“Moses summoned Joshua and said to him before the eyes of all Israel, ‘Be strong and courageous…’ ” Deuteronomy 31:7.
Aware that he is about to die, Moses appoints Joshua as his successor in front of all the people. In a few short verses, he leads us on a journey through a plethora of emotions. Moses lets the people know that God is already aware of the many sins they will commit, but he is also aware that they will eventually arrive, succeed and triumph in Israel.
This portion is “one of seeming contradictions — sadness on one hand and soaring optimism on the other,” Rabbi Berel Wein writes. But how can we use these apparent contradictions in our own personal journey through Yom Kippur, and especially through Yizkor?
An answer can be found in Moses’ interaction with Joshua. After decades of mentoring Joshua, Moses publicly blesses him as the new leader. “Be strong and courageous,” he says.
These words of advice, and the public blessing, are some of the keys to making Yom Kippur that much more meaningful.
It is a true blessing to be mentored or guided by others. And mentorship becomes even more impactful when we are recognized publicly by our teachers and guides. The process of rabbinic smicha (ordination) is a public recognition by teachers that the “student” is now ready and should be accepted by the community. The moment that a person is recognized by his or her teachers in this public way is a moment of transition. It is the simultaneous blessing of both the mentor and mentee as the mantle is passed. As William Butler Yeats put it, “It seemed, so great my happiness, that I was blessed and could bless.” For Moses and Joshua, this public passing of the torch was just such a blessing. Rather than making the death of Moses that much more painful, it becomes a key to transforming the loss of Moses into hope for both Joshua and the people.
Moses’ words give us the guidance of what a mentor needs to always say. Joshua has shown his knowledge, wisdom and value throughout the years, and the great advice that his mentor can give is both simple and deep: “Be strong and courageous.” Isn’t this what we all need to hear as we take on a new endeavor, as we carry the mantle of our teachers?
And these are the words that we need to remember this Yom Kippur, especially as we enter the Yizkor ceremony.
Our loved ones have moved on, but they have left us a legacy. We have a responsibility to live in a way that makes them proud and honor what they taught us. We need to allow ourselves to deeply feel the loss of their presence but also rejoice in what we experienced with them and be grateful for how much our lives are a result of their influence and teachings. Yizkor is not just a time to remember the loss, but to be grateful for the relationship that we had with them in life.
I once heard someone come up to a fellow congregant after Yizkor and say to them, “You smell like a newborn baby.” The congregant had cried so hard, had embraced their pain so much, that they had literally been cleansed from the inside out. Because they had the strength and courage to go fully into the pain of their loss, they were able to come out the other side. The Yizkor process ultimately became one of mourning and cleansing, the remembrance and celebration of an important relationship.
This is the public teaching that Moses gives us as he is about to die. Allow ourselves to grieve, to mourn, but also to celebrate the future and what we have learned from those who went before us. A rainbow can only occur after the rain, and we need to let our tears flow so that we can appreciate and celebrate the lives of our loved ones.
May we each have the courage this Yizkor to experience the honest pain of our losses so fully that we can come through the other side cleansed, whole and strong. And may we always honor our mentors and mentees, our teachers and students, our parents and children.
May each of us, and all of Israel, have an easy fast and be sealed for blessings of sweetness, health and joy in the Book of Life.
Rabbi Michael Barclay is the spiritual leader of the New Shul of the Conejo (tnsconejo.org), and can be reached at RabbiBarclay@aol.com.
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