  See, so you are even helping the environment. 

Just when I thought I couldn’t be more excited about pancake mix, I happened to stumble upon an even greater invention (now keeping Kahan’s on hand for pancake emergencies).  I discovered Organic Batter Blaster (OU Pareve) at Whole Foods.  I know what you’re thinking, the name doesn’t make it sound so appealing, but it makes for a catchy jingle: “Make better breakfast faster…Batter Blaster.”  (I didn’t make that up…see for yourself @ batterblaster.com and make sure the sound is turned up on your computer when the site loads.)

What’s so great about this one, you ask (besides the jingle)?  I’ll tell you.  There is no need for any additional ingredient or dishes, just a frying pan (flipping still required, though).  Batter Blaster is convenient in a whipped cream-like spray, where you simply squeeze out the mix onto a greased frying pan.  (Sounds appetizing?)  Figuring out the right amount or shape to squeeze out is a little tricky, though, so the first or second, third or fifteenth pancake won’t be perfect, but walla…eventually you’ll get the hang of it, and create instant spray pancakes. (Just don’t confuse the whip cream with the pancake mix or things could get messy as you top off your ready cakes)

Now, my son enjoys pancakes for breakfast, lunch and dinner…poor guy, until they create instant mac and cheese in a spray can, of course.  I will keep you posted when I hear of anything.

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This is no George Bush summit

U.S. President Barack Obama stood behind a podium in New York City on Tuesday like a strict schoolteacher scolding the two pupils sitting before him – Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas – as well as their ministers.

Obama explained that the resolution of the Middle East conflict is in the U.S.‘s interest and that a permanent solution is a priority for the entire world. The American president compensated for having failed to immediately revive peace talks with stern remarks directed at both sides: forget history, obstacles and disagreements – sit down and get done with it.

Two major differences were apparent Tuesday between Obama’s summit and those hosted by his predecessor, George W. Bush (in Aqaba in 2003 and in Annapolis in 2007). The Bush administration put an emphasis on synchronizing statements and agreements between the two sides. As soon as the summits were over, the Israelis and Palestinians were sent on their way to hold talks on their own – with American supervisors.

However, Obama does it differently. He read his statement as a command directed at the two sides, and not as a joint statement. The president is planning to lead active American mediation efforts, spearheaded by his Middle East envoy George Mitchell. The envoy’s first task will be relaunching the peace talks.

In his statement, Obama explained that the Americans are not interested in suggestions raised by Israel – interim agreements which mainly benefit Netanyahu. He also made clear that Washington does not accept Abbas’ refusal to enter into talks until Israel completely halts settlement construction. The President is satisfied with Netanyahu’s (so far privately made) promises to limit construction, and places the resumption of peace talks at the top of his priority list.

For original verison of this story visit Haaretz here

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