Doug Emhoff, the Second Gentleman, said during American Jewish Committee (AJC) Los Angeles’ 76th Kaufman Family Annual Meeting that he “forcefully” stands against antisemitism.
Speaking virtually, Emhoff said that President Joe Biden decided to run for president after seeing the 2017 “Tiki torchers” chant “Jews will not replace us” in Charlottesville and touted how his wife, Vice President Kamala Harris, “has been fighting these issues her whole career.”
“For me, it’s really important to know that they’re not just saying the words and signing the bills, but they feel very strongly about this the same way I do and the way our community does.”
Emhoff added that he has been “speaking out” and working behind the scenes to fight antisemitism “and I will continue to do that as strongly and forcefully as I can.” He also pointed to a call he was on with Jewish leaders “about a week or so ago” about the Biden administration’s efforts to combat antisemitism.
“It’s antisemitism, but it’s hate of all kinds that’s reared its head,” Emhoff said, “and it’s this hate and Asian hate, Islamophobia, homophobia, you name it. We’ve got to stand up as an administration, as a country to do what we can and snuff it out.”
The Second Gentleman also discussed his prior work with Bet Tzedek, a Jewish organization that provides free legal services to those in need. “I was so impacted as a young lawyer … going downtown to court and just seeing all those folks in need, and that just affected me.” He added that he “really represented a client and they needed you” and “30+ years later, you still remember those faces, you still remember those cases.” Emhoff has been traveling the country as Second Gentleman and hearing similar stories of those who cannot afford legal services or may not even know their legal rights.
“To be to listen to that and bring it back to the administration, is a great way to spend my time as Second Gentleman, and it really marries all the things I care about: justice and fighting for people, standing up to bullies, standing up to injustice, which is why I went to law school,” Emhoff said.
The full conversation can be seen in the video below at the 44-minute mark:
“Mama, what is that thing? The one sitting on the bench?” asked my five-year-old son, pointing to a picture in a children’s book.
“That’s a gefilte ball,” I replied.
“Oh,” he said, looking perplexed. “Can I kick it?”
“It’s not a ball for sports,” I responded. “People eat it.”
“Do you eat it?” he asked.
“No, darling. I would rather eat, well, anything else.”
And that is how I accidentally managed to ruin one aspect of Ashkenazi culture for my children.
In my defense, I, too, had never seen a gefilte fish ball sitting on a park bench. And I certainly wasn’t prepared to be asked if I enjoy its flavor.
It all began last year, one evening at bedtime, when I read to my kids a book from PJ Library called “Five Little Gefiltes.” My children always squeal at the instantly recognizable PJ Library envelope that arrives each month, and this book was a gift from my sister, whose kids were previously signed up for the program, which offers free, Jewish-themed children’s books by mail. “Five Little Gefiltes” is about young gefilte fish who leave the safety of their jar to explore the exciting world of New York City. Naturally, their mother is beside herself with worry. Page after page, as another gefilte disappears, she cries “Oy, vey!” (I also had to explain that phrase to my son by likening it to the Persian version, “Vaveyla!”).
As a mother, I could relate to that panicky fish ball. But that was the only thing to which I could relate in the book.
I was deeply grateful to PJ Library (a program of the Harold Grinspoon Foundation), which provides free, age-appropriate Jewish children’s picture books to 670,000 subscribers spanning five continents. The books are beautiful, vivid and enriching, but I’d started to lose count of how many characters, customs and stories are completely foreign to my own. My children and I love learning about other Jews, but we seldom saw ourselves or our family reflected in those books.
The books are beautiful, vivid and enriching, but I’d started to lose count of how many characters, customs and stories are completely foreign to my own.
I’m Iranian. And for decades, Ashkenazim (whom I love, as I try to love all Jews) have tried to relate to me by comparing gefilte fish and matzo balls to my beloved gondi, an Iranian Jewish Shabbat staple (ground chicken meatballs with chickpea, cardamom, turmeric, and other spices).
Do all Iranian Jews loathe gefilte fish? No. Some even love it. But I wish non-Iranians would stop comparing it (and matzo balls) to gondi.
Of course, not all books that PJ Library offers are about gefilte fish, an outlier if there ever was one. There’s “Goodnight, Bubbala” and others that reference “bubbies” and “zaydes”; many refer to matzo ball soup and distinctly Eastern-European-looking villages; and there are a slew devoted to Ashkenazi holiday customs, especially during Passover, which means more matzo balls (oh, how I wish there was a PJ Library book dedicated to the awesome custom of Iranian Jewish scallion beatings during Persian seders).
Yes, I’m teasing, even if the aforementioned list of themes is correct. And if anyone should know how hard PJ Library is working to expand its Jewish canvas, it’s me.
Last winter, I was a participant in a wonderful pilot cohort and workshop series called “The Stories We Tell: A Picture Book Program for Jewish Storytellers.” The program was sponsored by PJ Library, The Highlights Foundation, and NuRoots, a project of The Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles that helps young Jewish adults connect with meaningful Jewish experiences.
“The Stories We Tell” began on Zoom in January 2021 and included ten participants, all of whom are involved in either television, journalism, writing, theatre, illustration, education—and who love to tell stories. Participants were diverse: Sephardi, Mizrahi, Persian, Black, Asian, Latino, part of multi-faith families, and Jews by choice. Some were parents; many were advocates in community networks.
“Representation in media matters,” Meredith Lewis, Director of Content, Education and Family Experience at PJ Library told me. “As PJ Library reviewed its lineups, we realized that many Jewish experiences and perspectives weren’t portrayed at all. ‘The Stories We Tell’ is helping us start the important process of engaging storytellers that could help us bring those missing perspectives of Judaism to life in our books.”
Impassioned Jewish Federation leaders, including Jason Leivenberg (Senior Vice President, NuRoots), Donna Maher (Assistant Director of the Y&S Nazarian Initiative and a fellow Iranian American Jew), and Michael Fritzen, PJ Library Program Manager, are also champions of the extraordinary tapestry of Mizrahi and Sephardic stories.
In full disclosure, I submitted two manuscripts with Mizrahi themes to PJ Library several years ago. Both were rejected.
At the time, I took it personally, worrying whether some at PJ Library headquarters in Western Massachusetts appreciated (or even had knowledge of) Iranian Jews (who number nearly 60,000 in Southern California). But once I began the workshop, I realized that I had no idea how to write a children’s picture book, and that’s probably why my manuscripts weren’t accepted. That humbling realization made all the difference.
According to Leivenberg, PJ Library of Los Angeles sends books to 13,500 local children. With so many Mizrahim and Sephardim in the city, he and his colleagues had heard their fair share of community feedback. “The Federation recognized there was a gap,” he said. “Our community provided feedback that the multitude of Jewish stories in these books was not reflective of the lived experiences, expressions, and backgrounds of the people reading them.”
Bingo. Or should I say, gefilte fish.
“The Stories We Tell” workshop offered an engaging, practical, and often, eye-opening introduction into the world of helping pre-published writers create children’s picture books. Skill-building segments were created and taught by acclaimed author Heidi E.Y. Stemple, who’s written dynamic children’s books including “Jewish Fairy Tale Feasts,” “Eek You Reek,” “Monster Academy,” and, along with her mother, Jane Yolen (author of “The Devil’s Arithmetic”), “A Kite for Moon” and “I Am the Storm.”
And once the workshop ended, it was obvious that most, if not all, of the participants were preparing (or perfecting) manuscripts. “I feel one of my jobs is to make sure that the door isn’t closed after I’m inside,” said Stemple. “Because I’m a published author, it is my job to make sure that that door stays open for others wanting to come in. Mentoring new voices and passing on information about how to succeed once inside—that is one thing I can do to help include more voices.”
Are there still many diverse stories to be told? Yes, but PJ Library is to be commended for its commitment to inclusion and the efforts it’s already undertaking to bridge the gap.
“Often, Jewish books are about the holidays or the Holocaust,” said George Brown, Executive Director of the Highlights Foundation, a Pennsylvania-based non-profit organization that specializes in running workshops and retreats for writers, and whose goal, according to its website, is to amplify “the voices of storytellers who inform, educate, and inspire children to become their best selves.”
Brown added, “Creating stories that haven’t been told yet, or that can be told from a different perspective, or that just show Jewish kids in contemporary life is something all children should have a chance to read. Our goal should be that all children can see themselves in the pages of a book.”
Highlights is currently offering scholarships for Jewish writers and illustrators of color. “The Stories We Tell” workshop will be offered again after the High Holy Days, in Fall/Winter 2021-2022.
“We [PJ Library] definitely have heard from many families asking for greater representation,” said Lewis. To that end, PJ Library has been reviewing all previously used books to ensure they are, according to Lewis, “welcoming, authentic stories.” But including a more diverse array of voices is harder than it seems.
“A large part of the challenge we face is that many of our wonderful current authors cannot tell authentic Sephardic and Mizrahi stories, among other identities that we don’t see represented in our books,” said Lewis. “In order to get those stories, we have to be working with authors that can tell them.”
“A large part of the challenge we face is that many of our wonderful current authors cannot tell authentic Sephardic and Mizrahi stories, among other identities that we don’t see represented in our books,” said Lewis.
One of Lewis’s favorite Sephardic-themed PJ Library books includes “The Peddler and the Baker.” In Fall 2021, PJ Library will release a book set in Morocco called “Eat Coat, Eat,” from a Hebrew version by Ronit Hacham. The story, according to Lewis, is “a beautiful adaptation of the hungry clothes folktale.”
Indeed, PJ Library’s diversity of books is growing. Many are set in ancient Israel or ancient Egypt. Current stories focused on Sephardic and Mizrahi stories and characters include “Yosef’s Dream” and “Yuvi’s Candy Tree” (Ethiopian Jewry); “The Wooden Sword” (set in Afghanistan); Joha Makes a Wish: A Sephardic Tale (featuring a popular character in Sephardic folklore); “Buen Shabbat” (a Sephardic family’s preparation for Shabbat); “One City, Two Brothers” (a Jewish and Arab folk tale); and “The Key from Spain: Flory Jagoda and Her Music” (about the legendary “keep of the flame” of Sephardic music.
“A book about the Ladino (Judeo-Spanish) language would be great,” said Sarah Levin, Executive Director of JIMENA (Jews Indigenous to the Middle East and North Africa), which was founded in 2002 by former Jewish refugees from countries such as Libya.
Yes, through many charming works, PJ Library books have offered a window for my children to learn about the customs of Ashkenazim. But, until recently, they have not offered enough of a window for Ashkenazim to look into the world of my children or other Iranian Jews (or Sephardim or Mizrahim).
“We as Iranian Jews have an incredible 2,700-year history of traditions in Iran that will be permanently lost in the future if writers from our community today do not share our stories and experiences there,” said local journalist, writer and workshop participant Karmel Melamed.
Since completing the workshop, Melamed has drafted manuscripts for two children’s books focused on Iranian Jewish themes, which he recently submitted to PJ Library. “When you lose your roots, how can you grow and flourish in the future?” he asked.
He’s right. And armed with everything I’ve learned from the workshop, I may already have an idea for my next attempt at a PJ Library manuscript: “Five Little Gondi Balls.”
Tabby Refael is a Los Angeles-based writer, speaker and civic action activist. Follow her on Twitter @RefaelTabby.
Shay Charka is one of Israel’s most talented comic book artists and political cartoonists. Dara Horn, writing in TabletMagazine, called “From Foe to Friend,” Charka’s pictorial versions of stories by the Nobel prizewinning author S. Y. Agnon, “miraculous” and “so breathtaking that I almost thought I dreamed it.” Born in 1967, Charka has published twenty graphic novels and cartoon collections, his work drawing playfully and profoundly on Jewish sources such as the Bible and Talmud. His “Jewdyssey,” a graphic-novel retelling of Homer’s “Odyssey” as a Holocaust story, has recently been prepared in English translation. He is the political cartoonist for the Israeli paper Makor Rishon, where his deft and brilliant visual commentary on current events is relished by thousands.
In these three recent “shorts,” Charka meditates on Europe—the “old world.” The first, “Berlin,” captures the haunting experience of the Jewish visitor to that city, figured as the boy from the Warsaw Ghetto photograph. The second, “Nehemia,” mischievously retells the Hasidic tale of the Baal Shem Tov and the boy who played flute on Yom Kippur, making a place for the cartoonist in a story Agnon included in his “Days of Awe.” The third story is an acerbic, affecting reflection on family memories and the impulse to look for our “Roots” in the landscape of post-Holocaust Europe.
Michael Weingrad is a professor of Jewish Studies and lives in Oregon.
The incoming dean of Cal State Los Angeles’ new College of Ethnic Studies defended Nation of Islam (NOI) leader Louis Farrakhan in 2018.
The Education Next journal reported that economist Dr. Julianne Malveaux will start in her new position on July 1. University President William A. Covino said in a statement, “I look forward to the work that the college will do and the collaborations that will emerge under Dr. Malveaux’s leadership. This is a significant appointment for the college, but also for the city and the nation.”
Education Next unearthed a 2018 column from Malveaux in the Birmingham Times, where she wrote that Women’s March, Inc. co-founder Theresa Shook and actress Alyssa Milano “have demanded that the women’s march leaders ‘denounce’ National of Islam Minister Louis Farrakhan. Why? They object to his anti-Semitic rhetoric. They object to the fact that Tamika Mallory attended his annual Savior’s Day this year. They say that anti-Semitism is hateful and dangerous, and they are right. But it wasn’t the Nation of Islam that shot up the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh!”
She added: “White people’s hatred for Minister Farrakhan is irrational and, might I say, racist. He is the only person, the only human being that Congress has censured. No David Duke, no Charlottesville murderers, none of the hatemongers that have caused the racist tension in our nation. Just Minister Farrakhan. But then our society is consistent with its double standards and its demands that black people bend over backward to prove that we, too, sing America.”
Education Next also found a 2018 article in The Final Call—the NOI’s newspaper—that quotes Malveaux calling a congressional resolution denouncing Farrakhan “insanity.” “Farrakhan is the only person in contemporary history who has been targeted by Congress for his views. We have not seen the peoplein Charlottesville who killed the woman targeted. So the only person you could think of to target is a Black man who loves Black people.” She added that “tens of thousands if not millions of people, Black people” view Farrakhan as “their chosen leader.”
“They are not racist people. They are not anti-Semitic. They are Black people. So, until these Jewish people who are running around asking Black people to buck dance, until they ask White people to buck dance, I ain’t having it! I’m just not having it!” She did tell the paper that she doesn’t agree with all of Farrakhan’s statements.
Additionally, Education Next found a 2005 article in The New York Jewish Week stating that Malveaux had attended an announcement by Farrakhan of an upcoming civil rights march at the time; the article stated that “Malveaux was critical of Farrakhan’s critics for bringing up his comments of ‘15 or 20 years ago.’” However, Education Next did find a 1995 Washington Post op-ed that Malveaux wrote stating: “While I reject white Americans’ use of Louis Farrakhan as a litmus test of acceptable black opinion, I also reject the notion that I have to embrace Farrakhan just because white America looks askance at him. Farrakhan and the Nation of Islam offer an array of positives and negatives to black America. On the plus side, there is his focus on economic development and discipline. On the minus side, there is the antisemitic rhetoric and the traditionalism in gender relations.”
Education Next also highlighted a May 2021 op-ed in the Richmond Free Press where Malveaux wrote regarding the recent escalation between Israel and Hamas: “Israel has a lock on U.S. foreign policy, and too many Jewish people say that criticism of Israel makes you anti-Semitic. There is no anti-Semitism in wanting justice for Palestinian people, but some people, fearful of being called anti-Semitic, are silent in the face of injustice.”
Jewish groups expressed concern over Malveaux being named as the dean of Cal State LA’s College of Ethnic Studies.
“We are concerned about the appointment of Dr. Malveaux as the new Dean of the College of Ethnic Studies at Cal State LA due to past comments demonizing Israel, invoking antisemitic tropes of Jewish control over U.S. foreign policy and defending extremist, antisemite and homophobe Louis Farrakhan,” Anti-Defamation League (ADL) Los Angeles Regional Director Jeffrey Abrams said in a statement to the Journal. “We hope that, in contrast to these past comments, she will use her role to promote education and foster understanding between communities.”
American Jewish Committee Los Angeles Director Richard S. Hirschhaut similarly said in a statement to the Journal, “The hiring of Julianne Malveaux to lead Cal State LA’s College of Ethnic Studies is a perplexing choice and a botched opportunity to promote racial reconciliation and healing. Her academic credentials aside, what is Cal State LA thinking in choosing a strident anti-Israel ideologue and apologist for some of most rank antisemitic bigots in America today? Malveaux is a polarizing and divisive figure who will do little to advance appreciation or even respect for our diverse narratives. Dare I say, this is an affront to the many communities that make up the rich diversity of Los Angeles and a setback to our collective push for progress.”
Rabbi Marvin Hier, Founder and Dean of the Simon Wiesenthal Center, told the Journal, “To have a situation where a dean of an American educational institution in the heart of California is a supporter of the most notorious antisemite in America, Louis Farrakhan, is unbelievable.” He added that when Farrakhan has battled with various illnesses, “most of the medicine that was used to cure him were invented by Jews. And he remains a notorious anti-Semite, and America has to correct that.”
He added: “It’s time for the entire Africa-American community to do the right thing and repudiate Louis Farrakhan, not elevate him. And what [Malveaux] is doing is elevating him and if she thinks that way she’ll be regarded as a Farrakhan favorite, it’s an outrage, and every Jew should be speak out against it. It’s a disgrace to the university to have someone who is not a bit embarrassed to herald Louis Farrakhan as an iconic figure that Americans should look up to. It’s disgraceful.”
Jack Saltzberg, President and Founder of The Israel Group, also told the Journal, “The ADL calls Farrakhan ‘America’s Leading Anti-Semite.’ The Southern Poverty Law Center says he’s a black separatist, which makes him a racist. So, it appears the new Ethnic Studies dean has problems with both Jews and whites.”
StandWithUs CEO and Co-Founder Roz Rothstein told Education Next, “While we fully support better representation of marginalized groups in public education, it is now well documented that too many ethnic studies departments are institutionally biased against Jews and Israel. Unfortunately, it appears this appointment will make that problem worse. How can Jews expect to be treated with respect in a college where the leader has defended Louis Farrakhan, downplayed concerns about antisemitism, and promoted destructive conspiracy theories about Jewish power?”
Covino defended the hire in a statement to the Journal. “Dr. Malveaux comes to Cal State LA as a highly regarded public intellectual, whose scholarship and commentary present a complex and challenging vision of how best to serve the public good. I am convinced that she is not antisemitic.”
The Journal also sent a request for comment to Malveaux through the contact form on her website; the comment was not returned as of publication time.
This month, we ran the first of hopefully many Heshbon HaNefesh poetry retreats, in an adobe house near Twentynine Palms, in the Mojave wilderness of southern California. Our goal was to establish a new Jewish poetry community.
The awe-inspiring beauty of the desert, with 108 degree Fahrenheit days and ruach-filled nights under a canopy of galaxies, served as backdrop for a weekend that explored Jewish liturgical and midrashic poetry, artistic connections to prayer and prophecy, and how—and why—empty spaces can open our souls.
Retreat adobe in the Mojave
What poetic (prophetic?) messages do we receive in the desert? How do we carry on toward the promised land despite fears and vulnerabilities? How much do we rely on traditional sources in the poetic rendering of our existential seeking? What does it mean to be Jewish poets?
The opportunity to escape daily environments in order to explore a special subject of the heart has always been a popular staple in community-building. Now, after the long quarantine year, the desire to gather with like-minded peers in person and foster bonds over a shared passion is even stronger, the need almost imperative.
The opportunity to escape daily environments in order to explore a special subject of the heart has always been a popular staple in community-building.
We felt this need acutely in an area about which we care deeply: contemporary midrashic practice and Jewish liturgical poetry. We were not alone in experiencing this hunger, as reflections from attendees revealed. We have recounted these reflections throughout this essay.
“The convening was necessary and a very nourishing part of reopening the world after COVID.”
Our ten spots filled up quickly, with a few people on the waitlist. The fast response was all the more remarkable, as attending the retreat involved driving three hours one-way and sharing a beautiful yet small gem of an AirBnB that didn’t allow for much privacy indoors. Participants were largely LA-based and included a mix of published poets, writers who wanted to (re-)connect with their lyrical selves, and liturgists re-interpreting the siddur. Each one was an artsy seeker of wisdom, a faithful and unconventional miner of Jewish texts.
“(I gained) the permission to interrupt the rigid liturgy with the magmic eruption of Divine inspiration, to see spontaneous poetry as prayer and my typical prayer practice as poetry brought alive, like star shine, never the same.”
What is the Heshbon HaNefesh Poetry Project?
Joshua is a Jewish educator and scholar and Julia is a non-profit professional turned rabbi-in-training, and both of us are poets and have collaborated in various Jewish learning settings.
When March 11, 2021 was on the horizon—the date that marked one year since the WHO declared the Coronavirus outbreak a pandemic—the idea emerged for a pop-up event that would take an accounting of the quarantine year and how it had affected fellow poets’ souls: a Heshbon HaNefesh, in traditional Jewish language.
We reached out to a diverse set of Jewish poets and curated poetry readings on Zoom that were attended by 100+ people from across the States, Europe, and Israel. We then took ensuing conversations and poetry readings on that subject onto the Clubhouse stage, the domain where Opening Doors is predominantly active, with a reach of 1500+ followers.
With the momentum that was generated, we were eager to create new content. We invited the acclaimed Bible scholar and Yehuda Amichai expert, Professor Robert Alter, for a conversation about Amichai’s relationship with and lyrical rendering of time, on the anniversary of the Israeli poet’s birthday in early May.
The next step was to be a retreat: Julia had long envisioned running a poetry beit midrash, and Joshua’s Opening Doors had been looking to establish a Jewish retreat series—a serendipitous alignment and overlap of passions and goals that finally came to fruition in the barren, flourishing landscape of the desert.
“I loved it. I take away how much poets have in common, a deeper appreciation of multi-directionality of time, sacred time, preciousness of trees and water.”
Facilitators Julia Knobloch and Joshua Krug
What Was Special About the Heshbon HaNefesh Poetry Retreat?
Perhaps the most special feature of the retreat was something outside of our hands: the dynamic among the members of the cohort. Retreat attendees formed a sacred collective in almost no time and turned the little house deep in the desert into a peaceful and safe artists’ oasis, for which we are incredibly grateful.
“A unique Jewish community of a kind I have never quite experienced!”
On a practical level, we walked the line between workshop and Shabbaton: As advocates for inclusive, cross-denominational Jewish spaces, we invited participants to follow their observance, yet offered sessions entailing writing prompts exclusively before and after Shabbat.
Our Saturday sessions focused on reading, reflecting, and oral sharing of inspiration. Prior to the weekend, we had asked participants to send us excerpts from poems and prayers that are meaningful to them as expressions of secular and sacred art. We taped copies of the passages on the walls in the communal spaces and invited people for a morning gallery-walk, before coming back together as a group.
“I feel more informed about and connected to Jewish sources, and I find myself thinking more expansively on how to read, interpret, and relate to these sources.”
In the afternoon, we explored elements of Parshat Korach. The title character’s rebellion in the wilderness provided an almost uncanny prompt for considering what moves us in our writing: How might we interpret “to fall on one’s face” as poets? What does that mean for our artistic exploration—and transformation—of Jewish texts? How and why do we write for the sake of heaven?
“We are mortal, but the world is not. I am curious to learn more about the connection between light and time.”
The program was rounded out with Kabbalat Shabbat and Havdalah rituals; partaking in home-cooked meals (most of them prepared pre-Shabbat in Pico-Robertson and transported to the desert); yoga and meditation offerings by participants; as well as ample time for individual contemplation, for which the term “heat-bodedut” was aptly coined.
“We breathe and become the DNA of the environment we belong to.”
Looking Ahead: What Have We Learned?
The retreat was successful, as it contributed to Jewish spiritual growth of individuals and the development of a sacred arts community.
“I am taking away new friendships, a sense of belonging to a community of Jewish poets, and more courage to live and create from my poetic center.”
There is a deep desire to be creative in person again, fueled by an exuberant curiosity for new soul connections. The boundaries between art and spirituality have become even more permeable than before the pandemic. Jewish poets seem more thirsty than ever to mine traditional texts for existential meaning. While our retreat was but one small addition to the solid palette of offerings at the intersection of Judaism and poetry in our region, we feel fortunate to have facilitated an experience for which participants had been yearning: an unconventional grassroots framework, the hope and inspiration that come with a new cohort, the delightful excitement of new beginnings in post-pandemic freedom.
There is a deep desire to be creative in person again, fueled by an exuberant curiosity for new soul connections.
We are committed to growing this community, to watering the seeds that were sown in the arid desert. Post-retreat, we gathered for Havdalah in one of the participant’s backyards, and plan to host readings and workshops; to compile a collection with poems inspired by the retreat; to convene a Sukkot gathering; and to facilitate the next Heshbon HaNefesh retreat sometime in the late fall.
To learn more about and register for the next Heshbon HaNefesh poetry workshop, click here. To get in touch with Julia Knobloch and Joshua Krug: heshbonhanefeshpoetry@gmail.com
Dr.Joshua Krug is an aspiring mensch and Director of Jewish Life and Learning at Kehillah Jewish High School. He composed the chapbook, “Let Us Remember the Empty Slogans We Often Say,” and founded Opening Doors.
A student at the Ziegler School for Rabbinic Studies, Julia Knobloch published her debut poetry collection “Do Not Return” with Broadstone Books and has her new chapbook “Book of Failed Salvation” forthcoming with Ben Yehuda Press.
Unbeknownst to the Israelites, great hostility is brewing just over the next hill. The main focus of this week’s portion, King Balak’s hiring of the prophet Bila’am to curse the Israelites, takes place out of the sight of the encamped tribes of Israel. The Israelites sit oblivious to the fury, fear and drama that are taking place nearby.
The Israelites need to cross Moabite land to get to the plateau that overlooks Canaan, just across from where Jericho is today. The Moabites apparently think this is a ruse. They believe that the Israelites will attack them once they are behind Moabite lines. King Balak has heard of the recent string of Israelite victories and is not confident that he can defeat the Israelites on the field of battle. He feels he must find a non-military solution. Balak hires a prophet of God to curse the Israelites. Maybe that will work. Not an ideal prophet of God, mind you. One for hire.
The “hire a prophet” idea doesn’t work out well, for a couple of reasons. First, Bila’am really was a prophet of God, even if not an ideal one. The core meaning of a prophet of God in the Bible is one who can express God’s word. Granted, Bilaam did want the money, but to Bila’am’s own dismay, he could only say the words that God prompted. Since we are at one of those a relatively unusual places in the Torah where God happens to be kindly disposed toward the Israelites who are not complaining about one thing another, Bila’am can’t get the curses out of his mouth. God does not put those curses there. Blessings come out instead.
Just cursing your enemies is not a reliable path to victory. If cursing one’s enemies worked, everybody would be dead by now.
“Cursing” nowadays no longer means calling down malevolent supernatural forces on others; it simply means “swearing” (in the bad sense) or insulting. Insulting others can certainly hurt their feelings, but such language does not seem to call in supernatural forces.
There is a real dimension of “being cursed,” though. Taking the inner life perspective, I should say “feeling cursed.” I have spoken with many people who feel that they are cursed, but they don’t say it that way. Instead, they feel that there is something in them that seriously impedes their well-being or success. I call this a “shame wound” – a usually hidden belief that there is something fundamentally wrong with oneself. Shame wounds are some of the hardest things to experience. Treating shame wounds is some of the hardest spiritual work that people do.
There is another kind of cursing that torments us, probably generated by the shame wound – people actually cursing at themselves. I recently spoke to a person whose inner chatter was filled with imprecations. A voice inside told her that she was worthless, that her life was a waste, she made no difference, that everything was futile.
I let her know that everyone has moments like these. Everyone has felt at one time or another inner voices of bitterness toward the self. Sometimes the feelings of shame cause us to depress, but sometimes those words are turned on others. We blame them for how bad we feel.
The damage that harsh words do is one of the reasons I focus so often on “no criticizing, complaining, condemning, or protracted conflict.” It does not matter if those words are directed at others, or if you direct them at yourself as self-hatred. Such language can cause us real damage.
We human beings have a capacity for creating harm through language, to ourselves and to others. Many of us are quick to judge and find it easy to condemn others and ourselves; self-love, empathy and understanding take great discipline and constant inner work.
We all have an inner Balak, hired by the Yetzer Ha-Ra (destructive patterns within us), aiming to destroy others and/or ourselves with words. We have an inner Bila’am, pretending to be an agent of truth, hiding a motivation to harm, pretending to be following God’s will. It took the talking donkey to awaken Bila’am to his calling – to say only what God tells him to say.
We should all be so lucky, that when the ego-self is in the midst of a mission to harm ourselves and/or others with words, a stubborn inner donkey of virtue gets in our way and has us turn our words of harm turn into poems of blessings.
Last Monday, we dropped off our daughter for overnight camp. The camp system was flawless. Counselors greet the car. Kid comes out. Parents drive away. The process makes sense. No drawn-out goodbyes. A quick and sweet separation.
I knew all of this before we entered the car line. But I just couldn’t do it. As my daughter got out of the car, yelling a “see you soon”, I also jumped out. I gave her a huge hug and she began to laugh. As Annie walked over to her group, my husband and I immediately looked at each other. No tears from our daughter, but both of us began to cry.
We laughed through our tears and realized that this was it: the real transition of our child growing up. We felt proud of her and honestly, proud of ourselves. Our child understood (better than us) that two weeks fly by, and she would soon be back in our nest, safe at home.
In a discussion about the ways in which a child should be disciplined, the Talmud (Sotah 47a) explains, “It should always be the left that pushes another away and the right that draws him near.” Meaning, that while a child feels rebuke from a parent, they should likewise see the rebuker as one of understanding and compassion. Slightly pushing away while also drawing them close. A parent that can offer a critical eye with an open heart. Our tradition teaches us that a child grows not out of fear. Rather, a child grows through a foundation of love.
However, this time around, my child is the teacher, and I am the student. She gently pushed me away, reminding me that she is never too far away. Her laugh during our hug was the curriculum. This week, we are learning how to take pride in our parenting, feel secure in our daughter’s ability to voice her needs, and smile through our tears. She will be back; but for now, she is meant to be away.
Letting her parents grow more…day by day.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Nicole Guzik is a rabbi at Sinai Temple. She can be reached at her Facebook page at Rabbi Nicole Guzik. For more writings, visit Rabbi Guzik’s blog section from Sinai Temple’s website.
