February 22, 2020

The “just trying to help” type of evil. And who asked you anyway?

We all know a “dear soul” who offers up all sorts of unwelcome help or annoying advice or evil and rude comments. So what does Auntie suggest you do with these butinsky yentas who do not know their place? Why not politely put them back in their place using Auntie Jodi’s Helpful Hints #385:

As with every other area of our lives, it is best that we only take advice from those who actually have something helpful to say. This is a fairly obvious piece of advice—Remember—never take fashion tips from anyone who wears non-designer fanny packs—do not follow the political rants of a known bigot—and never, ever should you take relationship counsel from anyone who has been divorced more than three times.

It is amazing to Auntie that those who fail at marriage or careers or life would have the chutzpah to actually try to offer up their opinions or guidance to those of us who have relatively successful work lives or marriages or relationships. And for those of us on the receiving end of their idiotic ideas, it is best to follow Auntie’s mom by always taking a moment to “consider the source” before giving anyone any of your valuable time.

But are these people actually trying to help or manipulate? Are they friends or enemies? We will, most likely, never be able to shut their mouths, but we can certainly shut them out of our lives, using Auntie Jodi’s Helpful Hints #78:

Auntie Jodi does not believe in “frienemies.” You are either my friend or you are not my friend. She ardently believes that she does not belong in the same atelier as those frienemy people. Let’s just call those loathsome creatures manipulative losers, and be done with them.

And speaking of “frienemies” Auntie gets email: 

Dear Auntie Jodi, I’m planning a big party for my parents’ 50th anniversary, and keep getting bossy, unhelpful suggestions from two cousins. At this point, I’d like to disinvite them, but it’s too late. Do you have any suggestions? Signed, Not Kissing Those Cousins

Dear Not Kissing, Some people just can’t help themselves, can they? Rather than sending them to your permanent, real-life spam folder, have a memorized retort at the ready. Perhaps something like, “Thank you, I’ll think about that,” or “Great idea” when you have absolutely no plans to include those ideas into your party planning.  And finally, remember to use Auntie Jodi’s Helpful Hints #261:

When recieving guidance from another, do not ever let go of your gut instincts. Remember to only take the gems of wisdom that actually apply to you, and then, voila'—magical things will happen. The key here is to know what to take and what to leave behind.

Have a question for Auntie? Leave it in the comments below or follow and ask her on Twitter @JodiAdler