November 19, 2018

Real Housewives of New York City Week 13 Recap

Typos are provided by Skyy Vodka.

This evening I am joined for the first time by Skyy Vodka. Sometimes you’ve just got to shake things up so I am pairing the ladie’s Vermont ski trip with Skyy, who I am happy to welcome into my life and my blog.  As promised, I am doing a full length blog this evening. Hopefully Skyy will be smooth because I need a cocktail and Jose is standing by. We ended last week with Tinsley whining, which was painful, so hopefully that has passed and they’ve move on.

Hooray! Morning has arrived and the whining is over. Ramona is making breakfast, Dorinda is passing on the skiing, and Luann is ready to hit the slopes. Bethenny is up and leaving to ski without eating breakfast with the girls. Ramona takes Sonja a cup of coffee while Bethenny takes Tinsely aside and tells her she is sorry for going after Tinsley. Very nice Bethenny. It is sweet and I find myself liking her more and more. Bethenny has single handedly saved this show. Bravo.

Bethenny leaves and everyone else eats breakfast. Sonja is “transitioning” to Luann’s marriage. Dear Lord. The woman is funny. Luann is pretentious and still tucking. Bless her. Luann is still waiting on an apology for Sonja’s sex talk about tom, but again does not apologize, but talks again about transitioning WITH tom and Luann. Hilarious. I love Sonja on this show, but Lu could leave and Ramona must leave. I’d even be happy with Carole staying if they left.

Dorinda gave up the bigger room and is anxiously awaiting everyone getting out of the house. Ramona has arranged for a ski instructor for her and one for Sonja. She takes the young one and gives the old one to Sonja. Typical according to Sonja, then she tells us the young guy is not banging Ramona. Hilarious she felt she needed to tell us that. We all know it is never going to happen. Ever. Ramona is delusional and while it used to be cute, it isn’t anymore.

Dorinda and Carole are in the lounge chatting while the others ski. The gossiping begins. Luann is bitching about Sonja. Ugh. Luann is delusional and needs to let it go. Bethenny is using a Skinnygirl snowboard, which I suppose I get, but Luann is mean about it. Luann is awfully bitter for someone who claims to be so happy. Ramona is being ridiculous while Carole and Dorinda move onto talking about Tinsely. Luann and Bethenny are the best skiers in the group.

Carole is telling Dorinda all about Bethenny’s shit. On camera. Not cool. Unless he was asked to do it. Whatever. There are two sides to every story and we don’t know either one, so no need to comment. I wish them all well and send nothing but good wishes to the beautiful young lady in the middle of it all. I have been in a similar situation and at the risk of contradicting myself, I think I am Team Bethenny on this one. Divorce can make the nicest man insane.

Back at the slopes, Bethenny’s stressed out be Ramona and not sure how Mexico will go because she doesn’t want her there, but also doesn’t want to not include her. Luann says she is only coming for a couple of days and says she can bring Ramona with her, so she is not there for the whole trip. Genius. Speaking of Ramona, she is making a fool out of herself with the ski instructor. Dorinda is chatting to him about the neighborhood and Ramona sends him off like a waiter.

Ugh. I just can’t with this woman. She is ruining this show. Carole reminds Ramona that he is being paid to be sweet to her. Carole is funny today. Who knew that was even possible? Bethenny joins and Dorinda is mortified by how the ski instructor is being treated. It is “beyond Cougar”, which is hilarious. Ramona says she’s having the best time, and she isn’t sure who’s idea the trip was. Really? She knows it was Bethenny’s trip and simply cannot be kind. Ramona is a twat.

Meanwhile Tinsely is getting smashed, but also medicated to get balanced. She makes a point of saying she is not trying to numb anything, which translates into her wanting to numb herself. Dear Lord. The woman needs an intervention. Bethenny is reading the gossip about her ex-husband and suffering in silence. Back to Ramona real quick, she has taken off her shoes AND socks and has her bare feet on the chair in the lodge. Ramona is disgusting and lacks class.

Cut to Carole and Bethenny alone and Carole copping up to what she told Dorinda. Seems a little scripted to me. Luann tries to start a fire and almost lights herself up. She then goes to see Ramona and Sonja talk about Mexico. Sonja tells her she was invited but Ramona wasn’t. Luann tells her she is invited, but for a shorter time. Sonja is thrilled, Ramona is insulted, and downstairs Bethenny is not at all surprised that Ramona has high jacked her trip with a dinner.

Tinsley is talking about shopping and slurring her words. Ramona is licking Bethenny’s ass, and the wine is flowing. They are going to play truth or dare and Carole is talking with her mouth full. Ugh. Carole asks how old they were when they had anal. Tinsley answers because it was with her husband, which makes it okay. Dorinda says it is unnatural and against nature. Interesting. They quickly turn to the size of John’s penis and tonguing the waiters. Oy vey.

Carole talks about sex with George Clooney and Ramona is asked how many men she’s slept with since her divorce. She says 3. Not buying it. Nobody is sleeping with Ramona. Ramona also says that blow jobs are not intimate and do not qualify as sex. Luann suggests she is better off being married and all hell breaks loose. Dorinda is getting sloppy and tells Luann to knock it off about being married already, and Luann just wants to have a honeymoon phase. Dear Lord.

Dorinda is going on and on about Luann and her marriage, then Bethenny sticks up for Luann, saying her road to marriage was bumpy and she wants to enjoy the moment. Dorinda tells Bethenny she’s disappointed in her about face on the topic. Dorinda is hammered and sloppy and it is once again unattractive. Ugh. They end on an apology from Luann, a poem from Carole, and a shit show toast from Sonja. Perfect. Skyy was great and I’ll be back next week, keeping it real.