I don’t like things. I mean literally. I have an aversion to material things. I have spent enough time in therapy to understand from whence this bias comes. What I did not realize until now, however, was the power that aversion can truly hold. I had heard talk of such things, like how the power of the universe takes that which you fear or guard against and brings you more of that until you work out your issues around the thing itself. I kind of hoped this lesson wouldn’t touch the diamond in my engagement ring though.
We were at that mecca of a place called The Grove last week. I looked down, and suddenly realized the prongs that usually held my diamond now only held an empty space. I yelped. I was brought back to the bus I sat on some 20 years ago with a bunch of 8th graders. That same ring had been placed on my finger just a week prior. Something then made me look down only to discover that diamond was gone. Back then, I did more then yelp. The tears erupted, and I could do little to conceal them from the alarmed kids around me. They tried to help me search the dirty floor of the bus for anything that glistened, but, well, you know the floor of a school bus…
The Grove disappearance was the same but different. The tears did not come. Still, a young girl, this time my own child, demanded we retrace our steps. I didn’t want to seem doubtful, but, night-time plus big, outdoor shopping mall with already twinkly pavement and throngs of people did not seem the most promising equation. No diamond was found, and my hunch was the jeweler who made good on that previous engagement ring might not do so again.
I am still sad, but less angry at my poor finger. I kinda feel a sense of surrender. The peace that comes with honesty. Maybe I just cannot handle the responsibility of THINGS when I still feel confused by their place in my life. I get that things just happen, that a cigar can be JUST a cigar, but, maybe, there is some learning here about the laws of the universe. that which we resist, we might just get.
But boy I sure liked my engagement ring.
Come this week. Help shine your practices brightly for the likes of you AND me!
Wednesday and Friday , 9:15 and 8:30 am respectively, AND THEN I WILL BE ON VACATION THROUGH AUGUST 5.
in appreciation,
Michelle
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