November 19, 2018

Happy Valentine’s Day

My Mom turned 72 on February 10th, and for her birthday I sent her to Israel. My cousin is getting married on Monday and so as a surprise I sent her home, to the country and people she loves. She cried when I told her she was going, and kept saying it was special because it was the last trip she would make to Israel. It made me want to go to Canada, as it has been too long since I went home. I was both happy and sad for her.

Happy because it is my pleasure to do nice things for her. I love her very much and we speak on the phone twice a day. She is my Mother, but also my friend. I trust her and am very aware of how lucky I am to have the relationship we do. When I spoke with my mom this morning she sounded so happy I cried when we hung up. I will remember hearing the joy in her voice for the rest of my life. It was magic and I was moved by it.

February 13th marked the 13th anniversary of the passing of my Dad. I cried for most of the day and went through wedding pictures of my sisters, my brother, and me. I never thought I would lose my Dad so young and so to go back and see him walk all three of his daughters down the aisle is special. To watch him and my mother look at their youngest child, and only son, as he married his wife is amazing, but a reminder he left too soon.

My parents have 8 beautiful, healthy, and wonderful grandchildren. My Dad only got to meet four of them, which is crushing. I am angry, sad, bitter, and grateful. Angry he is gone, sad he is not coming back, bitter Cancer came into our lives, and grateful for every single second I was with my Dad. He was a wonderful human being and my family is still reeling from the loss, all these years later. I am lucky because I see my Dad in my son.

My son is taking the world by storm and I am blessed to be watching it happen. He is funny, smart, talented, and aware of the world around him. He is decent, fair, kind, and believes in taking care of the planet. When my son was 4 years old he announced that he wanted to be an actor when he grew up. I thought it would pass, just as being a karate champion and a fireman did. He never changed his course however. He stuck with it.

He is now a working actor, following his dream, and perfecting his craft. He is not satisfied to just work, he wants to learn, get better, and dream big. It is thrilling to see him on my television and when I do, I marvel at how well he is doing. Not that he is doing well, but that he has been working on this for 14 years and never once lost his focus or desire. He is a remarkable person and one of the lucky few who has always had a plan.

I am spending this morning with my son. He loves me and I know it, which is the greatest gift anyone who loves you can give. I don’t ever have to wonder if he loves me. We are friends, and we respect each other, so even when we disagree there is love. He makes me laugh. Regardless of stress, worry, fear, pain, or sorrow, he makes me laugh. I have raised a remarkable young man and I am grateful. My heart is wrapped around my child.

This year has just begun, but already promises to bring wonderful things. I am healthy, happy, and ready for all the good changes that are coming. Last week was very emotional. I woke up to flowers, a video chat with my Mom in Israel, and a peace of mind that comes from love. I wish you all a very Happy Valentine’s Day. I send you love and a prayer if you need one. I am blessed, and quite certain it is because I am keeping the faith.