A Family Doctor

Leave a Comment / Old Stories / Rob Eshman

When Dr. William H. Parker talks, women listen. As chair of theobstetrics and gynecology department at Santa Monica-UCLA MedicalCenter and a clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine, hisjob depends on being able to give clear, calm answers to the fraughtquestions of women’s health: “What’s an abnormal period?” “What doPap smear results mean?” “What are the risks of a hysterectomy?”

What Parker found is that outside his office and the school,finding answers to these questions is no easy task. The books thatfill “Women’s Health” sections at the local Barnes and Noble areusually incomplete or outdated, or burdened with an egregiouslypolitical agenda — i.e., says the doctor, “All men are out to chopout your uterus no matter what.”

So Parker decided to enter the book world himself. “AGynecologist’s Second Opinion: The Questions and Answers You Need ToTake Charge of Your Health” (Plume/Penguin, $13.95) is a sparklinglyclear, complete and compact compendium of medical answers to the mostcommon reproductive problems of women. In a question-and-answerformat, Parker tackles cysts, endometriosis, fibroids, pelvic pain,urinary problems, surgery — just about everything but pregnancy,menopause and breast cancer. “Those are books in themselves,” hesays.

Writing the book while maintaining a full practice became a Parkerfamily affair. He woke up at 5 a.m. for two years to write a firstdraft. His wife, Rachel, an English teacher at Temple Emanuel DaySchool in Beverly Hills, where the family belongs, rewrote and editedhis pages before going off to teach. Parker’s partners, Drs. IngridA. Rodi and Amy Rosenman, also contributed sections. Although theauthor’s credentials are solid and the book lucid, two majorpublishers turned it down because, they explained in a letter, he wasnot a female gynecologist. “I was furious,” he said.

Penguin/Plume finally published the book, but left most of thepublicity to the author. Once again, family came through. Parker’sson, Aaron, 16, a student at Crossroads School for Arts and Scienceswith a nascent web-design business, designed a web site for the bookto boost sales and to provide additional answers to readers.

On the web site (www.gynsecond opinion.com), you can ask Parkerquestions and, time permitting, he will e-mail the answer. You canalso order the book through a direct link to Amazon. com, the webmega-bookstore. So far, a surprising number of inquiries have comefrom husbands and boyfriends. “Guys don’t have access to this kind ofinformation,” says Parker, “and they’re concerned about theirpartners.” You can find “A Gynecologist’s Second Opinion” atbookstores or on the World Wide Web. — Robert Eshman,Associate Edito

Robbo’s Latest Album

At my cousin’s seder last year, my son, Sam, stood up and sang afunny ditty that’s hard to do justice to in a newspaper without asound chip. It went something like this: “Pharaoh, pharaoh, whoa,baby, let my people go! Uh! Uh!”

It turned out that he had picked up this charming musical numberfrom the song leader at summer camp, JCA Sholom in Malibu. His namewas Robbo. He wore a bandanna on his head and kept the kids in songsand stitches most of the time.

I didn’t think much about Robbo until a cassette landed on my deska couple of weeks ago. Titled “A Part of a Chain,” it was the firstJewish album by Robbo, a.k.a. Robb Zelonky. Robbo, 33, whom I reachedby phone — he was between songs at JCA — has been performing inYiddish, Hebrew, English and hilarious made-up amalgam languagessince he was 4. He started in his hometown of Chicago, where he waspart of a family act with his parents and sister.

He began writing songs a few years ago, when he was a teacher anda student’s problem with a bully inspired a song called “JimmyKnucklesandwich.” That led to more songs, two popular secular albumsand performances all over the country, including the White House. Buthe is still best-loved in Southern California, particularly in theValley, where he lives with his wife, Barbara, and two smallchildren, Zoe and Elijah. “They’re my greatest inspiration,” he says.

Robbo also has a huge following at JCA, where he is spending histhird summer. Robbo’s songs have all been sparked by children, whosevoices are heard on various tunes on this album. One tender piece,”Miracle in June,” celebrates his daughter’s birth. Others, such as”Samson,” “David and Goliath” and “The Tower of Babel” are funnytakes on biblical tales. The new album is available at PagesBookstore in Tarzana, the House of Judaica in Woodland Hills, or bycalling (818) 758-1888,. — Ruth Stroud, Staff Writer

From Clown to Terrorist

Elya Baskin doesn’t usually get to play bad guys.

In “Moscow on the Hudson,” he was the homesick circus clown whocouldn’t bear to defect from the Soviet Union with Robin Williams. InNBC’s “Mad About You,” he was Vladimir, Jamie’s amiable co-worker.

In fact, the 46-year-old émigré was getting sick andtired of playing “nice Russians.” Until director Wolfgang Petersenchose him to portray the right-hand man of a terrorist played by GaryOldman, who holds the first family hostage aboard the first airplanein “Air Force One.”

Baskin doesn’t smile much — he glowers next to Oldman and pilotsthe 747. He grimaces too, as he’s being shot dead by Harrison Ford,who plays the president .

Action films don’t offer much room for characterization, butBaskin was able to figure out some motivation for his character byreflecting on his life and his

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Make the Time Count

Leave a Comment / Kids & Teens, Old Stories, Parenting / Rabbi Ed Feinstein

Child rearing, it turns out, is a relativelyshort-term project. The truth is that we don’t have them for verylong. Eighteen years, that’s all. Eighteen years, from birth untilthey move away to Stanford. If your child is 5, you’ve got 13 yearsleft. If your child is 8, you’ve got 10 years. If your child is 11,you’ve got only seven years — just a few years to put them to bedwith a story and a song, to make them breakfast, to stick artwork upon the fridge.

It’s also a very few years to teach values, toshape character, to instill a way of life. If it takes a lifetime tocreate a masterpiece of art or music, how do we shape the characterof our children in just a few years? We used to hope that they’dlearn by example — watch us and model their behavior after ours.That’s difficult these days. We can’t assume that by living a certainset of values, our kids will model their values after our own. Theoutside culture produces too much static interference. The mediaculture is powerful, intrusive and pernicious. For every parentalwarning to think carefully and to act reflectively, there’s a Nike adadmonishing, “Just Do It!”

It takes more than modeling to teach valuesbecause the values that we think we are modeling, the values we thinkwe are living, aren’t always visible to our kids. When we write acheck to a charity that we deem important, how do our kids know? Whenwe go to a meeting of the community, leaving them at home with thesitter, how are they to know?

To raise kids with strong values, we must be muchmore affirmative in our efforts. We must know our own values. And wemust work — consciously and creatively — to make our values visibleto our kids.

Begin with this assignment: What do you want yourchild to take to college? No, not the Toyota or the computer, butwhat values, what commitments, what ethics? Make a list of the 10values you want your child to have. Post the list on yourrefrigerator door. Ask yourself each day how these values have foundtheir way into your child’s life.

Qualities of character are communicated byimmersing children in an environment rich with symbols, rituals andstories. Because children need to see and to hear and to touch ourvalues, the Torah teaches: U’k’tavtem al mezuzot beitecha — “Writethem on the door posts of your house” (Deuteronomy 6:9). Read yourhome. Read the values that are visible in your home. Do you have atzedakah box? Do you have Shabbat candles? Does your home — thevisible and the tangible environment in which you bring up yourchildren — bespeak your deepest passions and purposes? Are thererituals in your life, rituals that communicate your ethics? Do youshare stories at bedtime, at holiday times, at special moments? Arethese stories that help kids find their place in a greater story,stories that give kids courage to face life?

We have them for so little time. Make the timecount. The greatest gift we give our kids is a sense of life’spurpose and meaning, the values we uphold, the commitments we fightfor, the passions that make life worthwhile. The Rabbis warned us:”Hazman katzar, vi’hamalachah miruba’at.”

The time is short, and the task substantial. Starttoday.

Ed Feinstein is rabbi at Valley Beth Shalom inEncino.

Make the Time Count Read More »

L.A. Stories

Leave a Comment / Old Stories / Jewish Journal

I started reading Faye Kellerman’s Peter Decker/Rina Lazarusmurder mysteries out of curiosity, after sampling from husbandJonathan Kellerman’s Alex Delaware series. I’ve stuck with Faye and,for the most part, haven’t been disappointed. I have beenparticularly intrigued by LAPD Lt. Decker’s move from secularism tomodern Orthodoxy as he courted and then married the observant Rina.

In Kellerman’s latest novel, “Serpent’s Tooth,” religious themesare not as paramount as in some of her previous novels, and thesuspense is sometimes less palpable. But her dialogue and story linekeep the pages turning.

The action begins with a mass murder at Estelle’s, a trendy LosAngeles restaurant, that leaves 13 dead and 32 wounded. The primesuspect is a disgruntled former employee, Harlan Manz, who lies deadat the scene, presumably by his own hand. But ballistic analysisleads Decker and his colleagues to suspect a second shooter, probablylinked to Manz’s sometime tennis partner, Jeanine Garrison, an avidhigh-society fund-raiser who stands to inherit millions now that herparents are among the dead at Estelle’s. At one point, Decker’s wife,Rina, defends her beleaguered husband against the gorgeous Jeanine’sunfounded sexual-harassment charges by explaining the sexualpractices of a devout Orthodox wife to police investigators. Thestory also offers another murder (Jeanine’s alcohol-swillingbrother), a drug bust at an exclusive prep school and Decker’sfurious opposition to his daughter’s intent to follow his path intopolice detective work. All in all, “Serpent’s Tooth” is a goodpoolside read. — Ruth Stroud, Staff Writer

“The Bonding of Isaac,” by Joel Lurie Grishaver (Alef DesignGroup, $21.95)

Who else but Los Angeles’ own Joel Grishaver could weave a NeilYoung album, a Greyhound bus conversation and James Cagney’s “WhiteHeat” into a midrash on loneliness and completion? Subtitled “Storiesand Essays About Gender and Jewish Spirituality,” this latestoffering from the author, educator and Torah Aura co-founder exploresthe psychological and spiritual differences between male and female,and how they can lead us to a greater understanding of the dynamicand complex nature of the Divine. It’s a creatively assembled andhighly accessible collage of ideas culled from biblical and rabbinictexts, pop psychology, personal experience, contemporary culture andthe theater of the everyday Jewish classroom. True to Grishaver’sstyle, the book reads like a far-ranging, free-form conversation. Theoverall effect is like being invited to one of those fantasy dinnerparties people construct in their minds, the kind where friends,relatives and historical figures sit at the same table. “The Bondingof Isaac” is thought-provoking, soulful and often humorous. You’ll beglad you were invited. — Diane Arieff Zaga, ArtsEditor

L.A. Stories Read More »

Caught in a Maelstrom

Leave a Comment / Old Stories / Eric Silver

Brenner, a 57-year-old New York-born social worker, Reform Jew and feminist, is at the epicenter of the latest halachic earthquake shaking Israel. Her downstairs neighbor is Dov Dumbrovich, the Orthodox chairman of the local religious council, who is defying a Supreme Court ruling and refusing to let her take her seat on the council.

The court last week ordered Dumbrovich to admit Brenner, who had been nominated to the council by the local branch of the militantly anti-clerical Meretz. Religious councils are not rabbinic bodies. Their role is to mediate between the religious bureaucracy and the citizen, who has to turn to the rabbinate for such services as marriage, divorce and funerals, even if he or she is not an observant Orthodox Jew. Members are chosen by the political factions represented at city hall.

Orthodox politicians accused the justices of turning the Supreme Court into “a branch of a political party,” and they vowed to force through the Knesset legislation that barred Reform Jews from religious councils. Deputy Religious Affairs Minister Arye Gamliel threatened to resign rather than publish Brenner’s appointment in the official gazette (a legal requirement). In the convoluted world of Israeli theo-politics, Gamliel is the de facto head of the Religious Affairs Ministry.

Joyce Brenner is an improbable cause célèbre. Her late father, Eli Rothman, was an Orthodox rabbi with a small congregation in Brooklyn and a deep commitment to Zionism. Brenner, now divorced and a mother of three daughters, took her master’s degree and doctorate at that pillar of Orthodoxy, Yeshiva University, where she is still a visiting lecturer. She made aliyah in 1976.

But she was a child of the rebellious 1960s as well as of the rabbi’s study. She turned to Reform Judaism as a young married woman starting a family. “It was the women’s issues,” she says. “I wanted full equality in all aspects of expressing my religiosity. It couldn’t happen, it wasn’t happening, within the Orthodox community.”

She settled in Netanya “because it’s pretty.” It was, she says, the perfect town. “My children were school-age. Here, children walk everywhere, they take their bikes, and there’s the beach. What could be nicer?”

It was her feminism that brought Brenner into politics, a feminism that, in macho Israel, had a pioneer taste to it. She was one of a group of English-speaking immigrants who founded a women’s psychotherapy center in Netanya. It has grown into a counseling service with offices in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv.

“Israel,” she says, “gave those of us who came in the 1970s a chance to express ourselves in a full and exciting way because these services didn’t exist here. We were taking on the issues that we all felt were very important in making a better society, feminism and a liberal Judaism.

“These were the issues that gave us a sense of contributing to Israel and of fulfilling ourselves. People like me, coming out of the civil rights movement, felt Israel was a place we could make things happen. The Reform part was the smallest part of it.”

In Netanya, she is “just a regular member” of a small Reform community. She became involved with Meretz on the local level “because they are the voice of the issues I want people to pay attention to.”

Why, with all this, does Brenner want to serve on the town’s religious council?

“There’s a lot of money disbursed,” she says, “10 million shekels (about $3 million) in a town with almost 200,000 people. Most of it is city money, and people don’t even know how it gets divided. This is a council that gives services to everybody in the locality.

“I’d like to be the address for the people who may need these services and may not know how to approach them, or are turned away by official rabbinical services. Young couples, for instance. I’d like to be the woman who helps young couples approach these services. I’d be very proud to do that.”

She would also, however modestly, like to be the women’s voice. “I can’t presume to speak for Orthodox women,” she says, “but I think Israeli women have been treated very unfairly, even within Orthodoxy. There are lots of aspects of divorce law that could be handled differently if the rabbinate would approach them differently.”

Many women end up in the feminist counseling centers. “I’ve dealt with hundreds of problem divorces,” Brenner says. “But the really tragic cases we’ve come across are incest within the ultra-Orthodox world. Young women come to us who are very scared of being ostracized within their communities. They come for counseling, but they ask the therapist not to go to their communities and not to prosecute the fathers, uncles or brothers responsible. This is not the task of the religious council, but it’s part of my commitment to change things.”

On her way to what should have been her first meeting as a member of the Netanya religious council — a meeting from which she was politely, but firmly, ejected by her downstairs neighbor — Brenner was approached by a Russian immigrant who had cut out her picture from a newspaper. He told her that the town’s large immigrant community, with all its problems of Jewish identity, was excited “that you’re going to be on the council, that we’ll have someone who will listen to us.”

Not yet, it seems.

Caught in a Maelstrom Read More »

A Legendary Friendship

Leave a Comment / Old Stories, Womans Voice / Jewish Journal

Linda Deutsch and Theo Wilson livedacross the street from each other for most of the past 21 years. Theywere trial reporters who met in the Charles Manson courtroom,competitors and best friends. On Jan. 17, Wilson called Deutsch fourtimes while anxiously awaiting the limo that was to take her from herHollywood Hills home to a CBS interview — the official start ofpromotion for her new book, “Headline Justice,” which had taken her10 years to complete.

On the third call, Deutsch told her not to worry:”You’re a star.”

On the fourth call, Wilson told her: “The limo ishere, and I can’t get into it. I think I’m having an attack.” A fewhours later, she was dead.

This is the story of two legends: Wilson, who diedat 79, and her friend, the equally respected Deutsch, 53, of TheAssociated Press, who has labored to keep her colleague’s memoryalive.

Though her byline was best known to readers of theNew York Daily News, Wilson covered Los Angeles trials — notablySirhan Sirhan and Manson — for more than 30 years and lived heresince the mid-1970s. She was a roving reporter whose trials take usdown the memory lane of American crime: Sam Sheppard, Carl Coppolino,Candace Mossler, Jack Ruby, Patty Hearst. Readers hung on her everyword: Her front-page coverage of Jean Harris’ conviction for killingthe Scarsdale Diet Doctor, Herman Tarnower, sold an additional 50,000copies of the Daily News. The paper ran her photograph on the sidesof city busses.

I met her briefly when I was a young trialreporter sitting in on the Pentagon Papers case. Born TheodoraNadelstein, the youngest daughter of 11 children, she was, at5-foot-1, no-nonsense, unflappable (the air in the Ellsberg courtroomwas electric, and I broke a sweat), able to dictate stories from araft of notes on deadline. She was known for her chutzpah: She oncetook a $200 cab ride from Los Angeles to Chowchilla to break thekidnapping story, and once told Manson to shut up. People thought ofher as a “tough broad.”

She was a journalistic god when I was growing up.She and the New York Post’s Dorothy Schiff were the rare women in abusiness I longed to enter. She gave a would-be writer hope.

Wilson understood the romance of trial coverage,and how what takes place in the courtroom informs America’s view ofitself. She had less patience for the jaundice and self-servingnature of her peers. In “Headline Justice” (dedicated to her son,Delph, a local attorney), Wilson compares press advocacy in the O.J.Simpson trial with her own notorious cases.

“Countless times in my career,” Wilson wrote, “aprosecutor or defense attorney offered me an ‘exclusive’ tipbeneficial, of course, to his side. And every time, I said: ‘That’sgreat. When it comes out in court, I assure you it will be my leadthat day.’ Usually the exclusive never surfaced again.”

“She played it straight,” Deutsch told me lastweek. “She wanted the reader to know both sides, and to make up hisown mind.”

I met with Deutsch days after the Los Angeles CityCouncil created Theo Wilson Square (Camrose Drive and Glencoe Way) inthe Hollywood Hills. Her dining-room table was covered with mountedphotos and Daily News billboards that Theo would have used on hernational book tour. Instead, Deutsch uses them herself as she travelsthe country, promoting the memory of her friend.

After 30 years with AP, Deutsch has becomeAmerica’s premier trial reporter, still covering the Manson andSirhan parole hearings (“some cases never leave you,” she says) anddoing another of her one-on-one interviews with O.J. Simpson asrecently as last week.

When Wilson died, Deutsch was at loose ends.Although Wilson had retired from daily journalism in 1984, she keptup to date. While Deutsch sat in the Simpson courtroom, her mentorwatched the proceedings, gavel to gavel, at home. Every night, nomatter how late Deutsch was with filing her stories, they’d havedinner and compare notes.

Burned out and grieving, fielding endless phonecalls from colleagues around the nation, Deutsch wondered how shecould pay tribute. Deutsch turned down coverage of the TimothyMcVeigh case in Denver to spend most of the past year promoting”Headline Justice” on a national tour that she’s arranged and paidfor herself. (She’ll be in Sacramento in November for the Unabombertrial.) The book sold out immediately, but Deutsch had to pushpublisher Thunder’s Mouth Press for the second printing, which shehopes will pay for a scholarship for women journalists at theUniversity of Missouri. She has done more than 50 personalappearances, including “Today” and National Public Radio. (She’llspeak to a group of young leaders on Monday at the Skirball CulturalCenter.) The book, she acknowledges, is a way of refocusing herlife.

“People called us ‘Thinda,'” she said. “We wereboth New Yorkers, both Jews, and both short. We saw life through thesame lens.”

The trial world is cutthroat, in which everyparticipant — attorneys, defendants and reporters — has an ulteriormotive. That’s why Deutsch’s efforts have won the awe of colleaguesin the press and law alike. We’ll let one of them have the last word.”She’s the best,” says Laurie Levenson, a national legal commentatorwho has known Deutsch for years. “She’s doing this as an act of loveand friendship, to keep Theo alive.”

Marlene Adler Marks is editor-at-large of TheJewish Journal. Her e-mail address is wvoice@aol.com.

SEND EMAIL TO MARLENE ADLER MARKS
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Read a previous week’s column byMarlene Adler Marks:

July 25, 1997 — A Perfect Orange

July 18, 1997 — News of Our Own

July 11, 1997 — Celluloid Heroes

July 4, 1997 — Meet theSeekowitzes

June 27, 1997 — The Facts of Life

June 20, 1997 — Reality Bites

June 13, 1997 — The Family Man

A Legendary Friendship Read More »

Letters

Leave a Comment / Letters to the Editor, Old Stories / Jewish Journal

After reading your interesting July 18 story “Beyond Their Means?” we are writing to share an exciting, quality and low-cost alternative to pricey Jewish day schools: Jewish homeschooling.

We are two Jewish families that have chosen homeschooling for the past two years. We each started out wanting our children to go to Jewish day schools. While we’re at different places on the level-of-observance continuum, both families are deeply committed to raising Jewish kids in Jewish homes while providing a wonderfully rich and rewarding homeschooling lifestyle.

Homeschooling isn’t something just Christian fundamentalists do. More than 2.5 million people in the U.S. are homeschooling, which includes many Jewish families. Jewish homeschoolers even have their own print and on-line publications.

We regularly see many Jewish families in the Los Angeles area who homeschool. We know many more who are seriously considering this alternative for educational, spiritual and, in some cases, financial reasons. These are all concerned parents who recognize the importance of the Jewish family and the primary responsibility that parents have in transmitting Jewish values directly to their children.

With kids spending 6 to 8 hours a day at private or public school, plus commuting time and extracurricular activities, a parent’s role has become secondary in many cases. By contrast, homeschooling offers the opportunity for parents to be a central part of a child’s life.

Jewish homeschooling at its best provides a quality education with real-life, hands-on experiences on a daily basis and a rich diversity of learning opportunities (especially here in Los Angeles).

Homeschoolers in Los Angeles have access to a dynamic homeschooling community that provides many opportunities for kids and their parents to socialize and learn from one another on a nearly daily basis if desired. Some homeschoolers take classes together or receive instruction in small groups with parents or tutors.

Ideally, homeschooling isn’t just taking the school model a nd bringing it home–it’s really “lifeschooling,” which utilizes every life opportunity as a learning opportunity.

For those parents who feel they cannot give up a second income by homeschooling, take another look at how little you really have left financially from a second income after deducting federal and state income tax, Social Security and Medicare taxes, private day school costs and work-related expenses. Also consider how much of your energy and life force is used up at work each day rather than having these resources available for your children.

Susan and Don Silver

Martine and Marc Porter-Zasada

Los Angeles

I enjoyed your article about the costs of Jewish day schools in Los Angeles. Clearly we all seek an excellent education for our children, and are willing to sacrifice whatever we must in order to achieve that.

There is a small number of Jewish families who have discovered homeschooling. I know that when I first met someone who homeschooled their children, I thought she was a certifiable nut, but when my family later met another homeschooling family on vacation, I must say, I was impressed. The children were happy, the relationships between the parents, children and siblings, were enviable. These children were clearly well educated and well socialized.

My children immediately decided this was for them, and after I stopped laughing hysterically, I calmly listened to their arguments of why I should let them homeschool.

Up to that point I had worked four days a week, and spent the fifth volunteering at their school. Mornings were usually spent yelling as we all tried to get ready for work or school, afternoons at sports, music lessons, etc., followed by an evening of more yelling about homework. No one was happy, but we were too stressed to realize it. Free moments were spent mesmerized by TV or Nintendo, and unscheduled time meant a litany of “I’m bored!”

I agreed to let the kids try this experiment in education. That was four years ago, and we’re still homeschooling. It’s been great, and I have no regrets.

Being with my children has been irreplaceable. I’ve gotten to know them, and they know me, and our relationship is so much better. It’s painful to remember all those angry words, and even angrier thoughts. My children have had an opportunity to develop a friendship with each other that I envy. Yes, they fight, but still beyond our walls, they are each others’ protector and friend.

No longer are we restricted to a timetable. If my son decides to build a rocket one day, great! I even help him find paints and brushes. If my daughter decides to bake, we learn about fractions by making half a recipe. Their schooling has become individualized: my son enjoys learning on the computer, my daughter doesn’t.

Academically my children have tested well. As weaknesses have appeared, they’ve been confronted. At this point, my children are the most important thing in my life. If my kids aren’t understanding something, there is no limit to what I would do until it is mastered.

My children may well go back to school. We’re approaching the age of team sports, school yearbook committees, dances, elections and other things homeschoolers have difficulty finding. I get sad to think about not seeing them everyday. They are strong, happy, confident, wonderful people, it’s been wonderful to spend this time with them, and I truly wish that every parent could spend this kind of time with their children.

Jennifer Holtzman, DDS

Member of Family Centered Education of Los Angeles, a homeschooling support group

Lessons from Tragedy

In response to “Lessons from the Mahane Yehuda Tragedy,” by Rabbi Marvin Hier (Aug. 8):

Those who believe that to divide Jerusalem into East and West would solve the problem are as wrong as those who advocate a solely Jewish Jerusalem. Walls, whether dividing a city or around a city, do not good neighbors make.

When peace will come — as it must — Jerusalem, as Israel’s capital, must be open to all its inhabitants, and the holy places of Moslems, Christians, and Jews must be equally open and equally protected.

This part of Herzl’s vision, while still a dream, ought to be remembered at the beginning of this centennial year of the first World Zionist Congress.

The lesson to be learned is that the only ultimate protection from terrorism is peace.

Ruth Nussbaum

Sherman Oaks

One need not be an apologist for Yasser Arafat to question Rabbi Marvin Hier’s list of “important lessons that Israel must learn” from the suicide bombing in Mahane Yehuda.

Rabbi Hier warns that ceding a portion of Jerusalem to be the capital of a Palestinian state would enable a terrorist to “leave his bombs at the King David Hotel, walk a few blocks and enter another country which has shown little inclination to apprehend terrorists or bring them to justice.”

Israel has had complete control over Jerusalem and almost all of the West Bank since June 1967, and it has every inclination to apprehend terrorists, but it was also unable to prevent all suicide bombings, many of which took place in parts of Israel other than Jerusalem.

In the second of Rabbi Hier’s two “lessons,” he warns us that “. . .a significant minority of Palestinians hold fundamentalist views that teach them that Israel is a cancer which must be expunged. They hold such views now, and they will hold such views after a treaty has been concluded.”

By what right does the rabbi assume that his undefined “significant minority” will retain its views after there is peace with Israel? Would he dare to make such unthinking generalizations about Jews, even our own fundamentalists who sit in Hebron and elsewhere, including Los Angeles?

Rabbi Hier has drawn on stereotypes of Arabs, Palestinians and Islam in a way that the Museum of Tolerance, which he heads, decries as the first step on the road to racism and intolerance. Perhaps he might benefit from a walk through his own institution.

Yehuda Lev

Providence, R.I.

The Other Side of Judaism

Rabbi Abner Weiss, writing in the Jewish Journal (“Refusing To Be Walled In,” July 18), states the following:

“I could not [support the notion of pluralism], but I passionately believe in respect for diversity.” It was an attempt to clothe the fierce antagonism of the Orthodox toward the Reform and Conservative sectors in a seemingly benign and reasonable posture. I call this one side of Judaism.

But the rest of the article made it very clear that the Orthodox are convinced that Judaism cannot be properly practiced without embracing every aspect of ritual tradition. They claim that the Torah is the immutable word of God and any deviation negates the Judaic concept. I may be naive and I am sure that what I propose here has been submitted countless times over the ages.

Very simply, I have been proud to be considered a Jew because a very long time ago, I was taught that Judaism supported the following tenets:

Jews should be just. Jews should be compassionate. Jews should be charitable. Jews should be ethical. Jews should be spiritually oriented.

Jews should believe that the world can become a better place in which all people can live.

It has been suggested that unless Jews observe halacha, all of the above principles will be undermined. The Orthodox Jews do, in fact, observe halacha. Can we honestly say in the light of their recent behavior that their observance has supported “the other side” of Judaism?

Who are the non-Jews?

Hy Bregar

Los Angeles

Correction

The Jewish Journal neglected to credit photographer Peter Halmagyi for photographs in past weeks issues. Halmagyi took the photos for “Tisha B’Av Times 4,” (Aug. 8); “A Sephardic Celebration,” (Aug. 1); and “Israel’s Ethiopian Challenge,” (July 11). We regret the omission.

THE JEWISH JOURNAL welcomes letters from all readers. Letters should be no more than 250 words and we reserve the right to edit for space. All letters must include a signature, valid address and phone number. Pseudonyms and initials will not be used, but names will be withheld on request. Unsolicited manuscripts and other materials should include a self-addressed, stamped envelope in order to be returned.

Letters Read More »

A Time for Unity, a Time for Leadership

Leave a Comment / Old Stories / Herbert M

When my grandson stands at the Kotel…I will remind him that whatever divides us…it will be my generation’s responsibility to guarantee that he gets the tools for Jewish survival, and it will be his generation’s responsibility to determine how those tools are used

We are rapidly approaching a momentous occasion — the 50th anniversary of Israel. It should be a time for unquestioned Jewish pride and Jewish unity. Yet this may not be the case.

My grandson, a recent bar mitzvah, is the child of a mother who was converted to Judaism by a Conservative rabbi. When I take him to Israel this summer, he will, hopefully, begin to understand more about our Jewish state. Perhaps he will ask about the Law of Return, under which he is eligible to make aliyah someday, if he so chooses. Maybe he will ask why, under Israeli law, he could not marry a Jewish woman in Israel or be buried in consecrated ground in Israel. Or how do I explain to him why, as a Jew born of a mother who was converted by a Conservative rabbi, he would have to undergo a conversion — an Orthodox conversion — to enjoy these benefits.

When the state was formed in 1948, there was great controversy as to how it could bring together Jews from diverse backgrounds and ideologies. It was decided by Israel’s founding fathers that it would be a democracy, but civil matters having to do with marriage, divorce, burial and conversion would be entrusted to the chief rabbinate of Israel. This has been the law in Israel for almost 50 years, but it is little understood in the United States.

Until recently, with the tremendous influx of Russian olim — many of whom are of mixed parentage — these concerns impacted only a handful of Israelis. Although some in Israel do not feel comfortable with the “status quo” and have worked around it, they aren’t necessarily negatively affected by it.

But here in the United States, the situation is radically different and has far-reaching ramifications. A vast majority of American Jews, if they are affiliated at all, are not Orthodox. Nonetheless, they identify positively as Jews, strongly support Israel and feel part of our community. Judaism is an important part of who they are. They reflect Judaic values, and many proudly maintain our traditions and pass them on to their children.

In 70 A.D., with the destruction of the Second Temple by the Romans, aided and abetted by incredible hatred and divisiveness among Jews, we were dispersed throughout the world. Historians disagree on how we survived, but some think that we were held together by our deep desire to

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Taking Over the Waiting Room

Leave a Comment / Family, Old Stories / Linda Feldman

My mother called to give me an update on my aunt Ruthie’scondition. She had a cancer-spotted kidney removed a few days ago,and the family Jew-Ex was hot with medical reports. My mother, whosecurse it was to be the firstborn, was cursed a second time by havinga daughter who she used to liken to her sister Ruth whenever Istepped out of line — which was often, according to my mother.Ruthie’s curse was to be born two years after my mother and to neverhave had a daughter.

In the course of our phone conversation, Mother and I talked aboutmy grandmother and how she lived to 94 — namely, by never going todoctors. The only time she ever saw the interior of an examining roomwas when her eyes were examined by Dr. Kauderer, which was once everyfive years or whenever her glasses broke. I have her last pair ofglasses, and when I tried them on recently, I realized that her eyeswere better at the end of her life than mine are now.

If she were alive today, she would be considered in the vanguardof alternative medicine. My grandmother dispensed her own antidotes:for croupy chest, a slab of mustard plaster that, when removed, alsotook with it the last layer of skin (I swore that was the reason Iwas flat-chested until 15); a wool sock filled with kosher salt,heated in the oven, placed behind the ear for earaches (I used thison my son); cold baths for high fevers; milk of magnesia forclogging; and enemas for everything else, including the common cold.

I used to go to school sick rather than be treated by her brand ofmedicine, but my cheeks blazed with fever and gave me away, and I wassent home to face the medical establishment. My grandmother wasalways in. Since being sick in my house always carried the extraweight that death was just around the corner, vigils were the waydeath was warded off.

My family is absolutely terrific if someone is in the hospital. Wetake over the waiting room from 8 a.m. until 11 p.m. We read charts,question the doctors, rearrange the furniture, solve other people’shealth problems and sometimes, as in the case of my uncle Joey, savelives.

It was my aunt Ruthie who discovered that he was running a feverafter a gall bladder operation more than 25 years ago. She refused tobe dismissed and pressed the doctor to find the reason. Joey wasbeing attacked by a virus that had invaded his blood and probablywould have killed him had it not been for Ruthie — or Nurse Klavell,as she used to be known.

And, now, as I write this, a vigil is happening in a Miamihospital for Ruthie. My aunt Syl, aunt Adele, Ruthie’s boys, Michaeland Stevie, and my mother are standing guard against the angel ofdeath. Those of us in the diaspora get the news strained throughselective memories and stories. Take the topic of yesterday’swaiting-room conversation: the upcoming wedding of Ruthie’sgranddaughter and how she has been told to wear navy blue. Navy blue?

I remember when my grandmother was told to wear yellow for mywedding — the first one where color coordination mattered. Not onlydid she wear pink, but she walked down the aisle alone, refusing tolean on anyone’s arm — proof that she was in no way infirm. How ourconversation segued to my wedding, I’ll never know, but my mother andI were matching memories, and I disagreed about who paid for mywedding gown (me, and it was $60 wholesale), who allowed mygrandmother to wear pink (me), and, suddenly, she backed off andsaid: “You’re a writer, so if you want to remember things like that,go ahead. I understand.”

What’s a girl to do? So I pretended to be one of those consecutivetranslators at the United Nations, and here’s how I heard it: “I’mright, but you’re not exactly wrong.” I think we’ve reached amilestone in our communication system.

I come from a tightly knitted family in which disagreements arenever resolved, because everyone is right. My aunt Ruthie soughtjustice and understanding in this family and received none. But, now,as she lies in the intensive-care unit, she has everyone’s attention,finally. And everyone has solidarity on one issue: No one should beforced to wear a navy blue dress.

Linda Feldman, a former columnist for the Los Angeles

Times, is the co-author of “Where To Go From Here: DiscoveringYour Own Life’s Wisdom,” due out his fall from Simon &Schuster.

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A No-Win Position

Leave a Comment / Israel, Old Stories / Larry Derfner

Labor Party leader Ehud Barak said that unless the opposition waited a decent interval before attacking Netanyahu politically, “it could be interpreted as if we were defending Arafat, even though this is not true — we are defending the State of Israel.”

Barak went out of his way to remind the public that neither he nor other opposition politicians were using the Mahane Yehuda attack to bash the government’s policies — which Netanyahu and the right wing had done with the bus bombings when Labor was in power.

But this was no magnanimous gesture on the part of the left; it was simple political common sense. After Mahane Yehuda, the Israeli public was not in the mood to hear that its prime minister had been too tough on the Palestinians. The Israeli public was hostile to Arafat. It blamed him entirely for the 15 deaths and 170 injuries in the marketplace, and it only wanted to hear about getting tougher on him.

So there have been no peace demonstrations in Israel. There is no anger at Netanyahu, as there was at Yitzhak Rabin and Shimon Peres after the mass killings that took place on their watch. When terror seemed to be in remission, Netanyahu reaped the credit. When it resurfaced at Mahane Yehuda, he escaped the blame.

Israel’s leading columnist, Nachum Barnea of Yediot Aharonot, gave this description of the political attitude among vendors at Mahane Yehuda: “When the left is in power, the left is to blame for terror…. Even when the right is in power, the left is to blame for terror. At Mahane Yehuda, the left is always to blame.” Barnea quoted one vendor as saying: “Where is [Meretz leader] Yossi Sarid? I’ll tear him apart.” Mahane Yehuda is a stronghold of right-wing, anti-Arab sentiment, and after the bombing, the Israeli public as a whole was identifying more and more with this mentality.

The hawkish mood was reflected in the television news coverage. Veteran anchorman Haim Yavin, regularly derided as a closet dove by right-wingers, hardly tried to hide his antipathy toward Arafat. After broadcasting the Palestinian leader’s promise to “fight terror as I always have in the past,” Yavin huffed and said, “as he always has in the past,” before going on to the next item.

Before the suicide attack, some U.S. officials, despairing at not being able to get Netanyahu to stop the construction at Har Homa and West Bank settlements, said that they were afraid Israel was going to have to learn the hard way that it couldn’t strong-arm its way to peace. They expected that Palestinian violence would have a sobering, moderating effect on Israeli policy.

The Israeli opposition also believed that once terror returned, Israelis would see the error of Netanyahu’s ways and demand that he change and become more conciliatory toward the Palestinians.

But the Mahane Yehuda bombing has had the opposite effect. It has goaded Israelis into a punitive mood, and Netanyahu’s closure of the territories, his pledge to jam the Voice of Palestine radio station, his refusal to transfer Palestinian tax money to Arafat, and his stipulation that negotiations will not restart until Arafat lowers the boom on Hamas have all won wide support — and not just from Netanyahu’s supporters.

Former Tel Aviv Mayor Shlomo Lahat, head of the Council for Peace and Security, an organization of dovish ex-military and intelligence officers, wrote to Arafat: “We will support all actions by our government aimed at preventing terror — even if this means stopping the peace process for a certain period of time.” Lahat also said that if Arafat didn’t put down terror, Israeli doves would no longer view him as a partner for peace.

Through all this, Meretz has remained consistent, demanding an end to settlement building and blaming such activity, in part, for the terror attack. The left-wing party sent a delegation to visit Arafat and blasted Netanyahu’s post-Mahane Yehuda measures as a recipe for bringing down the Palestinian Authority and putting Hamas in its place. However, Meretz Knesset Member Amnon Rubinstein told Arafat, “A government led by Meretz also will not compromise in the slightest on the issue of terror and the war against it.”

Yet while the public is in a militant mood toward the Palestinians, the Mahane Yehuda bombing has made it clear that Netanyahu’s way is not a guarantee against terror. The Labor-led opposition made this point convincingly, criticizing the prime minister for boasting two days before the attack that he had turned the tide against Palestinian terror.

Barak’s decision not to blame government policies for the attack appears to be politically wise. “It must be admitted that it has certainly been received with admiration by wide sectors of the public. A “responsible” opposition and “unity among the people” have always been close to the nationalistic heart,” wrote Ha’aretz columnist Gideon Levy.

Yet the opposition is in a bind, and for reasons other than the current Israeli mood. Its criticism of Netanyahu can easily be met by the countercharge that during the Rabin-Peres regime, there were a number of bombings as bad and worse than the one that struck Mahane Yehuda.

There are fewer Israelis than ever who believe that the prime minister will make good on his campaign promise to bring peace with security. But the opposition does not have the credibility to make such a promise today either. If the Israeli public is looking for an alternative that can end the bloodshed, the left is not offering one — perhaps because it has none to offer.

A No-Win Position Read More »

Wave of the Future

Leave a Comment / Old Stories, San Fernando Valley / Ruth Stroud

Left to right, Hebrew school pals Sam Graham, Matt Polinger,and Alex Shaw enjoy kosher hot dogs at Redondo Beach’s Esplanade. Photo by Jefferson Graham

If there’s an image of the South Bay, it’s this sun-drenched visionof perpetual summer and youth. But does this picture contain anyJews? For years, the myth has been that it didn’t, or, if there wereany, they were passing as something else.

But it turns out that there are more Jews in the South Bay thanmany had imagined — about 45,000, according to a just-releasedpopulation study by the Jewish Federation Council of Greater LosAngeles. It is the Southland’s fastest-growing Jewish communityoutside the Westside and parts of the San Fernando Valley. And moreJews, particularly young families, are moving in to the South Bay,which extends roughly from Westchester to San Pedro. They’re drawn bythe beaches, clean air, low crime rates and highly rated publicschools.

And instead of running from their Jewish roots, many now want toplant them even deeper — in their new community.

“I get five to 10 calls a week [from people] wanting to learn moreabout the Jewish community here,” says Rabbi Yossi Mintz, head of theChabad Jewish Community Center in Redondo Beach, which opened itsdoors just more than a year ago to serve the beach communities. Thecalls also come into the area’s six synagogues and into the JewishFederation-South Bay Council in Torrance.

Shira Most, South Bay Federation director.
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Jewish life in the South Bay is thriving but not always visible,says Federation Director Shira Most. “I call it the Diaspora,” saysMost, who has lived on the South Bay’s Palos Verdes Peninsula for 10years. “It’s much easier to take your Judaism for granted on theWestside and in the Valley. People have to work a little harder here,where there’s not a synagogue and a kosher butcher on every corner,and your neighbors usually aren’t Jewish.”

Jewish life in the South Bay isn’t as easily found as in otherparts of Los Angeles, says Rabbi Ronald Shulman, whose CongregationNer Tamid in Rancho Palos Verdes, a 600-family Conservative shul, hasdoubled in size since he arrived in 1983. “Here, [Jewish community]is based in the synagogues and communal organizations. It’s veryaccessible if you look for it. But it gives people the impressionthat it isn’t here.”

Top, Rabbi David Lieb of San Pedro’s Temple Beth-El and Bottom,Rabbi Steven Silver of Temple Menorah in Redondo Beach

Jewish and Alone

Growing up Jewish in Palos Verdes was a lonely experience for29-year-old Stephanie Asch, who left the South Bay for the heavilyJewish Fairfax area some years ago. “Even when I was a kid, I waswondering why we lived there,” says Asch. “I really loved mynon-Jewish friends, but I found it very isolating.” Asch, who becamea bat mitzvah at Temple Beth-El and Center, a Reform temple in SanPedro, is now Orthodox and works for the Jewish Federation.

Before she and her husband moved to the Palos Verdes Peninsulalast year, Adrianne Kaufman, who grew up in the Fairfax area of LosAngeles and attended Orthodox day schools, worried that there wouldbe few, if any, Jews in the South Bay. Now, happily settled in a homeoverlooking the sea, and awaiting their first child, Adrianne, 25,and Richard, 33, take walks around the neighborhood, keeping alookout for mezuzahs. There aren’t as many as there are near Fairfax,but many more than she had expected. Teaching a class at Ner Tamid,joining a chavurah and connecting with Jewish friends of her in-lawshave certainly helped. But her parents still have to bring the couplekosher meat from uptown.

Of course, for many Jews who live in the South Bay, finding Jewishcommunity wasn’t the most important goal. Steve Kahan, a mortgagebroker who lives in Hermosa Beach, ran into a bunch of surf-lovingJewish professionals such as himself at the Spectrum Club, a healthand fitness club in El Segundo. The five Jews, plus one non-Jew,began to meet regularly on Saturday mornings to go surfing along thecoast. When several of them also began getting together informallywith Chabad’s Rabbi Mintz, they jokingly referred to themselves asthe Jewish Surf Club. The membership runs the gamut from those suchas Kahan, who culturally identify as Jews, to those whom he calls”stealth Jews,” a variety that he says is typical to the South Bay.”They’re people who live here because they really enjoy the lifestyleand environment and don’t have a Jewish identity,” he says.

“I would say our common bond is surfing, and a side benefit is thefact that the majority are Jewish,” says Eddie Efron, a 44-year-oldRussian-born sales manager at a semiconductor company and a member ofthe Jewish Surf Club. Efron, though not religious, wears his Star ofDavid to the beach every single day and says that he some day hopesto marry a Jewish girl who “surfs and isn’t worried about breakingher nails.”

Kids from Chabad’s South Bay day camp, one of two Jewish summercamps in the area.

Building a Community

There are plenty of challenges to building a sense of Jewishcommunity in this area. Geography is one. The two “bookends” of theSouth Bay Jewish community are Manhattan Beach and the PV Peninsula.The latter includes four cities — Palos Verdes Estates, Rancho PalosVerdes, Rolling Hills Estates and the gated community of RollingHills, said to have the highest per capita income in the UnitedStates.

The South Bay’s distinct communities foster a sense ofneighborhood — but also a certain provincialism, says Shulman.”There are people in Manhattan Beach who won’t go to Palos Verdes,and people in Palos Verdes who just won’t go to Manhattan Beach,” hesays.

Despite what some call “white-bread” or “Waspy” enclaves in theSouth Bay, most Jews don’t find anti-Semitism a problem. LastDecember, school officials at a Manhattan Beach elementary schoolremoved a Christmas tree from a classroom after several Jewishparents protested that it was a Christian religious symbol. Christianparents complained, and the matter made headlines in the Los AngelesTimes. After commenting on the matter, Rabbi Steven Silver of TempleMenorah, a Reform synagogue in Redondo Beach, received a few piecesof hate mail. But Silver and others said that the media blew thematter out of proportion.

Membership of the Manhattan Country Club, which once had fewJewish names, is now, by some counts, about 20 percent Jewish. “Iused to joke that I could get a minyan easier there than at thetemple,” Rabbi Mark Hyman of Congregation Tifereth Jacob in ManhattanBeach says.

A much more serious concern for South Bay rabbis is the highdegree of intermarriage — about 75 percent, by some estimates. “It’snot simply a reality of the South Bay. It’s a reality of wherever welive,” says Beth-El’s Rabbi David Lieb, whose 75-year-old temple issaid to be the area’s oldest. Lieb doesn’t officiate at mixedmarriages, but Beth-El, like other area synagogues welcomes mixedcouples and their children. “My agenda is to get their children inour religious school,” he says. Of the 30 families with children inthe temple preschool, at least half are products of mixed marriages,Lieb estimates.

Lack of Infrastructure

The lack of Jewish infrastructure is still a pressing problem inthe South Bay. Each synagogue has to create its own Jewish services,then reach out to the community. Menorah has tried to do that byadding a day school, a summer camp, adult and senior programs, andchavurot. Ner Tamid, in the first phase of a $5 million expansion, isadding a youth center, a community center and an industrial kosherkitchen. “This congregation functions as its own JCC. We do sobecause there’s no other JCC,” Shulman says.

Building a stronger communal presence in the South Bay has beenthe primary goal of the reconfigured Jewish Federation Council-SouthBay Council. Formerly known as the Southern Region, it wasreorganized two years ago, shortly after the demise of the area’sJewish Community Center. (Over the years, the JCC, which had put onan annual festival and other community events, had lost support andmoney.)

In general, there was a need for the Federation to attract new,more active leadership, as well as do outreach to the vast numbers ofunaffiliated Jews in the area, says Most, the director. “We needed tobuild in some functions that would be responsive to the community,”Most says. “That wasn’t there before.”

In an unusual move, Most was given funds to hire a part-timecommunity program coordinator, Marsha Rothpan, whose job included notjust the usual fund raising but outreach and organizing to help bringthe diverse community together.

Together with Most and an active group of lay people, Rothpan, whohas since moved on to another Federation position, initiated severalcommunity-building festivals, lectures and Shabbat dinners. Now, Mostis planning a gala celebration of Israel’s 50th anniversary for April26 at the Torrance Civic Center with the help of area synagogues, anda South Bay contingent led by Shulman and Eva Piken will join theFederation’s 50th-anniversary mission to Israel this November. All ofthis, Most says, is breathing new life into the South Bay Jewishcommunity.

Tu B’ Shevat festival participants.

Spirit of Cooperation

What helps, she added, is the unusual spirit of cooperation amongthe rabbis at the area’s four major synagogues: Ner Tamid, TempleBeth-El, Temple Menorah and Congregation Tifereth Jacob. In thissmall, spread-out community, the rabbis all know and seem to likeeach other, although they sometimes compete for members. There aretwo other South Bay synagogues: B’nai Tikvah, a Conservativecongregation in Westchester, and Southwest Temple Beth Torah, a smallConservative shul in Gardena with a part-time cantor and a fiercelyloyal but dwindling group of congregants. In the spirit ofcooperation, CTJ and Temple Beth Torah sometimes hold joint Shabbatservices. A $2,000 Federation grant will fund a joint teachereducation program at area synagogues.

There may not be kosher restaurants, a JCC or a Skirball, butthere is Jewish Family Services, Hadassah and B’nai B’rith chapters,a day school and two Jewish summer camps. And there are growingnumbers of places to find perfectly palatable challah and bagels.There are even a few kosher bakeries and a Jewish deli.

As for the future of the South Bay Jewish community, many just seeit getting stronger — with its nontraditional underpinning nobarrier to growth. The lack of an entrenched, multigenerationalJewish community makes the community all the more exciting, saysCTJ’s Rabbi Hyman.

“This is the first generation residing in this neighborhood. Noone’s grandparents lived here,” he says. “I’d rather be in theprocess of building Jewish memories and traditions than reflecting onthe past.”

Above, Eva Piken and Rabbi Ronald Shulman, South Bay Mission toIsrael co-chairs.

A ‘Con-surf-ative’ Shul

Rabbi Mark Hyman Photo by Jefferson Graham

When we moved to Manhattan Beach a year ago, our realtor, alongtime local resident — and a Jew, as it turned out — assured methat there were not only plenty of Jews in the South Bay, but therewas a lovely haimish synagogue to which he belonged. I mightwant to check it out, he said. He called it “Con-surf-ative” –Conservative with a relaxed attitude apropos for a congregation justa few blocks from the Pacific.

Located in part of an old elementary school near a wooded ravinein Manhattan Beach, Congregation Tifereth Jacob, or CTJ, attracts adiverse membership of about 150 families, ranging from liberal Reformwho border on secular, to traditional Conservative. Rabbi Mark Hyman– Rabbi Mark to most — is a “great guy,” our realtor told us, with,until recently, a part-time travel business, a taste for vintageCadillacs and, as I found out later, a deep-rooted desire to buildhis little “beach” shul into a more respected and visible Jewishentity, while still retaining its appeal to the broad spectrum ofJews in the South Bay.

Indeed, speaking the language of the surfing and skateboarding setwhile somehow bringing an awareness and love of Judaism into people’slives — even those who didn’t think they had much use for it — isRabbi Mark’s goal. Bearded and down-to-earth, with a yarmulke and asmile, he’s aiming to be a new kind of rabbi for a new kind of Jew.”You’ve got to dance a lot of steps,” he told me.

Hyman joined CTJ in 1979, when it had only a few families, nopermanent rabbi and a member-run school. After the rabbi who washired by the temple to work part time opted to take a job inStockholm instead, Rabbi Mark, who had attended rabbinical school butstopped short of ordination (he is now pursuing that goal at theZiegler School of Rabbinic Studies at the University of Judaism),stepped up to the bimah. “I was real rusty at first,” he said. But hesoon warmed to the task, which, for a while,
involved serving asrabbi, cantor and school director.

When Rabbi Mark was hired in 1987, the congregation had only 45families. Now, with more than triple that number, it’s stillvolunteer-driven; almost everybody serves on some board or other.Like other South Bay shuls, CTJ has a high number of intermarriedcouples — about a quarter of the congregation, of which about halfof the non-Jewish spouses have converted. Outreach to families,whether intermarried or not, is an important function of the temple,Hyman said.

CTJ also has a growing school, with about 120 children, and,starting this summer, a full-time director of education and programs,Debi Rowe.

Most importantly, for the first time in recent years, CTJ hasfinally acquired a permanent facility on Sepulveda Boulevard. It willleave its current location by September.

“We’re acknowledging the temple’s inevitable growth and need togrow more,” the rabbi said. “We’ve been a kind of poor cousin downhere because we didn’t have the physical visibility.”

As for my family, after attending a chavurah event on the beach,we decided to join CTJ. And while we’re happy about its new home, myson, Sam, and his friends Matt and Al will definitely miss chasingeach other, with yarmulkes askew, up and down the wooded slopesbehind the school.

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