When a guy — let\’s say me, for the sake of argument — is lacking a romantic partner, every bit of attention I get from any woman, even a complete stranger, takes on heightened significance and pleasure. Because I don\’t have a wife, girlfriend or lover, a simple smile from any woman passing me on the street is very likely to be the only, and certainly the most intimate, female contact I can expect all day.
Geography of Romance: A course dealing with the best places to meet your romantic partner. Certain locales lend themselves to greater relationship success — churches and temples, the homes of friends and relatives, bookstores, supermarkets, restaurants, parks and beaches. Other places tend to be riskier — prison, tattoo parlors, methamphetamine labs, mosh pits, wife-swapping parties, Chuck E. Cheese restaurants, gatherings of arms dealers.
OK, I\’ll be absolutely honest — I spent this past New Year\’s Eve alone. Sure, I could have salvaged the situation with a round of frantic last-minute calling, but I never got around to it because I had to go and get into a fight. Fortunately, I was the only one who got hurt. You see, I picked a fight with myself. And on New Year\’s Eve day, no less. Almost out of nowhere and with virtually no warning, I started in on myself.
As far as I know, there are no such things as federal laws pertaining to dating. Oh, sure, there was that book \”The Rules,\” a few years back, but those weren\’t federal laws; those were simply man-made, or rather, woman-made rules or suggestions. As to why there are no federal laws governing dating — that\’s a no-brainer.
I know you\’re not gonna believe this, but before Internet dating sites, couples actually used to meet \”offline\” — out in public — often by chance: at parties, dances, supermarkets, museums, bookstores. No, really! But like the Tyrannosaurus rex, the Edsel automobile and Steven Segal\’s career, offline dating is seemingly on its way to extinction. Oh, sure, a few couples occasionally meet offline, as God intended, in the course of their daily lives, much like our pioneer ancestors, but they\’re just lucky and we resent them. Just because they didn\’t have to pay $25 a month, post a photo, write a profile and proceed to meet hundreds of people with whom they felt less chemistry than Dick Cheney and Barbra Streisand on a tunnel of love ride, must they rub their joy in our faces?
More and more singles are meeting via Internet dating sites. There\’s gotta be a reason for that.
OK, so if you\’re rejected, perhaps your self-esteem takes a little hit. If you\’re rejected a lot, perhaps it gets bruised. And if you experience nothing but rejection, maybe your self-esteem ends up in the trauma ward of Love General Hospital. But enough about my pain.
Being together day after day for 14 years sadly lost its luster.
Dating a woman in Los Angeles can be an expensive proposition. But must it be one?
Back in high school, I had a crush on a Protestant girl, Joan Reid. She told me that her mother encouraged her to date — and even marry — Jewish guys because: a) They\’re smarter and work harder; b) They make great fathers; c) They don\’t get drunk and beat you.
One of the greatest mysteries in my life, besides how to program my Tivo, is why it\’s taking me so long to meet my soulmate.
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