February 20, 2019

Haunted by History

Yesterday I was with someone I care about very much and at a rather unfortunate moment, I had a bit of an emotional breakdown. It was horrible and I find myself rather shaken by it today. I look pretty when I cry, but this was not cute. I could feel the tears coming and before I could will them away, I was crying. We talked through it, I was comforted and the day went on, but I struggled to recover and never quite got there. I’m still trying to regain my footing.

The most interesting people have stories, experiences, and history. I think I am an interesting person. I have a lot of stories, many of which are shared here. I have experienced many things, and have a long list of things I still hope to do. I have a history that has made me who I am, but on occasion has tried to define me. Yesterday I was haunted by history and as hard as I tried to silence it, my history not only appeared uninvited, but tried to take over.

I am grounded by faith. Faith in myself and my religion. It is through faith that I have lived my life defined by what I do, not by what others have done to me. Today I am weak, but hopeful that tomorrow I will be strong. This too shall pass and in the end I pray good will win over evil. To anyone who is fighting against their own history today, know I am in your corner and extending my hand. Tomorrow is coming, so hang on and keep the faith.