January 22, 2019

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion Part 1 Recap

Typos are lovingly provided by Absolute.

After a season that found me feeling real hatred for Rinna, and real love for Kyle and LVP, nobody is happier it is over than my liver. The reunion is always fun, usually enlightening, and entertaining enough to make us wish it was not over. I’m in London, I’ve got lots of vodka, and I’m ready to go.

The ladies look beautiful, but I don’t get Eileen’s hair. Is flat hair a new thing? No. No, it isn’t. Andy starts by talking about DWTS as Erika is dancing this season. I don’t watch, but I imagine she’s a great dancer but not particularly appealing. Her personality gets lost in translation on TV. Bless her.

We start with a recap of Erika’s season, but Andy turns to Dorit with a question. I don’t get why Erika’s season is about Dorit. There is clearly an attack beginning, and that is too bad. Erika has a hard on for Dorit and that is obviously taking a lead here. Interesting but harsh approach for Andy.

Talk turns to Erika’s meltdown about her son being a police officer. I get her fear, don’t get her reaction to Eileen’s comment. I think Erika is unkind to her mother, even though she tries to make it sound like she’s not. I love Erika Jayne, but it turns out I don’t like Erika Girardi as much. Weird.

Time to review LVP and Rinna. Nothing interesting going to happen here so I’m going to make a drink. By make of course I mean simply pour vodka over ice. Rinna brings up the passing of LVP’s friend and I think it is shitty. Rinna is shitty. Try all she wants to appear to be compassionate, it ain’t happening.

We take a look at Dorit’s season and the attacking continues She is clearly the target for the reunion. Whatever. Dorit defends her lifestyle, her nannies, and her accent. At the end of the day I really like Dorit. Don’t get all the help or the accent, but I like her and I like how her husband loves her.

There seems to be more videos of the season than actual talking, but maybe that will change by part two. I hope so. It would appear they are keeping the good stuff for later in the reunion because there is nothing happening here folks and we are almost through part one. PK has joined the ladies on the couch.

Again with the panties. Ugh. Sidebar: Does anyone else want to punch Rinna in the face? I’m asking for a friend. I don’t think I can listen to this topic being hashed out again. Why the hell is Rinna talking for Erika. She needs to shut up. She also needs to be fired. Part one was a waste of time. Just keeping it real.