November 19, 2018

Lunch with Leann Rimes

Last weekend while my son was in Calabasas for work, he went out to lunch with a friend. I was hoping to join them, but couldn’t make it out there in time, so they went out to eat on their own. This is the text thread between him and me from that day.




Charlie – You’ll never guess who is eating lunch at the next table.

Me – Who?

Charlie – Guess

Me – Tom Cruise

Charlie – Really mom? Tom Cruise is eating in Calabasas?

Me – It could happen.

Charlie – It’s not Tom Cruise

Me – Oprah!

Charlie. Wow Mom. Oprah is not here.

Me – Who is it then?

Charlie – Guess

Me – Oh. My. God. CELINE DION!

Charlie – You’re not even trying

Me – Who is it?

Charlie – Leann Rimes

Me – Glad I’m not with you or I’d be arrested

Charlie – Hahaha

Me – Give her my love

Charlie – Love you

Me – Love you too


Cut to two days later when I had dinner with Charlie. We were chatting and he said he was surprised I hadn’t asked if he took a picture of Leann. To be honest, I had forgotten about it. Now that I no longer write Keeping it Real, she is not someone I think about. I wrote about her when it was my job, then when it wasn’t my job, I moved on.  He showed me a picture he took and she looked like she always looks, not particularly good.


My son then told me she must simply not be photogenic, because in person she was very pretty. He said she was tiny and pretty, while Eddie was tall and handsome. He called them “two good looking people”, and when he looked at Leann and she looked back, she smiled. He said they seemed like normal people, out to eat just like him.


I have never met Leann. We certainly have a long history together, but do not know each other. I wrote about her because it was my job, not because I was particularly interested or invested in her. On the flip side, she became very interested and invested in me, going as far as to have me escorted out of a concert by armed sheriffs because she felt threatened. Bless her heart.


At the end of the day I wish her well. I still think she is bat shit crazy, but I wish her well. I appreciate she smiled at my son and think it is sweet my boy thought she was pretty. I’m certain that had I been with my son at lunch, she would have had absolutely no idea who I was. I was never anything to her but someone to focus her crazy on while her husband focused his energy elsewhere. At the end of the day, if I was willing to write about her craziness, I have to be impartial and also write when there is good stuff.


So Leann Rimes is a pretty girl, married to a handsome man, living her life. Good for her. I am now, as I have always been, writing about her because I get paid to. I have no skin in the games she plays. I’m just doing my job, and when this blog is posted, I will stop thinking about her again. She will read it and of course obsess about me, which I think is fascinating, but that’s to be expected from someone who isn’t keeping the faith.