Real Housewives of New Jersey Week 4 Recap
Typos are lovingly provided by Jose Cuervo.
– I’m not feeling great this week
– Bullet points are happening
– Next week I’ll do a regular blog
– Jose makes me feel better
– He’s here loving on me and my liver
– Bless him
– I got distracted by the Dodgers last night
– Great game and I don’t even like baseball
– Teresa’s dad is adorable
– Teresa’s kids are entertaining
– Who doesn’t know to dry pork chops?
– Cookbooks up the wazoo and this was a surprise?
– Teresa is not a single mom
– Teresa’s mom passed a month ago
– Milania is struggling
– The girls have grown up a lot
– That kid needs her own show
– Siggy visits with Dolores
– Siggy is now good with Margaret
– Dolores doesn’t trust Margaret
– Siggy talks shit about Margaret
– Why make up then talk shit?
– Siggy is not being cool
– Dolores is pissed about all of it
– Siggy is having a party at her house
– Selling handbags like MaryKay
– Dolores will go and it will be ugly
– Melissa is painfully unappealing
– Joe Gorga is the watchable one in this couple
– Margaret and her husband are over for dinner
– They ask about how Margaret met her husband
– Why speak so lightly about an affair?
– They broke up two families
– Margaret is gross
– Melissa has a blown up book cover in her pool room
– She’s the only who read that book
– Margaret tells Melissa about meeting with Siggy
– Melissa is still mad at Siggy
– Who cares?
– Margaret needs a new lipstick color
– How do Melissa and Joe afford that house?
– Cut to Siggy and her son
– She wants to hang out with him all the time
– He is not into it
– He doesn’t get why this would hurt her
– She sounds just like me right now
– Siggy will cry in three, two, one
– I made my kid watch this
– He laughed
– They just don’t get it
– Melissa is visiting Teresa
– Melissa asks if Audriana does yoga
– Has Melissa met these kids?
– Fake TV relationship
– Melissa tells Teresa Joe bought a restaurant
– He actually told Tre first
– Melissa doesn’t want to be in business with Teresa
– She wants everything else of hers so why not?
– Margaret runs her business out of her house
– Can she not afford office space?
– Margaret’s mom is into sex
– Sig invites Margaret to her party
– Margaret can’t make it
– Teresa is lunching with Danielle and Melissa
– Danielle is still talking shit about Dolores
– Danielle is a trashy fame whore
– Bless her
– Melissa wants an apology from Siggy
– Teresa is taking her kids to Puerto Rico
– Melissa gives Teresa parenting advice
– Teresa and Joe are setting up the restaurant
– This feels fake to me
– Melissa is 45 minutes late
– Teresa and Melissa are exhausting together
– Teresa will cook and Melissa will be the hostess
– Melissa won’t wait tables
– Cut to Dolores and Siggy
– Dolores is staging her boyfriend’s house to sell
– Siggy talks about the tension with her son
– Dolores gets it as they are in the same place
– I love Siggy as a mother
– Until she talks about her vag
– Creepy to reference her vag to her son’s girlfriend’s vag
– Milania is perfection
– Back to Tre, Milania gets an email from Joe
– Sweet, touching, scripted
– Time for Siggy’s party
– She’s loud, which I like, but screeches, which I don’t
– Siggy is still talking about the cake
– I want to impale myself
– I’m two shots in
– Danielle makes my teeth hurt
– Danielle tells Teresa Dolores talks shit about her
– I don’t believe it
– Not one word
– Teresa believes Danielle
– I call bullshit
– Dolores is beautiful
– Melissa arrives and Sig goes right in
– Siggy is not handling this well
– I want to shake her so she’ll stop
– Oh. My. God.
– Siggy tells her guest to shut up so she can yell
– She then humiliates Melissa to make a point
– Siggy has officially lost her mind
– This can’t be blamed on editing
– Poor girl has got to let this go
– Melissa is embarrassed
– Siggy lays on the floor
– I can’t
– It makes me sad when reality TV Jews act crazy
– I hope Sig can make this right
– Teresa tells Sig to shut up about the cake
– Dolores stands up for Siggy
– Siggy sits quietly and lets Dolores go it alone
– Not cool
– Dolores is livid and tells Teresa she has her back too
– Danielle tells Dolores she spoke shit about Tre
– Dolores denies saying it
– Dolores calls Danielle a scumbag
– Dolores tells Teresa to sleep with one eye open
– Then calls Danielle a starving, hungry, bitch
– My favorite NJ line since prostitution whore
– Coincidentally about the same girl
– Danielle’s lack of eyebrows is distracting
– Dolores tells Teresa to pick a side
– Teresa doesn’t know who to believe
– Can she seriously be that dumb?
– Danielle fake cries
– Siggy does not defend Dolores
– That is just gross
– Danielle leaves
– Teresa and Melissa leave with her
– I am over Danielle
– I believe Dolores
– I don’t like Margaret
– I think Teresa is confused
– I wonder what Melissa’s IQ is
– I hope Siggy can get it together
– I love Jose
– I’ll be back next week
– With a good old fashioned blog
– Drinking and keeping it real
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