November 16, 2018

My 50th Birthday Party

For the past 20 years I have spent my birthday with my son having dinner, occasionally including a friend or two, or the man I was in a relationship with. I literally cannot remember my last birthday party. I am not one to make a big deal out of my birthday, but turning 50 was different. My son felt I should mark the occasion with a party, as did my close girlfriends, so the decision was made. I was having a party.

I went through my Facebook, phone, and address book. I thought about who I would invite since I know a lot of people, but more importantly than having a lot of bodies there, I wanted to see faces that matter to me on a deeper level. I made a list, sent an invitation, and waited. I had no idea who would come, but I knew whoever turned up would be someone I really wanted there. I felt bad to not include more people, but was happy.

It was an eclectic group and with each person that arrived, my heart sang.  In addition to feeling love for them, I quickly lost feeling in my gums as everyone was buying me drinks. I quickly went from happy, to giddy, to drunk, to hammered. It was fantastic and though I can’t remember what I said, I went around the table and talked about why everyone there mattered to me. I hope I didn’t slur my words. 

I have been blessed with wonderful friends. My family lives in Canada, so I built a family here. From Andy and Patrick, who have taught me what love looks like, to Julie, who showed me the joy of Judaism, to Sue and Laura, who were by my side as we raised our kids, to Marcy, who valued our friendship when I couldn’t, these people are family. I am blessed to have wonderful friends. 

Thank you to Debi, Steve, Michael, Barbara, Todd, Jason, Pam, John, and Dana. To Alison, your gift is beyond. Seriously, you are magic. To Dana R., I can’t wait for a play date with Darby. To Lauren, Steven & Phoebe, I miss your faces. I'll look back at my 50th birthday party with joy. I’ll need to look at the pictures however to remember details. If I left your name out forgive me. It’s your fault for buying me a Cosmo!

It was an amazing party, with amazing people, and I am so glad it happened. It was wonderful for me and my son to be with so many people who have mattered in our lives. My son is a wonderful human being and starting my celebration with him in San Francisco, and wrapping it up with important friends, was terrific. He is my heart and has made every day special and meaningful. I love him, but had no idea how sneaky he could be.

Turns out my son took video of me during our ride home, as we walked into our home, and my drunken stupor once I was home. He got me laughing at myself, making faces, and trying to make him laugh. Singing, talking about my friends, and crying. It really is very funny. I am completely harmless and painfully funny when drunk. If drinks make the truth come out, then I apparently really love my friends and think my son is perfection.

For the rest of my life I will know my son is one click away from sharing my drunk videos with the world, but the party was worth it. It will be fun for me to look back at them because although drunk, I was happy and free.  I am 50. No big deal. I do not feel 50, or look 50, and the most dramatic thing about the milestone was getting an AARP card in the mail. Those bastards could have waited five minutes before getting in touch. Seriously.

I am going on a date tonight, the first one in my 50’s. He is only 47 so I’m not sure if that qualifies me as a cougar, but hopefully it will be a good date and he will be a decent guy. I received a lot of messages telling me life is fabulous in your 50’s and I should expect wonderful things to happen. I have a happy and healthy son, family, friends, work, and my health, so I’m not sure how much better it can get, but I am keeping the faith.