November 17, 2018

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Week 13 Recap

Typos are lovingly provided by Jose Cuervo.

I had to watch this episode three times because I kept getting buried under massive amounts of bullshit and couldn’t breathe. Maybe I couldn’t breathe because I was laughing at the crap coming out of Rinna’s painfully big mouth. Perhaps I couldn’t breathe due to all the tequila I was drinking to get through it. Either way, there was a whole lot of garbage and it was all coming out of Rinna.

We start with Kyle organizing her garage. Really? How is this interesting? Also, as a professional organizer, I never put labels on the outside of a cupboard. Label your boxes, create an index, and put it on the inside of the door. Kyle looks very pretty these days. Good for her. She fake calls LVP to set up the dinner at her house. This could have been set up without the scripted pieces of useless silliness.

Kyle has invited everyone to her home. Whoever is writing this clearly drinks more than I do. Cut to Eileen, she is with Erika and Vince practicing for Y&R. They have been dragging this Y&R thing out forever and while I am thrilled for Erika, this is a bit boring already. I like Ashley Abbot more than I like Eileen Davidson. Has Erika even been on Y&R yet? Vince is an acting coach now? Blah, blah, blah. I’m done.

Over to Rinna, she is calling Harry Hamlin and I want to impale myself. She starts by saying he needs to take the kids to school. If she is home and calling him, he is not home, and the party is tonight, when exactly is he taking the kids to school? He’s not. This is a desperate attempt to paint them as normal and involved parents. Does Rinna seriously think we are all stupid? Please fire her already.

Rinna is blowing smoke up Harry’s ass. She is admitting she said shit about Kim, but saying it was because she was upset about game night. Rinna is still claiming she does not remember everything, but has decided she said bad things. Rinna is mentally deficient and Harry trying to spin that Rinna was trying to help Kim is pathetic. Harry and Rinna are delusional and they really need to fuck off.

Rinna keeps saying she is saying “her” truth. How about “THE” truth for a change? Time to move on to LVP. She is showing us her new dog center, and is speaking of Yulin. No matter what you think about this woman on this show, or any show actually, she is a remarkable human being who is doing work on behalf of dogs that needs to be not only listened to, but commended. LVP and Ken are heroes here.

Watching Ken and LVP speak of the video he saw from Yulin, rips my heart out. I cried and I wish them success with their mission. If every person of privilege with a platform made the efforts they make for something they believe in, the world would be a better place. I must mention watching LVP trip while walking in flats is everything. Heals aren’t a problem, but sneakers were rough? Perfection.

Time for Kyle to do a commercial for Carnie Wilson’s new baking venture. I have met Carnie several times at our local farmer’s market and she is always, sweet, kind, funny, and approachable. She is a great girl so good for her she has this opportunity. Kim seems to like meeting Carnie, but is not interested in her sobriety. I’m not sober, but I’m thinking sober comparisons would be quite annoying.

Kim looks great and is there with her sponsor. Odd to me that Kyle hasn’t met Kim’s sponsor, but then again, not odd at all. Rinna is in the car with Erika, and tells her she said what she was accused of saying. She tells Erika as much and Erika is not surprised. She lets Rinna know she is going to get it. Rinna laughs and the entire thing is dirty and messy and dripping with desperation. Rinna simply must go.

Sidebar: I know I say a lot that people should be let go from these shows, but that is just part of the game. I watch, I blog, I follow the show, I have opinions. I don’t really care either way because this is just my job, but when it comes to Rinna, I sincerely think she needs to be released from the show. She is hurtful and mean and a pathological liar who brings nothing of interest. Time to fire her boney ass.

Everyone is arriving to Kyle’s with way too much makeup and overdressed to eat cake.  Bless them.  I like Kyle and LVP’s friendship this season. It is on another level, which is visible and oddly appreciated. LVP is lovely to Kim and brings a gift for the baby. Eden arrives and is painfully out of place. She is uncomfortable in her own skin and while I get her wanting to do the show, but it is not a good fit.

Rinna arrives and LVP is riling her up. Love it. Rinna’s voice makes me cringe and her kissing Kim after all the shit she said is lame and Kim should burn that bunny. Kim knows Rinna is fake and has no time for her. Bravo. Kim needs to come back full time. She looks amazing and has earned back her spot. Camille arrives, and yes, she should come back too. Camille is a great housewife and I want more of her.

Kim cannot stand to be close to Eden so she bales and sits separate. Rinna pulls Eileen off on her their own and tells her she said the shit about Kim. Rinna is spinning some ridiculous story about why she said what she said, and it is stupid. Rinna a liar and a bitch and she said shitty things because she is shitty. She says she meant well, and means well, and Eileen is shitty for believing Rinna’s shit.

Another quick Carnie commercial, then Kyle goes to pull Rinna and Eileen back into the group. Rinna is about to tell Kyle, then Carnie comes in, and again, the writers are hammered. Everyone is talking cake and Rinna decides to come clean in front of the whole party. For the love of God! This is so painfully stupid I can hardly stand it. Rinna is an idiot and there is simply no way around it. I am so over Rinna.

Kyle is pissed off, and Kim calls Rinna out on her bullshit. Eden says nothing, but LVP jumps in to remind Rinna how dirty she is. Dorit tries to stick up for Kim, but Rinna is a twat about it. Kim is upset, but articulate and kind.  Rinna is ridiculous, and LVP is not letting Rinna slide. Kyle is angry, LVP falters for a second, Kyle tells LVP to pick a lane, and LVP quickly readjusts her position. Brilliant television.

I do not believe anything Rinna says, including that she has sex with her husband, and don’t find her appealing on any level. Kim and Kyle are now going after Eden and the whole thing is sad. Eden says Kim is not compassionate about the loss of her sister, and Rinna jumps on it, but Kyle is not having it and defends Kim. I am loving me some Kim and Kyle Richards on this show. Kudos to Kyle for being so great.

Sidebar: Has Kim changes her shirt? Carnie plays therapist and I’m tuning out the noise by having a drink. Sorry. No sorry. I love you Jose. Kim looks great, Kyle is finally getting it, LVP is fabulous, Eden is out of place, Dorit is a one season girl, Erika is everything, Eileen is nothing, and I am done. Time will tell exactly how full of shit Rinna is. BH is picking up speed and a couple ladies are keeping it real.