Real Housewives of New Jersey Week 3 Recap
Typos are generously provided by Grey Goose.
I didn’t get a chance to blog last night because I was out for dinner and drinks with some real housewives of New Jersey. I had a great time with Siggy and Dolores. Siggy is my Israeli sister and Dolores was nothing like what I thought she would be. I’m going to need to devote an entire blog to Dolores so look for that this weekend. In the meantime, I am going to bullet point this week because I’m tired and there is a bottle of Grey Goose calling my name from the kitchen. I can hear it. Seriously.
- Margaret needs a stylist
- Margaret is a fraud
- Google it
- Her house is a mess
- She says because her husband is a control freak
- Translation: They don’t have money to finish their house
- Cut to Siggy and her husband
- Siggy is still mad at Margaret
- Margaret tells her staff Siggy is unhinged
- Margaret is a twat
- She’s also a homewrecker and a skank
- That is from her own story so relax
- Dolores and Frank – do not get it
- Good for them for putting their kids first
- I couldn’t do it
- Tre’s dad is moving in with her
- Love Teresa
- Love her dad
- Melissa makes my back spasm
- I’m doing shot #1
- Everyone is recapping Boca
- Leave the recapping to the professionals
- Time to look at ugly clothes at Envy
- That store can’t really make money
- Margaret “designs” her own prints
- Translation: She steals designs
- Google it
- Danielle turns up
- Google it
- Waaaaaaaaay too much filler
- Siggy has blocked Margaret on social media
- Margaret is having a party in her shithole
- She calls to invite Sig
- Sig declines the invite
- She is still too upset to fake it with Margaret
- Bravo Siggy
- Dolores is having dinner with her son and ex-husband
- I’ll empty the dishwasher now
- Dolores needs a storyline.
- Melissa is painfully fake
- Joe is fun to watch
- Melissa is useless on this show
- I’m guessing there is a bankruptcy looming
- Bless them
- Siggy and Teresa meet for a drink
- Siggy says sorry
- Teresa says sorry
- Life goes on
- Siggy hates Margaret
- Hate is a strong word
- Try “strongly despise”
- That’s what all of us watching are using
- Cocktail #1
- Joe bought a restaurant
- I call bullshit
- He can’t pay attention let alone pay a bill
- The meatball wants to sell meatballs
- Blah, blah, blah
- Tre is writing another book
- Margaret has a stuffed bear in her house
- Is that shit real?
- PETA can you see this?
- If that is real she is grosser than I thought
- Her house is super dirty
- No money for a housekeeper
- Melissa wants Margaret to help her in business
- Margaret’s ovens don’t work
- Translation: Didn’t pay the utility bill
- Just saying
- Siggy and Dolores are not going to Margaret’s house
- They both have pigtails
- Fucking hilarious
- Dolores gives Sig a picture of them
- Siggy opens a frame, but doesn’t put the pic in
- That is going to bug me
- Margaret’s ex-husband is there
- The one she cheated on
- I can’t
- Who paid to turned lights on?
- Dolores and Siggy are in face masks
- So much more fun at Siggy’s house
- Margaret needs a new lipstick
- Teresa says Dolores is a minion of Siggy
- Dolores is not a minion of anyone
- Sig and Dolores are perfection together
- Teresa tells Margaret Siggy hates her
- Margaret texts Siggy from her party
- Scripted much?
- Margaret invites Siggy out
- Dolores calls Margaret out on her bullshit
- Siggy says she’ll meet her
- Dolores tells Sig not to go
- Shot #2
- The sit down begins
- Siggy is explaining herself
- Margaret is a twat
- She’s also an idiot
- Siggy is hilarious
- Margaret thinks she is Joan Rivers
- Sorry Joan
- Rest in Peace Joan
- Sig tells Margaret she needs to be medicated
- I think Sig wins this battle
- Siggy starts to cry
- Siggy is frustrated
- Margaret thinks Margaret is really funny
- Not so much
- Margaret is delusional about Margaret
- I’m going to need more vodka
- Next week we’re getting classic Jersey
- I’ll be here
- Drinking and keeping it real
FYI: This happened!
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