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“Six months after her divorce, Jo Carter, a project manager at a university in Madison, Wisconsin, thought she was ready to date. She had married her high-school prom date a year after graduating from college, and they were together for 19 years before splitting up. “So I’m newly divorced at 41, and I haven’t been on a date with someone new since I was 20, maybe,” she says. “And the dating scene is a little different now.” So she did what many people these days do—she made an online-dating profile on OkCupid.
“But partway through the process, my gut just said no, and I panicked and canceled my account in a huff,” says Carter, now 49. “Someone said something like, ‘Hey, you’re into crosswords, I’m into crosswords too; maybe we could get together and do the crossword some morning.’ And I was clawing at the keyboard in a panic to make this go away. I just sat there looking at my computer thinking, What just happened here?”
What happened, she thinks now, is that even if she was telling herself she was ready for a new relationship, she really wasn’t. “The story I told myself was: I’ve been divorced for six months; it’s time to get back out there. But there was a whole lot going on in my brain that I may not have been consciously aware of.”
JJ Editor's Daily Picks
"With many other countries already studying the Asian playbook, the United States and Europe could benefit from doing the same."
"Trump's cursing is one of the most straightforward parts of his appeal... Trump is not the only politician whose profanity has stood him in good stead."
"‘If we get all of this because Netanyahu wants to make Trump happy, that’s fine with us,’ says local council rep in Golan Heights as plans ramp up for ‘new’ neighborhood honoring U.S. president..."
"...there is something worth paying attention to in this latest petition from fans keen to have a creative work made the way that they want it. The comments on the petition are instructive."
"The sunny job numbers and steady growth hide the fact that most people think the economy works only for people in power."
"Like many other Americans, I now wear AirPods all day at my desk to combat the awful tyranny of the open office. Since they don’t cancel noise, they provide me with writing music..."
"The logic of attributing mental states to nonhuman animals is complicated. We cannot use deductive inference, because there are no general rules..."
"As the canon of English literature slowly, gradually opens itself up to books by women and authors of color, Modern Library and Penguin Classics have just launched two new series..."
"Egalitarian couples assume their progressive ideology will carry the day. Sociologists know that it doesn’t.... sharing child care is associated with valuing gender equality..."
"Business Booms for Sephardic Food: Women are leading the way as small businesses bring traditional recipes to the commercial marketplace..."
"With most animal populations, the niches that encase the populations are of constant size. Animal societies growing in a given niche have dynamics neatly fitted by equations with a constant limit or ceiling."
"Now some 200,000 Jews live in Germany, a nation of 82 million people, and many are increasingly fearful.... 85 percent of respondents in Germany characterized anti-Semitism as a “very big” or “fairly big” problem..."