November 17, 2018

Dating 101: Lies & Shorts

I had an interesting dating weekend. By interesting of course I mean I am one step closer to another cat. My dating life is tragic. Tragic and hilarious. While I’d like to think it is because I simply date the wrong men for me, I cannot help but wonder if it is fact me. How is it possible for one woman to have such bad luck when dating? What am I putting out into the world to attract these men? The bottom line is dating sucks and it’s not me.

I met a man online last week. We emailed one time and exchanged phone numbers.  We made plans to meet for drinks and dinner on Saturday night. I really liked him. He was a beautiful writer, had gorgeous blue eyes, and a lot of stories. I like people who have stories and experiences. As I prepared for the date I was not only NOT nervous, I was actually excited to spend time with him, which is unusual. I usually feel quite sick before going on a date.

I walked into the bar and as soon as I say him my heart sank a bit. I shook it off because I’ve learned that at this stage of life people are often dishonest about basic things in order to appear more attractive. It is silly and stupid because it makes them liars right from the start. I suppose they’re simply trying, so there must be kindness. He said he was 5’11”, but was 5’8”. He said he was 58, but was clearly in his mid 60’s. He also said he never lies. Okay. He was drowning in half truths.

When we spoke on the phone he told me about his work, but in person his story kept changing. He went from having sold a script, to trying to sell it. He went from having met a celebrity, to having actually met the celebrity’s son. He was trying to keep it together, but lost his grasp of what he was saying and it unraveled. The lies were piling up and he quickly became pathetic. What he said on the phone was not at all grounded in truth. It was almost funny.

I hope people lie from a place of loneliness not a desire to deceive, but that hope can occasionally be hard to hold onto. Not only did he lie, but he lied about things that would be obvious the moment we met, which makes him not only a liar, but stupid. It is disrespectful to me, to himself, and at the end of the day a waste of time, and getting ready for a date takes time! I won’t be seeing him again. Hopefully he found his way home as he forgets things.

The second man was equally disappointing more. We were recently matched with on a dating app and he looked really familiar. I felt like I knew him, but didn’t know from where. I didn’t want to respond to him until I remembered who he was, then it came to me. He had reached out to me a couple of years ago. We spoke 2 or 3 times and made plans to meet for a drink. He had 2 young kids so his time was limited and the date was set for a week later.

Before I had even starting talking to this man, I had made a plan to meet another man for drinks. I was getting ready for that date when he happened to call. I let him know I was meeting up for a drink and would call him on my way home. He wanted to know who I was meeting. I mentioned it was a fix up. Not to rub in I was seeing someone else, but because it was the truth. I did not know this man, and it didn’t seem like a big deal, so I was honest.

He became very offended I would go out with someone else. He said I was disrespectful and abruptly hung up on me. I never heard from him again. Important to note I texted him to explain the date had been set up before we started talking, but he never responded. Cut to him reaching out again this week, and my reminding him about what happened when we last spoke. He said he didn’t remember hanging up on me and apologized. I don’t think so.

When we spoke on the phone he eventually admitted to “vaguely” remembering me and his hanging up. We chatted a couple of times and he was lovely. He said he was going through a lot in his life then, and perhaps it was as simple as our timing being off. He suggested everything happens for a reason and we were not meant to be then, but found ourselves connecting now, because now was the time. It was sweet and romantic and I appreciated the effort.

Here’s the thing though, when somebody shows you who they are, believe them the first time. We chatted and texted for a few days and decided we’d meet for a drink and see if there was a connection. In one of our text chats, while talking about our upcoming first date, we somehow got onto the topic of gym shorts. He was buying a new pair, and said he would wear them when we met. I joked that he might want to rethink shorts on a first date. It was funny.

He then got upset and texted something about being a New Yorker, he is who he is, I need to accept him, and gym shorts on a first date is totally cool. That was on Saturday, we had plans on Sunday, but I never heard back from him. Not a word. It makes me laugh. From where I’m sitting the man has issues, and unless we are going to the gym, or a hike on a first date, don’t wear gym shorts. It is just not proper first date over cocktails dress. Ever.

Important to note that I live in the valley and it is freaking hot, so of course shorts are fine. That said, there are nice shorts and there are gym sorts. It is gym shorts that I take issue with, before someone writes that I am uptight and judging. I am going to Canada for the weekend. Thrilling to be home with my family, and thrilling to not have a date. Dating is hard. It is also fun, exciting, and exhausting, so when dating one must focus on keeping the faith.

Sarkozy calls Netanyahu ‘a liar’ in private conversation with Obama

French President Nicolas Sarkozy branded Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu “a liar” in a private conversation with U.S. President Barack Obama that was accidentally broadcast to journalists during last week’s G20 summit in Cannes.

“I cannot bear Netanyahu, he’s a liar,” Sarkozy told Obama, unaware that the microphones in their meeting room had been switched on, enabling reporters in a separate location to listen in to a simultaneous translation.

“You’re fed up with him, but I have to deal with him even more often than you,” Obama replied, according to the French interpreter.

The technical gaffe is likely to cause great embarrassment to all three leaders as they look to work together to intensify international pressure on Iran over its nuclear ambitions.

The conversation was not initially reported by the small group of journalists who overheard it because it was considered private and off-the-record. But the comments have since emerged on French websites and can be confirmed by Reuters.

White House press secretary Jay Carney declined to comment on the conversation when asked by reporters traveling with Obama to an event in Philadelphia.

Obama’s apparent failure to defend Netanyahu is likely to be leapt on by his Republican foes, who are looking to unseat him in next year’s presidential election and have portrayed him as hostile to Israel, Washington’s closest ally in the region.

Pushing Netanyahu risks alienating Israel’s strong base of support among the U.S. public and in Congress.

Netanyahu’s office declined to comment, but one of his deputies, Vice Premier Silvan Shalom, played down the episode.

“Everyone talks about everyone. Sometimes even good friends say things about each other, certainly in such competitive professions,” Shalom, a former foreign minister and rival of Netanyahu in the rightist Likud party, told Israel’s Army Radio.

“So you have to consider the main things. Is Obama a friend of Israel? Is Sarkozy a friend of Israel? Is their policy a consistent policy of support for Israel? The answer to all of these questions is affirmative and, as far as I’m concerned, that is what’s important.”

PALESTINIAN WORRIES

Obama and Netanyahu have had a rocky relationship as U.S. efforts to broker a Middle East peace deal have foundered, with the U.S. president openly criticizing Jewish settlement building in the occupied Palestinian territories.

It was unclear why exactly Sarkozy had criticized Netanyahu. However, European diplomats have largely blamed Israel for the breakdown in peace talks and have expressed anger over Netanyahu’s approval of large-scale settlement building.

During their bilateral meeting on November 3, on the sidelines of the Cannes summit, Obama criticized Sarkozy’s surprise decision to vote in favor of a Palestinian request for membership of the U.N. cultural heritage agency UNESCO.

“I didn’t appreciate your way of presenting things over the Palestinian membership of UNESCO. It weakened us. You should have consulted us, but that is now behind us,” Obama was quoted as saying.

The October 31 UNESCO vote marked a success for the Palestinians in their broader thrust for recognition as a sovereign state in the U.N. system—a unilateral initiative fiercely opposed by Israel and the United States.

As a result of the vote, Washington was compelled to halt its funding for UNESCO under a 1990s law that prohibits Washington from giving money to any U.N. body that grants membership to groups that do not have full, legal statehood.

Obama told Sarkozy that he was worried about the impact if Washington had to pull funding from other U.N. bodies such as the U.N. Food and Agriculture Organization and the IAEA nuclear watchdog if the Palestinians gained membership there.

“You have to pass the message along to the Palestinians that they must stop this immediately,” Obama said.

The day the conversation took place, the Palestinians announced that they would not seek membership of any other U.N. agency.

Sarkozy confirmed that France would not take any unilateral decisions when the U.N. Security Council discusses a Palestinian membership request, a debate expected later this month.

“I am with you on that,” Obama replied.

Writing by Crispian Balmer; Additional reporting by Dan Williams; Editing by Andrew Roche

ADL calls Sarkozy-Obama exchange ‘unpresidential’

The Anti-Defamation League called a reported exchange between French President Nicolas Sarkozy and President Obama disparaging Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu “decidedly unpresidential.”

According to reports of their conversation at the Nov. 3 G20 summit in Cannes, which was overheard by reporters via an open microphone, the French president said, “I cannot bear Netanyahu, he’s a liar.” Obama reportedly replied, “You’re fed up with him, but I have to deal with him every day.”

“President Obama’s response to Mr. Sarkozy implies that he agrees with the French leader,” ADL National Director Abraham Foxman said in a statement issued Tuesday. “In light of the revelations here, we hope that the Obama Administration will do everything it can to reassure Israel that the relationship remains on a sure footing and to reinvigorate the trust between President Obama and Prime Minister Netanyahu, which clearly is not what it should be.

“What is sad is that we now have to worry to what extent these private views inform foreign policy decisions of the U.S. and France—two singularly important players in the peace process,” he said.

The Arret sur Images website said Sarkozy was responding to Obama’s concern that the French leader had not warned him about France’s surprise vote in favor of Palestinian UNESCO membership. The website also reported that Obama asked Sarkozy to try to “convince” the Palestinians to slow down their bid for U.N. membership.

“You have to pass the message along to the Palestinians that they must stop this immediately,” Obama said of the membership bid, according to Reuters.

Sarkozy confirmed that France would not take any unilateral decisions during the forthcoming Security Council debate on the subject.

“I am with you on that,” Obama replied, according to Reuters.

AFP and Reuters both confirmed the initial Arret sur Images report, and AFP reported that it interviewed several journalists who said they heard the private conversation right before a joint news conference by the two leaders.

Several journalists overheard the exchange, which was captured by a live microphone unbeknownest to the two leaders, but it was not immediately reported.

According to Arret sur Images, Obama and Sarkozy were speaking in a room equipped with microphones normally used to facilitate translation during public speaking. An event organizer did not distribute the headphones typically used to connect to the translation boxes, but several journalists plugged in their own earphones and could hear some three minutes at the end of the conversation.