Enough?

Eskimos have 9 words for ‘snow.’
And the Zulus have numerous words for the color ‘green.’
So it should come as no surprise that the Jews have several words for ‘to make a dream come true.’

See, “l’hagshim” is for when a proper dreamt-of-dream manifests.
“L’mamesh,” is used when one realizes one’s self.
And then another word, “l’kayem” articulates the realization of an idea, a plan, or a promise.
…And that only covers up to level gimmel in ulpan.

Dreaming and the realization of those dreams is the through line of the Jewish people, of Israel, of Israelis. “If you will it, it is no dream,” Theodore Herzl said, as he envisioned a Jewish state. Historically, famously and sometimes begrudgingly, we are a people of visionaries, dreamers, thinkers and creators. And to only have one word for ‘to make a dream come true’ – well, that’s just ineffective. So, in our language, Hebrew, both our experience and our selves are expressed.

I too am a dreamer. I dreamt of coming to Israel to learn Hebrew and live in the land since I was a young lady. It took a long time, but my dream came true. As with anything, if you think too much in advance, expectations can grow, often creating fertile ground for disappointment. The longer the anticipation, the more elaborate the conjectures. So imagine how high my expectations were for this adventure? I’d thought of it for over a decade. “I’ll learn the language and live in the most special place on earth!” Yup, that could be a set up. So, picture the swell in my chest and lump in my throat now, as I write with utter appreciation and complete gratitude that being here has exceeded every imagining I could have imagined. And now the time to leave draws near.

Stay! Go! Don’t go! Go and come back! The debate within me rages. Being in Israel is more than a vacation. It’s a return to yourself on numerous levels. Those who move to Israel are said to make “Aliyah”- which literally means they ‘go up.’ So that means leaving Israel is, let’s face it, going down. That’s not just a saying –it feels that way, like you’re moving from high to…well…less high.

On the one hand, I’m excited to go back to the States. I desperately miss my family, my friends, my dog, Feivel Flapjack. I miss certain conveniences. Practically, work awaits. And isn’t 5 months enough?

But that is a trick question if there ever was one. What is ‘enough?’ There is no objective ‘enough.’ Enough is when we say it’s enough. Sometimes I have a sense of what that is, as in: “Does he have ‘enough’ good qualities that I can build a future with him?” And sometimes I don’t, as in: “$X is ‘enough’ money.” But ‘enough,’ in and of itself, just doesn’t exist. It definitely doesn’t when it comes to time in Israel.

Slichot erev Yom Kippur, in the Old City, I looked out over the Kotel, from atop a nearby building to witness a biblical scene. Past midnight, wall-to-wall people milled, bustled, exalted and prayed, the energy something from another world. The hair on my arms prickled. “This is what Mount Sinai looked like,” I thought to myself in disbelief.

When has one had ‘enough’ of being part of the prophecy?

Post-Yom Kippur, no time wasted, all of Yerushalayim began building – sukkahs. Look up, sukkahs grew out of every meerpeset (balcony); look down onto Ben Yehuda, they lined the street, look out into every neighborhood, pomegranates hung from thatched roofs. Look anywhere – this is what belonging looks like.

When has one had ‘enough’ of not having to explain? Had ‘enough’ of being home?

Near Yam Hamelach (the Dead Sea), Idan Raichel performed in Nahal Zohar. Appearing as though he and his company organically grew out of the epic setting amid ancient cliffs lit in mystical blues and enchanting purples – truly putting Madison Square Garden to shame – they sang and danced, Jews of every color, freely and completely expressed and expressing.

When has one had ‘enough’ magic?

There is no such thing as ‘enough!’ something inside me screams as I watch children speaking Hebrew, playing in Jerusalem’s streets and splashing in Tel Aviv’s waves.

But, these gifts are not free (as Michael Oren enumerated beautifully