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November 29, 1999

New Vistas

"The New Geography: How the Digital Revolution Is Reshaping the American Landscape," by Joel Kotkin. (Random House, $22.95)

Joel Kotkin, a senior fellow at both Pepperdine University Institute for Public Policy and Milken Institute and a research fellow at the libertarian Reason Public Policy Institute, for 20 years has been researching and writing about what he terms "intangible" inputs into economic life.

His previous book, "Tribes: How Race, Religion and Identity Determine Success in the New Global Economy," studied cultural factors that, for example, gave Jews and expatriate Chinese communities tools for their historical economic successes.

Likewise, he argued that Southeast Asians and Koreans, among others, benefit from a variety of culturally based strategies that enable them to negotiate the shoals of a fast-paced, chaotic and demanding business environment.

In "The New Geography," Kotkin, an occasional Journal contributor, brings a similar analytic approach to the impact of the digitized economy on our physical environments. Forgoing jargon, except for the symbolic language he creates to explain some of the more overt effects of the great economic transition we have witnessed in the past 10 years or so, Kotkin writes an extremely accessible book that explores the choices and consequences of where and how we choose to live and work.

Three homemade neologisms act as his introduction to our new geography: valhalla, nerdistan and midopolis. The cutesy names belie a serious argument: that each of the three types of places, representing different tracks and classes in the new e-economy, express the different interests and capacities of their inhabitants.

One of the historic privileges of great wealth was to gain physical distance from the masses. That distance historically was constrained by practical necessity: the need to oversee in person one’s business interests, the limitations of communication, the time needed for one to travel, and one’s own need to have goods and services in somewhat close proximity. As both communication and travel have become faster, more efficient and increasingly inexpensive, the entrepreneurs of the new e-economy can locate themselves far away.

Vail in Colorado, Park City in Utah, and any number of other places are these valhallas. The locations play no part in the economic lives of their new residents, however, and the flow of wealth into such areas often leads to a serious disruption in the lives of others who live and work there. "They may be breathtakingly beautiful as places, but they are no longer rustic in the nature of their economy or, increasingly, in their population," writes Kotkin. "As Ed Marston, editor of the Rocky Mountain News, suggests, ‘What is Montana without cowboys? Once you get rid of agriculture, you’re left with nothingness. You’re not using the land. It just becomes ‘looking country.’"

Not everyone can be a wildly successful entrepreneur, and the management and technological sectors of the new economy need their physical places also. One group gravitates toward Kotkin’s so-called nerdistans: these master-planned communities feature "a more ‘campus-like’ environment, often with landscaped walkways and access to bikeways and other recreations." These are idealized communities for raising families; refurbished suburban dreams catering to the concerns of scientists, engineers and technocrats in the e-economy.

Parallel to that are the urban pioneers, the artists, artisans and generally creative types who flock into Kotkin’s "artful city," working in a more informal manner, seeking the inspiration and excitement of a revitalized urban life.

True to his long roots in Southern California, Kotkin uses local geography to illustrate his point. Irvine is a nerdistan; Santa Monica, the hip, urban "artful city."

Often those in the latter are the childless, gay, empty-nesters, divorced or never-married. In some ways, one can imagine the Getty Center as a nerdistan/artful city monument. Its design is certainly campus-like; its contents, well, arty.

The midopolises are more problematic. Typically, as the suburbs recycle and grow denser and grittier, they devolve into slums. But the great influx of immigrants, with their verve, determination, hard work and overall economic and social energy, help resist the natural history of the housing stock. As soon as they can afford it, they settle away from the inner city and into the suburban landscape, where they reshape traditional suburbia in surprising ways.

The San Gabriel Valley is in sections overwhelmingly Asian, with an elaborate and sophisticated Asian cultural and economic infrastructure, while previously "lily-white" suburbs have often become predominantly Latino. Both populations are driven to thrive in an economically beneficent environment relative to their respective homelands.

Nonetheless, the midopolises as often as not rely on the old economic mode — light manufacturing, retailing, import-export firms — rather than the new one, which has the potential of seriously limiting these groups’ progress up the economic ladder.

Kotkin points to a potential real-estate crisis. As retail sales move more to the Internet, the vast retailing physical structure will be threatened. For massive big-box stores, a 6 percent loss in sales to the Internet could translate into a 50 percent loss in profitability. Just as traditional downtown shopping areas died in the wake of regional malls, so too regional malls can suffer seriously over the long run when exposed to e-commerce.

As he explores the implications of the class stratification growing out of the digital revolution, Kotkin uses a wide range of historic analogies: Rome, Greece, Venice, Amsterdam, London. In doing so, he traces the arc of urban life, examining the relevance to our situation of the growth of artisans, the rise of factories, the inevitable development of conflict along class lines in highly stratified cities. He fears that those conflicts could grow here: the educated, online, plugged-in will so far economically surpass the under-educated and off-line that the valhallas and nerdistans will become in all essentials separated from the midopolises and city centers.

His hope is that we realize we live not only in virtual reality, but in a physical reality of place; that the intersection of real, lived human lives determines both economic and community success. "The oldest fundamentals of place — sense of community, identity, history and faith — not only remain important, they are increasingly the critical determinants of success and failure," he maintains. As always, Kotkin remains both open-eyed and optimistic.

New Vistas Read More »

Even Bullies Go to Summer Camp

Directors at three of California’s Jewish sleep-over camps describe them as nurturing environments where every child is made to feel safe and part of a caring community. Campers, they say, generally meet the high expectations for mensch-like behavior.

But despite everyone’s best intentions, camps occasionally see aggressive or exclusionary behavior, and each camp has a policy to firmly and fairly discourage bullying.

“Our mission is to create a community of living Judaism within a holistic vision of physical, spiritual and emotional safety for all,” said Ruben Arquilevich, executive director of the Union of American Hebrew Congregations’ (UAHC) Institutes for Living Judaism, which runs Camp Swig in Saratoga and Camp Newman in Santa Rosa.

“Our culture fosters shalom bayit [peace in the home],” he added. However, Arquilevich as well as directors of Camp Tawonga near Yosemite National Park and Camp Ramah in Ojai said they are prepared to deal with unacceptable behavior, too. “We acknowledge that certain behaviors appear in a group setting, and there are always a handful of cases every summer,” Arquilevich said.

“Although we don’t believe in the concept of a ‘camp bully,’ at some time we all exhibit bullying behavior. We see it as an opportunity at camp to identify, respond and give the bully and the other kids a lesson in how to be the best person they can be, a life lesson in conflict management that they can take home.”

Ken Kramarz, executive director of Camp Tawonga, described his camp as “a place of peace.”

Tawonga is a group-centered camp, where each cabin has its own identity and strong group ethic. Kramarz said each cabin has a personalized set of “10 commandments” and a cabin schedule that accommodates every camper’s individual needs.

“The entire culture is about getting along. The counselors are with the kids continuously and focused on the children’s interacting with each other,” Kramarz said.

Nevertheless, “the children bring with them the templates of behavior extrinsic to the camp environment,” he said, and in the rare case where a child becomes disruptive or mean, the director will sit with him or her and create a personalized written behavior contract. The parents will be notified that the child is “on contract” and may be sent home.

“But the kids really want to be here, and when the consequence is that they are not going to be here, the behavior is likely to improve,” Kramarz said.

Camp directors say expectations run high that campers will treat each other with respect, cooperation and inclusion.

Before youngsters head off to camp, parents receive handbooks that outline the rules of appropriate camper behavior. “The parents are asked in advance to engage their children in a conversation about the tone and culture the camp strives for, and they sign off that they will contribute to the environment in a positive way,” Arquilevich said.

He said that inappropriate behavior might first be noticed by a counselor or might be reported to a counselor by a camper. The counselors are trained to facilitate the kids working out the issue among themselves within their own cabin group.

“We are careful in judging and getting the broad story. The kid in the most pain is the one exhibiting the inappropriate behavior,” Arquilevich said, adding that the first step might be to ask what precipitated the behavior, followed by encouraging the cabin group to talk about it. Once they understand each other, they can work toward something positive.

In the rare case where hurtful behavior continues or even escalates, consequences ensue. Parents might be notified, and an agreement of understanding might be written up. If such a behavior contract is broken, the child could be dismissed from the group or the camp; however, such serious measures are necessary only about once every two years, Arquilevich said.

Brian Greene, executive director of Camp Ramah, said his counselors are taught to watch for inappropriately aggressive children and channel the aggression in a positive direction.

“What we really want to do is get to the bully and find out what’s behind the lack of self esteem. The child wants to feel powerful and important, but can fulfill that need in better ways than pushing other kids around,” Greene said. “We won’t let anyone ruin anyone else’s time and won’t tolerate a child hurting another child.”

Greene added that he believes bullying is a bigger problem at schools than at summer camps.

“When camp is at its best, a united feeling takes over and becomes dominant. Everybody counts.”

Even Bullies Go to Summer Camp Read More »

From Krakow to Pico

When Pavel Vogler left Krakow for Southern California in 1992, he brought almost 100 of his favorite paintings. The darkly shaded oil works in blue, black and purple show Vogler’s vision of his hometown and its medieval Jewish quarter, Kazimierz, filled with empty synagogues. Moonlight, twilight and the glow of streetlamps illuminate Vogler’s Polish works, where ghosts of a Jewish history haunt cobblestone streets.

Vogler’s first solo exhibit in the United States, now on view at A Shenere Velt Gallery, displays a range of the artist’s styles and settings. In “Past and Present from Poland to Pico: Memories and Paintings,” Vogler displays four series of work, created in Poland and his new home in West Covina. The paintings include “Shadows,” the last painting Vogler completed in Krakow, and “The Sign” (left) a brightly colored, swirling print of a man holding a Torah, the first of Vogler’s California works and a striking contrast to the dark Polish images.

The breadth of the artist’s talent is evident in the series titled “Family and Friends,” six portraits ranging from the agitated study in motion of “My Father” to the serene “La Paloma.” Unlike much of his work, many of the portrait subjects are not Jewish. “I just love working with people,” Vogler says.

Though the 38-year-old Vogler has exhibited his paintings widely in Europe, he is best known in America for his film work. Vogler’s films include “Three Stories,” based on the life of his father, Henryk, a well-known Polish author who was among the few Jews to return to Krakow after years in WWII concentration camps. Vogler is currently developing another film, “Moloch,” based on one of his father’s novels.

The artist hopes that this exhibit will lead to an opportunity for large-scale projects. “I’d love to do a series on Los Angeles,” he says, “a whole exhibition on how Jewish cultures are crisscrossing and thriving here.”

Through Aug. 31. A Shenere Velt Gallery, 1525 Robertson Blvd., Los Angeles. For more information, call (310) 552-2007 or visit www.fluxfire.com/pv.n

From Krakow to Pico Read More »

Rosh HaShana Sites (5762 – 2001)

Selected Rosh HaShana Sites (5762 – 2001)

Aish HaTorah – High Holidays Ohr Somayach: Rosh Hashanah OU Presents Rosh HaShanah Torah Tots: Fun & Games Chabad: The Jewish New Year Project Genesis: Elul & Rosh HaShana Card 4 Israel (Biggest Rosh HaShana Card) The Time is Today (about Life) My Hebrew Dictionary – Rosh Hashana Related Words Akhlah: Children’s Learning Network (includes the blessings) The J Site: Rosh Hashana Coloring Pages and Hebrew Songs Jewish Heritage Magazine: Rosh HaShanah 613.org – Jewish Torah Audio (real audio) Virtual Jerusalem: Rosh Hashana Everything Jewish: Rosh HaShanna – The Jewish New Year Uncle Eli’s Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur Prayer Book Beith David Presents the Yam’im Nora’im Rosh HaShanah @ JTS < Jewish Community Online: Rosh Hashanah Judaism 101: Rosh HaShana WZO: Holidays with a twist JA Pedagogic Center: Tishrei Festivals Holidays.Net: High Holidays on the Net Celebrate with JOI: Rosh Hashanah Torah From Dixie: Rosh Hashana Articles NCSY: Rosh Hashana Articles Virtual Beit Midrash: Rosh HaShana Journal (2000) Virtual Jewish World: Rosh Hashanah Jewish Magnes Museum: Sounding the Shofar Rosh Hashonoh Gateway Misrash Ben Ish Hai (Sepharadim customs) Jewish Studies: High Holiday Handbook

Hebrew Sites

Galim: Rosh Hashana Short Hebrew Essays on Rosh Hashana Bar-Ilan Essays on Rosh Hashana Daat: Rosh Hashana Torah Articles Maale: Rosh Hashana Articles Torah Outreach Program: Rosh Hashana

Recipes

RFCJ Jewish Recipe Archives – Rosh Hashana Jewish-Food High Holidays Archive

Rosh HaShana Sites (5762 – 2001) Read More »

New Year, New Changes

Last week I was driving to a family celebration at Leisure World in Laguna Hills when I noticed something very odd about the weather: Fall was in the air.

It’s a subtle thing in Southern California, but those of us who have lived here long enough recognize the slight change in temperature, the almost imperceptible newness in the air.

For us it also means summer camps and summer trips give way to the High Holidays — Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. And this new year brings new developments here at The Journal.

One should be obvious by now: We’ve changed formats, and changed titles. Last month, The Jewish Journal of Orange County became Jewish Family of Orange County. We’ve changed size, shape and paper. But more importantly, the stories reflect the lives so many of us live — working to bring Jewish values and practice into our homes and communities.

A Jewish publication is a place where all the diverse expressions of Jewish life can find common ground on a regular basis, and we look forward to continuing to provide the kind of award-winning, thoughtful coverage we have in the past.

Of course, this is a community publication, which means we need you to be a part of it. Please send us ideas, suggestions, stories, complaints. Please read us and help us grow.

It’s a New Year, but it wouldn’t be as sweet without you.

Shana tova u’metuka from all of us at Jewish Family of Orange County.

New Year, New Changes Read More »

Community Braces for Flu Shot Scarcity

 

Michael Gabai is on a quest.

The owner and administrator of Ayres Residential Care Home has spent the last two weeks calling physicians, senior centers, grocery stores and pharmacies in search of flu shots for about half of the 18 residents in his facilities who have been unable to get one. Gabai was finally able to secure a reservation for his oldest resident, a 96-year-old, to get vaccinated at a grocery store about 10 miles away.

“We’re scrambling to get it done, Gabai said. “We know how easily [flu] can turn into pneumonia for our elderly clients.”

With the flu vaccine shortage becoming a national — and political — crisis, people working with seniors, like Gabai, are the most troubled.

“Flu is always a concern,” said Molly Forrest, director of the Los Angeles Jewish Home for the Aging (JHA). Vaccinations are normally given to all of JHA’s residents and frontline caregivers willing to be inoculated, she said. However, JHA has not yet received its supply of vaccines from the Los Angeles County Department of Health Services, which has promised to deliver them late this month or early in November. Flu season generally spans from November to March, and affects between 10 percent to 20 percent of Americans.

During the 2003-2004 flu season, there were 1,600 deaths from influenza and pneumonia in Los Angeles County, according to the Center for Disease Control. Also, over the last five years, nearly 90 percent of all deaths from flu andpneumonia were among those 65 or older.

Forrest believes they will get adequate amounts of vaccine to cover the residents, but thinks they might need to seek additional doses for frontline staff.

During her nine-year tenure, Forrest said that JHA had not experienced any serious flu outbreaks. When cases have arisen, they have isolated individual buildings or patients in order to contain the spread of the disease.

Jewish Family Service’s (JFS) Valley Storefront and West Hollywood Senior Center had to cancel scheduled flu shot clinics when the Red Cross failed to deliver vaccines as promised, said Lisa Brooks, one of the agency’s directors.

“We’re waiting to see if more supplies become available,” she said. Directors of JFS’s senior centers are in close contact with sources of the vaccine to find out when that might be.

Additional flu shots might soon be forthcoming from drug manufacturer Aventis Pasteur. The majority of its 22.4 million doses, which were promised but not yet shipped to customers, will be routed to entities designated by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) as priorities. In addition to seniors, those considered most at-risk of developing potentially life-threatening complications from the flu include children under 2 years old (the vaccine is not recommended for babies younger than 6 months old), individuals with chronic medical conditions and pregnant women. According to United Press International, CDC Director Dr. Julie Gerberding said the agency is mapping areas where the vaccine has been sent and those where it is needed and also tracking flu cases by county to quickly identify flu hot spots.

The flu shot shortage does not seem to trouble early childhood educators.

“I don’t think at this time anyone is particularly panicking,” said Betty Zeisl, director of public relations and communications for the Bureau of Jewish Education (BJE), who noted that at a meeting of early childhood center directors last week “the subject didn’t come up.” (While BJE facilities must conform to federal, state and local guidelines, protocols for dealing with illness are determined by each individual center.)

“I don’t think [the shortage] is going to affect us,” said Angie Bass, director of the early childhood center at Temple Beth Am, who believes that sensationalized media reports are needlessly scaring parents. Bass said that the school maintains routine health precautions such as undergoing regular cleaning, a hand-washing policy for staff and students and a practice of sending children home if they need to wipe their noses more than three times in a 15-minute period.

Bass said that “if it really looked like a real epidemic and not just media hype,” she would send home a letter informing parents and include advice from pediatricians. Thus far, however, none of the pediatricians she has consulted have expressed concern.

“As soon as the pediatricians are worried, then I’ll worry,” she said.

“I think it is a potential problem,” said Dr. Carol Berkowitz, professor of clinical pediatrics at Harbor-UCLA Medical Center in Torrance and president of the American Academy of Pediatrics. “We never know how serious a flu season we will have.”

At the same time, she said that last year was the first year that vaccination was suggested for healthy children between 6 and 24 months.

“Flu vaccine has never been recommended for healthy children over the age of 2 years,” she added.

Berkowitz and others emphasize the importance of following CDC recommendations to help prevent flu. These include avoiding close contact with people who are sick, staying home from work or school if you are sick, covering your mouth and nose with a tissue when coughing or sneezing, avoiding touching your eyes, nose or mouth and washing your hands frequently. Certain prescription antiviral medications (oseltamivir, rimantadine and amantadine) can either prevent the flu or lessen its symptoms if taken promptly after exposure to the virus — or soon after symptoms begin. Symptoms may include fever, headache, chills, body aches, dry cough, stuffy nose and sore throat.

Unfortunately, even if individuals take precautions, they cannot control the habits of others. As the JHA’s Forrest notes, this is especially true for the most vulnerable populations.

“The very young and very old, who get help from other people, are incredibly at risk because they depend on someone else’s hygiene,” she said.

 

Community Braces for Flu Shot Scarcity Read More »

Yeladim

 

It sure seems like winter came a little early this year – but the first official day of winter will be Dec 21. On that day, the shortest day of the year, our part of the Earth is tilted its farthest from the sun. The longest day of the year is June 21.

 

In Vayigash, Jacob’s family moves to Egypt to be with Joseph, who has become the grand vizier. All four of Jacob’s wives are named – and who there sons are. Match up the sons with the mothers by putting them in the correct column.

You’ll get a big prize if you can do this one!

 

Yeladim Read More »

Disaster Relief

 

The catastrophic earthquake and tsunami is south Asia resulted in worldwide shock and then an outpouring of aid. It wasn�(tm)t difficult to write a check, nor was it difficult to find relief agencies eager to accept donations.

Money poured in, in some cases overwhelming the beneficiaries. Doctors Without Borders announced two weeks after the tsunami that it had received all the money it could use for tsunami relief and urged donors to contribute undesignated funds to general disaster assistance. The Red Cross, although still accepting money for tsunami relief, has also set a cap for those donations.

Following the similarly catastrophic tragedy of the Sept. 11 attacks, the “September 11th Fund” was quickly founded and also quickly inundated with donations. Four months after the event, in January 2002, the fund announced that it had received all it needed to accomplish its goals (more than $500 million) and encouraged future donors to give to other charities.

Our generous response to those horrifying tragedies illustrates how quickly our hearts and wallets can be opened, but it also brings into question our charitable goals when equally great – or greater – needs exist. Giving in response to catastrophe is compassionate and morally sound. But the total ethics of our charitable giving needs examination when transient, spectacular tragedies are overfunded while ongoing and endemic tragedies are often ignored.

The sudden devastation of catastrophe demands an equally quick response. Unlike poverty or hunger, we could respond to the tsunami now – but not years from now. Because the number of people affected was large, we responded generously. But because the number was small, relative to other tragedies, and limited (the tsunami would not strike again) we felt confidant that our donations would actually make a difference.

Because tragedies like war and disease are so pervasive and intractable we despair at their solution. We cope with their presence by becoming numb. Our compassion is stirred, our hearts break, but our emotional numbness prevents action. We sew up our wounded hearts and move on.

As my friends and I wrote our tsunami checks in the last few weeks, many of us expressed the concern that our donations actually reach the people in need. But what most of us didn�(tm)t pause to consider is why we were giving now, to this cause and not at other times to other causes? In the hands of an ethical charity our checks would eventually ease the pain of the tsunami victims. Yet the pain of other sufferers elsewhere in the world was no less great for them having been victims to non-catastrophic tragedies that hadn�(tm)t captured our attention.

What we need is an ethic of charity that motivates us to give to ongoing, endemic needs as much as our natural horror motivates us to give to catastrophic relief.

Biblical examples of giving see charity as automatic and constant: a spiritual act based on gratitude for our own blessings, not prompted by particular needs in the community. Abraham gives one-tenth of the spoils of war (Genesis 14:20), Jacob makes a similar vow (Genesis 28:22) and Leviticus tells us, “A tithe of everything from the land, whether grain from the soil or fruit from the trees, belongs to the Lord” (Leviticus 27:30). Maimonides advises the ethic of giving not in response to need but to prevent need. He writes as the highest step of the golden ladder of giving, “Anticipate charity by preventing poverty” such as by teaching a trade.

Giving in response to catastrophic need will always be a spiritual urge above and beyond our regular charity. Here�(tm)s how I suggest catastrophic need doesn�(tm)t become our only impulse to charity.

• Begin by naming the core values that guide your life. If you can�(tm)t do this, examine the values revealed through your life choices: where do you work, where do you spend your free time, what stories tug your heart, what activities give you the greatest satisfaction?

• Next, name the causes you wish to fight (poverty, hunger, disease, war) or support (education, freedom, human rights). The causes should flow from your values.

• Research organizations working on these causes and select a few as beneficiaries of your charity.

• Create a personal budget by approximating your yearly income and expenses. Challenge yourself to set aside 5 to 10 percent of your income for charity and divide that amount among the organizations you�(tm)ve selected. You might designate a portion of your charitable budget as “catastrophe relief.” If it hasn�(tm)t been used by the end of the year you can write an additional check to your main charity.

When a catastrophe occurs, you can then use your budget to fit your response within a reasoned, values-based, system of giving. Instead of reacting emotionally merely to relieve your own horror you can base your response on questions such as, “Does providing this relief support my values? Will writing this check reduce the amount I give elsewhere and is that OK with me?” Following that internal discussion even a decision not to write a check can be a morally legitimate response.

All giving relieves both the giver and the receiver. Giving should make us feel good and relieving our own emotional suffering is as good a reason to give as any. But healing the world demands more than an emotional response to catastrophes; it demands a generous, considered response to all instances of suffering.

 

Disaster Relief Read More »

Party Out of Bounds

More than 100 guests sat in a sea of round banquet tables in a Studio City hotel, munching on fancy appetizers presented by waiters. A band warmed up. Kids crowded entertainment stations waiting for artists to personalize clothing and paint their faces.

I had been invited to a 1-year-old’s birthday and was about to leave, convinced I’d accidentally entered a bar mitzvah reception. Then I saw David’s mom, parading the sleepy birthday boy around in her arms.

These days, over-the-top children’s birthday parties are not just for the rich and famous. Extravagant shindigs are becoming increasingly common. And while many adults have fond childhood memories of simple celebrations, today’s birthday party expectations have exploded — both for children and their parents. But how much is too much? And is this kind of extravagance harmful to children?

Stacey Parzik, owner of Parties By Stacey, has seen this trend developing since she started her party-planning business 13 years ago.

“When I first started the company, customers either rented a Moonbounce or a hired a clown. Now it’s both things and more,” said the Woodland Hills planner.

When a Westside mother, who asked not to be named, attended an elaborate birthday party in Beverly Hills with her 7-year-old daughter, she was stunned. Several actors dressed as storybook characters mingled with the young guests, while professional stylists worked on the young girls’ hair and makeup as if they were going to a Hollywood premiere. A handful of kids jumped around inside a Moonbounce, while others went through racks of clothes to find the perfect outfit to complement their makeovers and new hairdos.

“It was out of control,” the mother said.

While her daughter clearly enjoyed herself, the mother could tell her child was overwhelmed by it all.

Dana Shrager, a clinical psychotherapist in Century City, warns that such large parties can be intimidating to some children.

“Large crowds and elaborate stimulation can be overwhelming,” she said. “You want your child to enjoy the party.”

“If you expose a 4-, 5- or 6-year-old child to that degree of excess, you create wildly unrealistic expectations for them for the rest of their lives, which is a terribly irresponsible thing for a parent to do,” said Rabbi Steve Leder of Wilshire Boulevard Temple and author of “More Money Than God: Living a Rich Life Without Losing Your Soul” (Bonus Books, 2004).

Leder remembers a time when modesty reigned. Growing up in Minnesota in the ’60s, he said the attitude was to remain slightly behind one’s peers.

“In one generation that ethic has been completely subverted,” he said. “Now the thought is to stay one step ahead of the neighbors.”

Leder partly attributes the problem to Jews marrying later in life, putting them in a better monetary position than the parents of young children just a generation ago. He said the mature parents often worry that their own parents won’t be around for their grandchildren’s weddings or bar mitzvahs, so they sometimes use these dynamics as excuses to overindulge during birthday parties.

“Parents will engage and correct when it comes to racist and sexist issues, but materialism is a different story,” Leder said. “Gross materialism is the last acceptable -ism in our culture.”

Since tzedakah (charity) is a sacred duty, Leder feels the excuses don’t justify the excess. Instead, Leder said, parents should confront such issues and use experiences with extravagance as an opportunity to teach their children about what is appropriate.

As for fears of negative comments getting back to party hosts? “I’m willing to take the risk in order to raise a menschy child,” Leder said.

 

Party Out of Bounds Read More »

Sweet Sixteen and Ready to Rise

Even though 16-year-old singer Liel Kolet was born on a kibbutz in northern Israel, she’d prefer to be called an international artist rather than an Israeli one. That largely explains why many of the younger generation of Israeli rock/pop buffs would know little about her. Nor is she routinely counted among the growing crop of Israeli pop princesses, such as Shiri Maimon, who also will be performing in Los Angeles later this month. She hasn’t released an album in Hebrew for wide distribution, and her English songs don’t get Israeli radio play.

And that’s just fine with Kolet. While the dark, curly-haired singer remains deeply connected to her Israeli roots — even while trotting the globe in America, Europe and Canada — she has her sights on the big leagues.

“From the start the idea was to build me as an international singer,” she said.

And there are parallels with her idol, Celine Dion. As young singers, both set their sights on international stardom with the backing of a dedicated manager (Kolet’s manager is Irit Ten-Hengel). Kolet, like Dion, has a clean and wholesome image, singing heartfelt songs about love, humanity and “the children.” On May 20, Kolet will represent Switzerland at the Eurovision singing contest, just as Dion, originally from Canada, did in 1988. The title of Kolet’s debut album is “Unison,” also the title of Dion’s hit debut.

“I’m not trying to be Celine Dion — we don’t have same kind of music — but what she achieved in her career and the steps she’s been through and what she represents are an example to me,” said Kolet in a very slight Israeli accent during a telephone interview. “She is an example of what an artist should be: She has an amazing voice and presence on stage that really touches to the heart of people. People come to hear her voice. That to me is what an artist is about.”

Kolet has a powerful voice and range, but Israeli-born female vocalists have notoriously failed to make a successful U.S. crossover. With the possible exception of Ofra Haza, another of Kolet’s favorites, Israeli divas usually fare better in Europe, which is generally more open to musical diversity.

Still, Ten-Hengel, Kolet’s international manager, left her prestigious career as a music executive at Sony Europe to focus solely on Kolet, because she has little doubt that Kolet will achieve her dreams.

“Mark my word: When she’s 18, she’s huge in America,” said Ten-Hengel. “She has the whole package — voice, personality, love for music, passion and angelic beauty.”

A select audience will judge for themselves when Kolet headlines the May 24 black-tie award dinner of the International Visitor’s Council. Music industry bigwigs are expected to be there for their own look, including Grammy-award winning producer David Foster, who has produced several of Dion’s hits. Ken Kragen, Kolet’s U.S.-based manager, is the dinner’s honoree for his production of humanitarian projects, including We Are the World and Hands Across America.

A veteran manager of such artists as Kenny Rogers, Lionel Richie, Olivia Newton John and the Bee Gees, Kragen came across Kolet two years ago when he saw a video of her performance at the 80th birthday celebration for former Israeli Prime Minister Shimon Peres. At the star- and diplomat-studded event, Kolet spontaneously called Bill Clinton to the stage to sing a duet with her of Lennon’s “Imagine.” It happened to be one of her best career moves.

“I realized this lady had amazing poise and ability and was a wonderful singer with an amazing voice,” Kragen said.

Two years ago, Kragen introduced the aspiring starlet to American music industry executives in Los Angeles.

With no major American record deals were in the offing, Kolet spent the last two years building up an impressive resume of performances in Europe, particularly in Germany, where she has won several awards. Her management believes that she’s now poised to conquer North America, making her upcoming visit to Los Angeles all the more significant.

“It’s not easy,” Kragen said. “The record industry today is much less inclined to sign new acts. The difference now is that there’s a track record in Europe.”

Kolet’s participation in charity events has put her onstage with artists such as Elton John, U2’s Bono and, most recently, Andrea Boccelli. She has developed a close working relationship with Klaus Meine of the legendary German rock band, the Scorpions, having performed with him last year in Israel.

Her first international album, “Unison,” is a potpourri of ethnic-tinged love ballads, upbeat pop songs and music with a “message”; it includes three duets with Meine. Their take on Naomi Shemer’s “Jerusalem of Gold” is the most Israeli song on the album, reflecting the Israeli pride she says she’ll always carry with her.

As Kolet put it: “Singing for peace and everything that I do and my charity events are because I grew-up in Israel.”

For more information on Liel Kolet, visit www.liel.net.

 

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