August 22, 2019

The Unbearable Cuteness of Netflix on Twitter

“YOU’RE SCROLLING THROUGH TWITTER, minding your own business, and then you see it—that fucking ubiquitous red “N”—and you know you should ignore it, but you have to stop and read what it says:

“How can I paste this @brielarson video to my vision board?”

You don’t know why at first, but your hands clench. Annoyance surfaces in your skin, with hints of secondhand embarrassment and even a little outright anger—a nice, long German word would be so helpful right about now, you think. Regaining composure, you mouth the words, “Fucking Netflix,” as you quickly DM the tweet to a friend for some quality dunking and the sweet relief of knowing you’re not alone, not crazy, not yet. It’s not the cloying nature of the tweet—though it is cloying—nor is it the reference to a “vision board”—though seriously, what the fuck? It’s the principle of the thing that gets you. The way this corporate Twitter account worms its way into people’s hearts with silly memes and even sillier jokes, using its simulated personality—because a brand can’t have a damn personality—to put a smiling face on a corporation’s domineering agenda.”

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