Torah Portion: Hiding our faces

On Mount Sinai, Moses begs God, “Oh, let me behold Your Presence” (Exodus 33:18), and God agrees to allow God’s goodness to pass before Moses. God instructs Moses, “Station yourself on the rock and as My Presence passes by, I will put you in a cleft of the rock and shield you with My hand until I have passed by. Then I will take My hand away and you will see My back, but My face must not be seen” (Exodus 33:21-23).

Our sages debate about what Moses saw. Rashi explains Moses saw the knot on the back of God’s tefillin. Nachmanides suggests if Adam was originally created with two faces, one in front and one in back, and that man is created in God’s image, that Moses must have seen God’s face in back. 

Ibn Ezra teaches that we cannot take this literally — that God has no material form, and what Moses sees is a mystery and a metaphor. Gersonides explains that “My back” means “the events I leave in My wake,” which Sforno says means that Moses will see how everything comes from God but not the details of how the existence of everything comes from the existence of God.

No matter how you read this text, our sages all agree that while there may be something of God that Moses can see, God’s face (whatever that may be) remains hidden. Even with Moses, God hides part of God’s self. It is no wonder we sometimes struggle with finding God; our Torah and our tradition teach that God is a mystery we cannot solve.

Later in this same portion, we learn Moses’ face is radiant when he comes off the mountain, and our tradition suggests the glow comes from that experience with God — that the light of God clung to him and shone like rays from his skin. At first the Israelites are afraid, and we learn that after delivering the teachings from God, Moses puts on a veil to cover his face. We are then told, “Whenever Moses went in before God to speak, he would leave the veil off until he came out; and when he came out and told the Israelites what he had been commanded, the Israelites would see how radiant the skin of Moses’ face was. Moses would then put the veil back over his face until he went in to speak with God” (Exodus 34:34-35).

Like God, Moses is also concealing his face. Again, our sages disagree about why Moses hides behind a veil. Explanations abound. Midrash tells us the Israelites’ guilt about the golden calf prevents them from looking at Moses. Rashi writes that the veil is to prevent the people from staring at Moses and distracting him. Gersonides explains Moses needed to tone down his new, higher spiritual state to deal with the people. Ibn Ezra, on the other hand, teaches that Moses absorbed light when talking to God in the Tent of Meeting and then radiated that light outward when teaching the Israelites what he learned, and after teaching he put the veil back on so the ignorant would not see the light depart from his face.

Again we see there are many reasons to hide one’s face. Sometimes we hide because we are afraid of how others will respond to us; other times we may hide parts of ourselves so we only put our best face forward. It can be out of self-preservation. It may imply that we are not always free to be our true selves.

Moses had to be many things to many people. His role as prophet was not the same as his role as teacher of Torah or his role as judge between the people. Perhaps to do each of these things well, Moses had to emphasize one part of his nature over another, or perhaps — like God — he only shared certain parts of himself.

This week we celebrated Purim, a holiday that celebrates the hidden. God remains hidden in the book of Esther, the only book of the Tanakh that does not contain God’s name. Esther knows there is a time to conceal and a time to reveal; had she revealed herself as a Jew too soon, she might not have had the ear of the king and would not have been able to influence him. Had she waited much longer, Haman might have succeeded with his evil plot. 

We celebrated Purim by hiding ourselves behind masks and costumes. We are reminded that sometimes when wearing a mask, we are at our most exposed. When we think we are hidden, we feel freer to be ourselves; not just the silliness we indulge in when we are in costume, but the way we sing in the shower or dance when nobody is looking. And when we are so obvious about hiding our faces, we can’t help but think of all the subtler ways we hide — the times we don’t speak up for fear of being criticized, the times we look the other way so we don’t have to take action.

There are many reasons we may hide. Our sages tried to understand why God and Moses hid parts of themselves. Our Torah teaches us that we each have to decide what remains a mystery, and when it is time to stop hiding ourselves and lift
the veil. 

Rabbi Shawna Brynjegard-Bialik is a rabbi at Temple Ahavat Shalom in Northridge.