Jacob & the Angel

Being a hospice chaplain, I encounter every side of life’s last phase: the person with the final illness & death and the grieving survivors. Being a teacher of Torah, I find great comfort in understanding the challenges of life in what I call “Stepping into the Jewish Paradigm,” or in the situation I am about to describe, “Stepping into a Torah Paradigm.” I have found it helpful in various circumstances to relate the experience of the person before me to stories from Torah. I plan to write about several of these, this being the first. Look for others in future.

I find that many people approaching an illness, whether as a patient or a caretaker, enter optimistically. Even though great fear may be involved, there is an expectation that complete recovery is possible. This is the beginning of penetrating the denial of death, our very human, and might I say, God-given, gift of denial that enables us to live with an idea of a hopeful future. It is our last wrestling match with life and disappointment, and it is portrayed so well in the Torah story of Jacob’s Encounter with the Angel.  Gen 32:25-33. (It’s good to read the back story, all of chapter 32.)

Jacob is at a low point in his life. He’s on the outs with his father-in-law, Laban, who has treated Jacob deceitfully. But to leave Laban, he must go back toward the land of his brother Esau. Many years ago, Esau wanted to kill Jacob. He is caught between a rock and a hard place!

Jacob is left alone by the river, greatly frightened. I liken this to one being ultimately alone with encountering one’s existential reality: that we really must, at some time, die. We can be supported by many people, but the internal engagement with this notion of death is one made alone. This inner confrontation with the terrifying unknown is portrayed in our story as Jacob’s outer struggle with an angel.

Just as there are so many vague and variable factors in facing a serious illness, so the angel will not tell Jacob his own name. He is a mystery. However, the angel sees that Jacob is facing him and engaging: not giving up. So the angel determines that Jacob merits a new name. Jacob has become a different person by virtue of this wrestling match. He will “no longer” be called “the supplanter,” the one who takes what he doesn’t deserve, but “Yisrael:” One who struggles with God “and has prevailed.” Yes, when we can begin facing our own death, we have struggled with the Great Mystery that rules we must die.

But this is not the end of the story!  Dawn breaks, a NEW DAY. The angel must flee, and he leaves Jacob a changed person. Jacob has won a new name, YET HE LIMPS away from the encounter. He has gained in understanding and courage and fortitude, but his body is weaker. He does not return to his former self, neither in personality, nor in body. With age and serious illness, one’s body declines, but by tangling with the reality of death, we gain the opportunity to deepen our wisdom and compassion and understanding of the nature of life.

Me’irah Iliinsky is a Reconstructionist rabbi, as well as an artist. She works as a hospice chaplain for Vitas Healthcare in the San Francisco Bay region and teaches Torah at the Jewish Community Center of San Francisco. Her artwork can be viewed at  

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