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January 28, 2025

A Hostage Apart

There is an unending supply of bad news to fill columns like this every week. But today, instead of being discouraged, let’s be inspired. For once, let’s look past the villains and the fools and the knaves, so we can take a moment to salute a genuine hero.

Consider the story of a remarkable young British-Israeli woman, Emily Damari, who was one of the initial three hostages released by Hamas after 471 days in unimaginably brutal captivity. We still worry about how many of the remaining hostages will survive to see their families and loved ones. We still rejoice at the other brave young women who have made it home alive. But Emily’s courage and selflessness stand apart and above.

Emily was awakened early in the morning last Oct. 7, when Hamas terrorists invaded Kfar Aza, a small kibbutz in southern Israel not far from the Gaza border. She was among the hostages abducted, as were her neighbors Keith and Aviva Siegel, the parents of one of her close friends. Aviva was released several weeks later, but Keith, 65 years old and in poor health, remained behind. A video released by Hamas last April was the last evidence of him alive.

News accounts report that when Emily was informed of her release, she asked her captors if her friend’s father could be freed instead. She had been shot in the initial attacks, two of her fingers were amputated under barbaric conditions during her ordeal, and she had not seen her own parents in more than 15 months. Yet she was willing to delay her own freedom so that her neighbor could be reunited with his family and receive necessary medical treatment more quickly.

Her noble offer was refused, and Keith Siegel remains in captivity. But her request does tell his family that he is still alive, a precious piece of information that can help sustain them until he is hopefully released in the near future. For the vast majority of us who cannot imagine suffering through even one day of such a brutal ordeal, it is simply impossible to comprehend the bravery required for this extraordinary woman to volunteer to remain imprisoned. It is small wonder that her Hamas jailers denied her request. Such valor must have been mystifying to them.

Since regaining her freedom, Emily has established herself as a motivational figure throughout Israel. Having lost her ring and middle fingers as a result of injuries suffered when she was abducted, her remaining fingers now resemble the iconic “rock on” emoji familiar to music fans everywhere and have become a symbol of defiance and motivation for the entire nation. This young woman has provided a remarkable gift, not just to Israel and to Jews worldwide, but to everyone who cherishes freedom and cheers the resilience and courage of those who stand up and fight back in the face of evil.

Next week, we can return to the other pressing issues of the day. I will write about the increasingly rickety ceasefire, or maybe the handful of arch-conservatives in the House who have the potential to cause as much trouble for the new president’s Israel agenda as the similarly-sized Squad of progressives did for the last one. We may instead discuss the Senate vote on imposing sanctions on the International Criminal Court for issuing arrest warrants against Israeli officials, which threatens to deepen the divide within the Democratic Party over the Middle East, or possibly the damage that Trump’s out-of-the-blue suggestion about relocating Palestinians to Egypt and Jordan could do to his hopes of expanding the Abraham Accords to include Saudi Arabia.

There is always, and will always be, more than enough news to cause anger, worry, fear or frustration. Starting next week, I promise we will return to all of these vexing topics – and more.

But for just one week, perhaps we can enjoy a story that can make us all happy, even if just for the briefest of moments. Thank you, Emily, for reminding us why we are fighting and for what we are praying.


Dan Schnur is the U.S. Politics Editor for the Jewish Journal. He teaches courses in politics, communications, and leadership at UC Berkeley, USC and Pepperdine. He hosts the monthly webinar “The Dan Schnur Political Report” for the Los Angeles World Affairs Council & Town Hall. Follow Dan’s work at www.danschnurpolitics.com.

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Remembering Kobe, Five Years Later

“When I first saw a social media post on the accident, I hoped it was a mistake or someone’s idea of a sick joke,” Los Angeles Times columnist Steve Lopez wrote in a Jan. 26, 2020 column, “Kobe Bryant was LA — our dreams, our sweat and the drive that unites a far-flung city.”

Lopez wrote, “For a man who devoted so much attention to the detail of his craft, it seemed incomprehensible that he would go down in a helicopter in dense fog on a day when the darkness never lifted. But he did, and the pall that spread across Southern California has traveled around the world.”

Lopez wrote that tribute five years ago this week, on the day that basketball legend Bryant, 41, his 13-year-old daughter, Gianna, and seven others perished in a helicopter crash above the hills of Calabasas. 

Like many Angelenos, I remember where I was that foggy Sunday morning: I was running to the supermarket, and like Lopez, I also thought the news was a mistake. In fact, I first learned that Bryant had died from a text message sent by a close friend in New York. We had grown up together in LA; he still bravely sported his blue Dodgers cap on the streets of Brooklyn and Manhattan. But the sense of loss in his text offered irrefutable truth that he was still LA at heart. That was the unifying power of losing Bryant: Metaphorically, losing him eventually brought all former Angelenos home.

In my weekly column for this paper shortly after Bryant’s death, I described what he meant to the many immigrants and refugees in LA, and how Lakers’ wins, including those magical three-peat wins (three consecutive NBA Championships in 2000, 2001 and 2002) offered us so much confidence — confidence we needed after having arrived in this city with very little. “In the City of Angels, only a few are chosen to fly the way Bryant soared on that basketball court,” I wrote in 2020. “He wasn’t supposed to crash and fall.”

In some ways, Bryant’s death kicked off that miserable year of 2020. Only a couple months after he died, the COVID-19 pandemic erupted worldwide, and some are still reeling from the physical and mental trauma of that dark time. 

During the height of the pandemic, I often wondered how Bryant would have responded to such turmoil. I imagined him coaching Gianna, who showed impressive basketball prowess, at an outdoor court, both wearing masks. Perhaps if anyone could have contracted and beaten COVID, it would have been Bryant. In the end, it was fog that brought down one of our city’s greatest prodigies. 

We could have used Bryant’s famous discipline, resilience and grit during the worst moments of the past five years, including his famous “Mamba mentality” that took the pain of excruciatingly hard work and turned it into our biggest source of strength and pride. “Mamba mentality is all about focusing on the process and trusting in the hard work when it matters most,” he once said. I even have Jewish friends who wished Bryant had been alive after Oct. 7 because he symbolized the very strength and resilience they felt they had lost. 

Like that Mamba snake, the best aspect of Bryant, for me, at least, was his unrelenting pursuit of shedding one’s proverbial skin and pushing toward growth. He made some terrible choices, which left those of us who mourned him with complicated feelings. 

But one of the biggest reasons why I wish Kobe had lived, besides the fact that he was a son, a husband and a father, is because the man had a growth mindset unlike any other. He had rectified his mistakes, but something told me he would never have stopped trying to make things right. As Lopez wrote in The LA Times, “I didn’t know Bryant. Few of us did. But as a father, a husband, a businessman, a person, he showed repeatedly that he was more than his darkest moments and worst instincts, that he grew, that he understood that his greatness gave him a platform to appeal to our better selves.”

And then, there was Gianna, who was only 13, but was already displaying impressive basketball skills. Bryant was a well-known “Girl Dad” and anyone who loved him on that court delighted in wondering whether his daughters would take after their father. 

“I can’t believe it’s been five years. And I only wonder about all the amazing things he would have done in this world had he not been taken too soon,” Dan Grunfeld, a former pro basketball player and author of “By the Grace of the Game: The Holocaust, A Basketball Legacy, and an Unprecedented American Dream,” told me. “Kobe would have been an amazing ambassador for the Lakers and for the NBA in general.”

I also asked Aron Cohen, creator of the largest online community of Lakers fans (@lakersalldayeveryday) how Bryant may have responded to developments in the NBA in the last five years. “I think he [Bryant] would be a little disappointed with how soft the game has become, but he’d also appreciate how players today have drawn inspiration from him and continue to respect him through using his moves and wearing his shoes,” said Cohen. “At this point, I believe he’d be on the official Lakers staff, maybe even the president of operations.”

Bryant’s mentality inspired Cohen to create Lakers All Day Every Day. “His mentality was my favorite thing about him,” said Cohen. “He was so concentrated on being the absolute best at what he did, in everything. I would binge watch his interviews all the time, soaking up all the knowledge he had to offer.”

For Grunfeld, Bryant was “more than a basketball player. He wasn’t just an NBA All-Star or an NBA superstar. He was an icon. His incredible basketball talent amazed me and entertained me from the time I was a kid, but it was how he approached the game that made him Kobe. Discipline, hunger, determination, maniacal tenacity and work ethic.”

Basketball is a “huge part” of Cohen’s life, and Bryant was his favorite player. “It’s impossible to not feel Kobe’s absence,” he said. “But whenever I feel like I would need something from him, I can go watch a video of him speaking about the topic I was questioning. His responses are timeless. He had an answer for EVERYTHING.”

Sometimes, I struggle more with the loss of Gianna than with Kobe. She would have turned 18 this past May and would undoubtedly have started college this fall, perhaps joining the women’s basketball team. I know her doting father would have attended every game. 

In truth, dear reader, writing this column reignited the same deep sadness I experienced that cold January morning in 2020. But Cohen made an observation that uplifted me: “Every Jan. 26 since then has been painful, but as the years go on, I realize how grateful I should be that I was alive at the same time as him [Bryant], getting to personally witness his greatness alive.”

Cohen is right. I and millions of others did get to live through those inimitable 20 years when Bryant displayed his magic. In fact, my children love to ask me questions about what it was like to have grown up with NBA legends such as Bryant, Michael Jordan and Shaquille O’Neal. 

And I still force them to sit down and listen to me describe how Derek Fisher hit a clutch three-pointer (passed by Bryant) that forced the Lakers and the Orlando Magic into overtime during game four of the 2009 NBA finals, and then made another three-pointer to win the game. I loved watching Bryant and Fisher together. 

Let me conclude with a final thought from Grunfeld, who reflected on Bryant’s role in often-glitzy Los Angeles: “In a city filled with stars, there was still only one Kobe,” he said. And we remain the still-mesmerized recipients of such greatness.


Tabby Refael is an award-winning writer, speaker and weekly columnist for The Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles. Follow her on X and Instagram @TabbyRefael.

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Is it Good for the Jews to be a Federally Designated Minority?

One of the people my wife and I respect immensely is our friend Samantha Ettus.  An author and an influencer, Samantha had a substantial following going into Oct. 7, focusing on women’s issues. After Oct. 7, her focus shifted completely. She became a consistent, articulate and forthright advocate for the Jewish people and the state of Israel. When her house burned down in the LA fires, she got a lot of responses from people who said that she wished that she were in the house at that time.  She is a Jewish hero.

Samantha launched the “Jewsletter” – to which we recommend that everyone subscribe.  A consistent feature of the Jewsletter is “Good Jewish News” – which she chronicles every week. In last week’s email, she enumerated, as ever, some good news: Columbia suspended a student who disrupted a class on Israeli history, Nova Festival survivor Yuval Raphael would represent Israel at Eurovision and the American airlines were resuming flights to Israel.

But what caught my eye was another item: “For the first time, Jewish owned businesses will be classified as ‘minority enterprises,’ making them eligible for federal programs, grants and loans.”  We are now considered a “minority” by the Minority Business Development Agency, which is a division of the United States Commerce Department. This status was granted in a ceremony attended by President Biden’s Deputy Secretary of Commerce, and applauded by an incoming Trump Administration commerce official.

I was familiar with these programs because I addressed them in my forthcoming book “God Was Right: How Modern Social Science Proves the Torah is True.” They are in the chapter on diversity. This chapter, which is the longest in the book, covers the Torah’s very rich and nuanced theory of diversity – which is completely at odds with the notion of “diversity” that is prevalent in modern American parlance, policy and institutions.

For now: these programs, which are ubiquitous at all levels of government, give preferences and special treatment in contracting and granting to businesses owned by minority groups that are preferred by the government. As a result, a business that is owned by someone with a Peruvian grandfather receives a preference in contracting over a business owned by someone whose grandparents are Italian and Irish. A business that is owned by a man who is sexually attracted to men and women receives a preference over a man who is only attracted to women.

Is it good for the Jews that we are now included as a “minority” by the Minority Business Development Agency?

It is apparently the result of advocacy by the Orthodox Jewish Chamber of Commerce.  Its founder and CEO, Duvi Honig, not surprisingly thinks it is a very good idea. He explained to the Jewish News Service, “We have a yellow star until today that we can’t be eligible to get minority dollars, minority grants or taxpayers, and it just didn’t make sense.

Rabbi Pini Dunner, a well-respected Jewish leader and scholar, agrees. “The need is more pressing than ever, especially as our local community confronts the wildfires in Los Angeles – we’re in greater need of assistance than ever before.”  

And so does Marc Jaffe, the President of the Greater New York Chamber of Commerce: “Acknowledging Jewish businesses as minorities is long overdue. They are certainly marginalized and encounter considerable discrimination.”

Joining the praise and support are the Michigan Republican Congressman Jack Bergman and the New Jersey Republican state senator Robert Singer (both of whom are Jewish) – along with seemingly every Jewish publication that has covered this. In fact, none of these publications offered an alternative perspective or even a skeptical quote.

Could that be because the justifications appear so obviously correct? Let’s start with that of Mr. Honig. He actually equates Jews not getting special and preferred treatment by the United States government to that of our grandparents who were forced by the Nazis to wear a symbol marking us for persecution and annihilation!

It is ironic that the head of the Orthodox Jewish Chamber of Commerce – or Orthodox anything, or Jewish anything – would indulge in such victimization. As I discuss in the chapter on culture in “God Was Right,” the Torah clearly and repeatedly warns against adopting the victim mentality. This is a theme in the story of Ishmael and Hagar, in why God tells us to identify as “strangers” rather than “slaves,” in the story of Moses passing by the Amorites — and in explicit laws in Exodus and Deuteronomy regarding equal treatment for rich and poor.

We can see in the statement of Mr. Jaffe just why the Author of the Torah believed that victimization was such a concern – as victimization is apparently an eternal temptation. I have been a New York businessman for thirty years – and can attest that we are “certainly” not marginalized, and don’t encounter any discrimination. If any government entity discriminates against Jews – through taxes, regulations, purchasing, anything – Mr. Jaffe should enumerate who and how.

Ironically, the only discrimination I can think of is that wrought by the programs that he is excited to join. By giving preferences to certain groups, the government is effectively discriminating against the excluded groups. But given how enthusiastic he is for Jews to be a federally designated “minority,” I don’t believe that is what he is referring to.

There was a time when Jews were discriminated against – by state and private entities. When Jews could not get jobs at investment banks, what did we do? We created Goldman Sachs, Lehman Brothers and Solomon Brothers. When we could not get jobs at law firms, we created Proskauer Rose, Fried Frank and Wachtel Lipton. When we could not get jobs in entertainment, we created Paramount, Warner Brothers and MGM. When we could not get jobs at hospitals, we created Mt. Sinai in NYC (originally called The Jews Hospital), Cedar Sinai in LA and the Jewish Hospital in Cincinnati. We certainly never sought “minority” status at the Commerce Department, or anything like it.

The devastating Los Angeles wildfires destroyed all property in their way — regardless of the ethnicity or faith of the owners. Everyone in that area is in “greater need of assistance” than before – not only, or even particularly, Jews. It is equally unclear how a non-emergency program giving Jews everywhere preferences in all kinds of federal programs will help Jews (or anyone else) suffering acutely from the damage of the wildfires.

All programs that favor specific groups face a bedeviling question: Who qualifies? For instance, should a person with one grandparent from Peru and three from Boston qualify as “Hispanic”? Should a person who maintains just a “community attachment” to an Indian tribe be considered a “Native American”? According to US government policy, the answer is yes on both.

This question is especially relevant to Jews. The “Who is a Jew?” question is neither new or – to put it mildly – settled. Orthodox Judaism considers only people who are born to a Jewish mother (or who underwent an Orthodox conversion) to be Jewish. Reform Judaism recognizes patrilineal descent, and has more liberal conversion standards. Israel grants the “right of return” to those with one Jewish grandparent and to those who have undergone a conversion with an approved Rabbi – but uses the Orthodox definition for matters of marriage and burial.

These differences are profound and challenging. How is the Commerce Department supposed to collapse them, and settle a question that divides the worldwide Jewish community?  Apparently, they are punting – from the application to the “verification” process. I’m not sure how that will help – or, for that matter, what they will do with Christians who identify as Messianic Jews or Jews for Jesus.

There is another problem, which is not addressed in any of the commentary on this program: It is illegal. President Trump issued an executive order forbidding any “DEI-related factors, goals, policies, mandates or requirements” in federal hiring, promotion, performance reviews and contracting.

These specific points roll up into a larger question. How should we think of such programs in the first place? We can analyze them on a couple of vectors.

The first comes right from the Torah: “Be holy” – a command, Nachmanides explained, to sanctify ourselves within the permissible.  Accordingly, we have a Jewish obligation to ask of this program – as with any other: Is it right, just and even sanctified?  Here, the Orthodox Jewish Chamber of Commerce needs to explain why discrimination against an Italian-American gentile in the awarding of a paving contract in favor of a Jew is right and just.

The second derives from the underlying ideology of all programs that favor one ethnic, racial, gender or religious group over another. They are all based on the notion that the world is fundamentally divided into just two groups: perpetrator and victim.  This absurd duality always results in Jews eventually being cast as perpetrators or oppressors.  It is ironic that, in order to secure a supposedly narrow benefit, the Orthodox Jewish Chamber of Commerce is subscribing to that ideology.

The entire edifice of DEI, of which these minority preference programs are a part, is based on this false duality. In 2021, Jay Greene and James Paul analyzed the tweets of DEI personnel on campus. They concluded the profession was systematically and officially antisemitic. This report did not receive much currency outside of conservative circles at the time. But the response of DEI personnel – on and off campus – after October 7 revealed just how right and prescient their report was.

Despite these damning findings against DEI, we have a Jewish obligation to understand the other side of an argument, and to (per Pirke Avot) “judge everyone on the side of favor.” How might one do so here?

Jews are, by far, the victims of more hate crimes than any other group. The response should be more policing for Jews in the neighborhoods where we are vulnerable – not giving preferences to Jewish owned businesses everywhere.

One could say that it is acceptable to receive a benefit even if one wouldn’t vote for it. I remember reading years ago that the great economist Milton Friedman, who opposed Social Security, nevertheless collected it and the great columnist Michael Kinsley, who opposed the home mortgage deduction, took one himself. Both justified their decision by saying that they were following the law and participating in the system. They are far from unique here. A liberal who believes that there should be higher taxes is not a hypocrite if he pays at the legal rate. But that is a far cry from advocating for an unjust law and celebrating its receipt – which is what the Orthodox Jewish Chamber of Commerce did.

These narrow-minded and self-serving arguments don’t work.  The response of Jews, as Jews, should not be to try to assert our victimhood and join DEI. It should be to reject discrimination in all forms, and to resist its institutionalization and legitimization that manifests as DEI. Whenever anyone receives a benefit on the basis of an immutable characteristic, it is bad news for the Jews – and everyone else.


Mark Gerson is the author of the forthcoming book, “God Was Right: How Modern Social Science Proves the Torah is True.”

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A Home is a Sanctuary of Memories

I was raised with a very strong anti-materialist mindset. Growing up in Morocco, my mother had this Arab expression she would use any time something broke, even something as valuable as expensive china.

“Something bad had to happen, and it happened to the china instead of to you,” was the gist of the expression.

I’ve used and abused that lesson more times than I can remember. It’s in my genes now that I can’t get too worked up over broken things.

I have found, however, that there is one material part of our lives that is absolutely worth stressing over– our homes.

It turns out that during the LA fires, I was in my mother’s home in Montreal and receiving texts from friends in LA whose homes had burned down. Some were close friends. I had been in their homes.

Somehow, the expression that “something bad had to happen” wasn’t working so well. Yes, our lives are the most important things, but what is it about a home that didn’t fit so easily into my mother’s life lesson?

Maybe it’s that a house is not just a material thing but an emotional repository of stories and memories.

Those little apartments where we lived as immigrants in Montreal were not just apartments. They were mini sanctuaries where my siblings and I had our favorite play areas; where my mother would set up a glorious Shabbat table in a tiny kitchen; where a Middle Eastern three-piece band played for my brother’s very crowded Bar Mitzvah party; where my father would help me on the kitchen table with a class project on Napoleon after returning from his night classes in the middle of winter.

Our homes, whether mansions or studio apartments, are places where we create memories. That’s where the warmth comes from.

It’s true that we all have things that are priceless—photo albums, kids art projects, family heirlooms and jewelry, and so on. Those mementos carry their own memories and have an emotional value no insurance policy can ever replace.

The memories inside a home are different. These are the living memories connected to space– the ones we create when we sit around a kitchen table or hang out on a deck or schmooze with friends in a living room.

When I see our messy dining room table on a Shabbat morning, it’s not the table I’m seeing. It’s the laughing and singing from the previous night; the stories and Torah discussions that moved us; the surrender to joy that comes after a little too much wine.

As I was following the LA wildfires from Montreal, thinking of those who had lost their homes, I became especially aware of the memories inside my mother’s home. Everywhere I looked were memories of parties, family gatherings, Jewish holidays, visitors from out of town, synagogue goers popping in after services, sitting for my father’s shiva and on and on. 

When a home is lost, we lose that specific place where those fondest of memories emanate from every corner. Yes, we can remember moments, but we can no longer experience them in those spaces.

I can’t pretend to know what it would feel like to have one’s house burn down. I have commiserated with friends who’ve lost theirs. For now, I can only reflect on why homes have such a hold on us, based on my own life. I see a home as a refuge that anchors us in memories that belong only to us.

In the Jewish tradition, a home is seen as a sacred space where values are both practiced and handed over. The weekly Shabbat rhythm makes that day the centerpiece of that sanctity, the instrument of holy memories.

We have a human tendency to idealize those memories. With time, we like to remember only the good ones. This is especially true after we lose something.

So much was lost in the LA fires. Lives, homes, neighborhoods, faith in our leadership, even faith in our future.

But let’s not forget the endless stories and memories that were embedded inside the homes that no longer stand. Without those kitchens and dens and family rooms and worn-out sofas, these stories may live on, but only in our minds, soon to fade away with time.

All we can ask for is the chance to create some new memories, and hope that only the china will break.

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