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Sunday, September 27, 2020

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haiku

Satyrs are Real and other Haiku

And he shall effect atonement upon the Holy of Holies No-one wants to think about Yom Kippur in the middle of a plague. Azazel - fallen angel – We’re...

7 haiku for Parsha Vezot Hab’rachah in which everything ends and begins again by Rick Lupert

7 haiku for Parsha Vezot Hab’rachah in which everything ends and begins again by Rick Lupert

7 Haiku for Parsha Ha’azinu (in which arrows and swords drink like pirates) by Rick Lupert

7 Haiku for Parsha Ha’azinu (in which arrows and swords drink like pirates) by Rick Lupert

7 haiku for Parsha Nitzavim (in which the Jewish people have a dance party with God) by Rick Lupert

I A deal is brokered between God and those standing here – and those long gone II Choose wisely – this deal applies not only to you but to your children III God...

7 Haiku for Parsha Ki Tavo (in which God and the Jewish people ‘make it official’) by Rick Lupert

7 Haiku for Parsha Ki Tavo (in which God and the Jewish people ‘make it official’) by Rick Lupert

Seven haiku for Parsha Ki Teitzei (you’ll need an extra bag for all these laws) by Rick Lupert

Seven haiku for Parsha Ki Teitzei (you’ll need an extra bag for all these laws) by Rick Lupert

7 Haiku for Parsha Shoftim (in which we treat trees better than our enemies) by Rick Lupert

I Worship an idol be put to death. These are the laws of our people. II A king shall write two Torah scrolls in his life. No mention of a queen. III Priests...

7 Haiku for Parsha Re’eh (in which we’re reminded where our tushies need to go) by Rick Lupert

I Blessings or curses – Choose your mountain carefully You only get one II Your intention when slaughtering a cow matters and the location III Your voodoo doesn’t matter if you don’t come with divine...

7 Haiku for Parsha Eikev (in which our foot owns land just by stepping on it) by Rick Lupert

I If I’m a good boy You’ll bless my womb’s fruit – of course I don’t have a womb II Who’s the Cat who took care of everything? You! Yeah You...

7 Haiku for Parsha Va’etchanan (in which Moses gets to look but no touch) by Rick Lupert

7 Haiku for Torah Portion Va’etchanan by Rick Lupert (in which Moses gets to look but not touch)

7 Haiku For Parsha Devarin (We men love our maps) by Rick Lupert

I Holy Land across the river – Thirty-seven days left with Moses II Seeking smarty pants Israelites to hire in top positions III Reminded of the extra forty years because we were so evil IV I think...

7 haiku for Torah Portion Pinchas by Rick Lupert (Is it Kosher if I tune my guitar?)

I After the foibles of the Midianites – time to do some smitin' II Nothing stops us from making babies – Over six hundred thousand now III Plots are divided We all get a...

7 Haiku for Parsha Balak by Rick Lupert (Ohmygod a talking donkey!)

I Meanwhile the king of Moab tries to hire a wizard to curse us II The wizard agrees to go – but only nice words will leap from his tongue III A talking...

7 haiku for Parsha Chukat (The Red Cow Cures All) by Rick Lupert

I It just takes one dose of perfectly red cow to cure what ails you II Forty years go by – What happened during those years was not written down III You can...

7 haiku for Parsha Korach (my almond blossoms are bigger than yours) by Rick Lupert

I Moses heard and fell on his face, it says – It was all very slapstick II The future will be decided on the scent of rebellious incense III Does killing all...

7 haiku for parsha Shelach (it’s our own personal fringe festival) by Rick Lupert

I Spy instructions: Check out the land we may invade – Also, bring back fruit II Any excuse to go back to Egypt – Life was hard but familiar III Once again God...

7 haiku for parsha Beha’alotcha by Rick Lupert (Apparently you can have too much quail)

I All the things in place. Levites shaved head to toe. Time to leave the mountain II Now the Levites are hallowed, because the first born built a golden calf III Oh good,...

7 haiku for parsha Naso by Rick Lupert (in which everyone brings the same gift to the party)

Bonus introductory Haiku Kick back with some wine unless you’re a Nazir – This the longest Parsha I And so forever the Gershonites will carry the curtains around II Numbers from last week spill...

7 Haiku for Parsha Tzav (where the priests learn to love meat) by Rick Lupert

I Before anything clean the ashes up from the altar. Day begins. II Don’t forget to tip your priest well. They can’t live on all this meat alone. III In case I wasn’t clear...

7 Haiku for Parsha Vayikra (in which your sin is dealt with) by Rick Lupert

I Any good book starts with a long discussion of animal innards. II A fistful of fine flour – we’ve come so far in how we measure things. III Deep fried, gluten free, and...

7 Haiku for Parsha Tetzaveh by Rick Lupert

I If you’ve seen Raiders of the Lost Ark. A lot of this is familiar. II Four rows of three stones one for each tribe. Beware the Breastplate of Judgement III If you...

Haikus for Jews

Don\'t let the unfunny introduction to \"Haikus for Jews\" (Harmony Books, $11) fool you.

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