Because in today\’s modern world, a guy and a girl looking for love can make plans, rush home from work, wash extra carefully in certain areas, put on nice clothes, spend three hours in flirtatious conversation at the local sushi joint, say a warm good night and still come home wondering whether what they just experienced was a date or two people who wanted to be on a date but were instead simply \”hanging out.\”
If you spend much time looking at online dating profiles — and admit it, you do — you\’ll notice that the No. 1 characteristic men seem to be seeking in a potential match is \”attractive.\” We women (attractive or not) are overwhelmingly in search of \”sensitive.\” For us, Mr. Right is Mr. Sensitive.
No disrespect to our mothers, but courtship rituals have changed since they were dating. So forget all their antiquated rules.
My friend Dan recently complained about his move from Washington, D.C. to Manhattan. He wasn\’t annoyed by the tiny apartments or smelly subways. Instead, he said that when he switched his JDate location to New York, all the women he corresponded with were voting for Bush.
Yom Kippur reminds me of the time I spent in couples counseling with a serious boyfriend. My boyfriend believed he could be cruel or invasive or dishonest, but as long as he copped to his \”sins\” once a week, he\’d be absolved (especially if he used bogus touchy-feely phrases like \”I\’m sorry you feel that way,\” \”I validate your experience,\” and \”I respect your boundaries\”).
\”Shanda: The Making and Breaking of a Self-Loathing Jew\” by Neal Karlen (Touchstone, $23). Like Bob Dylan a decade before him, writer Neal Karlen turned up on Rabbi Manis Friedman\’s doorstep in St. Paul, Minn., in desperate search of his soul.
Late one night, I was giving my friend Ethan a detailed play-by-play of my date when he made a frightening observation: \”You don\’t have many close female friends in town anymore, do you?\”
I asked a young woman in a T-shirt that read, \”Psycho Bitch\” why she\’d want to wear that.
\”It\’s empowering!\” she replied, in a tone that left the \”I mean, like, duh\” hanging in the air.
It\’s hard enough being single, but listening to those Valentine\’s Day gift-buying countdowns feels a lot like being Jewish and unable to participate in Christmas. So what if there are just five shopping days left before Feb. 14? It\’s like St. Valentine took over St. Nick\’s body, and now the whole coupled country is in another mall-bound tizzy. Maybe it\’s sour grapes, but I don\’t get all the hoopla.
Does the grand romantic gesture really pay off?
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