January 20, 2019

Dating Donald Trump

I had a date last week. To clarify, I had a really great date last week. I was nervous about going because it has been a while since I went on a date that didn’t make me want to impale myself, or go to the bathroom and climb out a window. Dating is rough. It requires a level of bravery I must dig deep to find. I'm hopeful, so I date, and say a prayer.

We met for a drink and the moment I saw him I took a sigh of relief. He looked like his picture, which is unusual. He was tall, dark, handsome, and smiled with warmth. We hugged hello, settled in for a chat, and there was an immediate spark. We laughed easily, talked comfortably, and began the dance of getting to know each other.  

We spoke of dating, our kids, religion, and even politics. Everything was going great until he crossed to the dark side and said he supported Trump. When he mentioned it my lower back started to spasm, and I think my eye began to twitch. I couldn't hide my obvious disgust and suddenly saw him differently, which was unfortunate.

I may have actually laughed in his face and rolled my eyes. He took it in stride because he is a gentlemen, but I couldn't seem to let it go. I don't understand how anyone would think Donald Trump is qualified to be President of the United States, and our easy banter became accusatory and confrontational. By banter, of course I mean me.

As he explained why Trump had his vote, he touched my leg with his hand. I couldn’t help but wonder if I would be able to let hands that voted for Trump touch my boobs. I struggled with this question as he explained how Trump would make America great again. Dear Lord. No way this man was ever going to get to touch my boobs.

I tried to set aside Trump. I thought about James Carville and Mary Matalin. They've successfully separated love from politics for decades. I thought we could be like them! Then I remembered Trump isn't really a politician, and his running for president isn't really about politics. He is an egomaniac motivated by power and hatred.

Not only is Trump trying to ruin America, he is ruining my dating life! The truth is that while this man asked me out again, I haven't heard from him. Perhaps upon reflection he was offended by my visible disgust of Trump. It’s been a week so I assume I'll never really know why he didn’t call, but I feel quite comfortable blaming Trump.

The truth is that if he did call and ask me out again, I would go. If only to apologize for making fun of his opinions of Trump. He is a lovely man and we had a great date, which is a rare thing. At the end of the day he may be a Jewish girls dream because Trump will never win and I'd have a lifetime of saying I told you so with no guilt!

I am contemplating revising my dating profile to include: “Has a physical reaction to the mention of Donald Trump”. Back to the drawing board I guess. Never before have political affiliations mattered when dating, but they sure as hell do now. I am officially a pro-America – anti-Trump dater, who is keeping the faith.