January 16, 2019

Inside the Terrible Christmas Movie Industry

“Imagine a world like the inside of a snow globe, where a dusting of impossibly pristine white snow is always falling, layer after layer, never turning into sad, grey-colored slush. There are wreaths, strings of lights, and stockings literally everywhere you turn. Pretty people with matching impossibly white smiles are falling in love with each other even if they only sort of know each other. At least half of them are royalty, hailing from a European country that almost sounds real. Oh, look: there’s a jolly old dude who looks like he’s up to something or just being really nosy.

Sound familiar? You’re probably watching a deliciously cheesy holiday movie on Netflix, or Hallmark, or Lifetime, or any number of TV networks or streaming platforms. ‘Tis the season.

Christmas movies have become so popular that networks like Lifetime and Hallmark, the O.G. for wholesome, family-friendly viewing, now begin their merry marathons way before December 25. Hallmark kicked off its two-month (two-month!) holiday programming on October 26—before nary a trick-or-treater knocked on a door—with Christmas at Pemberley Manor, a riff on Pride and Prejudice.”

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