My father understands unwinnable conflicts. He has been fighting a personal war against time since 1911. \”Where does the time go?\” he is likely even now to be wondering out loud to a stack of magazines and mail he has yet to get to, but will.
Despite what your zayde or bubbe told you, your family name was not changed at Ellis Island. “The last names had to match the manifest when people arrived in the United States,” says Jan Meisels Allen, president of the Jewish Genealogical Society of Conejo Valley and Ventura County (JGSCV). Name changes are just one of many roadblocks an amateur Jewish genealogist might encounter while researching a family’s past. Political upheavals, border changes and the Holocaust all contribute to the difficulties American Jews often encounter when trying to research their family histories.
So far, things haven’t worked out as planned. My husband, Julian Voloj, immediately rejected Gabriel because he once knew one he didn’t like (though he did reluctantly admit that the evil Gabe was rather good-looking). Neshama was out because he disliked it; besides, we knew we were having a boy. Plus we are blessed that our parents and most of our grandparents are living, so the assorted permutations of their names I had long mulled over were, luckily, not under consideration. That left us more or less with a blank slate; filling it was much more difficult than I would have imagined.
Three times the Torah commands us to love: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 18:19), “You shall love the stranger” (Deuteronomy 10:19) and “You shall love the Lord your God” (Deuteronomy 6:5). Nowhere are we commanded to love our parents, our siblings, our children or even our spouse.
\” . . . I\’d met so many parents who are talented career people, but can be humbled to their knees by a 4-year-old. They\’d say, \’Betsy, what do I say? What do I do? Help!\’ — so I offer actual scripts that can be a starting point for parents . . . \’
In my new capacity as the son of an Alzheimer\’s victim, I have many questions. Some of them are Jewish questions. One kept me up for hours the other night, leading me to my bookshelf at 3 a.m., combing through volumes to see what insights I might glean. What happens to the soul during Alzheimer\’s?
Many executors have learned the hard way that they are not off the hook for mistakes just because they rely on the counsel of attorneys, accountants or other professional advisers.
Neither candidate on the campaign trail has spoken often on issues that matter to seniors, and when they have, it\’s been underreported by much of the media. So at the end of the day, how different are the candidates — and their respective political parties — from each other when it comes to issues of great importance to seniors, such as long-term care, Social Security, medical insurance and taxes?
Same-sex marriage is likely to remain a hot-button issue in the presidential race, with Prop. 8 backers looking to Sen. John McCain for ideological support, and opponents to Sen. Barack Obama.
For as long as rabbis have been arguing Talmud, their wives have been at home preparing Shabbat dinner. Yet that image, along with expectations for clergy spouses, has evolved. For one, they\’re no longer all women. They\’re no longer always hovering in the background. And they\’re not always different genders.
Photo: Rabbi Brian, Rabbi Deborah and Heshel Schuldenfrei
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