By Andy Besser
For the first 36 years of my life I was pretty much running amok. Without a plan for life, I was self-will run wild, doing as I pleased and as I wanted without much real regard for the impact I was having on the world around me, especially on my friends and family. Metaphorically, I was the stone thrown into the pond that was sending out ever increasing circles of drama, chaos, destruction and tears. Thanks to an intervention, I had the opportunity to be reborn into the world of recovery. A world based on the idea that what I had done was not who I am, that I had been sick with the disease of addiction and, most importantly, that there was a solution.
With close to 20 years in recovery, I now consciously think about the kind of ripples I am sending out into the world. To do that I must be mindful of the words and actions I take; I must take and own my part in disagreements; I must forgive; I must let go; I must pause when agitated; I must try to cause no harm; I must have compassion; I must choose self-respect; I must take good care of my body; I must ask for help; and, I must turn my will and my life over to the care of a loving and forgiving higher power, a power which I choose to call G_d.
Not easy work for a man of my inclinations. I had practiced law for 25 years and had felt quite accomplished in obtaining significant amounts of money for my injured clients. However, something was missing. I was not fulfilled. Retiring from law and returning to school I became a certified addiction counselor. I now volunteer 3 days a week at a non-profit recovery center. I have found my calling. My clients are like me, or rather how I was before I found a “solution.” I can relate and empathize. I have never been more fulfilled and I cherish each day's work as an opportunity to be an agent for change – to help change the ripples my clients were making from negative to positive ones.
I have learned that we make a living by what we get, but a life by what we give. To quote Albert Schweitzer “I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve. ” Today, I am grateful to say that I am really happy.
What kind of ripples are you making? How can we turn the ripples of chaos and tears into ripples of light and promise?
More news and opinions than at a Shabbat dinner, right in your inbox.