November 16, 2018

Dating 101: Drama, Drama, Drama

Every time I think I cannot possibly be surprised by the world of dating, something happens to make me shake my head, throw my hands in the air, and laugh. By shake my head, of course I mean cry. By throw my hands in the air, of course I mean cry. By laugh, of course I mean cry. Boots dumped me almost 2 weeks ago and I've been coming to terms with it.

Important to clarify that Boots did not break up with me, he dumped me. Dropped me like a hot potato. We went from everything to nothing in the blink of an eye. By blink of the eye of course I mean his ex-girlfriend came back into the picture. By came back, of course I mean she never left. My relationship with Boots was never going to end well and he knew it.

Not only did he know it, but I believe he used our relationship to try and get her back. He wanted very much for me to protect his privacy, but did not protect mine. He let her know about my blog and she read everything I wrote about him and us. She saw him through my eyes and it resulted in my getting dumped. That wasn’t quite enough closure for her however.

I got an email from this woman today. When I got it I laughed. By laughed of course I mean I actually laughed. She is pathetic and sadly so is he because when I told him about it, he called me a liar and said if I ever cared about him I would send him the email immediately. Interesting. By interesting of course I mean these people have officially become uninteresting.

She does not want to be with him. I will go one step further and say that she doesn’t want him to be happy. It is not about anything other than screwing him. She could not stand someone valued him in a real way. I feel sad for her. That is an exhausting way to live your life. He is never going to be to her what he was to me, so she took advantage of his unresolved feelings.

As for him, it could be as simple as he loves her. I love the idea of love and am searching for it myself, so I understand. There is no shame in wanting back what you lost, it is a shame however that he couldn’t find a way to engage her again without using my blog and my heart as bait. The door has closed on Boots. Not only is it closed, but bolted shut. He is unworthy of me.

Maybe he will get her back, but he'll be miserable because a relationship between them will require him to give up on happiness and accept a life where he is blamed for everything. He will be viewed as selfish rather than magnificent. At the end of the day it is none of my business. I hope I never hear from either one of them again. I am finally walking away from all of it.

It wasn’t enough that he cowardly blamed me for getting dumped, he added insult to injury by calling me a liar. I am a lot of things, but a liar is not one of them. To imply I lied about her after everything he told me about her, would indicate it is in fact him who is a liar. I'll hang onto her email for a rainy day. By rainy day of course I mean a blog about mental illness. Sorry. Not sorry.

Lucky for me I look pretty when I cry, so I win. I dodged a bullet, so I win again. I get to move on and he is stuck in the past, so I actually win the jackpot. While a little humiliating for me, it is an epic fail for him. In the end Boots is a loser and life goes on.  My heart remains hopeful. Lessons were learned so I am grateful and keeping the faith.