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“Responding to a Piers Morgan tweet is always a bad idea, because it’s exactly what he wants. The man spends his entire life spurting all manner of convictionless takes up into the atmosphere, purely because he gets to gleefully slurp up all the negative energy they create, like a donkey trying to get the last drop of custard from the trough.
But sometimes it’s unavoidable. Sometimes the deafening crack of Piers Morgan’s brittle masculinity is too loud for even the most stoic among us to ignore. And so it was yesterday, when Morgan tweeted a picture of Daniel Craig carrying his newborn baby in a sling, hooting: “Oh 007.. not you as well?!!! #papoose #emasculatedBond” in accompaniment.”
Now, there’s quite a lot to unpack here. It’s probably best for everyone if I just did a numbered list of my grievances.
1. James Bond is an alcoholic rapist in a girdle. Maybe let’s not use him as a role model for our parenting ideals, eh?
2. Also, that isn’t James Bond, Piers. That’s Daniel Craig, an actor who plays James Bond in some films. This misunderstanding of the basic concept of fiction is nothing less than tragic. If you ever see Piers Morgan on the street, yelling at a car because it won’t change into a Transformer, please don’t be scared. Give him a hot drink, put a blanket around his shoulders and call his carer, Susanna Reid.
3. James Bond would totally wear a baby sling.”
JJ Editor's Daily Picks
"The biggest topic in British political circles on Monday wasn’t the country’s impending departure from the European Union. It was milkshakes..."
"I often disagree with Rep. Justin Amash, R-Mich., but I've been disturbed by the idea that he should be run out of the Republican Party just because he believes President Trump committed impeachable offenses."
"The Icelandic band Hatari, whose members are quite vocal in their animosity towards Israel, held up Palestinian flags... Madonna, likewise, had two of her performers wear Israeli and Palestinian flags on their costumes."
"To celebrate the 10-year anniversary of Quentin Tarantino's "Inglourious Basterds" premiering at the Cannes Film Festival, I turn to movie critic Roger Ebert's old review of "Raiders of the Lost Ark." (Trust me on this one.)"
"The money is already here—and has been for years. In the midst of a housing crisis, an injection of cash into the superheated real-estate market seems likely to cause an uptick in evictions and displacement."
"Parents concerned about YouTube debate whether to let their children have their own channels; some forbid it, others send them to summer camp..."
"‘I Had Completely Lost the Knack for Staying Alive..." Warmer weather brings daffodils, rhubarb at the farmer’s market — and, for some, despair."
"With his new book, Howard Stern proves that his rightful place is among the prophets and moral visionaries, not the ‘shock jocks’"
"I’m terrified of parenting in the anti-vaxxer age: Anti-vaccine propaganda isn’t just harmful to children. It threatens to erode our entire sense of community."
"...doctors are starting to think more about specific nutrients that feed tumor cells. That is, how what we eat affects how cancers grow..."
"...it represents an impressive achievement: a victory of humankind against the chaos that pervades the universe."
"If trends continue, in 20 years the majority of the world’s Jews will be living in Israel. The United States will see a continuing decline in overall numbers, with a growing observant Jewish population..."