November 17, 2018

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Weeks 14 Recap

Typos are sadly brought to you by Sedafed.

I’m not sure how I missed a week, but it appears that I did, so I will have two RHOBH blogs this week. I am in London and have a miserable cold, so I cannot drink, which means I might have to impale myself to get through two weeks. My beloved Jose Cuervo is taking a break and my favorite Grey Goose does not go well with Sudafed, so I am fending for myself. I will be bullet pointing these as I must get through it quickly without the booze to help make it watchable.

 Kyle is lunching with Dorit, while Eileen is eating with Erika. They are eating at Sweet Butter in the valley, which is weird, as they love in Pasadena and Malibu. I wonder what these places pay to get on a show like this. Sweet Butter is my neighborhood breakfast place and it is awesome, so good for them, but seems so fake for anyone in the know. Whatever. Erika is going to Georgia to visit her mother. Kyle is throwing another party at her store. Enough already.

I am not a fan of going back and forth between conversations, but they are doing it. I just realized I am not ding bullet point. Oy vey! I’ll keep going this way until my liver begs for a drink. We’ll see how long I can go. Cut to Rinna, who is filming with her dog because nobody wants to be around her. Rinna is an absolute dumbass and I do not get how they can possible keep her after this season. She should have been fired after the last one, but we’re stuck with her.

Rinna is a vicious twat who lies like it is her job. Kyle and Dorit are talking about her, as are LVP and Ken. LVP is asking what we are all wondering, why does Kyle give Rinna such a pass?  Kyle should get Rinna fired in the same way she got Brandi fired. Kyle is the most likeable she has ever been and would take her popularity to a whole new level if she got rid of Rinna. Time for Kyle’s party at her store for The Fat Jewish. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Bless him.

FYI: the only person who thinks Rinna is funny, is in fact Rinna. Dorit falls getting out of the car at the party. More interesting is that none of the paps take her picture. Both were quite funny. Eileen keeps saying Erika is going to be on “her “ show. Why not plug Y&R since it is not actually her show? Dorit and Erika are just not mixing well, which you know will blow up soon. LVP is going to Hong Kong to work on stopping the Yulin Dog Festival and Invites Erika.

Erika invites Eileen, and LVP is pissed. By pissed of course I mean this is the big trip and of course everyone is going, but the fakery is lame. Den is also coming. Really? I’m desperate for a drink. Cut to LVP making lunch for Dorit, Erika, and Kyle. We hear that Kim is now a grandma. Mazel Tov. The little trip to Hong Kong is now the season’s big trip. What a surprise. Erika is talking a lot about her mother so that will be her storyline I guess. Not cool really.

Erika is bashing her mom, trying to make it sound like she is not bashing, but it is bashing. Dorit and Erika are clashing again. For the love of God. I cannot watch this show without a drink. By drink of course I mean drinks. I have never wanted to make out with my boyfriend Jose more.Erika is off to Atlanta with her glam squad. Over to Kyle, she is visiting Kim with Grandbaby gifts. Kim looks happy and healthy and whole. I love her and want her back.

Erika tells us about her grandmother getting Alzheimer’s. She is emotional and it is sad, but I don’t think anyone can claim one disease is the worse in the world. That rubbed me wrong, but whatever. Rika continues to bash her mom while not wanting us to think she is bashing. It seems unkind to me. I am not digging this path and hope it does not end with my not respecting Erika. She is fabulous in anyway and I just wish she would leave her momma alone.

Jumping to LVP, she is getting her doggy sanctuary t up. Perfection. I never thought I would say this, but I love this woman and I love her mission. Bravo. She has Rinna over so she can invite her to Hong Kong. Damn it. I was hoping Rinna wouldn’t go. LVP looks gorgeous in her one-on-one interviews. She tells Rinna to take off and hand over her eyelashes. Rinna does it, which is pathetic and hilarious. The Queen of manipulations reigns and the lashes are off.

Cut to Georgia, Erika is going to visit the graves of her grandmother and grandfather. She is speaking as if her grandmother was a saint, while sill passive aggressively bashing her mom. Not digging this at all. She praises her grandmother for always giving it to her straight, yet does not appreciate that in her mother. There is more to this than we are getting, and It makes me uncomfortable. One week own and one to go. No booze, but I’m keeping it real.