November 21, 2018

Real Housewives of Atlanta Week 8 Recap

Tyos are generously sponsored by vodka and boredom.

I decided to bullet point this week. In fact, I might continue to bullet point until they give us an actual storyline. This season is uninteresting and needs some Nene as soon as possible. I’m drinking vodka tonight because my boyfriend Jose Cuervo said he needs a night off. I’m letting him rest since he took very good care of me on New Year’s Eve and is tired. Bless him. Grab a drink people. We’re going in.

– Cynthia is having a boob consultation
– She has invited all the girls to go with her
– Really?
– Cynthia is both dumb and boring
– Bless her
– Kandi is still annoyed with Phaedra
– Kandi is mean spirited
– Kenya is very pretty
– Porsha is made out of plastic
– Phaedra’s fake laugh makes my head hurt
– This is a waste of my time
– I don’t like the word titties
– Boobs are not a storyline
– I’m going to need another drink
– Sheree is furnishing her house
– Dear Lord
– I can’t
– This has been her storyline for YEARS
– Is her house on a main street?
– Does Sheree have a job?
– Not buying this at all
– Kandi is buying riley diamond earrings
– She is turning 14
– Joyce is with her
– Joyce is repulsive
– Kandi and her mom are dirty
– Or are they simply real?
– Dirty
– Ace thinks Joyce is lame too
– Riley doesn’t want to see her dad
– Joyce only cares about money
– Noel is hanging out with Peter
– I want to impale myself
– Peter is a pig
– This is scripted bullshit
– Why is Peter still here?
– Peter would date Noel
– Porsha is doing something to her vag
– God help me
– I am now doing shots
– Who dresses like this for this?
– Sheree is a troublemaker
– Sheree says Phaedra stepped out on Apollo
– Porsha defends Phaedra
– Porsha’s friend says Phaedra hit on her husband
– I’m so bored
– It is Riley’s birthday
– No big party
– Riley is very pretty
-The Riley dad storyline is gross
– Shame on Kandi for allowing this
– Sheree, Porsha and Phaedra are lunching
– Talking about vaginas
– Talking about Kandi talking crap
– Kandi is calling out Phaedra
– Phaedra is not digging it
– The truth hurts I guess
– Phaedra says Kandi is a lesbian
– Phaedra says Kandi does threesomes
– Make this stop
– Cynthia is looking at her new house
– Lakes have a lot of bugs
– Porsha, Sheree, and Kandi are now talking
– This show is cheap street crack
– Sheree must be exhausted from all her stirring
– Porsha slept with Riley’s dad
– Who cares?
– Anyone?
– Kandi is scary
– Porsha is trying to be a good friend
– Kandi has a vendetta against Phaedra
– Kandi is calling out Porsha
– I could not possibly care any less
– Kandi screams and leaves
– Porsha calls Kandi a lesbian
– Oy vey with this garbage
– Sheree says they are all messy
– Sheree is the messiest of all
– Next week will be stupid
– I will be here
– Drinking and keeping it real